A Fork in the Road
by jane-with-a-y
Summary: Bella wakes up the day after her fateful birthday party to find Alice perched on her bed. Ever wonder if things might have turned out differently if Alice and Rosalie had interfered? Guided by Bella's inner strength and determination, Edward must face both his human past and his vampiric future. Where will his decisions take their relationship? New Moon with a twist.
1. Chapter 1: In Which I am the Clairvoyant

Chapter one

In which I am the clairvoyant

I dream I am in the forest…so deep in the lush, wet, woods of Washington, that I can smell the earthy ground and taste the saltiness of the North Pacific waters that permeates the air. My heart is pounding and there is something wrong with my breathing; it's too fast and too labored. I am flooded with puzzlement and overwhelmed with grief. I am running blindly, because tears have clouded my vision, yet there is purpose behind my speed. Suddenly I am falling and my face is planted into the deep dark earth. Though I would gladly welcome the pain, I feel nothing.

Nothing…

However, I do start to _hear _something. The voice is soft at first, and then the volume grows and the earth is suddenly shaking so badly that I am certain it's an earthquake and I'll soon be swallowed whole.

"Bella, you need to wake up _now_! You need to wake up and listen to me. _Please _Bella…I don't have long. Edward is hunting, and I cannot risk having him hear my thoughts. _Please Bella._" Her voice sounds urgent and desperate.

I find myself turning deeper into my pillow, trying to sink further and further into my sleep.

"Bella!" she yells.

_Thump!_

My head hits the hard mattress with so much force that I sit up quickly in my bed with my hand on my heart. I wince as the pain in my arm registers with my brain.

"Ow," I groan out loud and to no one in particular. What a horrible dream. Then I feel, rather than see, that I am in fact not alone in my room. I gasp as Alice's pixie features hover over my face.

"Alice? What the hell…?" I look at my clock that is now lying on my floor.

Apparently I knocked it over when I was rudely awakened. Five O'clock a.m.

I groan, "Go away Alice…" I try to lie back down but my shoulders are pulled forward abruptly.

"No, Bella, I'm not going anywhere and I don't have time to apologize. You need to wake up and you need to listen to me because I don't have much time." Alice's face is shadowed in the dimness of my bedroom. The light from the hall in the entryway makes her marble skin glow.

"Time?" I struggle to grasp what she is saying. _Time for what?_ My brain is still foggy and I can't even understand my own voice, it is so thick with sleep and sounds like it is clogged with tears. Tears? And I feel something else too… I shake my head in an effort to clear it and my stomach suddenly clenches. I almost gag at the sensation.

And that's when it hits me. That's when I recognize what I am feeling. The punch of it socks me right in the middle of my solar plexus and I gasp out loud.

_Fear_.

Yes, suddenly I am afraid…scared right down to my bones, and out of my wits. I struggle to find a reason for this emotion. I look at Alice's anxious face, and begin to remember all the details of what had transpired last night. The memories are rushing to the forefront, and I find myself desperately trying to catch my breath, but the air is as dead as my true love's heart.

_Edward_.

Oh God, I remember his face as he dropped me off at home last night. He looked so sad, so defeated. Worse, he looked resigned. The old cliché about the other shoe waiting to fall is true after all. Except it wasn't a shoe. It was a boot with a metal heel, and it hadn't just fallen, it had kicked us both in the ass.

That. Fucking. Party.

I knew in my heart that having a party was going to be a huge mistake. I'm not a psychic, but for some reason as the events played out last evening I knew ahead of time exactly what would happen.

The ripping of the envelope. The warm drop of blood that oozed out of my finger tip. The sound the blood made when it plopped on Esme's prized Persian carpet. The stares from the Cullens who looked at me first with curiosity and then with appetite.

The scenes played out frame by frame like a bad movie.

Edward's beautiful face contorted in the shadows that flickered from the hundreds of candles which illuminated the room. I saw his frightened eyes lock on mine and I let out a small gasp.

And then it began.

Jasper's hiss was guttural and his lithe body lunged at me. Emmett and Carlisle leaped to their feet and pinned him down. I'll never forget his screams of frustration as he fought them off ferociously.

Edward grabbed me fiercely, and tossed me out of harm's way. I catapulted into the air, and was sent careening into the glass cocktail table knocking it over and shattering it to bits.

Then the blood began coursing down my arm and pooling on the rug. With each beat of my heart, more of my fluid was spilled.

Oh God, I really hate the smell of blood. I would have passed out if it weren't for the scream.

Edward's scream – his defensive stance as he poised in front Jasper; his death grip around Jasper's shoulders as he tossed him unmercifully into his cherished piano.

The piano…somehow throughout all this drama the destruction of his piano was the most heartbreaking sight of all. I can't explain why, but it was. The tears that pooled in my eyes burst forth like a ruptured dam. The scream that was caught in my throat pined out of me.

Edward's face. As long as I live I will never forget the look on Edward's face.

I waited for him to come for me and to rescue me from the sight of his ruined piano and the smell of my own blood.

But he didn't.

Carlisle rushed to protect me. I remember feeling relieved, yet disappointed. _That_ was supposed to be Edwards's job.

I looked at Edward, and tried desperately to make sense of the whole mess. And for the first time, I saw him, r_eally_ saw him, and not as a century-old vampire. No. I saw him for what he was; a shaken and scared seventeen-year-old boy. I saw a frightened teenager who wanted to comfort his brother for behaving badly. I saw a desperate kid who needed his father to take control of a bad situation. I saw a boyfriend who didn't have a clue in hell as to what to do with his bleeding and broken girlfriend who lay in misery on his mother's rug.

And in that moment, in that _precise_ moment, I felt a strong urge to comfort _him._ I wanted to wrap my arms around him and call him baby and soothe him just like a normal girlfriend would do when bad things happen.

But that was not to be. Because we weren't a normal couple, and we never would be.

I listened to Carlisle take charge of the situation. His reassuring words lulled me to compliance as he ministered to my wounds. My eyes desperately searched for Edward's face, to seek reassurance and comfort. But what I found in his eyes was neither.

What I saw, albeit briefly, was fear.

He looked at me then, and the expression on his face was like that of a man who had just received a death sentence. I watched in part horror and part fascination as his eyes glazed over. He blinked rapidly, three times and when he re-opened them, he was gone. Completely gone.

His eyes were empty and lifeless. They looked like the eyes of a dead fish. I almost giggled then, a hysterical chuckle, as I thought of that analogy. It made me think of Charlie. Suddenly, I wanted to go home. I needed my dad.

I don't remember much after that. I know that Carlisle took me into his study, and I recall him stitching my injury closed. I remember both his quiet words and his gentle touch. I also remember snatches of our conversation, as he told me a little bit about himself, his human life, and about Edward. I dimly recall how he shared his philosophy about souls with me. How he believes that vampires may have redemption, and even perhaps stand a chance to reach heaven if they live a good life and abstain from drinking human blood. I remember the tender look on his face when he told me how good Edward was…_is_. And I recall with vivid clarity his comments about Edward and how he believes himself to be a soulless monster. That he feels he is undeserving of my love. That he could never risk damning my soul, no matter how much he loves me.

Edward entered the study a few minutes later and I remember how I was afraid to look him in the eyes because I knew that their emptiness would be my undoing. I heard him tell Carlisle that he would take me home. My eyes had shot up searching for a sign of life, but found nothing at all in the depths of his amber eyes.

My voice spoke then…unwittingly. I forced myself to steady my gaze and fixed my eyes on Edwards's collar in an effort to avoid the deceased salmon-like expression.

"I want Carlisle to take me home," I told him quietly.

"No!" His voice thundered loudly in Carlisle's normally tranquil study.

"Edward…maybe it would be best if I took her home." Carlisle's voice trailed off.

Edward spoke again, this time quietly and more controlled.

"No, I am taking Bella home." His determined words did not at all match his lifeless eyes as he got my purse, took my arm, and walked me to the door.

I noticed that his eyes never made contact with mine, and that his touch on my arm was cold and felt almost clinical. We went outside, and I crawled into my truck on the passenger side. I shrank as far away from him as possible, and stared absently out the window. My mind felt numb and my voice was mute.

We pulled up into my driveway and he shut off the truck's ignition. We sat there for many minutes, saying nothing. I could hear the crickets chirping, the rustle of leaves and the thumping of my heart.

_Oh Christ, _I thought to myself- this is like a really bad coming of age movie. _Sixteen Candles_ meets _Interview with a Vampire._

I started to wonder what the soundtrack for this poorly-acted and badly-directed chick flick would be comprised of, and my mind started to hum the lyrics to the classic cornball song of the Nineties: _Kiss Me_. I stifled a giggle and managed to swallow my hysteria with a loud gulp. Not funny, Bella. Not funny at all. This was supposed to be an angst filled moment. Really.

"Bella…" his velvety voice interrupted our silent night. I jumped so hard in my seat that I hit the ceiling, and cried out. My head reeled in pain. I rubbed at the spot vigorously in an effort to quell the sting. Well, that's gonna leave a lump, I remember thinking. Perfect.

"Are you okay?" His cool hand touched me softly, and I thought for a second, no, a millisecond, that maybe_, just maybe_, everything would be okay.

But it wasn't.

I looked into his concerned face with confusion. Huh? I struggled to understand exactly what he meant by asking me if I was okay. Did he mean my arm or the drama of the whole evening? Maybe he meant my head. I didn't ask. Instead I continued to rub it. The ache was familiar and therefore comforting. I barely went a day without clunking it. Renee always chuckled whenever it happened and would ask me if I knocked some sense into it. I never had.

I got out of the truck and my senses were immediately assaulted by the cool night air. I breathed deeply and sighed. I forced myself to look at him, though I was careful not to make eye contact. His sadness enveloped me and it tugged at my heart. I felt it settle over us as it hung heavy in the air and I shook my head in an effort to free myself from its grasp.

_I need to get out of here_, I thought to myself. _Get your ass in gear, Bella, and go!_

"Um, I'm going inside now," I told him awkwardly. _Honest to God,_ can this night get any more dramatic?

Never ask God that question. Like, ever.

I heard him sigh. "Bella…" his sad, sad voice filled the air."We need to talk…" his words trailed off and I sensed that the word BUT was going to be included in his next sentence.

"Will you be coming in?" I asked, expecting his negative response.

"Not tonight."

I let out a deep breath and felt the moisture of tears begin to prick under my eyelids. "Okay," I said, as I swallowed my disappointment. I knew he could hear the sorrow in my voice and he watched me warily as I walked towards him. He stepped back as I approached him. I looked at him puzzled and did it again. He took another step backward. It was almost comical. I'd take one step forward and he'd take two steps backward. I repeated the process once more and he followed suit.

Just who was supposed to be the vampire here? I felt like a predator.

"Well, it's still my birthday," I said shakily as I finally managed to back him up against my truck. "Can I ask one thing?" I bit my lip and I waited for what seemed like hours for his response.

He looked at me then and I saw the dead fish eyes flicker. They were full of questions.

"Kiss me?" I looked at him and raised my brow. _"Please, Edward…"_

I saw a look cross his features, and I thought he was going to refuse me. I braced myself for his rejection, but his face came towards me and I stifled a small sound of surprise as he pressed his lips gently, yet firmly, on mine. He opened his mouth ever so slightly. I felt his cold tongue snake out and slowly trace the entire circumference of my lips. I gasped. This was no ordinary kiss.

A low current buzzed between us.

My stomach fluttered.

My heart pounded.

My breathing stopped.

The current grew stronger and stronger. The air around us began to sizzle.

And then our lips exploded_._

In a flash he grabbed me hard and pinned me against the truck. He bent his knees, slid his entire body up towards mine roughly, and began to kiss me with utter and complete abandon. His hands were everywhere…in my hair, on my waist, cupping my breasts…

Oh my God…_my breasts_? In all the months we had been together, Edward had never touched my breasts. I wanted him to, but he never did. Our physical contact had been limited to a few chaste kisses, and soft innocent touches. In all my wildest fantasies, I'd never imagined anything like this. Not, _ever…_

He rained kisses all over my face, my hair, my throat. His hands wormed their way underneath my bodice and caressed the swell of my cleavage. His mouth trailed down my neck, and his tongue licked my collarbones, and then returned to the top of my breasts, lapping and kissing them. I felt the top of my dress shred under his urgent touch, and his mouth sought frantically to locate something as he cupped the fullness of my breasts with his hands.

My nipples…. Oh God…his mouth found my nipples.

I moaned loudly as his cold tongue circled my engorged tips. I had never had a man touch my breasts before, and I had no idea how sensual the experience would be. I grabbed his hair hard, and brought his mouth more firmly against me. His chest rumbled and the sexiest sound I ever heard poured out of his throat…he groaned.

Oh, sweet Jesus, Edward groaned!

I felt a sudden rush of wetness flood my panties and my hands left his hair and reached for his thighs.

"Oh _fuck,_" he moaned as he pressed his body firmly on mine, doing the full body slide once again.

What…wait…_what_?

Edward…my sweet, innocent, Victorian, said…fuck? _Yeah_ he did. He took a deep breath and buried his face in my hair. My brain fought to understand, and then I heard another rumble, and then…oh dear lord…I heard him…_growl._ Glancing up quickly I saw his face. His eyes were hooded and his lips parted. His chest was heaving. Heaving! I looked into those ferocious eyes and gasped.

I saw desire.

I saw lust.

I saw raw, naked, unbridled passion.

I saw a Vampire.

And he was as sexy as _fuck_….

He grabbed my hips and clutched me wildly to his front. I felt something hard boring into my center.

Oh, God…his arousal.

Edward.

Was.

_**Hard.**_

I went insane with want. I heaved my aching center up towards his, and he moaned again, over and over. His kisses became hard and urgent, and I felt his tongue searching for mine. He tasted soooo good! Our tongues began to circle each other, as did our hips. Over and over, he ground his arousal into mine…I was panting and moaning…my hands raked his hair, his hands grabbed my behind. He squeezed my bottom and ground himself into me repeatedly. He lowered his face to my neck and pressed hard kisses that should have been icy cold, but were scorching hot. He ran his tongue along my jaw and nipped at me with his cool mouth behind my ear. My senses were so flooded that my brain went completely numb;_ Bella has momentarily left the studio…please stand by._

"Bella, Bella…" he began to chant, his mouth deliciously wet against my ear.

His groans became rumbles…he grabbed my legs, and I wrapped them around his hips. The circling and grinding became more intense. Somehow, he had managed to move us over to the hood of my truck, and I was gasping and panting so loudly that I thought I might be having a seizure. I felt an unfamiliar coiling low down in my stomach, and I began to keen.

"Edward..." I groaned, "Edward…"

"Unghhhh…I'm, I'm..." Edward's panting and grinding suddenly halted. I felt him jerk hard three times against my center and then he stilled.

Edward had just come in his pants.

My own orgasm shot threw me like I launched a nuclear missile. Until last night I had never experienced one before. Nothing in the movies or magazines I had ever seen or read had prepared me for it. Not the whispered giggles of the teenage girls I called my friends or my mother's ridiculous council on the mechanics of sex had offered me anything in the form of being anywhere close to being prepared. I nearly passed out from the intensity of the whole thing.

It was hands down, the sexiest and most intense moment of my life.

My legs turned to jello, and I slid down the hood of the truck.

"Ow!" the pain in my injured arm cut through me like a knife, sliced the charged atmosphere, and stilled us both.

We looked at each other stunned.

What the hell had just happened here?

"Are you okay? Did I …did I hurt you Bella?" His voice sounded strange and raspy. But it was his face that was most troubling. It looked…pained.

"No…I'm, I'm okay." I stuttered. I sensed his embarrassment and I began to blush. The blood rushed up to the roots of my hair. My ears suddenly felt hot.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward's curt apology pierced through my aching heart. "I don't know what came over me just now. I never should have touched you like that. I was a disgusting and wretched…a vile…Ugh…I'm just so… sorry for _all of it_. I am beyond mortified."

Disgusted? Wretched? Mortified?

In that instant I felt my chest crack and splinter. He was ashamed, and his shame left me feeling humiliated and lost. Tears filled my eyes, and my face crumbled. I wanted the earth to open up and gobble me whole. I wanted to die. I had never felt such embarrassment. A sob started to force its way out of me, but I suppressed it before it surfaced.

I forced myself to look at him. What I saw in his face confirmed my worst fears. His eyes refused to make contact with mine. His head hung down in shame and he looked like he wanted to be anywhere in the world but here. Believe me, after seeing that face, I felt exactly the same way.

"I'm going inside now," I mumbled; my legs were still shaky as I attempted to march towards my front porch. I remember hoping that he would somehow stop me and then praying that he wouldn't.

He didn't.

"Goodbye, Bella." I heard him whisper hoarsely into the night. I felt a rush of cool air and knew he was gone.

Determinedly, I continued my walk of shame, entered the house and wound my way up the stairs. I was so exhausted. I shucked off my birthday dress from Alice, (it had been so pretty) and looked at tiredly where it lay in a heap on my floor. Torn and ruined, I thought. Just like me. I threw on my sleep sweats and camisole and didn't bother to brush my teeth since he wasn't coming tonight, anyway.

I found my way to my bed and threw myself upon it. The crack in my chest deepened, and the sob that I'd held in for so long burst forth. I desperately tried to muffle the sounds within my bedding and prayed Charlie wouldn't hear me. He rarely woke up, but it would be my luck that tonight would be his exception.

Happy fucking Birthday, Bella.

Outside I heard an unfamiliar noise. My ears strained to decipher the din which sounded like howling and pain. My head shot up, and I tried to focus on it…what was it? Was it an injured animal? The sound grew louder and louder and its moan pierced through my heart and shattered it.

"_Bella…"_

Oh God, I thought aloud. It wasn't an injured animal.

It was Edward.

Edward, _my Edward_, was crying in the night.

I pushed my pillow over my head and allowed the blackness to descend. But not before I remembered his last words to me. He hadn't said good night.

He'd said goodbye.

**"Bella!"**

I snap out of my memories with a jerk. Alice's face bears down on me, and for the first time ever, I realize that although she is my best friend, she is also a vampire.

"Bella, whatever you're thinking and feeling right now has got to be put on hold. I need you to _breathe _Bella. _Breathe._ And I need you to listen." Her face is beautiful in this moment but there is also pain in her dark and luminous eyes.

I sit up fully and let out a long sigh. I know in an instant exactly what she is going to say. Yes, in this one brief moment I am as clear in my intuition as she is with her visions.

Edward is leaving me.


	2. Chapter 2: Bitch Slap

Chapter Two

Bitch Slap

I sit up and attempt to give voice to my thoughts, but I am interrupted by Alice's words.

"Bella, he's leaving. We all are. I'm so sorry Bella…" her voice trails off.

"Alice, I know." I am eerily calm and resolute. It is my biggest fear and yet I am conscious and aware. It was what I had always expected after all. I had known this day was coming, long before that stupid party, even before that awful night with James in the ballet studio. I think I knew this moment would come the first time I laid eyes on Edward Cullen. He was always too beautiful, too otherworldly, to be pinned down and trapped in my boring and very human world, and despite the fact that he told me repeatedly how much he loved me, and how I had given him life, I knew in my heart that he would not dwell in my life for long.

I look at Alice and asked the question I don't want ask.

"When?"

"In a few hours, Bella. I'm so sorry... We're already packed." Her words are bitter, yet expected.

"Jasper…" I try to say, but I am interrupted once again by Alice.

"Jasper's already left. He is so ashamed, " her voice is sad and full of sorrow.

"But Alice, I already forgave him. It wasn't his fault. If I hadn't been so damn clumsy and careless."

"No, Bella…don't you dare try to blame yourself for this. Jasper struggles with his urges every day. I should have seen this coming. If it was anyone's fault it is mine and mine alone. I just got so caught up in the idea of throwing a party that I didn't even stop to think what it might mean for you and for him. I put you both at risk. I'm so sorry Bella. Sorrier than I can say. I love you like I would a sister; you're the best friend I've ever had." Her eyes looked different…glassy, unfocused. Although there were no tears I knew this was Alice crying. I reached to comfort her, to comfort me.

"Alice, I love you too," I say…tears starting to clog my shaking voice. "What should I do?"

I try to think of my life without her in it…I see the lunch table where we all sit…and I am empty. I feel dead inside. No more mindless chatter or struggles with her interference in my wardrobe choices…of unwanted trips to the mall.

My heart breaks… And then it breaks further when I think of my life without _him._ I see myself sitting solo in English class listening to Mr. Berty's inevitable drone. I witness myself driving up the long and winding driveway in my rust bucket truck and pulling up to a house that is vacant and still. I picture endless nights of being alone; of a window that is shut and barred, and of curtains that will never part again. I envision myself in our meadow…and I see myself lost and alone.

All at once the dead feeling suddenly disappears and is replaced by yet another emotion. A feeling I rarely ever feel when I think of Edward.

_**Anger.**_

Suddenly I am no longer sad. I am no longer embarrassed. I am no longer tearful.

I. Am. Pissed. He is going to throw all of this away.

"How fucking dare he?"

I am incensed. I am livid. I jump up and begin to throw my jeans on, struggling with the zipper. I look frantically around the room and see my gray sweatshirt, the one with the faded Forks High School emblem printed on the front. The words are so care worn that the letter O now looks like a u and the r is completely missing. I like to joke to Jessica that I attend Fuks High School. She giggles and offers me her sharpie every time, daring me to write in the missing letter C. I never do though because I am aware that it will somehow offend Edward. And up until this very moment, I have never consciously offended him and his old fashioned principles. But I know now that this is all going to change. I make a mad dash over to my desk and shove my hand inside my drawer and pull out a marker and scribble in the missing C.

"Bella, what on earth are you doing?" Alice looks at me like I've grown two heads and I'm spitting fire, and despite the fact that she is a Vampire and I am the human she looks almost…afraid? Yes…I am thinking to myself. Good. If I can make Alice afraid of me, just think of what I can do to Edward.

"Doing?" I scream (Thankfully Charlie has the early shift and has already left for the day). "What am I _DOING?_ I'll tell you what I am _DOING_…Alice." I put my hands on her granite shoulders and stare her straight in the eyes. I take a deep cleansing breath and punch out my words like I was typing them on my laptop.

"I (period) am (period) breaking (period) up (period) with (period) _HIM!"_

"Oh thank God. I hope you hand him his ass!" Alice giggles, relief floods her features and her face is transformed.

"Hand him his _ass_? Oh Alice…when I am through with him he'll be sporting two assholes." (Not even sure where I heard this expression before but I'm thinking I got it from Emmett). The thought of Edward having two assholes makes me giggle, so I am momentarily distracted. However the giggles are short lived when I begin to realize that I may never hear Emmett's off colored and brilliantly delivered jokes again. My anger returns with a vengeance.

I turn to Alice with a steel glare and ask, "Now, _where is he?"_

Alice puts her hands and my shoulder and sighs, "He's just over the border in Vancouver. He'll be back in time for school to end. He's planning on meeting you here at the house and then taking you for a walk in the woods." All at once, Alice loses focus on my face and begins to drift, I recognize this as her fortune telling stare.

"Tell me everything Alice, exactly as it is supposed to unfold", I beg.

And she does.

She finishes her sooth saying by telling me that he will kiss my forehead gently, just before he makes me promise him that I'll never do anything reckless. And then he will leave and I will be forever alone, lost in the dark Washington forest, left crying on the soft green ground. This was my nightmare and all of my insecurities wrapped into one ugly package.

"The WOODS!" I scream. I cannot believe that he is planning to take me into the forest and tell me this crap. "What is he planning to do…leave me there? Crying? Begging for him not to leave me?"

At once my anger evaporates and I am feeling the hysteria and sadness returning. In my mind's eye I suddenly see Edwards' beautiful face looking down at me; I hear his melodic voice uttering the words that Alice tells me he will say" Bella…you're not GOOD for me". My face crumbles. My heart clenches…the love that I feel for him …MY Edward, is so intense in this moment that I buckle at the waist and (predictably) stumble forward. But before I crash on the floor I am grabbed roughly by marble arms and feel a sharp sting on my cheek. I look up shocked and realize have just been bitch slapped hard by Alice.

"Alice, what the HELL!" My face is stinging and the anger I am squelching returns with a vengeance.

"Bella, snap out of it! Don't you DARE start to feel emo again…leave that to the expert…Edward Cullen! That moody bastard deserves to be put in his place. Now he's my brother, and I love him. But Bella, he just won't listen. He has lived his whole life in this sad void…he's never been happy…never even been alive. Not until you came into his world.

Bella, Edward loves you. He does. You are his whole world. You're everything to him. _Everything_. And he is about to throw it all away. And why? Because he is too stubborn to listen to you and what you want, what you need. Our whole family supports you Bella; we all want what you want. We WANT you to change…to be one of us. Edward wants it too. He's just too blinded by his love for you and his need to protect you to see it clearly. He's stupid Bella. What can I say? He may be a vampire, but he's also a guy."

Stupid Vampire.

"But Alice," I hear my voice start to quiver. "What do I do? What do I say? I'm out of my element here. I can't do this alone." I feel my eyes filling with tears once again.

"You won't have to do it alone, Bella. I saw this coming and I knew we were gonna have to call in the big dogs."

"Big dogs?"

"Well, not dogs. Actually that is a _very_ poor choice of words considering what we are. And believe me...we only need ONE to help you out in this case. No... something more along the line of a feline. Maybe a tigress... a very _seductive_ and _unscrupulous tigress. _You might say she puts the ME in the YOW."

I look up to see my window being opened. I am not at all surprised when I see a flash of gold dart inside my bedroom.

_Rosalie…._


	3. Chapter 3: The Divine Miss Hale

Chapter 3

The Divine Miss Hale

Rosalie enters my room; her beauty is so overwhelming that it overshadows all else. My room looks like a freaking ghetto; not worthy of her glorious presence. I catch sight of my face in the mirror and am depressed as shit. I look like a worn out turd, no wonder Edward wants to leave my ass. I don't blame him. I'd want to leave my ass too.

"Bella?" The arch angel has spoken; her voice is pure silk wrapped around hard steel. I look at her with my mouth agape; my lips form a perfect O. Great…I look like I am catching flies. Nice.

"Look Bella, I know we don't have a lot of time here and I have to be quick. You need to look at me and you need to listen to me, and listen to me good." I shut my damned open trap and open my ears. Rosalie has rarely ever deigned to speak to me at all much less enter my humble abode. I feel this is going to be an epic moment.

It is.

"Bella, I know you think I hate you and I'm sorry for that." I look at her stunned; my mouth opens once again. Super; the return of the Venus fly trap.

"Bella, I don't hate you. I can't say that I particularly like you, but I have never hated you, not at all. Truthfully, I've always been jealous of you"…. Her voice trails off.

_What_? The divine Miss Hale is jealous of ….**me**? I am in no way prepared for these words, that for sure. I look at her stunned and try desperately to form a sentence.

"Huh"…

Yeah, I know, pathetic… I can't even form a complete sentence. I am at a loss for words.

"Bella…I don't have time to explain my feelings for you and even if I did I probably wouldn't even bother. I'm not good at expressing myself, I never have been. I don't do feelings and I never emote. But you should know two things. First, that I love my brother, even though he has irritated me since the first time I heard him open his mouth to speak. He was a condescending prick to me when Carlisle saved me from dying and I have never forgiven him for that," Rosalie huffs. I try unsuccessfully to close my mouth but all it does is flaps.

"Bella, I know Edward must have told you that I was brutally raped by my fiancé and his buddies and left for dead." (I knew that she had been attacked but Edward never told me any of the details. I am horrified).

"Rose..." I try to say. But I am instantly cut off by her sharp tongue.

"No, Bella…save it. I know you're sorry for me, but this happened a long time ago and trust me I got my revenge. But when Carlisle saved me and I was going through the transformation, I heard Edward's remarks. _Rosalie Hale_ (her voice was a perfect imitation of Edward's liquid velvet; with a shot of snarky. Straight up dry with a twist, rocks on the side). "Ughhh", she continued, "he sounded so scathing and disgusted. I was hurt. No man had ever regarded me with such utter disdain. I later learned that Carlisle saved me with the intention that I would be Edwards mate."

_WHAT the F?_

Edward had never told me this. I am so stunned that I can't even begin to wrap my brain around this. Edward rejected this golden sex goddess? On what planet would any man ever do such thing? Not possible.

"Anyway," she continues, "Once I thought about it I realized he was right. I suppose to his eyes I appeared to be a self centered spoiled bitch. I guess maybe I was. You probably think I am too. But I'm not, Bella. Truly, I have feelings and emotions even though I don't voice them, and I can be kind if I am so inclined. I'd like to be kind to you."

What, are my ear buds still in? I did not just hear her say that, did I?

I did.

"Now then, this brings me to the second part of why I have treated you the way I do and it still has to do with jealousy." (There she goes again using that word. This word is not even in my vocabulary when it pertains to me. No one has ever been jealous of me. Why would they be? I am plain and awkward and ordinary. What Edward sees in me, besides my alluring blood, is beyond me).

"Bella," says the ice queen, "I am jealous of your _humanity._ You have every chance to have a normal and happy life; one that is full of weddings, and children and happy birthdays and Christmas mornings. Days full of promise and change. I'll never have that Bella." Just then she stops speaking for a moment and I see her eyes, they are full of sadness. Her face looks wistful. She lets out a small sigh and looks at me with a small smile and a little shrug.

"This is me Bella. I will always be as I am; an 18 year old girl who will never change, never grow old, never get to have babies and never sit on a rocker with my husband and grow gray. I'm frozen Bella... _frozen in time."_

She lets out a deep sigh and fixes her golden eyes upon me. "Don't look so sad. Things got better after I found Emmett. I DID find love. Emmett is more than I could have ever hoped for, and if this hadn't happened to me, to us… then we never would have been. But it will always just be the two of us, alone, forever." Her eyes look glassy and if she could shed tears I believe they'd be flowing freely.

I am so sad for her, and this emotion makes me doing something I swear I never in a million years though I would do. I reach over and wrap my arms around her in a deep hug and kiss her on the cheek. She looks stunned at first but then she unexpectedly returns my hug and squeezes me hard and pats my back awkwardly.

"Bella, I know you love my brother, and believe me, I know he sure loves you. I never thought I'd live to see the day, and believe me, there are a LOT of days that I'm talking about here. But seriously, I never thought I'd see the great one fall. And fall he has…hard. He's a completely different person now. He's fun and playful…Christ…he's _happy"_… I feel a lump grow in my throat. He _was_ happy Rose…past tense. We both were.

"Okay, enough of this drama lama," she says with determination." We've got to get you situated." She gives me a long, hard look and turns to Alice.

"Get me my bag."

Alice squeals like a giddy school girl at a Jonas Brother concert and leaps up and goes over to the window where a large duffle bag sits I hadn't even noticed it when Rose entered the room and I am suddenly wary. What have these two Vamps got planned for me? I don't have to wonder long.

"Okay, Bella here's the plan. First we've got to make you look as gorgeous as humanly possible." I look up at her to check for sarcasm. Yup, it's there…pun was intended. Humph!

"Alice, I'm going to do her hair and her makeup, I need you to get her outfit ready. No, not the black bra Ali…the BLUE one, with the matching thong," Rose barks out her instructions.

Thong? I feel my ass cheeks clench at the mere thought of the word. No way! I do NOT want to wear a thong. Cripes, I'll be picking at my butt the entire conversation with Edward and then he will definitely be breaking up with me.

"No, I yell, "No thong!" Rose glares at me and hisses. My stomach is clenching now instead of my ass. Okay, guess I'll be wearing a thong.

"Bella, give Alice your sweatshirt." I do because I am scared shitless of what ELVIRIA will do to me if I don't. Sheesh. I pull the faded garment off and toss it to Alice.

"Ali, go ahead and get some scissors and slut that thing up will you?"

_Slut it up_? How the hell does one manage to slut up a ratty sweatshirt? I am left with my unvoiced question swimming in my head, because now Rose has a vice grip on my head and is applying makeup and blusher (like I need that shit), on my face.

"Ummm…listen Rosalie," I say warily, "I appreciate all this effort, truly I do, but I haven't even had a shower yet."

"No," she says to me with a smirk that is reminiscent of her brothers," I know"… She turns to me then and her smirk is replaced with a big grin. "Had a little fun with Eddie boy last night, didn't you? Trust me…I can smell it all over you."

I blush from the top of my head down to the tips of my toes. She knows…

"Oooh Bella!" Alice's voice is full of mischief. "Doooo TELL"!

Uh, uh. No way am I going to overshare this kind of information. But when I see the knowing look exchanged by these two creatures, I know that my denial is in vain. Alice probably saw the whole lascivious scene unfold in her damn head before it even happened. I shrug.

"Oh, yeah," Rose laughs, "We KNOW. He sexed you up all over that piece of shit you call a truck".

"Rose," Alice giggles. "Don't embarrass her! Besides what they did was _frottage._"

"_**Frottage?" **_Rosalie shrieks with laughter. "Okay, yeah, whatever. This ain't France. In the states it's called _dry humping_. And by the smell of things, Bella was anything but dry."

Gah! Take me now Lord, please, I am ready to go. I am beyond mortified (Edwards words from last night are ringing in my ear). Oh buddy, if you only knew. I need a thesaurus to help me find a new word for mortification because my vocabulary simply can't come up with one. And English is my best subject.

"Oh, Bella," She snarls, "Lighten up. The scent of last night's little tryst is all part of the plan." They both dissolve into laughter. Bitches…

I wish I could make a run for it, I really do, but now Rose is attacking my hair with a flat iron and I am rooted to the spot. The one time I had attempted to straighten my hair with a flat iron I had burned my forehead and had to cut bangs just to hide the mark. No way was I going to make a move this time around.

"Okay," Rose says calmly. "Your hair and makeup are done. You can go brush your teeth and then we'll get you dressed and put some lip gloss on."

_Lip gloss_? Fuck my miserable life.

I sigh and head for the bathroom knowing it's pointless to argue with Cruella Deville and the evil Tinker Bell who calls herself my friend. Once in the bathroom I look at my face in the mirror.

I can't believe my eyes. Who the hell is this chick and where did she put my face? The girl staring back at me is sex on fire; all bedroom eyes and dark sooty lashes… her face is impossibly beautiful; luscious peaches topped with sweet cream. Her long mahogany hair is straight as a pin and falls alluring to her waist with a riot of curls teasing up at the ends.

"Hey, Bella," Rosalie's command bellows from my bedroom. "If you're done admiring yourself can you please get back in here so we can get you dressed and give you the plan of action?" I tear myself from the mirror and bid farewell to the sexy brunette. I laugh realizing that I find myself sexy and the thought makes me feel…powerful. Yes…I am a sexy girl; who knew? I shrug my shoulders and return to my bedroom.

"So, Bella, what do you think of Rose's makeover; not too shabby, huh?" Alice asks with a laugh.

"No," I gulp, "not bad at all. Okay…is it time for the big reveal?" I ponder over what the plan is and if I will be able to pull it off.

"In a second, Bella," first we need to get you dressed, and I don't want to hear any bitching about it. In order for this plan to work you have to look the part. Now go put on the clothes Alice has laid out for you," Rosalie instructs.

I go over to the bed and see a beautiful blue lace bra lying there on the covers. It is a perfect shade of hyacinth blue, very lacy with a firm demi cup. I pick it up and look it over and feel for the padding. Inside each cup is a hidden pouch that is filled with some kind of liquid.

"Those are silicone pads," Alice explains. "They'll help push your boobs up and will make them look amazing," she says enthusiastically.

Okaaay…so much for the bra… Underneath silicone Sally is the dreaded thong, it is the same color and fabric as the bra. I pick it up gingerly and think to myself that it looks like a sling shot for porn queens; with Edward being the apparent target. Hmm. Next I move on to a sheer, barely there tank top, it is long and has a broad lace band at the bottom. It's really quite lovely. I sigh. Finally I spy a pair of expertly faded and torn at the knees designer skinny jeans. They are exactly the kind of jeans I have always wanted to own but could never afford. They also appear to be two sizes too small.

"Um, Alice..." I try to protest, but I am instantly cut off.,

"Just put them on Bella, they'll fit…trust me." Alice is firm in her resolve.

I grab the entire ensemble and scoop them up and return to the bathroom, this time ignoring the mirror. I shrug out of my sleep sweats and camisole and put on the thong. It is surprisingly more comfortable than I would have thought. Hmm... Next I put on the bra, which is definitely not an easy task; I am used to wearing sports bras or the plain white ones that come in a box and are purchased at Wal-Mart. Arggghhh! I manage to get the impossibly intricate cups in place and clasp the front closure. I glance down and see what appear to be ass cheeks practically grazing my chin. Gulp. I guess this bra really must be Victoria's little secret. Next I Struggle into the skinny jeans; which is no easy task. They are very tight in the ass but the zipper goes up fairly easy. I pull over the tank and pull it down over my jeans. Now where's the sweatshirt? Oh right, Alice has it. I return to the bedroom.

"Bella…oh my God…you look awesome!" Alice shrieks. Rosalie laughs and glances over at me saying, "You'll do." Alice comes over to me and hands me the sweatshirt. The band has been cut off and the fabric has been cut to mid-waist. One of the sleeves has also been cut and frayed. I put it on over the tank while Alice expertly adjusts it into place. Done.

"Now it's time for your shoes," Alice sings out. I look down at horror to see a pair of open toed hooker heels glaring up at me. I wince. Nope…I am not putting these mothers on no matter what these two monsters have planned.

"Girls," I stammer, "There is just no way possible I am ever going to be able to wear these shoes. I mean…come on…this is me here…clumsy Bella. I'll fall flat on my face before I ever even leave the house and I'll end up having to meet Edward in the ER for our exit interview!"

"Oh, Okay Bella, you win. I tried Rose." Alice looks to Rose for Alice looks to Rose, and Rosalie waves her hand like a Queen granting approval. I grab my Chucks and feel triumphant; at least my feet will be comfortable.

"Okay, now what's the plan?" I look to them for guidance and instruction. Alice comes over to me and sits me down on the edge of the bed and Rose sits in a chair like the Queen she is, in front of me.

And then they begin…

**Authors Note: I always thought it was tragic that Alice never saw the whole birthday party debacle in a vision, and I found it to be even more tragic that she chose to leave Bella to her own devices after the fact. COME ON! What girl friend does that? **

**Reviewers are entitled to one free makeover from Rosalie.**


	4. Chapter 4: Beer Blast

Chapter four

Beer Blast

It's 2:00 o'clock in the afternoon and I am sitting in Mike Newton's conversion van. Mike is cranking up his radio and the sounds of the Beach Boys fill the air. When I question him about his choice in music he dismisses my obvious lack of appreciation with a laugh and a reassurance that in spite of their age and overall cheesy lyrics they are in fact a classic, just like my truck. Whatever…

_"**And the Northern Girls with the way they kiss they keep their boyfriends warm at night**_**_ …_"** Mike is singing along, badly. I slink as far away as humanly possible; my sore arm pressing into the cab door and it hurts. In my wildest imagination I never could have envisioned this scenario. However, Alice had.

_"Bella, I know today is going to be hard on you, especially at school. But PUHLEEZE do yourself a little favor and have a little fun with it. You look unbelievably hot! Tyler and Eric are going to be drooling all over you and Mike is going to be humping your leg every chance he gets. Just imagine __Edward's__ face when you arrive home in Mike's van…" Alice's words are still ringing in my ear. So I shouldn't have been too surprised when I finally managed to escape from the hell hole they call public school, only to discover that my truck won't start. The evil pixie struck again. I sigh…this is all part of the plan. Except as it turns out, there wasn't really a plan after all, just a few words of advice._

_"Bella…whatever you do today, do NOT let Edward take you into the woods," Alice stated. "This alone will throw him off guard and will give you the upper hand."_

_Okay…no woods-check. Upper hand - double check._

_"Bella, today a lot of guys are going to be checking you out and asking you for your cell phone number. Give it to them." Rosalie's words were commanding and firm. I groaned…I rarely give my number out. But she was right…by 1:30 I have been asked out by Eric (thought he was gay) Tyler (who told me he thought Edward was gay) and by Mike (who told me not to tell Jessica). I also got asked out by some freshman named Kyle who told me blue was his favorite color, which I thought was totally random until I realized he could see the top of my thong. I gave my thong a quick tug and gave young Kyle both my number and a wink. I loved this day-I loved being a bad-ass. I only prayed I could keep this momentum up when it came time to confront Edward. _

_I sigh and stare out the window. Mike continues with his off key singing, only "California Girls" has ended and he is now crooning to Kokomo. __Port-A-Prince I want to catch a glimpse__. Me too boyo's…anywhere but here._

_I sit quietly trying to recall the words of wisdom from Alice and Rosalie. They were so vague. "Just remember Bella, you already know what he has planned and all you have to do is be ready to either pre-empt his remarks before he makes them or answer in the exact opposite of what he'll expect you to say."_

_Huh?_

_I begged them to give me an example but they shook their respective heads and said no, trying to give me some garbage that spontaneity would be my key to survival in this Lifetime original movie I call my life. I look beseechingly at them but the only thing I get is a piece of advice from Blondie._

_"Bella, she said, as she looked at me directly in the eyes. The best advice I can give you at this point is to seduce him. "_

_Seduce him…__Edward__? Girl, please. The guy practically had an aneurysm and joined the church after we dry humped so I don't think a seduction is in our future. I try to explain this to Rose but she waves her royal hand in front of my face and sniffs._

_"Bella, Bella, Bella…" she intoned dramatically. "Seducing Edward is going to be a piece of cake, trust me." Alice giggled and nodded her head in agreement. I am truly puzzled and it clearly showed so they decided to enlighten me just before they departed._

_"First you look ah-may-zing!" Alice sings._

_"Second, you still smell like last night's frottage." Rose informs me with a smirk and a wink. Gross._

_"Third," Rose continues, "You will be with Mike Newton and man, will that crawl up Edward's ass. He'll want to screw you in front of poor Mike, just so he can mark his territory." (Not on a bet)._

_"But," I try to interject, "I thought the point was that I was going to break up with him and not to seduce him."_

_I am completely at a loss here. I have never been one to play games and here I am playing with fire __and__ a vampire. I suddenly wanted my mommy._

_"No, Bella…the point is to make Edward stay. At least…if you still love him," Alice said sadly._

_"__Love him__? Of course I still love him," I gasped. The thought of not loving Edward is not even in my lexicon…_

_"I will love him forever and will never love another, even if he does leave me." My eyes brimmed with tears and threatened to spill over._

_"Good," Alice sighed. "That's good. Now all you have to do is remember that you love him and that he loves you, and you need to follow Rose's advice."_

_"But, why do I need to seduce him in order to get him to stay?" I asked._

_"Why?" Rose's voice went suddenly dark and mysterious. "I'll tell you __why__. It's because, my little Miss Innocent who doesn't have a clue about her vampire boyfriend, Vampires . . ." (duh-duh-dah) ". . .__mate for life,__" Rosalie completed her speech as if she had just unveiled the shroud of Turin._

_Huh? I'd thought stupidly as I tried to grasp what she said. "What does that mean, __for life?" _

_Rose and Alice both burst into laughter and I'd felt my face redden as a result. Frankly the word __mate __gives me the creepy crawlies. Bizarre images of auburn haired, wild and madly fucking apes filled my mind. I had to stifle a hysterical giggle…because suddenly one of the auburn haired apes morphed into an image of a wild and madly fucking Edward Cullen; dressed in a gray pea coat and sporting vintage ray bans. My girlie parts began to tingle and throb…maybe the word mate isn't so bad after all._

_"Bella," Alice said, "Mating for life simply means that once a vampire opens themselves fully to love in every way possible, he or she can never leave their mates. Edward has already given his emotional love to you; if he wasn't so stubborn in his morality he would have made love to you ages ago. But you know that he was raised in very different times and back then men just didn't fuck the loves of their lives unless they were married. And even though Edward has lived through major changes in terms of the sexual revolution, his own sexuality is frozen forever in 1918."_

_"Alice!" I gasped. "Does this mean I have to marry him before we have sex? I'm only 18 for God's sake! I certainly don't want to get married yet."_

_The idea of marriage fills me with ambivalence. To be honest I do want to get married someday, even though Charlie and Renee didn't exactly set a good example in this particular department. But images of Edward getting down on one knee and declaring himself to me began to fill my romantic brain. I sighed. Yes, someday I would LOVE to be Mrs. Edward Cullen. But, not today._

_"Oh relax, Bella," yawned Rose, who was clearly bored with the whole virgin sex topic. "No one is getting married today. Once Edward sees you arriving home with Mike Newton and dressed like this, his Victorian values will be gone with the wind."_

_"And speaking of wind," Alice spoke gently, "We have to leave now." She grabbed me hard and gave me a quick hug. I started to tear up._

_"No, no crying Bella," Alice admonished, "If all goes as planned we should all be back within one or two weeks. I won't be able to contact you except through e-mail or texts, but I promise you I will be monitoring Edward's reactions._

_"Good luck Bella, I love you!" And then she and Rosalie (who gave me a quick, yet surprisingly gentle hug) are gone. The only thing left of them is the unmistakable fragrance of BAL a Versailles (Rose's signature perfume) and the fluttering of my curtains._

_"**Wouldn't it be nice if we were older then we wouldn't have to wait so long…or we could be married…and then we'd be happy….ohhhhhhhh…wouldn't it be niiiiiiice?"**_ Mike's serenading continues as we pull into my driveway.

It's a Friday afternoon and usually my spirits would be high as a kite, especially since Monday is a teacher's workday, so we have an extra long weekend to look forward to. But this is no ordinary Friday and I am dreading the days that will follow. I sigh with relief when I see that Edward is not here yet, but then my stomach is full of knots when I think of the scene that is about to played and I am suddenly wishing more than ever that I had something to calm me down. Oh God, I don't want to do this! I need something…anything. Suddenly I have a brilliant idea!

"Mike," I ask boldly, flipping my flat ironed hair over my shoulder, as I grab my Jansen book bag and open the passenger door. "Would you like to come in and have a beer?" Mike answers with a look of shock and a shit eating grin, and we enter my house and close the door. I know immediately that life as I know it will never be the same.

I head for the kitchen with an overly enthusiastic Mike, who is apparently so eager for a brew that he is stepping on the back of my chucks as I pluck out two Rainer cans out of the fridge. This action causes me to stumble and we both end up tripping and fall into a heap, laughing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor. My can of beer cracks open with a pop, and beer is spewing everywhere, soaking the front of my Fucks High Sweat Shirt and the front of Mike's jeans. We continue to laugh and giggle so hard that I think I might pee my pants. Mike tries to get up but ends up slipping on the wet floor and he falls back down, this time on top of me, his right hand is planted firmly on my left boob. We are a laughing and shrieking, heap of crazy mess.

"Isabella?" I hear a velvety voice break through my laughter and Mike's snorts. "Isabella!" my stomach suddenly lurches as I fully register that he is here. "What the _hell_ is going on here?"

My eyes make contact with a pair of golden eyes that are definitely NOT dead (Evidently Carlisle had a defibrillator in his little black bag)…no, they are flashing with questions and something else; _accusations?_ Oh hell no, I think. He is NOT coming over here to break up with me and then act all pissed off when he sees me with another guy. I shove the still giggling Mike off of me and struggle to my feet. The trouble is I step into the puddle of beer that is pooling on the kitchen floor and as I stand I slip and fall hard, on my ass. I look up quickly and see Edward standing there in all his Vampire glory, pinching the bridge of his nose like he is smelling shit, and I lose it, I really do. I burst out laughing once again. He is still wearing his suit jacket from last night, though I notice he has changed into a pair of jeans. He looks ridiculously out of place in my tiny kitchen.

"Nothing is going on here, Edward," I say through my giggles. "Mike just came in for a quick beer." Mike is now up on his feet but his face is no longer laughing when he sees Edward's flashing glare.

"Uh, Bella…" Mike says uncertainly, "Ummm, maybe I'd better get going." He scoops up his can of beer and hands it to me. I take it and calmly walk over to the fridge and turn to Edward. I meet his eyes and steady my breathing.

"No, Mike." I say, never taking my eyes off Edward's face. "You, do NOT need to leave, you just got here." Edward's nostrils flare dangerously. My eyes meet his in challenge. I smirk; game on Cullen.

"Oh for God sakes, Edward lighten up, it's only a beer."

I decide to provoke him a bit.

"Want one?" I ask nonchalantly.

Edward looks at me stunned, he obviously hadn't seen any of this coming. I feel a surge of courage and grab the un-opened can of beer, pop the top and chug the entire can down in one fell swoop. I swipe my mouth with the back of my hand and let out a burp that would be worthy of a teenage boy who just won a pie eating contest. Mike doubles over laughing.

"That was awesome Bella." Edward looks at him in a black rage. Mike's laughter is immediately extinguished. He looks petrified.

Edward looks at me in disgust and I look him square in the eyes and smirk. I really am perfecting the art of smirking; of course I've had a great teacher.

"Bella!" he roars."I don't know what's gotten into you this afternoon but for the love of all that's holy, please get yourself together and meet me outside. We need to talk and Mike _really_ needs to leave." As he says the last bit of his sentence I see him stalking menacingly towards the badly frightened Mike, who is now bolting through the kitchen and is heading for the door.

"Bella," I hear Mike squeak like a thirteen year old girl, "I'll see you Tuesday at school. Have a nice weekend!" And with that, Mike is gone. I can hear the tires of his Cheech and Chong mobile burning up the pavement as he peels down my street.

Edward turns slowly to me, his eyes now black as pitch and he says silkily, "I think you have some explaining to do, Isabella."

Huh? _I've_ got some explaining to do? Who are you…Ricky Ricardo? My God, Rose was right; he IS an arrogant prick! And what's up with calling me Isabella all of a sudden? Even though my head is full of questions, I say nothing but continue to stare him down. I have never felt more in control or powerful in my life.

We stand there for a full minute just staring each other down. "Fine!" I finally snap at him. "But first I have to change my shirt." I scoop up the beer cans, throw them in the trash and leave Edward in a cloud of alcoholic haze.

I run as fast as I can up the stairs and head for my room, but of course he is faster and is already there sitting on the edge of my bed, staring at me. He looks puzzled. I give him a quick look and decided to up the ante; I lift my arms up and pull off my damp Fucks High sweatshirt and toss it on the floor.

If he looked puzzled before, he now looks downright dumbfounded. I stand before him in my too tight jeans and my second skin tank top and stretch and yawn. When I do this I notice that my gel filled brassiere has pushed my boobs up and over the top of my tank. I catch Edward's face peering at me and I tug the tank down even more. He deserves it. Humph!

"Isabella," he growls, "what are you wearing? Did you have the audacity to wear this to school today? Good lord, you look like a _floozy_." He is glaring at me and is pinching the bridge of his nose in typical Edward fashion.

A floozy?

Edward, 1918 called. They want their prude back. Sheesh!

I am really struggling not to laugh at this but it's hard because I am overwhelmed with emotions, plus I guzzled a can of beer and I admit I am a bit of a light weight when it comes to alcohol. Instead I give him a dirty look and am about to say something pithy when my cell phone rings in my pocket. I glance at the name quickly…it's Kyle, the freshman blue thong lover. I am about to answer it when Edward grabs it out of my hand and flips it open and answers it himself.

"Hello?" I hear his voice dangerously low speaking into the phone. "Who is this? Kyle… who?" He gives me a filthy look. "I'm sorry, but Bella isn't available now. Or any time in the near future. No, this is Edward…her _boyfriend._" He punctuates his speech sharply and is glaring at me at the same time. He snaps the phone shut and tosses it on the bed.

"Edward…what the HELL?" I give him a piercing look. "That's my phone you're answering, NOT yours. You have a lot of ner…"

"Bella," he cuts me off before I have a chance to get my words out. "What on_ earth _is wrong with you today? And since when do you use such vulgar language? Honestly…I just cannot for the life of me comprehend where your mind is at; first the drinking and now the swearing. Not to mention your unseemly attire."

"Oh…is that a FACT?" I seethe between my teeth. "Well, maybe you don't really KNOW me then, Edward. Maybe, just maybe, you like the _idea_ of me better than the real me. Maybe you should …"

_Ring!_

I grab my cell phone off the bed so fast that even Vamp-man doesn't have time to stop me.

It's Tyler.

"Why helloooo Tyler," I purr. "How are you? Why no…I don't have any plans this evening. Six O'clock…hmmm…I'll have to…"

Just then the phone is torn out of my hand and is tossed to the wall. I watch it smash into smithereens and I look at Edward in disbelief. Rather than say anything I casually strut over to the debris and bend over from my waist pooching my rear end in the tightest jeans Levi ever wove, and scoop the pieces up and toss them into my trash can. Then I let out a little laugh and I hear him inhale sharply. Heh-heh…I really am getting under his skin. Well played Bella.

I kick my shoes off and bend over to pick up the hooker heels that Alice left by the side of my rocking chair. But before I have the chance to scoop my shoes up, I feel a sharp sting on my lower back. I look over my shoulder and see Edward scowling at me with a piece of hyacinth blue lace in his hand. Oh great, he snapped the lace off of my thong…I turn around and snatch the blue lacey ribbon out of his ridiculously elegant hands. Oh, that DOES it!

"Edward, WHAT do you think you are doing?" I ask him furiously. I march past him and sit down on the edge of the bed and proceed to put my slut puppies on. I am clearly pissed and boy does it feel great!

"WHAT. AM. I. DOING?"

Even though it's phrased as a question it is more of an accusation. Edward is no longer looking puzzled, no he looks ferocious and for the first time in our relationship I am afraid of him. I shrink back a bit on my bed. He is standing directly in front of me and our knees are so close they are practically touching. Before I have a chance to act, Edward leaps on top of me and his arms form a cage over me. I look up at his impossibly beautiful face that is now in full hissing vampire mode, and gasp. The electric current that I felt between us last night is back, but this time it feels like Dr. Frankenstein pulled the lever. We are both jolted by the shock and the waves of lust that follow it. My fear is gone and is replaced by desire. I feel the wetness seep into my scanty panties. Edward's face is dangerously close; I can smell his cool breath and it is pure heaven, but his eyes are pure T hell. I reach up suddenly and grab his hair and pull his mouth down on mine and kiss him hard.

My action has caught him off guard and he moans deeply into my mouth and returns my kiss passionately. He settles down on top of me, using one hand to support himself on the bed so he doesn't crush me with his weight. His other hand is in my hair, pressing my face closer to his. I moan loudly, and my hands seem to have a will of their own and they begin to travel down his backside. They snake their way under his jacket and pull out the tails of his dress shirt. I can't believe the direction they take as they drop further down and start to stroke Edward's perfectly sculptured ass. Oh my God, I feel like I have died and gone to ass heaven. Suddenly Rosalie's words come back to me unbidden…"_remember Bella…if you want Edward to stay, you have to seduce him. Seduce him Bella… Seduce him…_Every nerve in my body is on fire and…

"Bella, STOP!"

I snap open my eyes and see the look of horror and shame cross his perfect features. My eyes begin to fill with tears as I realize that nothing has changed and we are going to have a repeat performance of last night and that he is here to break up with me and that I will be left with nothing more than a broken thong and a broken heart.

"Get…get…_off of me_!" I choke at him, swallowing my tears. I desperately try to regain my inner bitch who has apparently run off and is now cowering in the corner. I twirl my invisible lasso and snag her ass back; no way am I going into this scenario solo.

Edward jumps off of me and quickly straightens himself out. He removes his stupid jacket and tucks his shirt back in his trousers. He lays the jacket on the chair and turns to me then, his eyes are still dark and he is struggling to keep his breathing under control. Eventually he turns to me with a steely glare.

"Bella, we need to talk. I came here today to tell you something important." His face looks pained and I can already hear the departure in his words.

I cut him off with a look and an interruption. _Let's do this thing_, my inner bitch cries! I give him a look that I hope throws daggers at his ridiculously handsome face.

"Fine!" I spit out.

He looks at me startled; I have never really yelled at him before. I look back at him with an appraising eye. Yes, he has definitely lost his cool and as much as I dread the inevitable confrontation, I know it is now or never. I say a silent prayer to whatever god may be listening and take a deep cleansing breath.

"Let's take _this_ outside." With that said, I leap off the bed and march down the stairs with my head held high and my kitten heels clacking.

I open the front door with a bang and head out towards the woods.

_Whatever you do Bella; do NOT let him take you into the woods_. Alice's words are ringing in my ear but I ignore them and continue to walk down the narrow path as fast as my ridiculous shoes will allow.

Besides, HE is NOT taking me into the woods.

I am taking HIM.


	5. Chapter 5: Into the Woods

Chapter 5

Into the woods

I stop abruptly and turn around to see Edward right on my heels. He stops too and opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off before he has the chance.

"Edward," I begin. I swallow audibly and take another deep cleansing breath. The woods are dank and mossy and the earthiness gives me a courage I didn't know I had.

"Edward…Ithinkweshouldbreakup…"

I choke out the words before I give myself time to think about it. (Pre-empt his ass before he has the chance to speak. Thank you, Rosalie). I look at him pointedly and pray that this look is free of the pain that I am desperately holding at bay.

Edward says nothing at first, though the shock on his handsome face is evident.

_"What?"_ he sputters. I notice his Adams apple is bobbing just a bit. _Good._

He clears his throat and I see his beautiful features begin to contort. Hah, even better. Humph!

"What do you mean Bella?"

He is stammering now and my heart is pounding so loud that I am afraid I'm going to have a heart attack. My pretence to act nonchalant is gone. I love him _so much _and I simply can't bear to see him suffer, even though I know that he is planning to end us himself. I see his eyes fill with pain and I know that I will not be able to go through with this whole farce.

"Isn't this the whole point of you taking me out here?"

My voice is now shaking and my pulse is starting to race. I take another deep breath and huff it out loudly. _You can do this,_ my inner bitch cries.

"Let's just cut the crap, Edward," I say, lifting my eyes to meet his." I know that's what you have planned. I know you're leaving me."

He doesn't deny it although the way he is looking at me now I am certain he is frantically trying to figure out how I know about his plan.

"_Alice,"_ he states flatly. I can tell by the look on his face that he is clearly pissed.

Not wanting to get poor Alice in trouble I pull a lie out of my ass. I have no idea where it came from but I don't question it at all. Maybe my inner bitch supplied it, who knows?

"No," I say firmly. "NOT Alice. I heard Mrs. Cope talking about transferring your family's records when I was in the Guidance Department this morning."

It must be a plausible lie because he looks at me stricken.

"Bella, I think it's for the best that we leave Forks. This situation between us has gotten completely of control. I just can't do this anymore. I've spoken to my family and they are all in agreement."

"Bullshit," I say leveling my eyes at him.

"Pardon me?" he says, shocked.

"You heard me Edward. I said _bullshit_. Nobody in your family feels that way, only you. And I _know_ the real reason why you're leaving."

"You do?" he asks condescendingly. "And what pray tell would that be?"

"It's because you're afraid for my soul."

He gives me a strange look and shakes his head vehemently.

This isn't about your soul, Bella."

"Oh _REALLY_? Then what _pray tell_ _is_ it about then, huh? Please enlighten me," I say, my voice now dripping with sarcasm.

I give him a hard look and raise one eyebrow. I feel my lip curl into an Edward worthy smirk. He looks puzzled and off his guard, but only for a split second. I watch his eyes cast down briefly and then rise again with a hardened gleam.

"I am not a _human man_ Bella and I never will be. It was ridiculous to have even entertained the idea that you and I could ever have entered into any kind of romantic relationship. Humans are food to us Bella. _Food"_... His voice softens for a moment before he continues. I hold my breath as I wait for the fulfillment of Alice's prophecy.

"What we shared was very special, and of course, I'll always love you in a way….but last night I realized that I never should have let it go this far."

His face closes up and I see his eyes go blank. His expression becomes hard and cold, and even though I know what's about to happen my heart clenches and my breathing suddenly becomes erratic.

He clenches his jaw hard and locks his cold eyes on mine.

And THIS is it.

My heart stands still as he utters his prophesied words.

**"**_**You're just not good for me, Bella."**_

His words are definitive and my body repels them like a slap to the face. And for a second I _am_ that girl in Alice's vision. I really am. I hear his words and I feel the crack in my chest returning, I can barely breathe. My eyes fill with tears and I stumble slightly backwards. My world feels like it's spun of its axis. I feel sick, right down to my toes. But when the back of my legs touches a tree I am abruptly jolted out of my state of mind. I realize then that a drastic situation calls for drastic measures. I look at him, and take a deep breath and I say the following words to him without thinking twice.

"You know what Edward, I completely agree. Last night was a _horrible_ experience, and I'm not just talking about Jasper swiping at me, I am talking about ALL of it." I see his chin quiver ever so slightly and then I see his jaw clench as if to quell it. My own chest is now heaving, but the words are pouring out of me like vomit.

"_You…you_… took me home and kissed me in front of my father's house. You…you…SEXED me up all over my truck. You tore my dress and my only decent bra, and then when you left me you made me do the walk of shame into my father's house and you never said a word. Not one damn word. No…that's not true…you said _goodbye_. You said GOOD BYE. Who does that?"

By this point I am shaking and my voice lowers but I summon the strength to look deep into his eyes and find the courage to continue.

"You're right Edward, I don't belong in your world, and you sure as _shit_ don't belong in MINE."

"I loved you with every fiber of my being, and you want to throw it all away. Well guess what? That's _fine_. You don't even KNOW what love is. I don't think you ever did. I honestly think that you WERE changed too soon, just like Esme said, before your _male hormones_ kicked in."

"I have laid my heart bare to you countless times and what do I get in return? I get _nothing_. No, that's not exactly true. I get a stupid cowardly vampire who plans to trot me in the woods and tell me that I'm not good enough for him."

"Well, guess what Edward?" I am in a fine temper now and although the tears are pouring forth steadily they are bitter and full of anger.

**"**_**YOU**_** are not good enough for **_**ME**_**!"**

I see his face begin to crumble at these words but I carry on like a soldier on a mission. This may be the last opportunity I ever have to tell him what I really think. And even though I am not at all convinced that this will save our relationship, I am not ready to go down without a fight. I pause for just a moment as I try to find my words. He opens his mouth as if to say something but he remains speechless. This gives me the courage to continue.

"When I first met you Edward, I thought you were different from other guys. But you know what Edward, you're NOT. You're just as dumb as the rest of them, you really are. Except, you know what? It's worse, because they at least really ARE just silly hormonal teenage boys who don't have a clue. But you on the other hand (at this point I put my finger out and poke him hard on his marble chest), YOU are a bitter old man AND a stupid vampire."

By now I am so wound up that I do something I literally NEVER thought I'd do in a million years. Without forethought I lunge at Edward and grab him by his shirt collar and pull him hard towards me. Honestly he must be as shocked as I am in this moment because he offers me no resistance, and before I know what I am doing I rub my entire body along the length of him and press my mouth angrily on his. With a smack and a pop I release him, but not before I snake a hand over his crotch and squeeze him hard. His mouth gapes open wide but no sound comes out.

I stand back and look him straight in the eyes and say "Enjoy your lonely miserable existence. Now if you'll excuse me I have a date tonight. And just so there's no confusion, you are NOT my boyfriend anymore."

And with these words I whirl away from him and huff off down the path with my damn hooker heels digging in the soft earth. I am muttering and sputtering things like "stupid Vampire" and "dumb ass". I am pissed and angry but I no longer feel sad or confused.

I feel victorious.

**Authors Note: I know this was a VERY short chapter. However, I believe that it was indeed short, simple, and to the point.**

**Reviewers get one pair of hooker heels and a set of steel balls from Bella.**

**Next Chapter...Edward's POV!**


	6. Chapter 6: In Which I find My Voice

Chapter 6

In which I find my voice

EPOV

I stand here with my stupid vampire mouth literally agape and watch her toddle down the path in those ridiculous heels. _Alice_…there is no doubt in my mind now who's doing this is. That evil meddling little pixie…and from the cloud of perfume that permeates the Washington forest in Bella's wake, Rosalie is involved too…I'd know that particular smell anywhere…BAL a Versailles; it's the only fragrance she ever wears.

Slowly I close my mouth and pinch the bridge of my nose…I desperately need to clear my mind.

_What the deuces just happened here?_

In my ninety odd years as a vampire I have never found myself in such a drama. Even though I have always known that vampires invoke and inspire epic novels of passion and lust and abject despair, I'd never found myself in any of those. NEVER. Honestly, I was just plain old boring Edward Cullen…a moody, broody, introverted seventeen year old (plus some change) guy…who happens to be an immortal, blood craving parasite. I never saw myself as a romantic tortured soul…yet as I stand here in the woods, I contemplate the last seven months, and in particular the past twenty four hours… and I realize, that's exactly what I am: _a love sick fool_. And, apparently, a stupid one at that. I let out a frustrated sigh.

Before I met Bella I was miserably lonely; even though I didn't realize it at the time. My entire existence was solitary. True, I was surrounded by people who loved each other. They offered me companionship, friendship, and were for all intents and purposes, my family. I loved them all; they loved me in return. But they all had each other and I had my piano and my journals. Bella is right. I am a bitter and lonely old man. _Was_…I silently corrected…until I met _her_.

_Bella_…I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on her. She was sitting in the cafeteria chatting away with the verbose and inane Jessica Stanley. I was walking behind my siblings and I entered the lunch room without a second thought. It's true when they say that time stands still…because it did for me on that cold and rainy January day…a day which began like so many others. A day that should have been no different than the countless days of my dull and ridiculous life, and yet as my eyes gazed upon this small and seemingly insignificant girl, I knew in a moment that everything was about to change.

It wasn't until later, when she entered my biology class that I realized just how life changing this event would be. As Bella walked past the air vent two things happened at once. First, I realized in my dull and vacant mind that despite the fact that she had been speaking to Mr. Banner, I had never heard her thoughts. This was a first for me…I am a mind reader. Mind reading for me is what breathing is to humans…I do it instinctively and without thought or purpose. Yet this tiny dark haired girl's thoughts were shuttered to me; I heard nothing. The second thing that happened was the most bizarre of all, and of the two it was without a doubt the darkest and most explosive moment of my so called life. As Bella walked past the air vent her scent slammed into me like a runaway freight train. I was shoved physically back in my seat by the force of it. Her blood…the sweetest and most aromatic fragrance I had ever had the misfortune to inhale assaulted my senses. Dear God…it smelled of freesia and lavender and something else…strawberries. I'd like to say it was a heavenly aroma, but in all honesty it had been anything but that; it was a burning, hideous, and hellish smell. I had never wanted to drink another human's blood so badly in all my 108 years on this earth. It was all I could do not to sink my sharp teeth into the pale blue vein that pulsed delicately behind her left ear. My throat was on fire and I'd frantically tried to think of how I could kill her right then and there without causing a huge scene. I'd known in my heart that my family would forgive me. Just as I was about to act on my instincts…she sat down next to me and gave me a timid smile. I looked briefly into those rich brown eyes and though I couldn't read her mind, I swear in that moment I was looking into her soul. I knew then that I could never kill this beautiful creature and even though I didn't realize it quite yet…on some level…deep inside my immortal self…I fell in love.

Vampires rarely experience change and when we do it is permanent and forever. When a vampire falls in love he or she will always be thus. When I fell in love with Isabella Swan it was sudden and complete. I would never love another.

_Love_. I had never been in love before…no…not in my seventeen years as a human boy and certainly never in the cold and endless years that followed. I didn't know how to deal with this newly discovered emotion; I don't know how to handle it now. But back then I did the only thing I knew how to do; I ran.

Oh yes, I ran all right. I ran all the way to Alaska to my extended family. The Denali's are another coven of vampires with the same diet and desire to form a family unit such as ours. There I sought friendship and comfort and warmth. But I found I was restless and shaken. Tanya (one of the three Denali sisters) was especially interested in "comforting me." When her idea of comfort extended to touching and attempting to kiss me, I realized that it wasn't her arms I wanted to wrap myself in or her mouth my own frantically sought. No, who was I joshing? Every time Tanya made an advance towards me I only saw brown. Brown hair, long and lush, and brown eyes so deep I wanted to sink into their abyss and never surface. I wanted to drown myself in brown. I lasted one week in Alaska.

Yes, I left Alaska and returned to my family….and to Bella.

_Bella_… After I returned to Forks High, I decided that I had to get to know her. And so I did. At first it was casual conversations that centered on our Biology class (we were lab partners, after all). But fate kept throwing us together, literally. Soon after my return to Forks, Bella was nearly plowed under by an out of control van that skidded on ice in the school parking lot. If I hadn't have been there to intervene, she would be curling her toes and pushing up the proverbial daisies at this very moment. But I HAD been there; I saw the van hurtling towards her and so without thinking I used my super vampire speed, knocked her out of the way of certain death, and stopped the van with my bare hands. Bella lay on the ground as still as death and I thought I'd lost her…that I'd been too late. But then she opened those warm eyes and my dead heart nearly jump started itself. I prayed that she hadn't seen me fly across the lot…but of course, as soon as she opened her eyes, she opened her mouth… and I knew then that my cloak and dagger had been revealed. Still, though she persisted in her almost constant barrage of questions, I said nothing. I couldn't put my family in danger by exposing myself to her, yet for the first time in my existence, I desperately wanted to do so. I wanted…no…NEEDED, Bella Swan to KNOW me.

A week later I followed her and her girlfriends to Port Angeles where they spent the afternoon shopping for Prom gowns. I knew it was wrong for me to spy on her, but I had the edgy feeling that I needed to be there; every instinct in my body screamed for me to be there, and I succumbed to these feelings. Thank God for that, because as twilight approached Bella was in grave peril; a man with a long history of killings had selected her as his next prey. I nearly went insane in my haste to save her from his evil clutches, and I made it in my Volvo with only seconds to spare. This event was the catalyst that brought me with certainty into Bella Swan's life. The gig was up; she saw through my human façade as if it was made of glass.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Bella came to know the real me. She was smart – much smarter than me. Insightful, really. Bella was definitely her father's daughter; she was able to gather evidence and put clues together. Within a short period of time Bella had the mystery of Edward Cullen figured out better than Sherlock Holmes ever could.

Bella Swan took me into the woods behind Forks High School and straight out asked me if I was a vampire. No…that's wrong…she didn't ask me. She TOLD me. If I was shocked by her proclamation, I was stunned by her acceptance. That was the day we knew we had fallen in love with each other. It was the day that I, Edward the Morose Cullen, came to life.

I will never forget the beauty of that day, as we lay side by side in the meadow. I can still hear the cry of the loon that sat in the tree above us, and smell the dank dark earth on which we laid. She was the epitome of all that was lovely and good. Her dark hair surrounded us both like a curtain, and her porcelain skin was milky against the blue bachelor buttons and other wild flowers. I fell in love with the color blue that day, too. If I had my way, I would surround Bella in blue every day of forever.

I'd like to say that after that day, Bella and I were happy in our mutual love and give you our "happily ever after" story. But, the course of true love is never as easy as the poets say. What with me being a vampire and all…

I mean, just the physical act of kissing put my love at risk. But those plump inviting lips beckoned me that day in the meadow, and I could not resist. And God help me…I didn't want to resist. I had no idea what I was doing of course. Even though I was a century old and had witnessed every possible and conceivable act of love, lust, and sex in the minds of nearly every human I'd ever encountered, I was still in unchartered territory when it came to my personal experience. No book, no song, no human mind could have prepared me for the unbelievable sensuality of the act of kissing the woman I loved. The moment I pressed my mouth on hers my mind went numb and I was consumed with desire. The blood lust I fought to control while in her presence was a cake walk compared to the sexual lust that tore through my loins. But my lust was eclipsed by Bella's desire. Her arousal upon feeling my lips on hers was immediate and overwhelming. And God help me, I loved it. I loved when she pressed her lithe frame against my cold chest. I adored the way she sighed into my mouth…the way her hands wove into my hair and pulled it hard. But as the venom pooled in my mouth and my arousal threatened to bust the denim of my jeans, I knew I had to resist. I couldn't hurt her.

And yet now as I look back over the past year, I realize that's all I have done…hurt her… over and over again…

Hell's teeth! I can't DO this anymore! As usual my inner musings have taken over and all I am able to do is drown in memories and doubts. Memories of Bella…kissing…sleeping…reading…sighing…laughing with me…laughing at me…crying out my name…crying over me…

Shit…I am SO not worth it.

I am not a human man, but I am a MAN. I am a man who lost his life and his will to live, back in 1918. I am a vampire who hasn't a clue as to what love really is, even though I am and have been in LOVE…real…warm and honest LOVE for months now. But yet the other night…the night of her eighteenth birthday…Oh God, forgive me…I nearly lost her. Yes…I nearly lost the love of my life…the love of my unworthy and monstrous existence. And it was all over a fucking little paper cut. Jesus Christ.

A paper cut.

When her first tiny little drop of blood plopped on to the floor I nearly lost my mind. The smell of it was so overwhelming; it was all I could do not to sink my razor sharp teeth into her warm pulsing throat. She had been so excited…She looked at the tickets; her present from Carlisle and Esme, and her eyes were shining like stars. But as I quickly gathered my own wits about me I heard Jasper hiss. I knew in a nanosecond that my Bella was in danger and without thought I flipped her over my shoulder and tossed her like yesterday's garbage into the glass topped table. I hadn't even heard her crash.

It wasn't until I attacked Jasper with my bare hands and sent him hurtling into my fucking piano that I realized I had hurt her. I had heard a gasp and a small noise. I whipped around to see my sisters and Emmett poised to attack and hissing like the creatures of night that they are. There lay my sweet girl, crumpled and bleeding on the floor. Her arm was covered in glass and blood.

Oddly enough, I wasn't filled with venomous desire. No, I was filled with fear and confusion. I turned to Carlisle with pleading eyes but he was already by Bella's side holding up his hand and saying "stop." Was he speaking to me? Was he speaking to them? Or was he speaking to the ungodly situation? I believe he was speaking to all. Regardless, in that moment, I felt for the first time since 1918 like a seventeen year old boy. I honestly didn't know what to do. I saw a look of fear and disappointment cloud Bella's features and I was ashamed. I had done the one thing I had promised myself that I would never do to her in a million years. I had hurt her. Worst still, I had _failed _her.

Ever since that cloudless and arid night in that Phoenix ballet studio, I had known that a time would come when I would have to leave Bella. I should have left her then. But later, after I had killed James and turned him to dust, I came to Bella where she lay as still as death in the hospital. I tried then to leave her, really…I did try. But when she woke up and I told her of my intent she had started to cry and to plead and to beg. She hadn't needed to get beyond the first unshed tear; I was going nowhere. She owned me then. She owns me now.

So we returned to our little town in Washington State: Bella with her broken leg and me with my broken spirit. And slowly we began to mend. We shared a blissful and nearly carefree summer; we grew closer and more in love with each passing day. We returned to high school just a few short weeks ago and all had been going so well…until last night.

After Carlisle sewed her wound up, I knew what I had to do. I had to force my family to leave and somehow, some way, I had to find the courage to leave her. I was determined to keep her safe – safe from me.

The ride back to her house was quiet and strained. I knew she was going to ask me to come to her room to talk. I couldn't do it though. I knew if I came to her room it would be my undoing. So when we pulled into her drive way in that beast of metal and rubber that she calls a truck, I was resolved to head back home without so much as a word, let alone a touch. I had already folded into myself; my entire being was encased in a body of stone. I was an island unto myself. It was my defense mechanism kicking in; I had been able to do this to perfection for nearly a century.

But then, just as I was about to leave, she asked me to kiss her. I didn't want to but, God forgive me, when she said _please_, I lost it. And then when her lips touched mine an electric spark flashed between us; the jolt of it sent me reeling…I was on fire.

I honestly don't know what came over me. I remember grabbing her and pinning her against the truck; her fragile body was like molten heat and I thawed; no, I _burned_, under her touch. Our kisses were nothing like the innocent and chaste kisses of the past; no these were red hot and searing kisses of passion and flaming desire. The lust I felt for her was overwhelming; I couldn't seem to control myself. I tore open the bodice of her dress and her bra. I rained kisses all over her heated flesh. Her collarbones, her throat, her neck her breasts….Oh, God…her breasts!

Until last night I had never touched a woman intimately before; I know that sounds absurd, but it is the truth. Regardless of my inexperience, my ancient body seemed to know what to do. My mouth sought her nipples and found them. Sweet Jesus…it was like I had finally found heaven. I knew I should have been gentle; I knew Bella was innocent…but my body was possessed and I found I could not help myself. My arousal was so engorged that I thought I would explode without even a whisper of a touch; yet I found myself grinding my erection into her heated core.

In my entire existence I have never felt the feelings, both emotional and physical, that I felt last night. I was consumed with need, desire, and want. Want…want Bella…want her NOW. I remember grinding myself into her repeatedly – growling and panting like the beast that I am. I was completely out of control yet there was no bloodlust, only wanton passion. The waves of desire were emanating between our bodies and I was lost in its sea. I was gasping and purring; sounds that I swear I had never made before were pouring out of me like an uncapped spigot. I pressed her against the hood of the truck and wrapped her legs around my hips. I circled my arousal hard into her heat and I felt her wetness seeping through her panties and through the heavy wool of my trousers. Christ…I could SMELL her response and the scent of this filled my senses until I thought I would explode.

And then I did.

Jesus jumped up Christ on a Chariot…I climaxed in my trousers just like a hormone infused and overly enthused seventeen year old chap. Before I even had a chance to process this thought in my addled vampire mind, I felt Bella's release launch off like a nuclear missile. I was instantly hard again. But before I knew what to do or how to respond I heard her say "Ow" and watched her slide helplessly down the side of her truck and onto the ground, her dress torn and her breasts exposed.

What the blazes had just happened here?

Oh my God….I had attacked her! I was no better than the filthy deviants I sought to protect her from and only one step away from the rapists I drained in an effort to protect society from many years ago. I was a monster – a soulless despicable, monster. I had never felt so ashamed.

I left Bella and ran as fast as I could back home; I was a panting nervous bundle of nerves. As Bella would say, I was a basket case. When I arrived at home, I discovered much to my relief and dismay, that Jasper had already left and the others were in the living room picking up and disposing the remains of the ill fated party items. As soon as they saw my face they knew the inevitable was about to occur. Alice apparently had a vision after I took Bella home, and plans for us to leave the next day were already set in motion. It was decided that I would stay to settle my affairs with Bella and that they would leave with Carlisle for an extended medical sabbatical abroad. I informed them that I was going to put myself on a self imposed exile to try to come to terms with the recent turn of events. I didn't know where Jasper was, and frankly I didn't care. I loved my brother but I couldn't deal with him now.

Thinking back, I should have known that it was all too easy; there was no way on earth that Alice would have agreed to any of this without a battle. But she was very quiet last night and when she timidly knocked on my bedroom door it was only to hug me and tell me that in spite of everything she loved me and prayed that I would return to our family in the near future. When she arrived I had already packed up more than half of my possessions and was writing notes about what I wanted to go into storage. This was one of the few perks about being a vampire: the ability to concentrate, multi task, and the speed in which we could expedite our arrangements. By four o'clock this morning I was done with my tasks and was en-route to the border of Canada for a final hunt before my visit with Bella.

Everything was going according to my plans until I found myself at Bella's house. To say I was nervous was an understatement of epic proportions. But nothing on earth could have prepared me for the emotions that raged forth when I discovered her in the kitchen with that ass hat Mike Newton.

When I entered her house and found them lying on top of each other I was filled with a hatred so consuming that it was all I could do to not murder him right then and there. His filthy hands were on top of Bella's breasts and she was laughing and giggling and was so carefree; I had never seen her thus. It sickened me to think that she could be free of the strains of last night when I was absolutely tortured. But when she struggled to get up and then the way she glared at me; I was stunned. She didn't even look like my Bella. Her hair was straight and glossy and she had some kind of smoky eye makeup on that made her eyes look like a doe's. And that outfit…what the hell was that all about? Her jeans hugged her slender curves and some kind of a lacy blue frothy thing was peeking out just over the top of her pants. It looked like the kind of thing my sisters wore…dear Lord in heaven; it was a _thong_! The front of her shirt was soaked through and I saw that she had finally given in to Jessica's request to fill in her Fuks High sweat shirt with the letter C. This was completely out of character for my girl.

And then later, when I met her in her room and she pulled off that sopping, disgraceful sweatshirt, I nearly lost my mind; she had on a bra in a shade of heavenly blue, the likes of which I had never seen her wear before. And her attitude! God, who knew she could be so…feisty? But when she received that phone call from that young pup, Kyle, I DID lose it. I spoke to him like the dog he was and tossed the phone away like I had been touching excrement. No sooner had that little debacle concluded, when the phone rang again. Bella snatched it off the bed before my vampire brain caught up with my reflexes. This was a first in all of my existence! I was trying vainly to process this new and perplexing development, when I realized she was chatting away flirtatiously with that Nancy-boy, Tyler Crowley, who had the audacity to call MY Bella, presumably to ask her out this evening. This time I took her cell phone and smashed it to the wall. I was absolutely enraged, which was further exacerbated by her laughter. She…she…mocked me! And Bella was such a cool little minx; walking over causally to the bed and putting on some kind of absurd shoes that looked like they had once covered the feet of a whorehouse madam. I was incensed! I remember leaning over her on that bed and I was in full vampire and enraged boyfriend mode. I wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled. But then as it happened the night before, the rage was replaced with a lust so thick that you could literally cut it with a knife. She grabbed hold of my hair and pulled me towards her and I found myself once again out of control with passion and desire. I nearly took her then, but when she snaked her hands into my drawers and I felt her hot little hands on my backside I knew I had to end this madness.

Still, I was unprepared for the events that followed. I couldn't believe it when she practically marched me into the woods behind her father's house and told me off. And boy did she ever tell me off; I have never been so well put in my place. My god, she was magnificent! She called me a stupid vampire and a dumbass. She called me a coward. And then, just as she was turning away to leave me she grabbed me and kissed me hard and then…she, she…_GROPED_ me! Honestly, I have never been so insanely aroused in my existence. And finally she left me, with my stupid cowardly vampire mouth agape.

My mouth is closed now and though I don't really need to breathe, I couldn't muster the strength to try even if I needed to do so in order to survive. My chest is hollowed and I feel as if a bomb had detonated and left me with a deep and cavernous hole. I have never felt so bereft or so empty inside.

What the hell am I doing? I LOVE this woman, and in spite of my lack of humanity, she loves ME. She is the only human I have ever known since my transformation who I have let in and revealed myself to… the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I know I should leave now because it is the right thing to do; she needs to have a normal life and she deserves so much better than the likes of me. But then I realize that this is all I ever do: when the going gets rough, I run away. I am tired of running, I am exhausted beyond words, and I honestly don't know what to do…but I know one thing for certain; I do not want to do it alone anymore.

And now I find myself in unfamiliar territory. My plans to leave her have been way sided by my two meddling and plotting sisters. I have no plan, I have no girlfriend, and I have no clue. I sigh and decide that I am truly a dumbass and begin my own walk of shame towards Bella's house. For in this moment I know that in spite of everything that has transpired in the past twenty four hours, she is the only one who will help me find my way.


	7. Chapter 7: Broken Thong and Broken Dream

**Beta'd by Coleen561**

**Thank You, Girl!**

Chapter 7

Broken thong & broken heart

BPOV

My eyes open up slowly… _very slowly_. Where am I? I blink the clouds out of my eyes and they began to adjust to my surroundings. I see the soft light of my Chinese lantern and look down at my purple comforter. Home…I am back in my bedroom. Thank God. I notice that it's getting dark outside and someone has left a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water on my night stand. My head is pounding and my arm is killing me. I glance down and gasp…I am practically naked save for the bra and the torn thong. What the hell? And then I remember; the woods, the talk, Edward…

After I returned home from our agonized parting in the woods, I collapsed against the door and began to shake all over. Yes, when I left him standing there looking like he had just been struck blind, deaf, and dumb, I admit that I was feeling pretty damn good. After all, it isn't every day that a girl actually finds the exact words she needs in such a dramatic and life altering situation, is it? I mean, really, I think it was the first time in my life that I actually said what I wanted to say; when I needed to say it. Yeah…I know this sounds a bit convoluted, but I am sure if you're a girl and you're reading this you know exactly what I'm talking about. (Uh huh…that's what I thought)! With girls we always seem to be a day late and a dollar short when it comes to finding the right words to say when we need them most. It's only after we return from the fight with our girl friends or the break up with our boyfriends, that we find the perfect words to say, the right gestures to make, and the inflections that will hopefully slay them.

But once I was home the self doubts and the reality of the situation began to set in. Oh my god, I'd thought; he is gone.

_Gone…_

My eyes filled with tears and I began to breathe in short rapid beats…I started hyperventilating. I couldn't catch my breath. I was struggling and gasping and wheezing. My eyes began to dot and I clawed at the kitchen counter top doing my best to maintain my balance, but then my slippery little whore heels slid on a puddle of wet goo on the floor and I found myself falling - falling into the black and blissful abyss.

I have no memory after I collapsed on the kitchen floor, so I am a bit shocked to find myself lying here in my bed. I blink my eyes and rub them hard and realize that I must have had the wherewithal to put myself here…unless? Oh God, NO…please Lord, tell me _Charlie_ didn't find me there when he came home!

Just then my cell phone rings.

Wait! _What?_ My cell phone has been destroyed by my overly possessive ex-boyfriend, who apparently has both commitment _and _anger management issues. Maybe I should contact Dr. Phil for advice? I bet he'd have a field day with this one. Though I seriously doubt that the good doctor has ever had to deal with the likes of Edward Cullen's particular problems before…

Ring!

Huh…the ringing is coming from my nightstand drawer. I reach over and pull it open, only to find an exact replica of my deceased phone ringing and vibrating in its depths. There is a note attached to it but I pull it off and set it to the side so I can answer the call before it stops ringing.

I glance quickly at the number; it's Charlie. That means he's not at home; thank you, Jesus!

"Hello?" I mumble into the phone, my voice is froggy and my throat hurts.

"Hey Bells…just checking in with you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not coming home tonight…Billy invited a bunch of us guys over to the Res to watch the big game tonight and you know…we all just want to kick back and chill out." (This is guy code for get drunk.) "Anyway," he continues, "I wondered if you'd be okay with this. Maybe you can spend the night with Alice?" His voice trails off…

"Okay Dad, yeah, that'd be fine. I was thinking of going over there tonight anyway," I lied. I clear the frog out of my throat and wish him a good night. I feel the loneliness that is twilight, as the hour of darkness begins to set in. I decide right then that I had better get used to it. A large lump appears in my throat and my eyes start to fill with tears. OH, Alice! If only she really WERE here to spend the night with. God I need to talk to her right now. I glance down at the note and pick it up; it's from Alice!

_Dearest Bella,_

_If you're reading this letter, then it must mean that my vision of Edward destroying your phone has come to pass. I am so sorry for all the hurt and anger that I know you must be going through right now; however, if my vision is accurate, I believe that you and Edward will have your Happily Ever After. You both deserve to be happy!_

_Bella, please don't be too harsh with Edward; remember he has never been in love before and is all mixed up inside. He is hurt and lost and confused. _

_Love him Bella. When he returns to you, and he will (trust me!), he is going to need you to be patient and understanding. If you can succeed in doing this, then I predict my absence from you will be much shorter than I originally planned. _

_Till then, enjoy your new phone and look for texts from me…_

_Much love,_

_Alice_

_PS: Rose wants me to remind you (and I quote) "Seduce him Bella…if anyone needs to get laid, it is Edward A. Cullen. That moody bastard really needs a good, hard…" Well, you get the idea…Alice_

After I read the letter twice, I lay it back in the drawer carefully. I think about her words and I wonder if her vision included the show down in the woods; the way I spoke to Edward and the way I left him standing there with his stupid vampire mouth agape. I wonder how long he stood there, and where he is now. I hadn't heard him come back for his Volvo, though come to think of it I haven't heard anything because apparently I had passed out cold when I returned from the woods.

Finally, I yawn and gingerly crawl out of my bed. I glance quickly at my alarm clock; it's just after 5:00 PM. I stretch my arms up and let out another big yawn, and as I do I hear a velvet voice call out to me from the opposite side of my bedroom.

"Bella?"

"Ahhh!" I scream a high pitched shriek and leap back into my bed and dive for cover. I am shaking and confused. Oh my God! What the _hell _is he doing back here? I thought he _left_. I think of Alice's note and I grimace; couldn't she have been a little more precise with her timetable of events? A little warning would have been appreciated here. I peak my head out of the covers and look over in the direction of where I heard his voice. He is sitting in my rocking chair, all 6 feet two inches of long legs stretched out in front of him like he hasn't a care in the world.

"What are you still doing here, Edward? I thought you left…" I finally manage to mumble from under my covers. I cannot seem to find the courage to look at him.

He doesn't speak for a long time, and it is so silent in my room that I swear I can hear the kitchen clock that is downstairs ticking the seconds away.

"No," I hear him sigh after what seems like forever. "I haven't…. I couldn't…" his voice trails off. I hear him sigh again, heavily. The scent of his breath fills my room. I pull the covers off my head and sit up. The silence between us continues to grow and it is almost deafening; I can't take it anymore.

"What do you mean, you _couldn't_?" I finally ask with a slightly shaky voice. I am so confused. I thought he had already left me, and now he is here in my room. Alice hadn't prepared me for THIS. My mind is going in a million different directions at once. Has he really changed his mind? No I think he's still going to leave me; he just wants to have his say. Oh _God,_ I cannot believe the torture; why can't he just go already? Honestly, I am just too tired to deal with this right now. I am emotionally exhausted and physically drained. The events of the past 24 hours have taken their toll on me and I lie back down on the bed and close my eyes, waiting for him to speak. After what seems like hours, he finally does.

"Bella, I need to talk to you. About last night…about today…_"_ he begins. His beautiful voice is so musical that I am almost lost in the depth of its notes. _Almost,_ I think, but not quite. So I cut him off at the pass.

"Edward," I say in a monotone voice "anything we had to say to each other we already said back in the woods. I really don't want you here, and you have already made it very clear that you're leaving me. Really…why can't you just leave me in peace?" I turn my body petulantly and face the wall wishing with all my heart that he would say something and then fearing at the same time that he will.

"_Please_, Bella," he says, his voice is a mere whisper yet his words are pleading. I hear him stand and my heart is skipping along with the butterflies that are apparently having a party inside my stomach and chest.

"I need you Bella… I came back here tonight because I _NEED_ you." He is speaking softly, but his words are urgent. My heart skips a beat or two; Edward NEEDS me….and suddenly I am all a flutter. Are there any words sweeter than these? But then I consider his behavior from last night and throughout today and I have to send him a firm message. '_Don't let him have the upper hand, Bella…'_

"Oh…okaaay," I say as sarcastically as possible, which isn't really a stretch as I am full of dry wit and am known to be a snarky bitch from time to time (though rarely in his presence and almost never to him). "So…what exactly is that supposed to mean? Yeah…you _need _me now. Okay, whatever…I NEEDED you last night and all I got was you telling me that you were, how did you put it? Oh yes…MORTIFIED and DISGUSTED. Then when I turned to walk in the house, you just left me there. _**Alone**_. So, Edwaaaard…forgive me if I question you, when you say YOU need ME." I am getting myself worked up into a real lather now and I can already feel the tears starting to prick my eyes and my throat feels tight.

"I don't know what I mean," he whispers. "I just-well…I just NEED you."

He walks over to me and I rise up and sit on the edge of the bed with my comforter gathered around me. He kneels before me, and I look down at him; I am ready to strike back with more attitude. But then he looks up at me through his impossibly long eyelashes and I see his eyes; they are warm, and golden, but they are also full of sadness…and something else. _Regret?_ Yes they are swimming with regret. I feel the bands around my heart pull just a bit. Shit…where is Rosalie when I need her?

"Please, Bella. _**Please**__…I need you, I need you…"_

Oh crap…and there it goes…the bands break and the ice which surrounds my damn heart literally melts. Without thinking about it, my hands drop to his shoulders and he lowers his head to my lap and rests it there. He is still mumbling "_I need you Bella_" over and over again in my lap. I feel his shoulders begin to shake and tremble. Like the damn traitors that they are, my hands go right to his hair and begin to stroke it, and I find myself running my fingers through the silky bronze tresses. I try in vain to pull them back but they are unyielding. My own body betrays me. And then my chest decides to get in on the action and I feel it begin to swell and my heart feels full.

"_I need you Bella"_

There is no turning back now… I am right there…and I cave.

I caress his hair and his neck and run my fingers lovingly over the tips of his ears; it is an incredibly intimate moment. All at once my anger and doubts dissolve and all I am left with is a wondrous feeling of love; there is no desire, just _love_. He feels it too, I can tell because he is purring as my fingers continue their ministrations to his scalp and hair. I am so overcome with emotion that I don't even realize that I am crying until I feel my tears drop into his soft hair. He looks up at me then and his face is full of emotion.

"Bella," his voice is sad and somewhat hoarse. He sounds as if he has been crying too. And this realization serves to remind me, that for all his sophistication and immortality, Edward is, at heart, just a scared and lost seventeen year old boy. My heart breaks for him. And it breaks for me. It breaks for us…

"Bella…I'm so sorry. I…I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. All I know is that I love you and I'm so confused… I know that I've been an ass… and after last night…" His voice begins to trail off and my heart is thumping so hard in my chest right now that I feel like it's literally going to jump out of my chest. I reach down and pull up his face so I can look in his eyes and I sigh…the dead fish eyes appear to be a thing of the past. Thank God.

"Edward…Edward, look at me." His eyes meet mine and though they are alive they look afraid. I don't want that look…no, not AT all. It is somehow worse than dead fish eyes. I give his hair a reassuring little tug and he exudes a small whimper.

"I think we need to _really_ talk to each other, not AT each other. I know how hard all of this has been on you, because it's been _awful_ for me.

"It _killed_ me to say those words to you back there in the woods. But Edward…we can't go on like _this._ It's too much…" At this a look of dread fills his eyes and I guess that he thinks I am telling him that I meant what I said back there in the forest, that I meant it when I told him that he wasn't good enough for me and that I wanted to end our relationship.

"Bella, what are you saying? Are you saying that you _don't_…love me anymore?" His words falter, and my heart breaks even further for him.

"No, baby…" I reassure him quietly. "I am not saying that at all." I realize then that I've called him by the endearment that I have been longing to say to him all along. He doesn't seem to mind, in fact from his facial expression I can tell that he likes it, though chin is quivering ever so slightly and he casts his eyes downwards.

"Then what…" He rises to his feet and for a moment I think he is going to walk away but he surprises me by sitting next to me on the bed and gently taking my hand in his. He looks down at me intently.

"Edward, I still love you…of course I do," I say reassuringly. "You never, ever have to question my love for you. But this need for you to control everything in our relationship is KILLING me…It's killing us."

"You say you love me; that you want to be with me. But then when things get out of your control you never let me IN…you RUN. Edward…that's all you ever do…you run. And I am telling you now…I can't live with the fear of you always poised for flight."

I stop speaking for a minute, and he looks up at me questioningly. I shake my head slightly to indicate that I need a moment or two to collect my thoughts. I reach over to the night stand and open the ibuprofen and shake a couple out, put them in my mouth and reach for the glass of water and take a long swallow. My hands are still shaking slightly and I clear my throat before I continue.

"All my life I've lived on the edge…Renee left Charlie when I was such a little girl, and that broke my heart. I used to be Daddy's little girl and then suddenly he was gone. And then later, we moved so many damn times; my mother has always been such an erratic and restless soul… And every time we settled down somewhere and I would start to feel safe and happy, she would get antsy or have some harebrained idea, and we'd suddenly be packing up shop and moving to destination unknown. I guess that made me insecure." He squeezes my hands gently and I shake my head. I need to finish my thoughts.

"I've always felt out of step; I've always waited for the other shoe to fall. But Edward, when I moved here to Forks and I met you and your family, I began to feel more myself. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was _home._ And then… when we fell in love…Oh, Edward I can't even begin to tell you what that has meant to me." I sigh remembering that day in our meadow. It was the most beautiful day of my life…

"Edward, despite what you might think, I knew the dangers that falling in love with you meant. I'm not stupid or naive. I meant it when I said that it doesn't matter to me _what_ you are."

I look deeply into Edward's eyes just then, and I can clearly see the conflicts that are spinning around in his mind as he fights against his instincts to allow me to finish without his interruption. I give his head a little scratch and stroke his hair a bit before I continue.

"Edward, I've begged you repeatedly to change me so that I can commit myself to you in every way possible, yet you refuse to even consider this as an option. You and I both know that this is the _only _solution that makes sense for us, and yet you refuse to even acknowledge my feelings and opinion. This alone makes me feel small and unworthy of your love." He jerks his face up at me and begins to shake his head vehemently, but I still him with my hands and ask him to let me continue. He nods reluctantly for me to do so.

"I've known from the beginning that you would eventually leave me one day. I've _always known_. I know that I'm not good enough for you…you didn't really need to tell me that today. I've always recognized that you were above me, and that I can never be the girl you need…how can I be? I'm nothing….I'm human." He gasps audibly, but I refuse to be hushed.

"No Edward, you deserve to be with someone like you; someone who is strong and indestructible. You need someone who doesn't need to be constantly protected; someone who is your equal. Someone who is…" My words start to fail me, and I feel a small sob escape before I can squelch it. I close my eyes trying desperately to calm myself so I can continue, but before I do I feel his arms wrap around me and I am caught tightly in his embrace.

"Shhh, love, shhh… no more talking," he murmurs softly against my neck. He gently scoops me up with my comforter, and carries me across the room. He sits in my great grandmother Swan's ancient rocker, and settles me on his lap. Slowly he begins to rock us both back and forth. The events and the words and the drama of the day have finally caught up with me, and I find myself crying helplessly, unable to stop.

"Bella, _shhh_… I know we need to talk about all of this, I really do. And you're right sweetheart…you're right about everything; I AM a stupid vampire." He pauses for a moment a presses a kiss on my temple. "But Bella, you are wrong when you say that you're not good enough for me. No Bella…it is _I_ who isn't worthy of you." I try to protest but he only hushes me and continues to rock us gently and his voice is soothing and velvety smooth. Yet in spite of the fact that he is now the one holding me and is offering me comfort, I still feel his own body shaking and trembling. I understand that he needs my comfort too. I wrap my arms around him tightly and hug him close to my heart. I become conscious then that we are offering each other comfort equally…he needs me as much as I need him. It is a long, tender moment, and it feels so right.

But there are still so many unanswered questions and so I voice the one that is troubling me the most.

"Edward?" I ask hesitantly.

"Hmmm?" he answers in reply to his name though he is still rocking us both gently and is now playing with one of my loose curls."What is it, love?"

"Edward, are you still… planning to leave?" I look into his warm golden eyes expectantly.

He returns my look and stops rocking us. An icy cold is forming in the pit of my stomach and I dread his answer. He doesn't answer my question, but gives me a deep penetrating stare, and after a long moment he sighs and resumes his rocking. He buries his face in my hair and I feel him breathing me in.

"Bella, come home with me tonight. Charlie already thinks that you're spending the night with Alice and then we can talk. Please…" He tilts my face up to his and smoothes my hair away from my face. He is pouring every bit of love into all of these gestures and even though my mind is racing a mile a minute and I am still confused, I am certain of one thing; Edward loves me and I love him. Of this I have no doubt. But will it be enough? I look at him just then and realize that I am not going to be able to find the answers here in my room; no…we need to return to where it all began to unravel…back to his house in the woods. Am I brave enough to take this first step? I see his eyes meet mine and I sigh.

"Okay," I tell him quietly, and I press a soft kiss on his forehead. His sigh is cool and long, and I can smell its spicy sweetness. He rests his head lightly on my shoulder and for a second I am overcome with love and an overwhelming need to take care of him. I tip his chin up and look at him and say, "But Edward, if I come with you, you have to promise me that we will really TALK…no more secrets, and no more one sided decisions. You have to stop treating me like a child; I'm not a child Edward, and I never really was. I know you're a lot older than me, and I know you're from a different era, but you don't have any more experience in relationships than I do. I don't know much, but I do know that the only way couples make things work is by talking things out. And most importantly, I don't want you making decisions that affect me…affect **us**, without my input."

"Okay."

One little word is all he says but the way he says it, so quiet and true, makes me believe him... believe in us.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think you can call Charlie and ask him if you can spend the whole weekend?"

_Thud…_

Aaaaaand my heart just about stopped. Yowsa… the entire weekend ALONE with Edward? Mmmm…the possibilities! And it's a long weekend too. Hmmm… maybe, just _maybe_ I'll be able to heed Rosalie's advice. I look out of the corner of my eye and see my inner bitch pull out her suitcase. That's right girl friend, pack up your nightie and toss in a few thongs for good measure. I ain't going to his house alone.

"M'kay," I mumble into his chest and I hear a small rumble of laughter against my chest. Apparently old vamp-ears heard my heart thud a few times. Humph! I decide not to respond and keep my trap shut. I don't want to ruin this moment with my verbal diarrhea. He tightens his arms around my waist and I burrow my face further into his chest. We both sigh.

We rock awhile longer and then he helps me pack and he hands me my jeans and a clean tee shirt that he has retrieved from my dresser drawer. He also hands me a clean pair of underwear and I add this to my pile. "I think..." he says faltering,"I think you'll be a lot more comfortable in these."

I blush deeply as I turn towards the bathroom to change; I'd forgotten that I'm wearing the damn broken thong and that I am practically naked before him. But as I turn to go in the bathroom I hear him quietly say…"But leave on the blue bra…I really LIKE it…" And then he gives me a crooked grin that morphs into a full on smirk. And just like that, MY Edward is back!

I turn my head, shoot him a look over my shoulder, and say nothing. But before I turn my head back, I give him what I hope is my own version of a sexy smirk, and I throw in a slow wink for good measure. His mouth flies open and I think to myself…this weekend might have possibilities after all.

And I say a silent prayer of thanks to Alice and Rosalie…wherever they are.

**Authors note: Umm...Is Edward still going to leave her?**

**Reviewers receive one slightly torn and barely worn thong, with love, from Bella.**


	8. Chapter 8: Pick up Truck Pick Me up

This chapter was made possible to you by the great and glorious coleen561. Her patience with me, as she muddles her way through my misplaced or omitted commas, is worthy of a gold medal!

Thank you, Coleen!

Chapter 8

Pick-up truck- pick me up

BPOV

Edward drives me to Forks High School so we can get my truck. The drive over there is quiet but not uncomfortably so. He holds my hand in his the whole drive and for once he is not speeding. Every so often he glances over at me and gives me a smile. He strokes his thumb over the back of my hand; as if to reassure me that this is real, that he is here and that we are going to talk soon. But my mind is going in fifty million different directions, because even though he is here with me now, he still has yet to answer my question about whether or not he is still planning to leave me. He notices my unease and squeezes my hand gently.

"Are you alright, Love?" He looks at me in concern, and I nod my head briefly.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just have a lot going on in my mind right now." I shrug my shoulders lightly and let out a little laugh.

"What I wouldn't give to be able to read your thoughts, Bella. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is for me that I can't see your mind?"

"Do you have any idea how grateful I am that you can't?" I quip.

"Touché," he chuckles lightly and pulls into the deserted parking lot. I then hop out of his Volvo and climb into my truck. Edward walks over to the hood and pops it open. I hear him let out a little laugh, and he shakes his head back and forth. I get out of the cab and join him.

"Why are you laughing, Edward?" I ask. "What's so funny about a dead battery?"

"Bella, your battery isn't dead. Somebody detached the cables." He turns to me with a smirk. "Care to share your thoughts on just who might have done such a thing?"

"No."

"Umm-hmm…that's what I thought you'd say." He is really laughing at me now, and I am starting to get just the teensiest bit nervous, though I can plainly see that he isn't mad; he is teasing me.

"It's really strange too." He is still chuckling at me and pretends to scratch his head.

I decide to bite. "Okay, tell me what it is that's so strange and has you laughing at me then."

"Well, for one thing the cables weren't just _detached,_ they were tied into _a bow,_ AND there's a long stem red _rose_ on top. Bizarre… And for another, the stench of BAL a Versailles perfume is making my head throb."

"Really… Wow, that IS weird. I didn't know that a vampire's head could throb. I might have some Midol in my purse, if you think that might help."

I know now that the gig is up, and more to the point, I know that he knows that I know. But I am not giving in to him this time. Sorry Vamp-man. No can do.

"Bella," he laughs. "I think the gig is up. Now I'm going to ask you one more time. Do you know who tampered with your truck?"

"Nope," I lie, popping my p.

"Liar." He turns to me and his eyes are gleaming with mirth and mischief. He starts walking towards me in a stalking mode and suddenly traps me under the cage of his arms.

"I'm not afraid of you, Edward." I manage to choke out. "You need to back away from me slowly before I do something we'll both regret."

"Oh, you _really_ shouldn't have said that," he laughs in a mock devilish tone. "And what, pray tell, will you do to me that we'll both regret, hmmm?" He has me pressed hard against the truck now and I am remembering last night's frottage. Gah! I blush furiously as the images of him grinding himself repeatedly into my core come into my mind.

"Why, Miss Swan, I do believe that you're blushing." He rubs his nose lightly against mine and I shiver slightly as I wrap my arms around his waist. Suddenly the charge in the air is back in full force, and I feel my legs go weak. Evidently he feels it too because the silliness is gone from his face, and his eyes become dark as night. I feel my breathing start to hitch and I reach for him and grab on to his jacket to steady myself. What IS going on with us lately? Seriously, even though Edward and I have become increasingly more intimate over the past few months, we have never been so tempted to cross the line as we have in the past 24 hours. And he seems just as charged up as I am, which is kind of hot, but also kind of strange. He's always been so controlled, whereas I have always been inclined to push the envelope. Not that I am complaining, mind you.

"Bella…" he breathes as he lowers his face to mine. His mouth is closing in on mine and he captures it in a hard kiss. Mmmm…am I dreaming? Oh God…I certainly hope not! Just like last night I feel his cool tongue snake out and trace my lips delicately. I decide to brave it and push my own tongue out slowly and trace his lips in return. Our tongues meet and we both groan at the contact. He deepens the kiss and our tongues swirl over each others as our mouths move frantically - both fighting for dominance. I feel the warmth of desire between my thighs, and I grab on to his hips and draw him closer to me. He presses himself against me, and I can feel his arousal hard against my hip. He lets out this sexy little erotic groan, and I feel my own arousal dampen my underwear. I push his hips closer to my center, and he picks up my legs and wraps them around his waist. His mouth leaves mine, and he begins to kiss my sweet spot in back of my ear. I gasp and whimper as he circles his hips into my center. I can feel him against me; his erection is firm and twitching. Oh God, I am panting now and breathing heavily into his ear.

"Oh, Bella," he moans. "I want you so much." He scoops me up into his arms bridal style and before I have time to process what is happening he is laying me down in the bed of my truck. I feel his mouth kissing down my neck and his cool hands are busy unzipping my jacket. With that mission accomplished, he snakes his hands under my tee shirt and lifts it up gently. I shudder hard as I feel him reach for the clasp on my bra. It pops open with a snap and I hear him let out another long moan as he buries his face between my cleavage. '_Seduce him Bella…make him yours. He can't leave you once he's made love to you…' _His sister's words are once again ringing in my ears, and even though I am losing myself in the unbelievably erotic sensations that are coursing through my body, I am beginning to feel the first stirrings of yet another emotion: _guilt. _

Oh God…no…_not now_! Why do I suddenly have to develop a conscience NOW? Why can't I just give myself over to absolute pleasure? I feel Edward's mouth closing in on my nipples and I find my hands are pushing against him. But then his long, cool fingers leave my breasts just long enough to trail down my chest, over my belly, and stop at the top of my jeans. He runs one finger under the denim and traces my outline from hip to hip. The sensation it creates is achingly good; I am panting and moaning and gasping all at the same time. Just then I feel him pop open my button and I hear and feel my zipper being eased down…

"Stop!"

"Mmmm…Bella…" Edward either doesn't hear me or he is so engrossed in his sexual awakening that he isn't concentrating on my words. This in and of itself is weird. Edward has always had the ability to multi-task. As much as I want to say to hell with it and let him carry on with his latent and long overdue lovemaking, I know that this is wrong and that he will regret it as soon as he comes to his senses. Oh, shit on a stick…I certainly don't want a repeat of last night's or this afternoon's performance. So I struggle one more time and turn my mouth to his ear and yell out: "No! Edward…please… STOP!"

He does.

Edward leaps off of me so fast that I feel my head practically spin into outer orbit. He has apparently moved with vampire speed and is sitting in the corner of the truck's bed and he is beside himself. Aw, crap…here we go again.

"Oh my God!" he yells to the sky. "What have I done?" I see the fear, guilt and shame begin to set in and I crawl over to him carefully and kneel in front of him.

"Edward," I say quietly. "Edward, look at me." He looks up at me and his eyes are full of guilt. His breath is hitching and I can already tell that he is going down that 'I'm a soulless monster' road again and I want to cut that journey short immediately.

"Edward…look at me." I take his hands and I hold them in mine and I kiss his fingers one by one. "I didn't tell you to stop just now because you were hurting me. I want this as much as you do…more, probably. But Edward, we promised each other that we were going to talk first, and this is me putting the brakes on here because I want us to talk to each other without letting the lust cloud our vision."

"I…I…didn't hurt you Bella?" he asks falteringly.

"No, baby, I'm not hurt. See?" I crawl into his lap and he holds me tightly against his chest. His breathing is back under control and he rests his forehead against mine. I run my hands through his beautiful hair and try to establish eye contact. I feel him finally calming down, and he hugs me tightly.

"Thank you, Bella," he says to me after a long minute.

"Why are you thanking me?" I ask.

"For grounding me… I nearly lost myself just then and you helped pull me back and helped me focus. If I ever hurt you, I could never forgive myself."

"Edward, please believe me. I didn't stop you because you were hurting me or because I thought you were losing control. I stopped you because I was feeling… guilty."

There, the cat is out of the bag now!

"_Guilty_? Why on earth should you feel guilty? It is I who should be feeling thus. I am a monster for taking advantage of you. I was one step away from taking your innocence, Bella. One STEP! I know better than this…I acted like a depraved animal: an ANIMAL!" He is beginning to weave the hair-shirt he plans to wear for his atonement so I stop him before he knits one and purls two.

"Edward, will you please stop! You didn't do any such thing. For crying out loud…I was there and I was an active participant. If anyone should feel shame it should be me."

"Why do you keep saying that, Bella?" He looks at me curiously.

I don't really want to have this conversation at all, let alone in the bed of my old Chevy and in the middle of FHS parking lot, so I answer him the best way I know how.

"Because."

"Because? What kind of an answer is that?"

"It's the kind of answer your girlfriend gives you when she isn't ready to answer your question right now, okay?" My reply seems to calm him down immensely because I can actually feel the tension easing its way out of his body and I see his lips begin to curl up, albeit reluctantly, on his face. Oh yeah, there it is, a full on smirk. Whew! Crisis averted!

"My _girlfriend?_" he teases. "What girlfriend? I have it on good authority that I am no longer in possession of a girlfriend. In fact, I was told, and I quote 'and just so there's no confusion, you are not my boyfriend anymore.' By the way…what happened to your date tonight?"

"I lied," I say to him quietly.

"Huh!" he gasps before chuckling a bit and presses a small kiss at my temple. "Which part did you lie about? Me no longer having a girlfriend, or you having a date?"

I shrug my shoulders a bit and relax into him. He reaches over to grab a blanket that is in the truck's bed and wraps it around my shoulders. I don't answer him right off because even though I know he is teasing me, there is a serious undertone to his questions. Finally after a long moment I pull his face down to mine and give him a small kiss.

"I guess I'm not sure about the first question," I sigh. "That remains to be seen and we still have to talk, okay?" He nods his head and sighs into my hair.

"As to the second question…I am sitting here with you in the parking lot on a Friday night and we are going to your house, alone, just the two of us for the weekend. So I'm thinking that this counts as a date. Yes?"

"Yes," He smiles happily into my hair once again. "But Bella, before we talk and sort everything out about our relationship status and our future, I want you to know one thing."

"And what would that be?" I ask him as I hug myself into his cool embrace.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Can we just cuddle here for a little bit longer before we talk?" He sounds so wistful and (am I imagining it?) a little…sexy?

"Okay…but I think I better put my bra on first."

"No you don't," he says, slowly kissing my jaw.

"I don't?" I begin to pant.

"No, I want to explore you just a little bit first…may I?" He trails his nose across my neck and begins to press soft kisses on my collarbones.

Oh

My

God!

"Yes…"

He lowers his mouth to my cleavage and kisses the tops of my breasts softly. His mouth nuzzles a bit lower and I feel his cool tongue trail gently over my left nipple and then, oh so slowly, over the right. His hands reach up and he tenderly squeezes them together as his lips begin to suck on both of my nipples ever so sweetly. He is tender and reverent, and when my eyes make contact with his I am completely undone. I hear his breathing hitch and I know without doubt that he is as affected by this moment as I am. My hands are pulling and tugging on his hair and I let out a loud moan of desire. He groans into my breasts, and I feel his body harden as he presses his erection into my side.

"Oh, Bella…tell me to stop. Please…I need…oh God…I want…mmmm…Can we just…oh please…just a little…" I grab his hip and move him over to my center. I am leaking and moaning like a whore in church by now, but I don't care. I need this, and for the love of all that is holy (his words, not mine), he needs it too. But I don't want to lose my virginity in the back of my pickup truck in the parking lot at Fucks High School. I mean…how cliché is that? But I DO want something to remember this night. I NEED to give him something too…anything to erase the bitterness of our last encounters. So I move my mouth up to his ear and moan for him to move on top of me, and he does…oh…he does! And I'm right with him…we are lined up firmly against each other and he is grunting, hissing, and grinding his arousal into mine. Mouth against mouth, and jeans against jeans…and I'm coming, and coming…oh GOD, it feels so good! And then I hear a long almost primal groan emit from his chest to his lips as he stills his hips against my pelvis. He collapses in my arms…panting and kissing me over and over again. Our eyes meet each other's and we smile; there is no regret…only sweet relief. And, yeah…a big mess in Edward's pants. We both chuckle as he adjusts himself and after he does he gives me another soft kiss and asks me if I'm alright.

And I am…oh yes…I most certainly AM.

And for the first time in the past 24 hours I feel an emotion that has been achingly absent. I feel hope.

**Authors Note: A hair shirt was an article of clothing which men of the cloth (primarily Catholic priests) wore back in the medieval period when they tried to scourge themselves for their sins. Hair shirts were usually made from horse hair and caused the skin to become extremely irritated and inflamed. The idea was that it served as a reminder to seek absolution for their sins.**

**Reviewers are entitled to one bottle of Midol, compliments of Bella. **


	9. Chapter 9: Love Letters

Chapter 9:

Love letters

BPOV

After Edward attached the cables on my truck, we drove separately to his house. The long drive down his rural driveway was tough on my truck and my backside, but the bumping motion was not at all jarring; it soothed me. I look around my surroundings and notice that it is getting darker; the sky was fading from twilight and into the deeper shadows of the night. I shiver; I hated to see it end. Twilight has always been my favorite part of the day, that esoteric time when it was neither day nor night. Renee always called it magic time: a time for reflection and for possibilities. I used to scoff at her romantic notions but lately I've come to appreciate the sweetness of her sentiments. I pull up behind Edward's Volvo and sit in my cab for a few moments reflecting and enjoying the solitude. Just then I am knocked out of my revelry by Edward tapping hard on my side window. I open the door and hop out.

"What's wrong…why are you still sitting there in the truck?" he says to me. I see him swallow, his Adams apple bobbing a bit. Wow, I think, he seems a little nervous. I pray that he isn't regretting our pick up passion; I know I don't. I sigh and blush a little as my eyes meet his. He looks down at me and smiles so sweetly, and I know in a moment that he is thinking exactly the same thoughts as me. He takes my hand and lifts it up to his lips and kisses it gently.

"Are you ready, Love?" he asks as he swings his long arm around mine and with his other, grabs my overnight bag.

"Yes."

We walk in the near-dark up to his front door, he unlocks it quickly, and we enter the foyer. As I peer into the semi darkness, I see that everything is draped and covered with thick, heavy drop clothes; not one stick of furniture is visible to my eyes. Without warning, I burst into tears.

He drops my bag and sweeps me into his arms and hugs me close.

"Oh God, Bella…I'm so stupid. I didn't stop to think..." his voice drifts off.

He is holding me tightly now and murmuring softly into my hair and is patting my back awkwardly. I feel wretched. I didn't want to spend what might be my last night with him, crying like a big baby, but…seeing this cold and covered room drives home to me the reality of the situation. His family is gone. He almost left me. He still might…and if I don't get my shit together, he probably will. So I sigh, swallow, and try desperately to regain my composure. I look up at him with wet eyes, and his long fingers sweep away the last remnants of my tears. I force out a little laugh, but it sounds false and rings hollow.

"I'm so sorry Edward," I say. "I don't want to ruin this weekend. I…I just…"

"I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I didn't even stop to think what coming back to this house would look like in your eyes. I can't believe how insensitive I am. Do you want to go back to your house instead?"

"No."

I really don't want to go back there, I realize suddenly. I want to be here. I want to be able to face my demons head on, not shrink in the shadows. Here, right here in this very room is where Jasper almost attacked me. Here in this room, is where I lay, broken and bleeding. It was here I saw Edward for the first time as a real boy, and not as a century old vampire. This is where I last felt whole, before those awful minutes came crashing down on us and caused our world to shift off its axis. And here, in this room…in this house…here is where we will need to be, in order for us to fix it, and set it right.

"Bella, please…I beg you. What are you thinking right now?" Edward is now standing in front of me, his eyes closed, his forehead touching my own…as if he were literally trying to pull the thoughts out of my brain.

_I'm thinking that even though this is really hard for me…seeing the finality of your family's decision to leave, that this is exactly where we are supposed to be. And I guess I'm thinking that even though you're here with me now, it might not last long. And I'm thinking that a part of me is going to die if you leave, but that a part of me might die if I force you to stay._

But I don't voice these thoughts to him. No. I keep these thoughts to myself and give him a watery little smile, and shrug my shoulders.

"I'm not really thinking anything right now, Edward. I'm only feeling."

"Feeling what, Love?"

"Everything."

He senses that I am not telling him the whole truth, but instead of grilling me further, he kisses me softly and unexpectedly ruffles my hair.

"Bella," he says lightly. "I think we should go upstairs and get you settled in my room. Before we go up though, I do want to warn you that everything is packed up and is in boxes. It's not going to be easy for you, I know, and I'm sorry for that. But…my couch is still there and we can sit and talk for a bit. Would that be acceptable?"

I swallow my emotions and nod my head. Then I take his hand and we walk up the stairs together. I am suddenly reminded of the first time Edward brought me to this house. It was last spring and it was shortly after Edward had confessed to being a vampire, as well as his love for me. Though we didn't know each other that well at the time, I knew already that I was in love with him and that, in spite of the dangers, he was my soul mate and that I would never love another.

God, we'd had such a great time that day! He made me dance with him to Clair De Lune. I had stumbled and laughed in his arms as I confessed to him that I could not dance. He had replied that he could always make me. When I'd looked him in his eyes and jokingly told him that I wasn't afraid of him, he grabbed me and pinned me against the couch, teased me, and made me laugh and giggle. Even though there was nothing sexual about that encounter, it stirred up the first feelings of desire.

We enter his room and he flicks on the switch to his lamp. We both gasp when we see his room. There is not a box in sight. Everything is exactly the same as when I last saw it, save one. For there in the center of his room is an enormous bed; the likes of which I have never seen before. It is a massive King size monstrosity: all dark wood, with a canopy of wrought iron flowers, burnished bronzed leaves, and intricate finials. The bed is covered with a beautiful dark gold satin comforter, and is surrounded by matching pillows, in various shapes and sizes. In the center of the bed lies a scroll. It is tied with a dark brown velvet ribbon, and is sealed in a copper colored wax that is embossed with the Cullen crest.

"Alice!" we both cry out together. Edward leans over the bed and gracefully removes the scroll. He hands it to me and he motions me to join him on the couch, which is now positioned in front of the new bed. I sit next to him and he nods his head as I break the seal and unfurl the scroll. The paper looks old and is heavy in my hands. It is written in a lovely script that reminds me of calligraphy; I recall that Renée once took a class in this art. The lettering of the words is so elaborate, and the slant is so extreme, that I have difficulty making out the words. I hand it to Edward and he takes it gently from my hands and begins to read it out loud. It is addressed to us both.

_To my dear brother Edward and his beloved Bella,_

_It is Friday, September 14th and I am sitting in my room preparing to take my leave. I have just returned from a hunt in the forest that surrounds our vast property; the hunt was short but satisfactory and, I confess, necessary._

_Bella… There are no words to describe the depth of regret and remorse I am feeling at this moment. Others may make the excuse on my behalf that I do not have enough years of practicing the art of restraint when I expose myself to humans. This may possibly be true; however, it is a poor excuse for my violent reaction to your innocent wound last evening. I was unfortunately caught off my guard, and as I had not eaten in several days, my thirst was severely in need of quenching. Still, to think that I put you at such risk is literally beyond my ken._

_I am not by nature a violent person, Bella. Indeed as a human man, long before my involvement in the War Between the States, I was considered to be a sensitive and quiet person of unusual restraint. I was often described as having the ability to instill harmony and peace amongst my family and companions. However, when the war called me into service my natural sensibilities were forever altered. I beg your pardon, a thousand times over. Forgive me._

_Edward, you are my brother and my dearest friend. I have held you in my highest personal regard since joining your family all those years ago._

_When I first met you Edward, I must admit that your tendency to brood was very disconcerting. As you have come to know, I am greatly affected by other's moods, so when I was subjected to your periods of despair and abject loneliness, I too felt lost and saddened. However, your humor, chivalry, intelligence, and integrity made up for your moodiness and bouts of depression._

_Over the years I felt your loneliness fester. Though you did your best to conceal your true feelings from the others, because of my gift, you were unable to hide them from me. As time passed, I grew to love you as a dear brother and faithful companion; it made my heart sicken to think that you would be forced to live this life alone. And then suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, came Bella…_

_Edward, the transformation that this young and lovely woman has made in you is remarkable to say the least. I saw it in your face the moment you first set eyes upon her in the school canteen that you had fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with her. It happened within the first few seconds you spent in her presence, and a full half hour before she even entered your classroom. Though I know it was alarming to you at first, I believe you yourself knew it before the class period had ended. That was why you ran to Alaska; it was also the reason you ran back to her. _

_You can never leave your true love and mate, Edward; it is simply not within our nature as a vampire to do so. You may be able to succeed in parting from her briefly, but to what avail? You will return only to leave her over and over again. It will be a vicious and hellish cycle that will find no end. I implore you to reconsider this notion. It is ridiculous to the extreme, and in the end it will only succeed in destroying you both._

_Love each other, Bella and Edward. And have faith and trust in each other as well. It is the only possible way you will both find the happiness you so richly deserve._

_Please accept this bed as a token of forgiveness. I know that it is not possible at this time for me to fully make amends, however I pray that our time apart will be brief yet healing._

_Till we meet again…I remain your loyal and humble servant._

_Jasper_

Edward sets the scroll aside and turns to me. We do not speak, but as our eyes meet and lock, we find ourselves in each other's arms and embrace. He dips his head down and presses his lips softly against my own. Our kiss is sweet, chaste, and is full of promise. He ends this kiss with a few more gentle kisses which he presses on my face, and tucks his head into the crook of my neck. We sit like this for many minutes and then we part and both sigh. We laugh a bit at our mutual reaction. Edward is the first to break our silence.

"Well," he says, clearing his throat a little. "It appears that Jasper has given us much to think about. But before we begin our discussion, I think we should go down to the kitchen and see if we can find you something to eat. It's been many hours since you've had anything to eat; I have been unimaginably neglectful of your human needs."

I shake my head vehemently, though he is right. I haven't had a bite to eat since the pop tart that I wolfed down before school this morning. I had been far too stressed to eat anything at lunchtime, and the hours that followed were not exactly conducive in sparking my appetite.

"I'm not really hungry, Edward," I say. But he is shaking his head and I can see that he is firm in his resolve. So when he rises and holds out his hand for me to join him I acquiesce, albeit, reluctantly.

We walk hand in hand down the long, wide stairway and find our way into Esme's large and open kitchen. Edward walks over to the fridge and opens it. I hear him chuckle from inside its depths.

He removes his head and I take note that his arms are holding a large and over flowing basket. He sets it down on the granite countertop and motions me to join him. I peer inside and grin. It is stuffed with every kind of delectable food my teenage girl's appetite could desire. There are rolls and cheeses and fruits of every kind. There is ham and baby lettuce, and tomatoes so red they could only have been imported from the finest gardens. There are cookies, chocolates, and frosted cakes that are iced in deep swirls of pink and white. There are bottles of expensive waters, and sparkling grape non-alcoholic wines. My mouth begins to water.

Edward takes the rolls out of the basket and removes the ham, cheese, lettuce, and tomato, and begins to construct me an enormous sandwich. When he is finished with his gastronomic masterpiece he sets it down on the table and signals for me to come and eat. I sit at the counter and he pops open a bottle of the sparkling grape drink, and I begin to eat and drink with gusto. Oh my God…it is sooo good!

As I eat my supper, I see Edward pull out a note from the basket. It's from Esme. He asks me if I would like for him to read it out loud and I have to nod my head, because my face is stuffed to the brim with ham and cheese. He does.

_**My Darlings,**_

_**I know that the events of the day have taken a tremendous toll on you both. You have both been through a very emotional and stressful 24 hours. If you have found this basket, as is my hope, then this must mean that you have returned to our home just as Alice predicted. I pray that you will find the contents to your liking, Bella.**_

_**I know that Jasper has left you a letter, which he shared with me to garner my approval before our departure this morning. I will not therefore repeat his sentiments, but please know that they are an echo of my own. I will only add that I have rarely ever witnessed a love such as the one you two share; it is reminiscent of the love that I feel for your father, Edward. And you of all people know of the depth and the strength of our union.**_

_**Children, please continue to love and to care for each other. Ours is a strange and lonely world, and one should not ever have to walk in it alone.**_

_**I shall miss you both with a mother's love; it is my deepest wish that we shall be reunited soon.**_

_**All my love,**_

_**Esme**_

This time I am the first to speak.

"This was really sweet of Esme, Edward. This sandwich is heavenly, and I can't wait to get my hands on those chocolates…and oh my God…these cupcakes! Do you think she made them?" I am babbling like a fool because I honestly don't know what to say. From what I can tell, it appears his family is staging an intervention even though they're absent, and I am not at all sure how this is going to sit with Edward.

"Bella, calm down love and enjoy your little repast. I know you're looking out for my well being and I can tell you're trying to gauge my reaction to these letters from my well-intentioned family. But, please believe me…this is very typical of them. We have no secrets from each other." He leans down and gives my nose a small kiss.

"Now then, I think I am going out to get some wood and I'll make us a little fire. How does that sound?"

"That sounds wonderful," I reply. I resume eating my sandwich and sip my drink. I am trying to remain calm, but there is only one thing on my mind and it's a big one…._**THE BED**_!


	10. Chapter 10: A Simple Man

EPOV

Chapter 10

A simple man

I head outdoors and wander over to the wood pile that is situated in the rear of the garage. Before I get there I find myself walking over to the bench that is overlooking the river bed that that flows in the middle of our land. My breath is hitching, my head is throbbing, and if it were still beating, I am certain that my heart would be pounding. The events of the day have indeed taken its toll on me and I fear I am coming undone.

When I arrived at Bella's after she left me standing there in the woods, I was a wreck. I had no idea if she would receive me, nor any idea of what to say to her. I knew only one thing with utmost certainty; I _needed_ her.

When I entered her house I followed her scent to the kitchen and saw her lying there in a heap on the kitchen floor. I had what I believe the doctors of today refer to as a "panic attack". Even though I could hear her heart beating, seeing her lying there still as death, caused my breath to hitch, my eyes to spot, and my hands to tremble. I gathered my wits and scooped her up gently in my arms and carried her upstairs and laid her on her bed. I checked her for injuries, but she appeared to be physically fine. I believe she must have fainted.

I removed her jeans, which were wet and sticky from the beer, and the moisture of the outdoors. This sounds like a clinical task, but I would be lying through my teeth if that's what it was. Naturally, I wanted her to be comfortable, but if I were to be honest…. It felt…intimate. Yes, that's the word…it felt very _intimate_, like an act a husband would lovingly perform for his wife. His _WIFE…_.

Once I removed the wet and sopping article of clothing I pulled the comforter over her chilled body. Okay, that is a lie. I admit I did run my hands lightly over her legs and I further admit; it was exquisite! Her legs were smooth and white, like finely carved ivory. I had never touched a woman's naked legs in my life before. It was incredibly erotic. And yes I know that it was very wrong of me to do so, but I found I simply could NOT help myself!

I went to her bathroom and fetched the bottle of ibupropin and a small glass of water and set it down on the small table beside her bed. I then walked over the rocking chair and settled myself in it as I waited for her to return to me.

I picked up the dog-eared copy of Wuthering Heights which Bella has read and re-read so many times that I have teasingly come to refer to it as her bible. Though I have read this book on more than one occasion over the years, I must admit I do not find it to be enjoyable. The two main characters have so many flaws in their particular makeup that I simply cannot abide them. However, Bella has pointed out to me many times that it is the love between Catherine and Heathcliffe that is enduring and this is their mutual redemption. She feels that this is enough to make for a worthy and brilliant novel. Perhaps she is correct, but I still do not care for this story. Still I am quite impressed with her clarity of thought; she would make an impressive literature teacher. This thought leads me to think about her overall humanity; a gift that she herself is all too willing to through away. The thought of changing Bella so she can live with me forever is not a thought I wish to entertain, for as much as I would selfishly love to have her join me as we journey through this ridiculous so called life…I will not destroy her soul.

Shortly before five O'clock her phone rang. I was startled out of my revelry because I had destroyed her cell phone earlier this afternoon. However the ringing persisted. It appeared to be coming from out of her nightstand. The noise woke Bella up, and I saw her reach over and open the draw and retrieve the phone. From my vantage point it appeared to be an exact replica of her original cell. _ALICE_ had struck again.

I listened without apology to her conversation. She was talking to Charlie and from the gist of things it sounded as if he was telling her that he would be staying at the reservation for the night. After she hung up the phone I saw her reach over and pluck out a letter which she read and then folded up carefully and set aside. Though I could not make out the contents of the letter from where I sat, I was able to notice that Bella seemed visibly upset. Taking note of her emotional state made me feel absolutely wretched; I was the cause of her sadness. When she stood up to yawn and stretch I decided to make my presence known to her. Her reaction was to let out a shriek that could have awoken the dead. She ran back to her bed and dove in and hid underneath her covers. If I hadn't felt so desolate, I might have found this reaction to be amusing. However in my current state of mind it only rendered me to be even more forlorn. How I had hurt her….

She asked me why I was there in her room, however I wasn't able to respond. She then launched into a bitter recount of our earlier conversation in the woods where she had confronted me about abandoning her and running away. She spoke to me in such a cold and lifeless voice that my soul (if I possessed one) felt the frost of her every word.

Once I stood on my feet I found myself so overcome with emotion that words completely failed me. The only words that came out of my mouth were "I need you", which I found myself repeating to her over and over again. Though I am unable to shed actual tears, I found myself shaking and trembling. I think I even sobbed a time or two. I approached her bed and knelt before her in supplication and laid my head down in her lap. I feared she would refuse me, but then as is so often with the case with Bella, she surprised me by putting her delicate hands into my hair and began to stroke my head so lovingly and tenderly that I thought my heart would burst. I was completely overcome with love. My senses were filled to the brim and I was rendered speechless once again.

Once Bella began to talk about her own feelings towards me, we began an honest assessment of our future together. She was very open to me about her insecurities regarding our relationship, and pointed out to me that my need to control every aspect of our coupling exacerbated those feelings tenfold. When she broke down during her diatribe in which she went on length to assure me that she was not good enough for me, I finally had had my fill. To think that this beautiful, sweet, and innocent girl could possibly believe she was not worthy enough for me left me feeling gutted and raw. Unable to hear her words any longer, I swept her up and shushed her and carried her over to the rocking chair where I did my best to comfort her. I rocked her for a goodly amount of time and she eventually calmed down. I was once again struck by her sweetness and goodness; how she could still love someone as despicable as me was completely beyond my understanding. But in those moments I realized that in spite of my obvious character flaws and lack of humanity, Bella loved me truly and sincerely. I felt blessed by her presence and warmed by her love.

Eventually it was decided that we would return to my home to "work things out'. She asked me at one point if I was still going to leave her. It broke my heart when I found that I was unable to give her an honest answer. I simply did not know the answer to this question yet myself.

We packed her bag and set out to Forks High School to retrieve her truck. Once there I got out of my Volvo and looked under the hood of her beloved beast, only to discover that the battery cables had been detached and were tied into an elaborate bow that was adorned with a long stem red rose. I found myself chuckling over the absurdity of this nonsense; Rosalie has always had a keen, if biting, sense of humor. I asked Bella if she knew who had been responsible for this silly prank but she feigned ignorance. I knew she was lying and teased her in an effort to pry from her a confession, but she stubbornly refused defeat. This teasing lead to me pinning her up against the truck and soon we found ourselves caught up in a passionate embrace. I kissed her and fondled her and she responded to my overtures with ardent abandon. Overcome with lust and love I picked her up in my arms and carried her over to the bed of her pick-up truck, where I laid her down and continued on in my clumsy, yet zealous lovemaking. I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried, and god knows I didn't want to stop. It was pure heaven! But when she put her mouth to my ear, I heard her cry out for me to stop. I was so startled that I dropped her and practically flew to the opposite side of the truck where I flung my hands up to the sky in despair; I thought for certain I had hurt her. She crawled over to me then and assured me with her words and her loving touch that I had not hurt her. She kept on repeating that it was she who stopped my lovemaking because she felt guilt. Guilt! I couldn't even begin to understand why she would entertain such a ridiculous idea; however she remained firm in her resolve. A bit later when I finally calmed down we resumed our conversation. When I was finally at ease, I was prompted to ask her to stay a few more moments in the confines of her truck, so we could continue to cuddle. I honestly had no forethought whatsoever when I found myself asking her not to put her bra back on so I might explore her warm and soft body. But I found myself doing just that! And furthermore…she agreed!

Words cannot even begin to describe the joy I felt when she and I gave into our feelings of desire. I kissed her repeatedly and she returned my advances kiss for kiss. I sought her beautiful breasts with my hands and my mouth. Unlike last night which was a highly charged and lust fueled event, this was slow and sensual and unbelievably erotic. I took my time and I was achingly aware of my surroundings. Bella responded to my ardor by moaning and whimpering. Soon we found ourselves grinding our arousals in mutual pleasure. When she moaned in my ear to move on top of her, I found myself yielding to her soft commands, much to my utter surprise and delight. It was the most emotional and physical act of intimacy I had ever experienced. We climaxed together and sighed in each other's arms. I have never felt such bliss. We had made love, and though it was not a true intercourse in the fullest sense of the words, it was beyond magical. And for the first time in my long and ridiculous life I felt not an ounce of regret, only relief and absolute joy.

We returned home and entered the foyer, where to my complete shock, Bella promptly burst into tears. I looked in the room and realized my stupidity; I hadn't given a single thought to how this cold and covered room would appear to Bella's eyes. I was an ass! I apologized at once and even asked her if she would prefer to return to her home, but she refused. I tried to obtain her true thoughts to me but she only responded to my queries by stating that she had no thoughts, only feelings. Though I knew she was being evasive I didn't attempt to pry any further. Rather I suggested we get her settled in my bedroom to which she readily agreed. I did think to warn her that the contents of my room were packed up and were in boxes, in an effort to stave off another emotional disappointment.

Nothing on earth could have prepared me when we entered my bedroom. Everything had been unpacked and restored to its original order. This was surreal in and of itself, but when my eyes lit upon the monstrosity of a new bed that took up the entire length of my wall, I was stunned. Bella and I both cried out; Alice! For who else would stage such a dramatic scene? However, when Bella handed me the scroll that was sealed in our Cullen crest and we settled on my sofa to read it, we discovered that it was not from Alice as we had presumed, but from my brother, Jasper.

Jaspers letter was written to us both, and he communicated his apologies to Bella most fervently. But it was his words to me that have me sitting here now, with my head in my hands. His words have once again rendered me speechless and have given me pause. I never knew that Jasper regarded me with such respect and brotherly love. Though I return those affections to him, we have never given them voice. It made me feel warm with gratitude and I found myself lamenting that I had not sought him out before I departed this morning. But it was his declaration about my desire to leave Bella so I may assure her safety that has given me much to consider. I never thought that my actions to leave her would go against my vampire nature and makeup; I had never considered such an idea. When he stated that I might be able to part from Bella briefly only to find myself returning to her on the repeat, I was staggered. This would be horrendously difficult for me and would be most unfair to Bella. His proclamation that my actions would end up destroying us both, has filled me with remorse. Still I admit, I am filled with confusion.

I look up and heave a sigh and my eyes catch on something that is lying atop the woodpile. It appears to be a letter that is wrapped in a plastic bag. Curious I pick it up and I begin to read it. It is addressed to me.

Bro,

Okay…I guess if you are reading this letter then this means you have finally gotten your head out of your ass and have come to your senses. At least I hope that's what this means.

Edward, you are my brother and I love you, but you are also one of the stupidest men that god ever made. Ever since I've known you, you have been depressed as shit and have been a real stick in the mud. But in spite of all this I've found you to be a hell of a nice guy, and a great brother for the most part. You put up with my teasing and jokes and you play a mean game of chess (though I prefer to beat your ass senseless in a good game of pool). But underneath all of your holier than thou attitude, I know you are really just a scared kid who puts up a good front.

Everyone else in the family may try to sugar coat things with you, but this is me, and I am nothing, if not straight up. So sit your ass down on a log and prepare to hear a few hard truths.

Edward you are fucked. If you think that leaving Bella is a good idea then you are even dumber than I realized. This girl loves you, man! And that my friend is fucking EVERYTHING!

I know you know my story; the one about how I came to be a part of this odd little tribe we call a family. But I don't think I ever told you how I _felt _about the whole thing. And I know YOU are all about the feelings…so here goes…

I was 19 years old and in the prime of my youth. I was the youngest son of ten children and lived in the mountains of Tennessee. Ours was a hard life. It was the depression and my father was a poor farmer. We didn't have much money, but we had each other. My mother was a good woman; she was strict but very loving. I enjoyed the company of my brothers and sisters. We hunted, chopped wood, played cards, sang songs, and went to church every Sunday. I helped out on the farm. I didn't have a steady sweetheart, but I figured that would happen in time.

On the day that I met my fate, I was off hunting in the woods near our fields. I had just shot a large buck and was in the process of gutting him, when I heard a loud noise that came barreling at me. I looked up and it was a gigantic fucking grizzly. Jesus H Christ he was huge! I nearly shit myself when I saw him come running after me. I am a big guy and a strong man but even I could see that I was no match for this mother. He caught me up in his arms before I made my first squeal. I felt his yellow teeth ripping into my arms and chest. I struggled and screamed, but I was as helpless as a baby in his arms. I found myself crying like a little kid for my mama, and I closed my eyes and prepared to die. All of a sudden I saw a flash of gold, and when I opened my eyes wide I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

It was an angel. A beautiful, blonde, sexy as shit, ANGEL! My angel was not gentle; oh hell no…that is an understatement! She threw herself on the back of the bear and broke his neck with one fell swoop. I landed in a heap, bleeding and blubbering. She scooped me up in her arms and our eyes met. And then she began to run with the speed of a runaway train. She murmured to me that she would take care of me and I felt myself calming down in her arms. She ran for what seemed like hours, and I knew without a question of a doubt that I would be giving up the ghost soon. I begged her to put me down and let me die in peace, but she only chuckled and assured me that no one would be dying today…at least not in the traditional sense. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I put my faith in her beautiful arms.

Edward, I fell in love with my angel that day. By the time she made it to Carlisle she had pretty much told me who she was and what was going to go down. It sounded so ridiculous that I figured I had gone plumb crazy, or that I was already dead. But, as you know, I wasn't dead. Nope…instead I became undead, just like Bella fucking Lugosi. God that was cool!

When I came to after my transformation, I looked up and saw my beautiful angel staring down at me; she had never left my side. And to this day, I have no regrets. I could never have hoped for a better woman. She is my love, my mate, my wife, and my life. She saved me once, and I made a promise to myself that I would live to take care of her and everyone else that I love.

I am a simple man, Edward. I do not have the education or elegant manners that you have. I am not a psychic, I cannot control moods, and I am not especially skilled. I will never play the piano, command an army, or perform surgery with my hands. I am a protector, Edward. That is who I am.

When you left for Canada this morning I was pissed. I was pissed off at you because you started flapping your jaw about how you had to protect Bella, and you made us all pack up and run away like thieves in the night. You never once asked us for our opinion or advice. Nope…you simply told us how you felt and assumed that we would all go along with your stupid plan. Well I for one wasn't going to up and leave this town without at least having the common decency to say goodbye to Bella. She's become a good friend and I love her like I would a little sister. In my heart I felt that what you were doing to her was rotten. This poor kid deserved better than that.

When I was in the woods running towards her property, I caught a familiar scent. Yeah…it turned out to be that red headed chick who was with that dude; you remember, the one we took down back in Phoenix last spring? She was hiding up in the tree that is just outside Bella's window. I knew she was up to no good and when she caught wind of my scent she jumped out of the tree and started running and screaming like a banshee into the woods. I ran after her and took her down with one hand. She barely had time to open her mouth when I clubbed her a good one and broke her damn neck. I ripped that bitches head off, and tore her ass from limb to limb. Then I took out the lighter that my father had given me on my 18th birthday and I sent her home to Jesus. Man that felt good!

Edward, what I did to her…dude…that was YOUR job. Don't get me wrong, I was there, I saw her, I knew who she was after, and I dealt with her. I don't have any regrets; I was glad to do it, and I'd do it again in a New York minute. But buddy, I still gotta say it; that was your FUCKING job. As Bella's mate, you have a duty to protect her. And where were you when all this was happening? You were in fucking Canada. And why were you in fucking Canada? Well, that was because you started your period and went bat-shit crazy without thinking things through.

Bella could have died today, Edward. She could have fucking DIED. I want you to think about that.

Okay, I've said my piece and I'm not going to say anymore. I hope you know that I still love you and I always will. As your brother I am begging you not to do anything else stupid. You've already done that, and now you know what that almost cost you. I hope that's enough.

Take care of yourself and give my best to Bella. Why she loves a moody pain in the ass like you, is beyond me. But she does.

Love,

Emmett

PS: Rosalie made you an appointment next week with the proctologist. She says it's to remove the stick from your ass. Good luck with that.

I find myself standing up now and I am running, no _sprinting_, to the house. I cannot believe what my eyes just read. Oh dear god…I could have lost _my Bella_ today! I could have fucking lost her!

I'm at the door to the house now, and am about to go inside and find my girl, and hug her, and kiss her, and tell her how much I love her. And then I am going to pull that stick out of my ass myself, and beg her to forgive me. But before I do any of this, I stop for a moment and cast my eyes up to the sky and send out a silent prayer of thanks to Emmett. He may be a simple man, but as it turns out, he is the smartest man I know.

**Authors note: Next to Edward I love Emmett most of all. I never felt that Ms. Meyer gave him enough recognition. His story was glossed over. He may be a simple man, but he is funny as shit, makes me smile, and he makes me feel safe. Leave him some love!**


	11. Chapter 11: Compromised

Chapter 11

Compromised

BPOV

It's just after seven o'clock, and I have finished my "little repast." I swear Edward's words make me swoon. He is just so damn old-fashioned, and that is what makes me love him all the more. My 21st century mind may be irreverent, and let's face it, a little dirty, but when it comes to romance…uh…yeah…I want the prince to charge in on the white horse and sweep me up in his arms and kiss me senseless. (Of course in my childhood fantasy, I never considered that he would be the Prince of _darknes_s). Ah well, "life is all about surprises," to quote the flake that calls herself Mom. I wonder what crazy Renee would make of this situation? Knowing her, she'd probably wave some burning sage over me, stick a candle in my ear to draw out the negative energy, and then promptly fall in love with Edward herself. Like I said, _flake._

God, I miss her!

Anyway, he left me twenty minutes ago to get wood for a fire and has yet to return. I'm feeling chilled and kind of grungy. I realize that I haven't actually had a real shower since the night of my birthday party, only an airplane bath. (This, according to Emmett, means you clean under the wings and inside the cockpit. Edward got totally pissed at him when he told me this one. Hee-hee…I _love _it!

I decide that this would probably be a good time for me to take a quick shower, so I gather up my dishes, put them in the sink, and head up the stairs to Edward's room. Once there, I go over to his bureau, grab my overnight tote that has my shampoo and body wash, and head to the bathroom. I turn on the shower, let the water heat up, and I undress quickly. I don't want to take any longer than I have to because he is probably already back and making the fire downstairs.

I step inside the shower and let the water soak into my skin. Ahhh! God, it feels sooo good! I shampoo and condition my hair with my lavender and freesia shampoo. The scent of lavender always relaxes me. I close my eyes for a moment so I can lose myself in the fragrance, and I feel the stress melt off me. I look up and see a sponge hanging on the shower caddy, and I take it down and apply my strawberry scented body wash to it. To be honest, I am getting kind of sick of this smell, and I am dying to try some of the new ones that Caress has come out with. However, Edward seems to be very hung up on this particular scent, so I'm sticking with it for the time being. Sigh. What we girls do for love! I lather myself up quickly, careful not to get my stitches wet. My arm is still a little sore, but it's not too bad. I wonder who'll end up taking the stitches out now that Carlisle has left. Oh well, I'll ask Edward about that later.

Edward. Oh God…I still can't believe that I am no closer to learning the truth about his big decision. Will he go, or will he stay…THAT is the question. I think about earlier tonight when I could have made that decision for him, and I exhale noisily. I know Rosalie would kick my ass if she saw me putting the brakes on Edward's lovemaking in the back of my truck at good old FHS. And honestly, there is a part of me that wants to kick my own ass for stopping him. But…if I have to be honest…I don't want it to happen that way. As much as I want to be able to give myself to him fully in EVERY way, I want it to be a mutual desire. I don't want to seduce him to get him to stay. He is not a dog that needs to be neutered… he is the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but not at the expense of trapping him by using my feminine wiles. I want him to WANT to stay.

And yes, I admit, I hate being celibate. I have been on the pill since I was sixteen years old. Not because I planned on having sex, but because Renee had insisted. My mother got pregnant with me when she was eighteen years old, and she didn't want me to suffer the same fate. She really needn't have bothered; I didn't have a boyfriend when I lived in Phoenix, and I certainly don't have to worry about getting knocked up with Edward. Even if we did make love, it's not like he could father a child anyway. This thought makes me a little sad, for as much as I love Edward, I have always secretly wanted to be a mother someday. (But only if I can have a baby with _him.) _ And that is NEVER going to happen in a million years, given his condition. So I suck up this thought and push it in the back of my mind and decide to add this to the file I've labeled "to think about later." I decide to ask my doctor about going off the seasonal pills; too many health risks, and it's not worth it anyway.

I finish up in my shower and turn it off. Then I grab two of Edward's fluffy towels and wrap one around my wet head and the other around my body. I no sooner am about to open the door and grab my sleep pants and camisole from his bedroom, when I hear him yelling for me in the hallway. Just as I step out of the bathroom to holler back, the door is wrenched open by Edward. I look at his face and am shocked by what I see. His face is so full of emotion that I have trouble labeling which one it is that I see cross his features: is it anxiety, anguish, love, lust? It appears to be all of these and more. Before I have a chance to ask, he swoops down on me and grabs me up in a tight embrace.

"Edward, what's wro…" I try to ask, but his lips are on mine before I know it, and he is swallowing my words with his mouth.

EPOV

I enter the house and go into the kitchen expecting to find Bella there. But she's nowhere in sight. I hear the sound of water running and realize it's coming from upstairs. She must be in the shower! I all but fly up the stairs in my haste to reach her.

I smell the wonderful aroma of strawberries and freesia that is the fragrance of my beautiful girl. Her scent is now so familiar to me that it smells like home. I immediately run to my bedroom, crying her name out loud. She opens the door and I see her, she is so pink and lovely and warm.

My breath is hitching, and I am panting and shaking as I reach out for her. I grab her up in my arms and hug her tightly to my chest. She is trying to speak, but I can't wait for her words. I swoop down and plant my mouth on hers, smothering her with the first of many kisses. I can't seem to control myself; she is so sweet and so loving and so _Bella._ I almost lost MY angel today. I almost fucking lost her! And I can't wait another minute to tell her, to tell her how much I love her, that I can't live without her, and that I will never, ever, leave her. But I can't find my words, I am too overcome, so I give up on trying to articulate in words, and decide that my body will have to communicate all of my thoughts and desires.

I carry Bella over to the bed, and I lay her down. I am kissing her lips, her eyes, her temples, her cheeks, her collar bones. I can't seem to stop. She returns my kisses but looks bemused; I need to calm down before I overwhelm her and possibly hurt her. I halt my kisses, put my forehead down on her heart, and try to stop my heaving.

"Edward… Baby… what's wrong?" Bella is holding my head close to her heart now and is stroking my hair softly. I look up at her, and I kiss her softly on her mouth. I gather her up, towel and all, and push us up back on the bed. I lean against the massive headboard with Bella pressed next to my side, and hug her close. She struggles to sit up, but I simply can't let her go.

"Edward, you're scaring me! What's going on?" Her face is puzzled, and her hands have my chin between them as she tries to make eye contact with my own. Once more, I find my arms wrap around her as I am swept away with emotion.

"I'm so sorry Bella," I finally manage to squeak out. "I'm so sorry for everything! Do you know how much I love you? Do you? Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? You are everything to me Bella, _everything_! If anything were to ever happen to you…if I ever lost you…I _wouldn't _want to live anymore! I _couldn't!_ I have been such an ass! If I live to be over a thousand years old I can never tell you how much you have meant to me. I was so lonely Bella. So damn _lonely_! And then you came into my world, and you brought love and beauty and happiness into my life. I haven't felt that before, Bella. I never knew. I never _knew!"_

At this point I am so distraught that I can't seem to shut off my own faucet; the words are literally pouring out of my mouth. But Bella puts her finger to my lips and presses it softly, and suddenly I stop. Her gesture is so sweet; sweeter still because as she presses her finger against me, she leans in and kisses me ever so gently on the side of my mouth, and tells me to hush. I feel myself calm down and I begin to relax into her arms which are now holding me close to her heart. I look up into her beautiful brown eyes, and she looks back at me with love. She presses her forehead into mine and asks once again if I'm okay, and I nod lightly against her brow.

"Okay, then. You need to tell me what happened because you're really starting to freak me out. Now I want you to tell me calmly, using your words, exactly what it is that has you so worked up, okay?" She is speaking to me calmly and enunciating slowly, as if she were speaking to a small child. I take a deep breath, and begin to speak.

"When I went outside to get the wood for the fire, I spotted another letter. It was in a plastic bag, lying on top of the wood pile."

"Who was the letter from?" she asks gently.

"Emmett," I reply.

"Emmett?"

"Yes."

"Seriously…a letter from _Emmett_ has you all shook up? Are you kidding me? I didn't even know he could write," she jokes.

I chuckle a bit with her, but his words are still ringing in my head, and I don't want to do him the disservice by tainting his letter with humor. It seems inappropriate, given the circumstances.

"I know Emmett is not always the most articulate of men, but this letter was different, Bella. This letter was, well, an eye opener for me."

"Are you serious, even more so than Jasper's?" she asks. She is right to ask, for I know without a clear explanation regarding the contents of his letter, it would be beyond her understanding. So I sit up and pluck his letter out of my pocket and offer it to her. She takes it from me gently and raises an eyebrow for assurance that it is acceptable for her to read it. I nod my head in encouragement.

She takes the letter, rises up, and goes to the dresser. She comes back with both the letter and her brush. She sits back on the bed and removes the towel from her head and shakes out her long dark tresses. I lean over to her and take the brush out of her hand, and begin to brush her hair gently.

"Is this okay?" I ask.

"Yes."

She settles back on the bed with me. I begin to brush her hair while she proceeds to read the letter. If I thought removing her jeans was intimate, the act of brushing of her hair is even more so. I stop when I hear her first giggle.

"Oh, my God!" she laughs. "I can't believe he called you stupid and a stick in the mud." She reads further. "Oh, no he didn't…! He did _not _say you were 'fucked' did he?" she asks rhetorically. I grimace. I really hate the sound of that word coming out of her mouth. My sweet girl has never used foul language in her life; I can't even fathom what she must be thinking by Emmett's liberal use of the F word. I myself rarely use it, and never in the presence of a lady.

"Perhaps I should read his letter to you out loud?" I inquire with a raised eyebrow.

"What, and have you edit? No way! This is too good," she fairly cackles.

"But his language...his choice of words. I don't want you to be offended," I try to clarify.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I _love _the word 'Fuck.'"

"You do?" I ask, trying to process this information. I am aghast, yet oddly aroused. I shift myself discreetly from her side.

"Yep."

Okay, the atmosphere has changed dramatically from angst to…_humor_? Oh well, once she keeps on reading her mood is apt to change yet again. So I keep my mouth closed, and only hum. She settles back, now in my arms. I put down the brush, and let her get comfortable on my chest. She continues to read, and I listen to the changes in her heart. I watch her expressions go through the full gamut of emotions. One minute she is laughing, and then she is sighing. When she gets to the part about his human drama in the woods, she begins to weep softly. I hug her comfortingly. But when she nears the end of his letter, the part about his attempted visit to bid her goodbye and his subsequent encounter with the 'red headed bitch' he destroyed in her honor, she bursts into tears. I am overcome by her reaction, and I find myself shaking. I turn to her, take her in my arms, and we lie down side by side, breathing each other in and holding each other close.

"Do you see now, why I returned to you so upset?" I ask. "Oh, Bella! I could have lost you! I could have LOST you!"

"Shhh, baby. You didn't lose me. See, I'm here. I'm fine," she tries to reassure me. But I am beyond reassurance at this point. I need to express the agony I feel about having nearly abandoned her. I need to beg my forgiveness. And most importantly I need to reassure her that I am a changed man and that I will never leave her. But I can't seem to locate the right words to articulate to her the depth of my anguish. So, as before, I use my body to communicate my needs. The only words that come out of my mouth are, _I love you_ which I find myself repeating to her over and over again.

"Bella," I groan. "I love you so much. I love you. I love you… Please, Bella, _Please…_ let me show you how much I love you."

She looks up at me then and her lips capture mine in the sweetest of kisses. But before long, I feel the sweetness turn to desire, and I am once again caught in the throes of passion and love.

BPOV

I am lying in Edward's arms and am overcome with desire. Oh my God…he is kissing me and telling me he loves me, over and over again. And I am telling him I love him; I love him so much. And he is begging me now to forgive him, and I tell him; I do. I forgive him. And then he is asking me if he can show me how much he loves me, how badly he wants me. And I want this. I want him to show me how much he loves me. And I want to show him how much I love him, need him, and desire him. I am so utterly in love with him. So I look into his eyes, which are hooded and dark as night, and I nod my head.

"Show me."

And he does.

He reaches over to his lamp, shuts it off, and turns to me. His face is shadowed, but beautiful. I can see the planes of his carved cheekbones, and the sharp curve of his jaw. I trace one finger tentatively over his cold marble lips, and he lets out a small moan.

He lifts his shirt over his head, and I find myself gasping. Though I've seen his chest before, it was only one time. It was the first time we went to our meadow. I remember he was trying to ward me away from him…how he tried to scare me by showing how his skin sparkled in the sunlight. I wasn't afraid of him then, and I am not afraid of him now. I am stunned. His body is so achingly beautiful in the moonlight that is streaming through his window. I take my hand and run it over his chest, and he gasps. He lets me move my hands over the muscles of his chest and down his abdomen. He picks up my hand, holds it to his mouth, and kisses my fingers, one by one.

He leans me back against the pillows, and I close my eyes as he tenderly opens my towel. I sense him pause for a moment, and I hear him hiss softly. He takes his hand and caresses the length of my body, ever so softly. I close my eyes and moan. He kisses my lips briefly and softly, and then he trails his kisses down my neck to my collar bones where he applies a soft suction and then an even softer kiss.

His mouth finds his way to my breasts and I sense him pause, before his lips descend. He kisses each nipple delicately and runs his cool tongue in my cleavage. He presses his face between my breasts, and I hear him let out a small whimper.

His face rises just then, and he continues to trace my body with his hands and his mouth. Though his kisses are cool, my skin is burning under his touch. Fire and Ice.

He is worshiping me, and I am overcome with desire and love. I want to touch him; I want to feel him, too. But as I reach out to touch him, he stills me with his hands.

"Bella," he groans. "Please…let me…let me love _you_ first."

And I do.

He whispers bashfully in my ear that he has never touched a woman intimately before. And I nearly swoon. Can he BE any sweeter? He trails his hand down my naked body and rests it lightly just above my pubic bone. He looks at me shyly for confirmation, and I smile and nod my head.

"Bella," he moans. "You are so beautiful..." his voice fades off. His hand is now on my lips, which are swollen and drenched with my arousal. I feel his cool fingers part them and he is there; he is there! And, oh my God…it feels so good. He is moaning even louder than I am as he presses soft kisses into my neck, and works his magic fingers into my hot center. I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the clenching of my orgasm rapidly approach. And then I am there…I'm coming and coming, and I let out a long drawn out moan that should embarrass the hell out of me. But it doesn't. Because I realize that it's not me who made that moan. It's HIM. My Edward is moaning and groaning as I reach my climax.

"Oh God, Bella!" he groans. "I want you so badly."

"Then have me," I whisper in his ear.

He pulls his jeans off so fast that my eyes don't really have time to process it. But I see him…oh yes, I SEE him! And he is beautiful and naked and glorious. I've never seen a naked man before, and I gasp as my eyes drink him in. His legs are long but muscular, and I realize that for as long as I've known him I have never seen his legs before. But it's what's between those legs that make me gasp aloud. His arousal is large, thick, and heavy. My stomach clenches in anticipation…and I admit it…fear. I have never touched a man, and I am a little afraid. But I want to…oh God…I WANT to.

"Edward, I want to touch you…will you let me?"

"Yes," he whispers shyly.

"Will you help me?" I ask hesitantly.

He doesn't say anything. He takes my hand, places it on his erection, and lays his hand over mine. He squeezes both our hands gently. Oh God…I realize am holding my breath, and I let it out in a series of short huffs. I am holding _a man_…and I've never felt more like a woman than I do right now, in this very moment.

After a bit, he releases his hand and allows me to explore him on my own. I run my hand over his length. I'm a little shy, but the happy sounds and sighs he's making encourages me to continue. It isn't as smooth as I would have guessed; there are ridges and veins in its depths. And the skin…the skin is _so soft_, like velvet over steel. I work my hand up to the tip, and I trace the head of it ever so lightly. I sense his stomach muscles hitch, and I hear him suck in a sharp breath. I feel bolder now so I squeeze the tip of him a bit harder, and I notice a bit of moisture seep out. I run this over the head and down his shaft.

I have NO idea what I am doing, but I figure I must be doing something right because he lets out another long moan, turns to me, and kisses me hard. Our tongues meet and caress each other. He is careful not to let me anywhere near his sharp teeth, and I am suddenly reminded that he is in fact a vampire, so I break off our kiss, put my mouth to his ear, and ask him if he's okay. He whispers back that he is in control, kisses me ever so sweetly, and thanks me.

"Bella?" he asks softly. "_Do you_ want…I love you _so much_…will you let…can I…I mean…_may I_ …make love to you?"

Swoon!

"Yes."

"Oh, Bella..."

He settles himself over me, but he is careful not to put his full weight on me, and he braces himself with his arm. His other hand is caressing my hip, and I feel him gently part my legs. I open them as wide as I can to receive him. I feel his hand stroke and caress me as he poises himself at my entrance.

"Are you sure, Bella? I don't want to hurt you. I couldn't bear it if I did."

"I'm sure," I whisper back.

He whispers he loves me, and shyly reminds me that he's never done this before. I reassure him with a soft kiss, and I thread my hands in his hair. He takes a deep breath and I feel him enter me, slowly... And, yes...it's tight...so tight...but, oh God…it doesn't hurt…it feels good. So good. When he reaches my barrier I sense him hesitate a moment. Then he rears back, and with a quick, but sharp thrust, he pierces through my hymen.

Sayonara, Tokyo Rose…

I feel a stinging sensation, but this is quickly replaced by a feeling of warmth and completeness. And he feels it, too, I can tell by his soft kisses and his murmurs of love. He calls me his angel...

He doesn't move at first, instead he puts his mouth to my ear and asks me in a whisper if I am all right.

And I am. I most definitely am! I don't know if it's due to his coldness against my heat, or if it's sheer dumb luck, but it really doesn't hurt. It feels _amazing. _

Our pelvises are flush against each other, and I am dying to have him move in me. I gently squeeze the cheeks of his behind and press him to me firmly.

He lets out a groan, and I feel him thrust gently. I move my hips up in encouragement and continue to squeeze and knead his bottom. He grunts in response and wraps my legs around his thighs.

And now we're getting somewhere!

He moves in me slowly at first, then with long, firm strokes, and I rise up to meet him thrust for thrust. It's awkward at first; we can't seem to get in synch. I open my eyes and see his face. His eyes are partly closed and his lips are moving silently as if he's praying.

_"I love…love…oh God, I love…"_ he trails off in a trance-like voice.

I laugh a little…I'm so overwhelmed by it all. He opens his eyes and smiles as he swallows my laughter with a kiss and stills my mirth with a thrust of his hips.

Soon we find a rhythm, and the pleasure I feel is magnified by his whispered words of love. I whisper back to him that I love him, too, so much.

I can smell his spicy scent, see the rise and fall of his chest, and feel the softness of his beautiful hair. Our chests are pressed so close that my heart is beating for us both. We are in our own private world, just the two of us. I want this to be forever.

I hear his breathing change. He is panting and moaning. I realize that he must be getting close to his release. The thought of this is enough to set off my own response, and I feel the knot tighten and quicken. I climax with a shudder and a deep groan. My hands pull and tug on his hair, and he smothers his face in my neck as I continue to quake in his arms. I didn't think that would happen the first time, but it DID…it really did! And oh God…it feels so good!

I'm suddenly aware that he feels harder than ever, and even though I am still clenching in response to my own release, I feel yet another small spasm, as he thrusts once more sharply inside me. He stills his hips, and lets out a low growl that is long, deep, and unbelievably erotic.

I see his face…his beautiful face... which is contorting and straining, change to an expression that is full of wonder, and then, rapture. He reaches down between us, takes my left hand in his, and laces his fingers between us. He grabs the headboard with his free hand and _whoosh_… I feel his climax release deep inside of me. He is still gasping and is kissing me over and over. I have never felt such love and satisfaction. My eyes sting with unshed tears.

Oh my God…we DID it!

He withdraws gently, collapses on his side, and pulls me close. I am covered in sweat and happiness.

He looks at me and asks me if I am all right. He seems anxious to make certain he hasn't hurt me. I reassure him that I am fine, and I kiss his nose as he snuggles me close to his heart.

I look up at him, and he smiles my favorite crooked smile. He takes my face gently in his hands and says:

"I'll _never_ leave you, Bella."

I burst into tears.

He looks at me in confusion.

"Oh, Fuck!"


	12. Chapter 12: Guilty as Charged

Chapter 12

Guilty as charged

EPOV

It's nearly 9:00 o'clock p.m. and I'm sitting outside of the bathroom door listening to Bella cry her heart out. She is inside said bathroom, pressed up against the door. She has been in there for the past thirty minutes, and despite my best efforts to convince her to let me in, she refuses. Every time I ask, I am refused.

I beg, but she tells me "No."

I plead, and she tells me to "Go away!"

I command, and she tells me to "Shut up!"

I tell her I love her, and she snorts. Loudly.

I threaten to take the door down, and she curses.

_Guess which one she says? I'll give you a small hint…it was followed by the word "YOU"..._

I sigh and scratch my head. I am suddenly reminded of my father's expression whenever my mother locked herself inside the bathroom with one of her occasional fits of ire that was usually directed towards my hapless father.

"Women."

I must have said it out loud because I hear her rear back, and she kicks the door.

That's going to leave a mark.

I sigh…

I honestly don't know what to do. We had just made love and it had been so wonderful…so magical. Christ…it was fucking UNBELIEVABLE (and there's that word again)…

I struggle to think back on what had to have been the best night of my ridiculously long life that has rendered her to be so upset. I am at a loss. I swear I cannot think of anything I could have said or done that has left her so bereft. Yet, there she is…locked up in there all alone, in the midst of what I believe is referred to as a _crying jag_.

But there has to be _something._

I close my eyes and go through the entire scene, play by play, in my flawless vampire mind.

Told her I loved her (24 times).

Told her I wanted her (17 times).

Told her I needed her (13 times).

Told her she was beautiful (9 times).

Asked her to forgive me (7 times).

Told her she was everything to me (2 times).

Told her I was an ass (1 time).

Told her I'd never leave her….

_Fuck!_

I never told her that before, or during…only _afterwards_. But still…she had to know that was what I meant when I told her how sorry I was…when I begged her forgiveness…when I told her she was everything to me…

Right?

I decide to 'man it up' (Emmett's words again) and make another attempt to get her to open the door.

"Bella?"

Nothing…

"Bella…Please…_please_…just open the damn door."

"NO!"

"Love, you told me earlier tonight that we have to talk to each other, remember? You told me that was the only way that relationships worked. You told me that I had to be honest with you. You told me…"

The door opens up a crack and I see her peering out at me.

"Are you going to let me in now?" I ask hopefully.

"No."

"No?"

"I'm coming out. But you need to go and sit down on your couch...NOT the bed. And put these on."

She tosses out my flannel "sleep" pants and an old track shirt that I sometimes wear after I've showered. I don't sleep, and I quit the track team after a few weeks because it frustrated me to have to pretend to run like a human. But these are my favorite house clothes since I've met Bella. I have no idea why…

I scoop the clothes up from the floor and thank her, and then I move over to the other side of the door and slip them on.

"Are you decent?" she asks.

I stifle a laugh.

"Yes."

"Then go over to my overnight bag and get me my pajamas…and DON"T forget my underwear."

I chuckle quietly but do as I am told. I walk over to the door and I hand them to her outstretched hand. She snatches them from me and slams the door closed.

I sigh…

"Go sit on the couch," she commands.

I go sit on the couch and let out another long sigh.

Here we go…

I hear her open the door and I look up and see her approach me slowly. Her face is red and blotchy and her eyes are swollen. She has a wad of toilet paper balled up in her hand, and I see her swipe it across her nose. My heart wrenches…I start to rise up and go to her but she stops me with her outstretched hand.

"No…don't get up," she barks out.

I sit back down on the sofa and wait for her to speak.

Waiting…

Waiting…

Waiting…

Finally she approaches the foot of the bed and sits down on its edge. She looks at me warily and then she gives her shoulders a little shrug.

I can't take it anymore. I decide to end the silence that is ringing in my ears.

"Bella…for the love of all that is _holy_…will you PLEASE tell me what's wrong. I can't bear this any longer…I LOVE you. Please…whatever it is…you HAVE to tell me, so I can make it right."

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's not you…it's me."

And cue Dr. Phil…

"Bella…" I give a little frustrated laugh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"And will you please stop doing THAT?" she asks sarcastically.

"Doing what, love?"

"Stop pinching your nose. It makes me think I smell bad."

_What?_

"Edward…I'm so sorry. I feel so horrible right now. I've…I've… _ruined_ EVERYTHING!"

She starts to wail, and I see her turn her face and collapse on the bed. I jump up and am at her side in a flash. I scoop her up in my arms and hug her close. She is crying and protesting and she even pounds my chest a few times, but I don't let her go. I can't let her go. I won't…

"Sweetheart, whatever it is…you can tell me." I stroke her hair and rub small circles on her back, in an effort to comfort her.

"Is it…is it because I forgot to tell you that I wasn't leaving you... before we made love?" I attempt to guess.

"No." She sniffles.

"No? Then, what?"

"It's because you ARE _staying!_" she sobs into my chest.

_What?_

"Bella…do you _want_ me to go?" I ask quietly…my heart breaking.

"No! I WANT you to stay. But I want you to stay because you _want_ to stay…not because I MADE you stay."

_Huh? _

I dearly want to pinch my nose right now but I am actually afraid to do so…_._

"Bella…I'm sorry, sweetheart…but…you're losing me here. Explain this please…" I beg.

She looks up at me and sits herself up in my lap. We are both sitting on the edge of the bed and I scoot us back and settle us against the headboard. Jasper's bed is certainly getting broken in tonight, I think to myself ruefully. I notice the head board has a few deep gauges in it from our earlier encounter. Huh…you'd have thought I'd remember doing that…

I wait for her to speak, and I try to tenderly wipe a few tears from her wet cheeks.

"Edward, I lied to you today when I told you I didn't know about the battery cables."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"And I lied to you today when you asked me how I knew you were leaving. I told you I overheard Mrs. Cope say that your school records were being transferred and that wasn't true."

"I know..."

"Alice told me you were going to leave me this morning."

"I know, Bella. I figured that out as soon as you took me into the woods."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Oh…"

"Bella….I know all about Alice and Rosalie's little intervention. I figured all of this out this afternoon. Is this really what has you so upset? Did you honestly think I would be angry at you because you chose to keep quiet in order to protect them? I assure you that they know me well enough to realize that I was well aware of their visit. Even if you hadn't taken me into the woods I would have known. Their smell was all over your room, love."

Silence…

"Edward…Rosalie told me something this morning. Something about vampires…"

Ahhh…NOW we're getting somewhere!

"What did she say, sweetheart? Whatever it is…you can tell me. I promise I won't be angry or upset," I offer.

"Yes you will," she sniffs.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

"Well…it really doesn't matter now anyway…" she sobs into my chest. "It's not like you're going to be _able_ to leave me anyhow…even if you do want to!"

I finally break down and give in to the urge to pinch my nose and let out a frustrated snarl. This woman is going to be the death of me yet…

Just as I am about to speak she opens her mouth and the words start pouring out of her like vomit. I strain my vampire ears to keep up but it's more difficult than one would imagine. Her speech is punctuated by sobs and sniffles and is spoken mostly into my chest.

"Rosalie told me that once" (sob)

"a vampire" (choke) "makes...love" (sniffle)

"hecanneverleave…" (sob!)

"shetoldmeifIwantyoutostaythat..." (sniff!)

"Ihavetoseduceyou..." (snort!)

"..." (weep!)

_Translating now in my vampire decoder:_

_**Rosalie told me that once a vampire makes love, he can never leave. She told me if I want you to stay that I have to seduce you. And now I did and you can never leave me.**_

Aha! And NOW we know the rest of the story, Paul Harvey!

"Bella," I struggle not to laugh. "You DIDN'T seduce me!"

"I didn't?" she mumbles into my chest.

"No…you didn't. Silly girl…we made LOVE…and it was beautiful. It was the most amazing and wonderful and magical experience of my life."

"It was?" she sniffs.

"Yes."

"It was for me too," she sniffs. "But it still doesn't change anything. You still don't have any _choice_ now. I took that away from you!"

"Bella, look at me," I command softly. She lifts her lovely tear filled eyes to mine, and my heart breaks a little more for her; she is so sweetly mistaken in her assumption. I have to set her straight. I cannot let her go on feeling this absurd sense of guilt. God, I'd love to get my hands on Rose's neck right now. Arggghhh!

"Sweetheart, I was never going to be able to leave you anyway."

"You weren't?"

"No… How could I ever leave my Bella? Don't you know by now how much I love you? How much I need you?" I sigh into her hair and try to come up with something…ANYTHING to make her understand the depth of my feelings.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. If I were to leave you, the meteor would fall over the horizon, and everything would go black. Nothing will have changed, but my eyes would be blinded by the light. I won't see the stars anymore. And there will be no more reason for anything."

There is a long pause as I sit here patiently, holding my breath awaiting her response. I hear a little sob…oh, God…I've made her cry again. I hold her against me and pat her back. But wait…she is NOT crying…is she…is she…_laughing _at me?

"That's the _cheesiest_ thing I ever heard, Edward," she giggles.

I look at her stunned, but when I catch sight of her beautiful face now filled with mirth, I am flooded with relief. I find myself starting to chuckle.

"I know…but I had to come up with something…cut me a little slack, love. I'm desperate here!"

We both dissolve into laughter. And fall back on the bed. I kiss her hair and breathe a huge sigh of relief. I think…I HOPE that we're finally getting to the bottom of this absurd comedy of errors.

"So, you're not just staying with me because you HAVE to?" she asks hesitantly, the sound of her soft laughter is fading like a memory.

"No, sweetheart. I'm staying with you because I _want_ to be with you…now…and _forever."_

"Forever?"

"Yes…"

"So does that mean you'll change me, then?"

I hesitate to answer her because I honestly haven't thought this part through. But I know in my heart that I cannot live an eternity without her, and she is far too vulnerable and fragile to exist with me in my world as a human.

"Edward?" she prompts.

"Bella…you know how much I love you, right?"

"I…I think so," she offers timidly.

I take her chin and lift it up so her eyes meet mine.

"Bella, I am completely and utterly in love with you. Never doubt that."

"I know, Edward. I know. I feel the same way as you do," she says sweetly and assuredly.

"And you know I cannot bear to think I am destroying your soul. So I am asking you to give me a little time with this decision. I know you believe that you want to live with me forever, but you are only eighteen years old. Your human life is just beginning…I cannot ask you to give that all up for me. What about college? What about your parents?…What about…children?"

"Edward, I don't want any of those things if I can't have them with you. Besides…we CAN go to college as vampires…you've done it yourself several times," she argues.

"Yes, that's true. Maybe we can go away to college. But what about Charlie…and your mother? Have you thought about what that would mean to them? You are their only child, Bella. It would kill them to lose you."

"I know it would, Edward. But here's the thing. As much as I love my parents, I never planned on living with either of them forever. They're my PARENTS, Edward…not my husband."

_Husband?_

For a moment I am so overcome with the thought of being Bella's husband that I can barely think straight. Images of her gliding down the aisle flood my imagination. I can see her dark hair swept back softly…she is a vision in white tulle and lace…the scent of orange blossoms fills my senses…

"Edward?"

I shake my head in an effort to rid myself of this ridiculous fantasy; there is no way on earth that Bella would agree to marry me. Would she? I think of my mother's ring hidden in my keepsake box, and I sigh. Maybe…just maybe…she would consider such a proposal…someday. I sigh…

"I'm sorry, love. I allowed myself to get distracted. Where were we? Ah yes…well, what about _children?_ Don't you want to have a baby some day?" I ask sadly. The image of a baby with Bella's dark hair and perhaps my green eyes (a vestige from my humanity) comes startlingly to mind. What I wouldn't give to make that a reality.

"Edward, _no_…I would only EVER want to have a baby if it was _your _baby. I couldn't even imagine having anyone else's. And since we know that's not possible…then, no, I don't want to have children," she says pointedly. She takes me by surprise when she reaches up and kisses me sweetly on my temple. I am overcome at her confession; I want to weep at her words. _My baby_…she would only ever want _my baby…._

"Okay…why don't we do this? Let's hold off on making any kind of a decision regarding this subject until we've had time to really think things through. I'm not saying _no_…I just think we've been through an awful lot in the last 24 hours and we both could use a break from the drama."

"Okay," she agrees happily.

Whew! If I were a human this would be certainly an occasion for a drink and a smoke…

I lean forward to give her a kiss, but she pulls back and makes a face.

"I'm all sweaty and nasty, Edward," she complains.

I sigh and give her a hug and kiss her hair and decide that our talk has taken a toll on her; she looks positively exhausted. This has been the longest day of my life, so I can only imagine how emotionally draining it must be for her.

"Bella, why don't I run you a nice warm bubble bath? Then you can get inside this enormous and comfortable bed and get cozy and have some sleep?"

"Oh God, that sounds sooo good. Will you take a bath with me?" she asks shyly.

I feel myself harden at her suggestion but I know how tired she is, and how sore she is likely to be, so I decide to say no.

"Don't say no, Edward. _Please_…" She nudges my shoulder playfully.

Drat! I can never refuse her when she says please.

"Okay…"

I give her a small kiss on the tip of her nose and head over to the bathroom to fill the tub. I don't have any bubble bath, but I spy her body wash on the counter and squirt some of that in the tub. The scent of ripe strawberries fills the room. I look under the sink and pull out a large votive candle that Esme stores under there for when we have guests and she wants to create some ambiance. I want to make this bath extra special for Bella…I wish I had some rose petals to sprinkle on the water. Oh well, there will be other occasions for that romantic gesture, hopefully in the future.

I light the candle and go back out to the room. Bella is looking over my music collection. I see her pop in a CD, and Debussy's Clair De Lune fills the air. Excellent choice!

BPOV

Edward just left me to go prepare our bath, and I hear my cell phone vibrate; it's a text message from Alice. I glance down and see her text…thank God she and I both have the new styles where we don't have to abbreviate! She is much too long winded and my fingers are pretty clumsy…

**Bella…are you ok, now?**

**Yes!**

**OMG…you DID it!**

**I know…can you believe it! Did you **_**see**_** everything?**

**Girl, please! Not a perv! How's Edward…it was a BIG deal for him!**

**He's wonderful…now!**

**Okay…enjoy your bath.**

**No PEEKING!**

**Ewww! ;(**

I hang up the phone and go over to Edward's CD collection. Sheesh! This guy certainly has a variety of music here. I look through his humongous collection and my hand grabs the first CD it touches. It's Debussy! Deciding that it's a sign, I pop it in his player and the strains of Claire De Lune begin to play.

"Bella?"

I look up and see Edward walk towards me. The moonlight casts an unearthly glow around him and I gasp; he looks more like an angel than a man. I am reminded just then of his beautiful face as he climaxed inside me. I have never seen anything as heartbreakingly beautiful as his face in that moment. I feel a few throbs in my groin…and a little pain too. Even though it didn't really hurt while he was making love to me, I am feeling the after effects of his larger than life _you know what_. I blush at the memory.

"The bath's ready, Bella." He walks over to me and takes my hand. We start to walk over to the bathroom, but he suddenly stops, pulls me close to him, and wraps his arms around me. I look up at him, and he dips his face down and gives me a soft kiss, then ducks his head in the crook of my neck. We begin to sway to the music….

"I love you, Bella," he whispers in my ear.

"I love you too, Edward. So much," I whisper back.

We dance slowly for a few more minutes and it's amazing; I don't even stumble once or step on his toes!

We walk over to his bathroom and enter…the scent of my strawberry body wash hits me immediately.

"You really LOVE that smell, don't you?" I tease.

"Yes, it smells like Bella…and home," he replies sheepishly.

Okay…guess that squashes any thoughts I might have about trying something new!

We remove each other's clothes shyly…we're still not completely comfortable being naked with each other yet, and I wonder briefly how long it takes for couples to get to that point. Then we get inside the tub. He steps in first and settles himself against the back of the tub and I climb in and rest my back against his knees. His cool skin is warming in the hot suds, and he feels so good. He shifts slightly, and one of his knees feels knobby against my spine.

"Edward, your knee is poking my back," I say, looking at him over my shoulder.

"Um…That's not my knee, Bella," he laughs in embarrassment.

"Oh…" I giggle back. We laugh together at this and I lean back against his chest, settling between his legs. I can feel his erection pressing against my back, and I squirm in response.

"Um, Bella…unless you plan on taking a shower after we've had our bath I think you'd better stop that," he chuckles in my hair.

"That's okay…I don't mind if you don't. Besides…I like knowing I can stir you up," I tease.

He splashes a little water at me then and playfully tickles my side. I turn around and face him. I can see the prominence of his erection…it's sticking straight up out of the bath water and is covered by suds. The sight of this cracks me up and I completely lose it! I can't stop laughing at him…

"Edward…your tally whacker is saluting me!"

He looks up at me and bursts out laughing.

"My WHAT?" he chokes out.

"Your tally whacker," I deadpan.

"Where on earth did you come up with that expression, Bella? I haven't heard anyone use that term since I was a boy!" He is laughing hard now.

"I read a lot."

"Oh."

"Why…what do _you_ call it?" I ask archly.

"I don't call it anything. If I have to refer to it at all I guess I'd call it my…penis."

"Penis!" I shout. "That sounds so vulgar…ugh!"

"Penis sounds vulgar?" he laughs back.

"Yep…it does to me."

"Hmmm… I never thought it sounded vulgar…maybe a bit medical though," he contemplates.

"Don't you have a name for it? I thought all guys named their, _appendages,"_ I joke

"Well, I certainly never did!" he laughs.

"Well…I am not going to call it your _penis_..."

"Okay…this is the weirdest conversation I've ever had in all of my existence. But I'll bite…what would you like to call it?" he asks incredulously.

"Oh…I've already named it," I reply saucily.

"I'm afraid to ask…"

"_Mr. Masen_."

"What!" He is shaking his head and I swear I hear him giggling. No one has _EVER_ made Edward Cullen giggle that I'm aware of. This fills me with feminine pride.

"Yep…he is _MY _Mr. Masen. My new _suitor," _I inform him with a wink. Then I take my finger and run it from the base of his penis (ugh, I really DO hate that word!) to the tip, where I circle the slit. He lets out a long moan.

"Bellaaa…what are you up to now?" he murmurs throatily. Ummm…I LOVE that sound.

"Why Edward Cullen, I thought you were supposed to be so smart…surely an intelligent vampire such as yourself ought to be able to figure out what I am up to," I tease playfully. I place my hand over his length, and I continue to stroke him slowly, up and down. I see his legs shaking under the bath water and his chest rise and fall rapidly. I lean forward and whisper in his ear, "Let go, Edward."

He does…in rapid succession, coming all over my chest.

"Mmmm, Bella…" he groans, his eyes closed tightly.

I look at the pearly liquid curiously; I wonder what it tastes like? Since his eyes are closed I decide to give it a try. Huh! It tastes like soap and smells like Ajax. My mouth puckers. Hmmm… I thought it would taste sweet…like his breath. My mistake…

Edward pops his eyes open. "Bella…did you _taste_ me?" he asks in disbelief.

Aw, crap…foiled again! "Yeah," I reply, blushing madly.

"Hmmm, that's…sexy," he purrs. "What do I taste like?" he asks huskily.

"Um, like cinnamon and vanilla," I lie sweetly. Ignorance is bliss…

He looks at me with hooded eyes and reaches out to my chest and sweeps off a bit of his liquid and licks it off his long, elegant fingers. Now THAT is HAWT!

"Ugh!" he grimaces. I burst out laughing, and he grabs me and tickles my sides, causing me to laugh harder. This is the BEST bath I've ever taken, that's for sure!

Edward pulls me close and gives me a hard, wet, kiss and tells me again how much he loves me. I tell him that I think Mr. Masen loves me even more. He throws his head back and laughs. I bend down and unplug the stopper, and drain the bath water. Once it's drained I turn the water back on and let the tub fill up again.

"So much for conserving water," I say, arching my brow.

We both giggle a bit over this and then I reach over and grab my shampoo from the ledge. I tell Edward to turn around.

"Why?" he asks.

"I want to wash your hair."

"Bella, my hair doesn't really need to be washed. Vampire…remember?"

"You don't have to wash your hair?" I ask, confused.

"No, vampires don't actually need to shampoo because we don't produce oil or sweat. We usually just rinse off," he informs me.

"But I really want to… _Please_…."

"Okay," he agrees. I smirk; yeah that's right Vamp-man…I said the magic word. Heh-heh…

I squeeze some water over him with the sponge and apply a bit of shampoo to his hair and lather it up good. I can tell he likes it because I can hear him purr a little. I don't mention this to him though because I don't want to embarrass him. I think his hair might be my favorite part about him. Next to his tally whacker, that is…

"I love your hair," I whisper, kissing him behind his ear.

"You do?" he asks.

"Yep."

"Are you going to name my hair too?" he teases.

I laugh at him and rinse his hair. He turns me around and washes mine too. It is so relaxing. Is there anything better than having someone wash your hair for you? Ahhh!

We get out of the tub and dry each other off tenderly. I slip back into my jammies, but I don't put my panties back on. I walk over to the hamper and stuff them in with the towel I'd worn just before we'd made love. It has a small bloody stain on it...as do my underwear. I hope he isn't looking, and I give him a quick glance. Naturally, he's been watching my every move.

He comes over to me and wraps his arms around me and asks me in a whisper if I'm sore. I whisper back and ask him if the blood bothers him. He shakes his head into my neck and murmurs that it doesn't. I tell him that I am a little sore, and he offers to get me some Tylenol. He reminds me that he needs to replace my bandage too…which I have gotten wet from our bath.

"I'm going to run down to Carlisle's office and see if he left any of his bandages and surgical tape behind."

He gives me a soft kiss on the side of my face, and I watch him leave the room; his strong back is naked and so ruggedly broad. Mmm…hurry back with those bandages vamp-man!

I walk back to the bed and crawl between the sheets. I lay my head down on the fluffy pillows and feel something poking out of it. I pull it out. It is a long white goose feather, and I marvel at its silky texture. It reminds me of Edward's hair…I think I'll save this feather as a little memento. I close my eyes and sigh.

And for the first time in a long time…I feel at peace…

**Authors note: Whew! These two are such damn drama queens...yikes! I certainly hope that they're done with all of their angst.**

**Reviews are better than Tylenol PM...but not as good as a wake up call from "Mr. Masen." Reviewers get a visit from the tally whacker...leave us some love! **

**BTW...Tally whacker was in fact a widely used term for the you-know-what at the turn of the last century.**


	13. Chapter 13: Bedtime Stories

**AN: This chapter is beta'd by Giving Up Forever. Kim You are wonderful, and are so much appreciated!**

Chapter 13

Bed time stories

EPOV

I leave Bella, who is getting her "jammies" on, and head downstairs to fetch the Tylenol and the bandages from Carlisle's office. I hope he didn't pack up all of his supplies. Then again, knowing Alice, I imagine she had the forethought to make certain he wouldn't.

I get to the office, but before I go in I let out a big sigh. Honestly, even though it is impossible for vampires to feel physical exhaustion, I am emotionally spent. This has been longest and most emotional day of my entire existence. But it has also been the most phenomenal experience as well.

I made _LOVE_ today. I am not a VIRGIN anymore! And most importantly…I DIDN'T hurt Bella!

I can't help the ridiculous smile that is spreading across my face. I want to run through the forest and climb up the tallest pine there, and scream out, "I am king of the world!" Yes…just like Leonardo DiCaprio did in Titanic. I let out a big laugh and practically do a little jig. I am so damn happy!

Of course…the aftermath of our lovemaking was less than desirable. Christ…_that _was a real scene. I swear I never thought I'd be able to put us back together after the mess I'd created by forgetting to tell Bella that I had made up my mind not to leave her. But, all's well that ends well. After Bella opened up to me about Roses little tidbit about vampires mating for life, we talked and I told her that I had changed my plans to leave before we made love. This conversation led to laughter, then more talk about our future together, and culminated in one of the silliest bath time experiences I have ever had.

_Tally Whacker and Mr. Masen! _Jesus…where does she come up with this stuff?

Still chuckling I open his office door and walk over to his supply closet and grab the Tylenol and the bandages and tape. There is a little post it next to them.

_Congratulations brother of mine!_

_Take two pills and call me in the morning… haha!_

_Love,_

_Alice_

I smile and walk out of the closet, supplies in tow, when I spy a letter that is propped up on a medical textbook on Carlisle's desk. It is addressed to me.

_Edward,_

_I know the rest of our family has already either written to you or has intervened somehow in their respective quests to save you from ruining your chances at having a full and happy life. That is not the purpose of my letter._

_I wanted to share a few of my thoughts about my feeling towards you Edward…something that I believe is long overdue and much needed to be said._

_When I knew you in your human life Edward, I was struck by your caring and compassionate nature. You were such a delightful young man; so full of promise and hopes. You had a great sense of duty, both to your family and to your country. You were such a wonderful young man!_

_The first time we met was under very tragic circumstances, as well you know. I hesitate to remind you of that awful night…because it was so painful for you. Therefore, I won't go into any of the details that surround that particular evening, but I do want to encourage you to share the memory of that long ago event with Bella. I think you will find it to be very cathartic and healing if you do so._

_Edward…the last time we met while you were still a human, was when you were sick and dying of influenza. I want you to know that I never planned on changing you or anyone until that day. Even though I had been alone for over two centuries and I was as alone as a man could be, I never entertained the idea once… It seemed far too selfish to contemplate such a thought._

_Your mother, Elizabeth, begged me to save you. Her exact words were "Save him Doctor…what others cannot do…you MUST." I believe in the depths of my soul that she knew who and what I was, and I acted upon her words accordingly. I have never regretted my decision._

_I will state this again. I have never regretted my decision, though it has not always been easy to live with. Firstly, I felt the guilt of having made a decision that only God should ever make. However, I justified this in my heart because I had answered a mother's prayer. And secondly I did it because… well, I was damn lonely._

_Yes, I was lonely Edward, and I am not ashamed to admit it. By changing you I was finally able to assuage that loneliness. You brought so much joy to my life! Have I ever told you that? _

_Your humor, wit, decency, intelligence, and sense of purpose…all those are traits that you have carried with you from your first life to this and are much to be admired. Yet all of these wonderful attributes have been tinged with sorrow and loneliness. For you have had no one to share your wonderful self with intimately. And believe me I speak from experience._

_Although I had you Edward, and trust me, that was more than I had ever hoped for in my existence…I was still lonely. I discovered that being a father to you, though fulfilling, was not the only relationship a man needs. No…I craved intimacy and I needed comfort…the kind only a woman can provide. And I am not talking about sex, son. I am talking about love._

_After I met Esme I felt my life come full circle. She provided me with love, guidance, comfort, support, and passion. All of these things a man needs, Edward, if he is to survive in this world. And for a man to survive in our particular world it is even more important. As I believe Esme wrote to you and Bella…ours is indeed a bizarre and lonely world and one should venture into it alone._

_As the years passed we have added to our family; first Rose, then Emmett, and lastly Alice and Jasper. They all brought with them their respective personalities, and soon our home was full of laughter and love. But they all had their significant others to lean on and share their joy within the confines of our difficult life, Edward. And you have had to endure it alone. Until Bella._

_Bella has brought the joy I speak of into your life at last. As your father by proxy, I cannot express to you how happy this has made me. I know you fear for her safety in our world and you are right to be concerned. Our world is far too dangerous for her to exist in it for long as a human. I will not be so presumptuous as to give you advice regarding her being transformed. I will however offer you my loving support and my assistance should you desire it in the future._

_On another note I would also like to observe that Bella has done something for you that no vampire woman could have ever accomplished; she has begun to restore your humanity. By this I mean to say that she has brought your long buried human traits and personality back to the fore. I have never witnessed such a transformation in all of my existence. Many of your old habits and ways are resurfacing...it is most gratifying as your father to see you bloom and mature within your mutual love._

_I shall miss you son, if you choose to part from us. Alice has reassured me that this will not be the case, but I know that she has been wrong before and that you have free will. I trust you to make the right decision._

_I look forward to seeing you again soon. You are my "first born" son and you are forever in my heart._

_Carlisle_

_PS: You do have a soul Edward. I have seen it many times, both in your previous life as well as this one. It is still intact, and it is beautiful._

I fold the letter up carefully and stick it in the back pocket of my sleep pants. Carlisle's words are warming to my heart. He is right…no one should venture into this world alone. I had never really thought about his personal experience with loneliness. I selfishly thought I was the only one in our coven to have had to endure that particular state of being. However, he had changed tremendously as a person after Esme came into his life. I now realize he and I have more in common than I might have imagined. I wish that I could communicate these thoughts to him now. I consider calling him to talk, but then I remember that Bella needs to have her bandages changed before she retires for the evening.

I walk slowly back up the stairs to our bedroom…._our bedroom_…God that sounds good! And that's what it is now, for I will never be able to look at that room and think of it in any other way. I sigh happily.

I think about the part of his letter when he speaks of the night in which our paths first crossed, and I realize that I have not thought about that event in many years. He is right that I should tell Bella about it…as my mate and my love, I do not wish to conceal any part of my life, past or present, from her ever again. However, I am not certain that this evening will be the best night for this conversation. No, we have had enough emotional traumas to take us through an eternity. Still…I do plan on telling her soon.

I walk into our room and I see her all curled up, sleeping cozily in the middle of our bed. She has the most peaceful smile on her face and is clutching something in her hand. I get in bed, under the covers (a first for me in this life) and curl up next to her. She rolls over in her sleep and faces me, the object still caught tight in her hands. It is a long feather, presumably from one of the down pillows her head rests upon. I pluck it gently out of her fingers and tickle her nose with it a bit. Though I hate to disturb her slumber, she does need to have her bandage changed; I do not want her to get an infection, Lord knows.

I tickle her with the feather for a full minute before she wakens. I admit that I enjoy doing this…watching her reaction is quite comical. First she wrinkles her nose a few times, and then she bats at the disturbance, missing each time. Finally she opens her eyes and smiles lazily at me.

"Hi sweetheart…did you have a nice nap?"

"Mmmm…I did. What time is it?" She asks sleepily.

"It's nearly midnight and I hate to wake you up…I know how tired you are. But I really need to look at your wound and change your bandage. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back up here."

"S'okay." she mumbles and sits up tiredly in the bed. She lets out a huge yawn and then laughs and tells me she's sorry. I laugh along with her and give her a small kiss on her shoulder.

"Here…let me take off your old bandage and have a quick look." Although I have two medical degrees, I have never practiced medicine. However, I am grateful for my knowledge.

I remove the bandage, and note that the cut and the stitches look fine; no signs of infection. I swab the area with some antiseptic and redress her wound quickly. After I complete this task I place my mouth on her bandaged arm and give it a small kiss.

"There, I've kissed it and made it all better." I say with a smile.

She sits up and looks at me incredulously.

"Doesn't this bother you, Edward?" She asks in disbelief.

I think about her question and I realize that it is quite profound. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be able to be near Bella's blood without a frantic desire to drink from her. And yet…here I sit…having re-dressed a wound that is only one day old…and I haven't had even a twinge of blood lust. Furthermore, I had no reaction to her blood when we had made love, even though Bella's hymen was obviously intact.

_Her hymen_…

Images of our lovemaking rush to my flawless vampire mind. These thoughts cause me to harden and a small moan escapes me before I can quell it. I look down at my sleep pants and my erection is so pronounced that I'm afraid I'm going to burst through the flannel. I try to shift myself, but Bella's eyes are already upon my…um…situation.

In a flash her lips are on mine, and before I know it, we are kissing and rolling on the bed in a frenzied heat of passion. The lust fills the air and consumes us. She lets out a long moan and I respond with an equally long groan.

Christ, this is madness!

We can't seem to get our clothes off fast enough and the next thing I know she is straddling my lap and I find myself entering her with one fluid thrust. I sit up on my knees and wrap her legs around my waist. She buries her face in my shoulder and bites down hard.

This drives me absolutely wild with desire!

We are kissing and licking and sucking each other; our hands and mouths move over each others like they have a life of their own.

I flip her over and start pumping myself into her repeatedly; our moans and groans turn to shouts and cries of "Oh God!" and "Christ!"

Apparently we have both found religion…

I try to gain some control and slow down. God knows I don't want to hurt her, but now she is clawing at my back and screaming my name. I feel the walls of her sex clamp down on my arousal, and her spasms trigger my own release and I find myself coming hard. Oh God! I think I actually growl.

Panting and exhausted we collapse on the bed, completely spent.

_What the hell was that?_

I look at her sheepishly and she begins to giggle. Soon I join in and we both laugh till the tears drop from her eyes. I grab her up in my arms and laughingly ask her if she's alright.

"Oh my god…I'm better than alright! What the hell was that all about?" she chuckles.

"I have no idea…but it was unbelievable." I choke out. "Are you sure you're okay"?

"I'm fine."

She flops back down on the pillows and turns to me with a smirk.

"Umm...I don't think that was_ sweet tender love making_, Edward."

"Then _what_ was that?" I ask with a smirk of my own,

"Umm...if I had to guess I think that was what people call…_fucking_, Edward."

Huh...she really _does_ love that word...

I pretend to be shocked and drop back on the bed with my arm held dramatically over my eyes.

"Miss Swan! Such language! You should be ashamed of yourself!" I remove my arm and wink at her. She gives my arm a small punch then laughs and curls up on my chest. I wrap my arms around her and give her a sweet kiss.

"You know I love you though…even if that wasn't tender sweet love making, right?" I whisper in her ear.

"I know," she whispers back in a loving voice.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Does that word offend you?"

"What word, Bella?"

"Fuck"

_And now I am hard AGAIN..._

"No...It doesn't offend me, Bella. But it is strange for me to be hearing _you_ say it. I've never really heard you curse before."

"Oh, I do. I curse. I curse A LOT, Edward!"

"You do? When? And with whom?"

"With my girl friends. And mostly with your sisters. And all the time in my head"

Huh!

"Edward, can I ask you something?" She asks as she rolls over facing me.

"Anything." I breathe. "You can always ask me anything, Bella. I want us to be open and comfortable with each other."

"Okay...why are _you_ so old fashioned? I mean...I love that you are, don't get me wrong. But you're so different from the rest of your family. Your sisters swear and use modern slang and stuff. And Emmett...well...he cusses like a sailor and uses words like dude…" she trails off.

I roll on to my back and let out a little laugh. I have to give myself a moment to think about her question. It's a good one.

"Well, I think it has something to do with the way I was raised," I muse out loud.

"Were you very rich?" she asks.

"Not very rich, but definitely well off. My father made a lot of money in his time and he invested wisely. But to answer your question more fully...I think it has more to do with my timing," I ponder.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Well, for one thing, I was born in 1901. Emmett and Rose were born a bit later. They came from a different background than I did, and more importantly, they were exposed to "The Roaring 20's" as humans. The twenties were a lot like the sixties. People's attitudes and styles changed dramatically in that decade."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense. But what about Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice lived such a morbid and sheltered life before her transformation that she soaked up culture and fashion like a sponge after her change. As for Jasper, he is very old fashioned, Bella. But...he has lived with Alice for so long now that I think she has rubbed off on him in many ways. That sort of thing happens to vampires when they fall in love" I explain.

"Bella, I think you should know something about me." I decide to say.

"What, Edward?"

"Well, I am sure that you have noticed that I tend to sulk a lot and that I _...brood_...for lack of a better word."

"Yeah...Alice calls you emoward behind your back." She chuckles and ruffles my hair affectionately.

"Well, I don't do that as much anymore...not since I met you. You've changed me, Bella. I honestly think that before I met you, I just drifted through the decades; never changing...frozen in time. Then you came along, and suddenly...I woke up. I think you'll find that I am probably going change even more now that we've committed to each other more fully. I hope that I won't disappoint you, sweetheart."

She takes my face between her hands and kisses me on my lips softly.

"I love you just as you are, Edward and I always will. I don't care if you're old fashioned. I love old fashioned things. Why do you think I read Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters? _But_ if you start changing and saying things like _dude_...hmm...I may have to have a strong word with Emmett!" She giggles and tickles my side playfully. I let out a ...giggle? Yes, I giggled. Humph! She is definitely changing me; I don't think I've giggled since I was 14 years old.

I notice her squirming and she asks me for some tissues. I realize she is uncomfortable from our "sexy time" (as she so eloquently describes it to me with a laugh).

I reach over and grab some tissues from my nightstand and lean over to help her clean herself up, but she grabs them from me and gives me a look of embarrassment.

"I'll do it," she says, her eyes avoiding mine. She blushes deeply – like a pink rose.

"What's wrong now? Did I hurt you after all?" I ask worriedly.

"No, nothing's wrong! It's just…I don't know…private. It feels weird. I guess I'm not used to being with you like this," she offers sheepishly.

"I know, love. It IS private. It's… _intimate._" I give her a small kiss.

And there's that word again. Intimate. It has a nice sound to it.

Aloud I say, "Bella…I know what you mean when you say that you're not used to us being with each other way. Never In my wildest imagination when I left for Canada this morning, did I _ever_ think we'd wind up here…in a gigantic gold bed… that my _brother_, who nearly _attacked you_, gave to us. This whole day has been surreal."

"But…here's the thing, Bella; I wouldn't change anything that happened. Look how close it's made us. I've never experienced anything like this before, and I love it."

"You, do?" She asks.

"Yes."

"Good. I do too. It's just going to take me awhile to get used to it, that's all. But, I wouldn't change any of it either. I feel so close to you, now." She says, rather shyly.

I kiss her again softly and she finishes cleaning herself up. She then hands me the tissues and I take them from her, trying to stifle a chuckle. Apparently she is not too embarrassed to have me throw them out. Or refer to our encounter as...fucking. I hop out of bed and go over to the bathroom and shake my head with a grin. She is such an enigma.

When I return to the bed she asks me to get her purse. I go to my bureau and retrieve her purse and bring it back over to her. She reaches inside and pulls out a small compact and opens it. It's not a compact; it has tiny pills inside. She turns the dial and pops one out, puts it in her mouth and swallows it. I offer her another sip of water with a raised brow.

"It's my birth control pills." she admits with a small smile.

Huh?

"Why are you on the pill?" I ask quietly.

She looks at me in embarrassment and says "I've been on the pill since I was 16, Edward. My mother insisted I go on them because she got pregnant with me when she was 18 and she didn't want me to end up like her. They help regulate my cycle…so I decided to stay on them. But, I'm thinking about talking to the doctor about going off of them."

"Okay" I stutter. I honestly have no comment about this, although my heart breaks a little when I realize that she is implying in her subtle way that she has no need for them now. I sigh a little when I think about the fact that she and I can never have a child of our own. I hate that she wants to throw that opportunity away and I hate myself for even considering the possibility of allowing it to happen. But I don't want the night to end on a sour note, so I keep my thoughts to myself. She yawns loudly and I reach over and flick off the lamp switch and we settle down for the night.

She reaches over and grabs my old track team shirt and shrugs it on. As she does so, I notice the name C_ullen _glowing in the darkness. The sight of my name on her back causes me to heave a sigh of complete and utter satisfaction. She rolls over and gives me an inquisitive look and I smile.

"Do you mind me wearing your shirt, Edward?" she asks teasingly.

"No, not at all. I LOVE seeing you wear my clothes. It makes me feel...happy," I tell her with a grin.

"Why did you quite the track team, Edward? You're such a fast runner! I bet they were sorry to lose you."

"Well...that was the problem, love. I was _too_ fast. Sooner or later they would have noticed. Plus...I don't sweat." She giggles in response and burrows her face into my side.

"Tell me a story, Edward. I'm sleepy but I'm still not ready to fall asleep."

"What kind of a story?" I ask.

"I dunno…tell me more about your family. Something about when you were a little boy. I bet you were adorable!"

"I don't know that I was adorable. I think I was a bit of a terror. It's hard for me to remember, though. It was so long ago. And to be truthful, my human memories are not as clear as my vampire memories are. But I do remember my mother calling me a rascal and scolding me from time to time."

"What was she like, your mother?"

"Hmm…well, she was very beautiful and very fun."

"She was? What did she look like?"

"She had red hair and tons of freckles and the brightest green eyes I've ever seen."

"Oh, so that's why your hair is red."

"My hair isn't _red_, Bella. It's _bronze._" I pretend to be insulted.

"Pardon me…_bronze._" she over enunciates. We both laugh.

"Edward, what color eyes did you have when you were human? I always wondered. Were they brown like mine?"

"No…no one has eyes like yours Bella. Yours are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. And they're not brown…they're chocolate." I inform her with a little nudge. She laughs.

"Okay…whatever. You still didn't answer my question though. What color were they, back then?"

"They were green, just like my mother's."

"Green?"

"Yes."

She lets out a little sigh.

"I love green eyes."

"You do?"

"Yes…but I like _golden_ eyes best of all." She turns her face towards mine and gives me a small kiss on my brow. I hug her close. She is so precious to me.

"Tell me more about your mother. What did you call her?"

"I called her Mum."

"Mum?"

"Yes…she was from Scotland."

"Scotland! You never told me that before. What was she like? Did she have an accent?"

"She did. A very strong one!" I chuckled. "A Scottish Brogue."

"Wow…that must have been so cool. Did your father come from Scotland, too?"

"No, he was from England originally. He immigrated to Chicago with my mother in 1897."

"Really? I've never met anyone from England. I've always wanted to go there." She sighs.

"To meet Mr. Darcy?" I tease in a fake English accent.

"No, I don't need him anymore. I have _Mr. Masen_ – my gentleman caller. He just paid me a visit a little while ago. Perhaps you ran into him?" She says playfully

"Oh I ran into him alright." I respond with a laugh. "And did you enjoy your visit?"

"Yes. He was _very happy_ to see me."

"Yes, _he was._" I say, wagging my eyebrows.

"_Anywaaaay,_" she drawls out, "Tell me more about your parents. Why did they immigrate to the US? Were they kicked out?" she jokes.

I settle us back down deeper into the bed. She is a lot closer to her guess than she realizes.

"No, they weren't _kicked out_. But they _were_ asked to leave by my father's family."

"You're kidding me! Why?"

"Well, my father was from a very wealthy family. His father was part of the English nobility. They lived in Warwickshire, England, in a large estate. My mother was a servant in their family. She saw to the needs of his mother as her personal handmaid. My father had been sent off to school when he was a boy and he didn't return to Warwickshire until he was twenty one. His father brought him home with plans for him to take over the duties as lord of the manor. _But_…he met my mother upon his return and they fell in love. They kept their relationship a secret for a year until they were discovered by his mother. Apparently a major scandal ensued and his father more or less disinherited him. Fortunately he had a small inheritance from one of his grandparents, and so he married my mother and they came here to start a new life. To my knowledge they never returned to the British Isles."

"Wow…that is so incredibly romantic." she sighs.

"I know."

"But not as romantic as us." she yawns.

"No…no one is as romantic as us Bella. We're the type of lovers that people write epic novels about." I tease.

"Did your mother ever spank you?" she asks.

"Not very often…back in those days that sort of punishment was a father's duty. I remember he had a riding crop that he kept by the door as a friendly reminder for me to behave."

"Oh, Edward…that's awful! Did he use it on you very much?" She asks worriedly.

"No." I laugh. "I was always a superior runner. I was much faster than my dad!" I chuckle.

"I bet!" she chuckles in return.

"My mother though…she was a quick one! I remember one time I broke a vase that she had carried back with her from Scotland. It had been her grandmother's, and was very special to her. I had been rough-housing, and I knocked it over and smashed it to bits. She came out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon in her hands and chased me up to my bedroom screaming "Teddy, my boy…yer better give it up lad! I've not got all day and I'm not in the mood to play with the likes of ye!" She caught me and brought that spoon down on my bottom so hard that she broke it in two. Then she burst into tears and hid in the bathroom until my father came home. I think I got the crop that night as well."

"_Teddy_? Oh my God! Was that your nickname?" She asks with a laugh.

"Yes, it was a very common nickname at the time for Edward, and since my father was also named Edward, that's what I was called."

"Why don't they call you that now?" She asks.

"I never thought to mention it to Carlisle after I was changed. Besides…my father is long gone now." I reply wistfully.

"Your mother sounds like she was a character." She says laughingly.

"Yes, she really was. I think that's why my father was so attracted to her. She was so natural and fun loving. He came from such a different background than she did. He used to say all the time that she was the making of him."

"Just like you are for me." I give her a soft kiss.

"Are you sleepy enough yet, Bella?"

"Mmm-hmm." She yawns into my neck.

I roll her over onto her side and I spoon against her. I hum her lullaby and soon she is snoring softly. But before she gives in to the sandman entirely, I hear her whisper "Good night, Teddy". Then she yawns once more and falls fast asleep.

I lay there for a long moment reflecting on this day, the longest day in my very long life, and I sigh.

"Good night, my Bella. Sweet dreams. If I could dream at all they would be of you."

I look up and let out yet another sigh and think of my mother. I have not thought of her with this much recall in many years. She had been a wonderful mother.

I get up and wander over to my shelf and pull out the ancient photo album that contains family portraits, papery letters, small locks of hair, and other mementos from my previous life. The book is quite large and heavy. It is covered in dark green velvet and has a small glass mirror on its front. I open it up and pull out a picture of a little girl with a serious face and a large white bow on top of her curly head. There is a small lock of her hair that is attached to the back. I touch the bronze tuft and sigh once more.

_Charlotte…_

**Authors Note: When I started this chapter I had no idea that it would all be told in EPOV. But honestly…he simply would NOT shut up! So…I figured that I'd better let him have his say. I hope you don't mind!**

**I also NEVER intended to write a lemon in this chapter. I swear…this story seems to be writing itself... Hope you enjoyed it…it was short but sweet. And hopefully a little shmexy!**

**That said…I left you with a little cliffy. I think you all will enjoy Edwards back story…its sure to be a good one! I do want to warn you however…even though this story is classified as humor…there may be a few teary moments. I promise they will be brief…and positively ANGST FREE. It's the holiday season after all…so who needs that crap? It's enough having to deal with in laws and cranky husbands who lose their religion putting up the Christmas lights, right?**

**Reviewers get one lock of red…ahem…**_**BRONZE**_**… from Edwards mane.**

**Big Thanks to my Beta….Giving Up Forever. Kim, you rock my world on FF! Thanks so much for your awesome editing. You will never know how MUCH I appreciate it! (Forgive my ellipses…hee-hee!). Also look for improvments in my earlier chapters; I plan on editing then with assitance from my new betas. I apologize to all of you who have had to suffer through my mess!**

**Merry Christmas everyone! Look forward to a new chapter sometime in early January (Unless Santa gives me what I really want; Robert Thomas Pattinson in my stocking. Should this Christmas miracle occur, then consider this fic to be on an extended hiatus). Till then, stay safe and may you all have visions of Edward dancing over your head!**


	14. Chapter 14 Tears for Lottie

**This chapter is beta'd by coleen561. Coleen, your advice and editing are so very much appreciated. I couldn't have written this chapter without your insight and keen eye for detail. Thank you so much!**

**Warning: this chapter is more serious in nature than previous entries. Fear not constant readers, happier days will soon follow! Thank you all for your kind words and unfailing support. Your reviews make me smile and seem to work wonders for my muse. Love you all! J**

Chapter 14

Tears for Lottie

From childhood's hour I have not been  
As others were; I have not seen  
As others saw; I could not bring  
My passions from a common spring.

Edgar Allen Poe

BPOV

I dream I am running in the woods again. But this time I am not running away and I am not running alone. In my dream I am running so fast that I feel as though I am flying. I feel the sharp sting of the salt brined air in my eyes and in my nose. I breathe it in deeply and with gusty pleasure. I feel so light and carefree. I feel euphoric. I reach out and grasp an outstretched hand, expecting to feel a cool marble touch. But as our hands make contact, I flinch; the touch is warm and the grasp is firm yet surprisingly gentle. I gaze up into a pair of bright green eyes that are full of soft light. I shake my head for a moment expecting to see Edward's impossibly beautiful face, but when our eyes meet and lock, I see a boyish grin, a devilish dimple, and a mischievous wink. _Teddy_….

I wake up gasping and crying for Edward.

EPOV

I am downstairs in the kitchen preparing an omelet for Bella's surprise breakfast in bed, when I hear her cry out for me. My heart nearly jump starts itself as I literally drop the pan with a clunk on the stove and take off running like a madman up the stairs. I honestly don't think my feet made contact with a single step. I run into the bedroom and find her half sitting up in bed, clawing at the bed sheets and looking confused and dazed. I walk over to the bed quickly and climb in, gathering my sweet girl in my arms. She is shaking and breathing as though she were slightly winded. I stroke her hair and rock her gently for a moment against my chest. I smooth her hair off her face and she relaxes in my arms.

"What's wrong, Love? Did you have a bad dream?" I ask in what I hope is a soothing tone.

"No. I mean…yes…it was a dream. But no…it wasn't a _bad_ dream. It was…" her voice trails off. I notice that her eyes are downcast so I put my finger under her chin and raise her face so our eyes will meet. There is a look in them that I don't quite recognize; one that leaves me frankly puzzled.

"Bella, whatever it is I think you should tell me about it. You'll feel better if you do."

"It…it was nothing really. I just dreamt that I was in the woods… running."

I look at her trying to gauge if she is telling me the truth and I realize that there is more to this dream than she wants to let on.

"Sweetheart, please… I know by your face that there's more. Were you alone in the woods? Is that what this was about?" I dread her answer because if this nightmare is about me abandoning her in the woods then I truly am to blame. I hug her closer to me and kiss her temple and forehead.

"No…I wasn't alone. It was a happy dream. I was running so fast…it felt like I was flying! I don't think I ever felt so happy and carefree in my life. I reached out expecting _your_ hand, but then I realized that the hand I grasped wasn't yours. I got scared, and then I woke up."

"Whose hand was it, Love?"

Bella shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. "I really don't remember," she mumbles. I can tell that she is lying.

"Bella…"

She gives me a watery smile and a slight shrug and says, "It was… _Teddy_."

_Huh?_

I freeze for a moment and gulp. _Teddy_…does she…can she…mean…_me_? Our conversation from last night comes back to me in a haunting refrain.

"Bella…I don't think I quite understand. When you say _Teddy_…do you mean _me_?" I ask cautiously. I am a little afraid of her answer, though I have no earthly idea why.

"No…I mean…yes. I'm not sure…I guess I mean _both of you_, Edward."

"I'm confused, love." I ease myself up and sit back so I can look into her sad brown eyes. Bella dreamt of me as a human. A _human_ boy. The boy I once was and can never be again. I feel my stomach muscles clench as I realize I am facing my biggest fear.

_Teddy_…how I wish I could be that boy for her. If I was still _Teddy_ then our lives would be so much happier. I could date her like a normal teenage boy. We could share pizza together and sneak beers from her unsuspecting father's stash. We could go away to college together and get married and have babies. We could…

"Edward, look at me," she says as she tips my chin up so our eyes can meet. I gaze into her eyes then I look down at my hands briefly. But Bella will have none of that. No. Without saying a word she gathers me in her arms and kisses my head and murmurs in my ear that she loves me. I sigh into her embrace.

"Edward…the reason I woke up crying for you, was because I wanted to be with _you_. _My Edward_…not _Teddy_. I don't even know who _Teddy_ is…" She looks into my eyes and kisses me again on the forehead. I wrap my arms around her and return her kiss, this time on her temple, and decide that the time has come for Bella to know the real me. No, that's not quite right. Not the real me. The human me. Bella needs to know about _Teddy Masen_, and if I am to be honest, I need to rediscover him myself. I take out the letter from Carlisle and hand it to her. She accepts it readily with an upraised brow. I lean over and give her lips a quick kiss.

"Bella, I am going to go back downstairs and finish getting your breakfast together. Why don't you take this time for a human moment and then maybe you can read my letter. It's from Carlisle. I meant to have you read it last night, but we…ahem…got a bit…_distracted_." The memory of our lusty lovemaking upon my return from Carlisle's office comes flooding into my mind and I find myself hardening at the thought. I quickly stand up and proceed to the door preparing to make my exit when I hear her voice beckoning me.

"Uh, uh…not so fast vamp-man! Just where do you think you're going? Get back over here and kiss me properly."

I chuckle (_vamp-man?_) and return to the side of the bed and press my mouth hard against hers. Her hands reach up and braid themselves into my hair. We both let out a long groan. My erection is beginning to throb painfully. I can already see where this is leading… Just as I decide to give in to my baser instincts (omelet be damned) Bella pushes herself away from me and jumps out of the bed.

"Sorry, Edward, but you're right. It is time for a human moment. Plus…I'm starving!" she giggles, as she heads for the bathroom. I shake my head and grimace…poor _Mr. Masen_…he'll have to call on the lovely _Miss Swan_ later. I chortle at my ridiculous self and head back downstairs to finish her breakfast.

BPOV

I enter the bathroom and use the facilities and decide to take a quick shower. But before I do I take a moment to look at my face in the mirror. Huh… I still look the same. I know it's only been 24 hours since Alice's visit, but now everything has changed…

I can't believe that I am not a virgin anymore! (Though the slight soreness I am feeling between my legs is confirmation of that fact.)

_Oh my God!_What an unbelievable night. So beautiful…so magical! And then later…after my big cry baby attack and the emo talk afterwards, we had taken the best bath EVER! I know it would probably seem absurd and ridiculous to most people, but that bath was one of the greatest experiences of my entire life. Not because it was romantic, but because it was revealing. For the first time in our relationship, Edward and I were _silly _together. We splashed and played in the tub. He let me wash his hair. And I made him giggle! I know he was probably taken aback by the whole Mr. Masen thing…but I think he secretly LOVED that I named his tally whacker!

I think the best part about it though, was that it felt intimate. And not in a sexual way either. No, it felt…comfortable. I felt for the first time that we were truly a couple. He felt like…my _husband_. My_ husband_! I wrap my arms around myself and let out a little squeal and do a happy dance. I think…I hope…that Edward will be my husband someday. I don't even care if we can't have children together or how difficult it will be for my friends and parents. I want this to happen. I want it…so much.

I leave the bathroom and quickly change into a pair of yoga pants. I briefly think about putting the blue bra back on, but decide that it needs to be washed, so I grab the black bra that Edward threw in my overnight bag. I don't recognize it at first, but then I remember that it was one of the two bras that Alice and Rosalie brought over yesterday morning. I check it out and notice that it too is made of lace and has those push up pads in it. Humph! Guess they think I need all the help I can get. (Which is probably true, but I didn't hear Edward complaining about my lack of boobs last night).

Ummm….last night! Gah! The second time we did it was even hotter than the first. I blush at the memory. Seeing Edward's face when he came apart in my arms was so erotic. He's just so damn sexy! How on earth are we ever going to keep our hands off of each other now that we've had a little taste? Mmmm…I want MORE!

I laugh quietly at my horny self a bit, and throw on my FHS hoodie. I dry my hair with a towel, and sit on the couch to brush it out. I think about my dream this morning and I sigh remembering Edward's face when I told him that Teddy was running in the forest with me. He looked so hurt. I do not EVER want Edward to think for a single moment that I would replace him with anyone…not even if I had the chance to have him as a human boy. I didn't fall in love with a human Edward…I fell in love with my vampire. My hot, sweet, _sexy_ vampire. _My Edward_. And I wouldn't change anything about him. No…not a single strand of hair on his beautiful bronze head!

My eyes catch on the letter that Edward has left at the foot of his bed and I reach over and pluck it up then settle back on the cushion and begin to read.

EPOV

I throw out the original omelet and begin a new one instead. I have never made an omelet before, but I have watched the Food Network a few times and I've seen omelets prepared there. Even though I don't eat, I enjoy watching the process of preparing food and the artistic presentation that some chefs create for their dishes.

Bah! I am turning into such a _girl_. Emmett would have a fit if he heard my inner monologue and would no doubt kick my ass. God, I miss my brother!

I finish up the omelet which is filled with the left over ham and cheese, transfer it to a blue plate, and set it on a breakfast tray. I warm the rolls in the microwave and slather them with butter (Bella could use a few more pounds on her small frame). Though in all honesty, I was delightfully shocked to discover the fullness of her breasts. I never knew that those delicious white and rosy tipped mounds were hiding underneath those baggy plaid shirts and hoodies she always favors, that is for sure! Had I known I believe I might have made their acquaintance sooner…

Grinning a little, I pour some sparkling non-alcoholic wine that I have mixed with freshly squeezed orange juice into a champagne flute. This will have to be my version of a mimosa. I add a few sprigs of rosemary to the plate from Esme's little herb garden that is still nestling on her kitchen windowsill, put a napkin and some silverware on the tray and carry it upstairs to Bella.

I enter our bedroom and see Bella perched comfortably on the couch. She has taken a shower and is all pink and cozy looking. I notice that she has taken the time to make our bed and so I set the tray down near its foot and motion for her to come eat.

"Edward…I read the letter from Carlisle. It was so beautiful! He really loves you Edward," she says to me. Her voice sounds so warm and loving.

"But, Edward…what does he mean about knowing you when you were human? I thought you only met after he changed you? And that part in the beginning when he writes about that 'awful night.' I'm confused…" her voice trails off and she looks at me curiously and…tenderly? Yes…she is looking at me tenderly. There is no judgment in her eyes. I sigh. That will come later, I fear.

"Bella, I know you are full of questions and I want to be truthful with you. I want you to know me, Bella. I don't want to keep secrets from you. But you have to know first that my memories of my human life are not clear. Most of the events that happened to me were so long ago, and I have not thought of them in years. And some memories…I have not thought of at all. But I will tell you Bella. I need to tell you. And most importantly…I WANT to tell you. But FIRST…I want you to eat!"

I pluck the napkin off the tray and bow slightly to her as I reveal my culinary masterpiece. Even though the smell of it is mildly repulsive to me, I must admit it does LOOK good.

"Oh my God, Edward…this is unbelievable! YOU made THIS? How did you learn to cook?"

"Food Network" I grin, shrugging my shoulders.

"Mmmm… sooooo ….GOOD!" The sound of her groans and moans over her little feast are really quite distracting and are sounding more sensual than I care to admit. I decide to gather up the photo albums, some scrapbooks, my high school annual, and a few of my old journals to prepare and assist me as I explain my childhood and teenage years to Bella. This takes me a few minutes and I notice her wiping her mouth and then dropping the napkin back on the tray. She turns and gives me an expectant look.

It is time.

BPOV

Edward motions for me to join him on the couch. I go over to one end, sit down, and get comfy while he places a large green velvet book between us as he sits down by my side. I notice that he has other books and a few assorted letters and albums which he sets down on the floor in front of us. He seems nervous and I have to wonder if this is a good idea.

"Edward," I say as I take his long slender hand in mine. "You really don't have to do this, you know. I've told you before and I'll say it again. I love _you_, Edward. I don't care about your past, or the fact that you're a vampire. None of that matters to me. You are who you are…and I love you now…and I will always love you." I squeeze his hands to reassure him and he leans forward and gives me a soft kiss.

"Oh, Love…I know you love me, as I do you. And Bella, your beautiful sentiments are a mere echo of my own." I let out a small sigh.

"But Bella…I want you to know about me…and to be honest…upon reading Carlisle's letter last evening, I need to do this for myself as well."

Edward opens the green velvet book that is secured by a heavy burnished gold snap. He carefully pulls out a portrait of a young boy dressed in a sailor suit. He is seated on a wicker rocking chair and is wearing thick stockings and high topped shoes that look like they have a billion buttons going up the sides. The boy's hair is a complete mess of curls and cowlicks. His face is positively beautiful. His cheeks are round and appear flushed, and though he is not smiling, he has what appear to be two little dimples on either side of his mouth. He is holding a stuffed bear in his little hands.

"Edward," I ask gently, "Is that you?"

"Yes, that's me with my stuffed bear, Mr. Biggs. This was taken on my fifth birthday."

"Mr. Biggs?" I laugh. "How do you remember his name? I thought you couldn't remember your childhood well."

Edward laughs a little and turns the portrait over. I read the writing on the back.

_Edward Anthony Masen_

_June 20__th__ 1906_

_With his beloved Mr. Biggs_

"Edward…you were so adorable! Look at how cute you were with your little bear. Do you remember Mr. Biggs?"

Edward gives a little sigh and closes his eyes briefly. When he re-opens them they look…haunted.

"Yes…I remember Mr. Biggs. Too well…" He sighs and looks at me sadly. I lean forward and give him a little reassuring hug. He gives me a small smile.

I hand him back his portrait and he hands me another one. This time it is a wedding picture of a beautiful woman and a very handsome, yet rather austere looking man. The woman's hair is swept up in an elaborate style from a different era and the man has a thick handlebar moustache and very dark eyes. But even though they are not smiling, they do not appear to be unhappy. The woman looks like she wants to smile. She looks familiar. She looks a lot like Edward.

"Oh, Edward!" I gasp. "Are these your parents?"

"Yes…that is my mother, Elizabeth, and my father, Edward Senior. This is their wedding portrait…obviously." He grins at his rhetoric.

"Your Mum was so pretty, Edward."

"Yes, she was." He lets out a sigh and I nudge him a little on his shoulder. I know instinctively that this conversation is going to get heavy and I want to keep it light as long as possible.

I see another portrait in the book and I take it out carefully. I look at Edward to see if it's okay for me to do this and he gives me a little nod.

It is a picture of a little girl all dressed up in what appears to be her Sunday best. She has long hair dressed in loose curls and a large white bow on top of her sweet head. She is without a doubt the prettiest child I have ever seen. Her cheeks are round and glowing with health and her eyes are dark. I wonder briefly if they are hazel or brown, like mine. Even though she has a serious expression on her face, I see the dimples that appear to be flickering on either side of her mouth. She looks achingly familiar…I gasp…she looks exactly like…Edward!

"Edward," I ask as gently as possible. "Who's this?"

I see his Adams apple bob a few times and he swallows heavily. He takes the picture from my hands and traces the little girl's face tenderly with his finger. He hands the picture back to me and sighs.

"Charlotte."

"Charlotte?" I ask raising my eyebrow. "Who was she?"

Edward turns the photo over gently and hands it back to me. There is a small lock of hair that is secured to the back. The color of it is familiar, but not surprising. It is a lighter version of Edward's bronze. I touch it gently. I read the inscription that is written below the curl.

_Charlotte Elizabeth Masen_

_April 24__th__ 1915_

_Age 4_

_Our little Lottie_

"This was my sister," he whispers. "We called her Lottie."

"Your _sister_!" I gasp. "I thought you were an only child."

Edward puts the photo back in the album and looks at me sadly.

"I was an only child, Bella. And then…I wasn't."

He lets out a long painful sigh.

"And then I was…"

I look at Edward and watch the sorrow take over, and then consume his beautiful face. It takes me a moment to process what he is saying to me. And then it hits me as if I had been struck by a boulder. I feel a crushing weight in my chest and my eyes begin to fill with tears, but I chase them away immediately. He needs to tell me his story, _not_ comfort me. This is not about me; it is about_ him_. So I swallow my tears and take his hands and gather them into my own.

"What happened, Edward?" I asked as quietly and gently as I can muster. "Can you tell me?"

He nods briefly and swallows a few times and then he begins.

EPOV

I sit for a moment trying to gather my wits and rein in my emotions so I can continue my story, but it is harder than I imagined. My memory of Lottie and the events that led to her death are ones that I have not thought about in many years. Truthfully, I don't believe I have given them any thought at all since my transformation back in 1918. I chose instead to close those memories and seal them away, hidden behind my journals and albums and pictures from my previous life, knowing that they existed, but never taking them out. Why I did this was not obvious to me at the time, but as I look into Bella's sweet and understanding face, I know the time has come to unlock the memories, regardless of what it might cost me.

Bella's eyes are so expressive. I can see plainly that she wants to shed tears for a little girl she never knew, and sadly would never know. But I can also see her stave her tears in an effort to keep me grounded so I may continue with my story, and the knowledge of this makes me fall in love with her a little bit more.

"Bella, I was an only child for ten years. My mother wanted a large family, but was never able to have another child after I was born. She had been raised as a Catholic, and though she no longer practiced, it was a given that she would have a houseful of children to care for. She did suffer a few miscarriages in my early childhood and that was extraordinarily difficult on us all. My father was so in love with her you see, and it tore at him that she suffered these tragic losses. After a few years of trying, they more or less gave up hopes that there would ever be more children and decided, I suppose, that I would have to be enough." I give her a small wry smile at this and she squeezes my hands reassuringly.

"So, what happened then? Did your mother get treatment for infertility?" Bella asked curiously.

"No, back in those days there really wasn't any kind of treatments for that sort of thing. The only advice doctors gave was to either accept the situation or perhaps to take a holiday. The idea being that a vacation would give a couple an opportunity to take their minds off of their situation and allow them to relax and enjoy one another. And that's exactly what my parents did. They went to the coast of Maine in July for a month and when they returned my mother was with child. Charlotte was born the following April."

"That must have been weird for you, Edward. Were you upset when she was born?"

"No, surprisingly I wasn't. In fact I was quite the opposite. I was lonely growing up sometimes, and frankly I was a little jealous of my school chums who all had heaps of brothers and sisters to play with. Here we lived in this huge monstrosity of a house and I had no one to run amok with. I longed for a brother for many years. I had no exposure to girls. I attended Morgan Park Academy as a day student, which at the time was only for young men, so girls never even entered my mind."

"Were you very disappointed that you didn't have a brother then?"

"No, not at all, Love. You see, Lottie was very special to me. Actually I am the one who helped deliver her when she was born."

"What! YOU had to deliver a baby, Edward? Oh my God, you were only a child yourself. What happened?" Bella looks at me in disbelief. I stifle back a chuckle, because it had been a bizarre experience for a young boy, even for the time.

"I know, Love…it _was_ strange, and I assure you, it was not at all planned." I chuckle ruefully at the memory. What a day that had been!

"My mother gave birth very unexpectedly late one afternoon. I had just returned home from school and asked her if we might play a game of Jacks. She agreed, though she told me that she hadn't been feeling well that afternoon and jokingly asked me to take it easy on her. We played several rounds and were having a wonderful time, when she suddenly doubled over and collapsed on the floor in front of me. I was horrified! I didn't have any earthly idea what to do. I remember running for our housekeeper, Mrs. Tuttle, but she had left earlier to run some errands and had not yet returned. I was alone with my mother. I got up ready to fetch a doctor, but it was too late. My mother yelled out for me to bring her some towels and her sewing basket. I did as I was told even though I had no idea why she wanted to sew at a time like this. When I returned with the items that she requested, the baby was already making her entry into the world. I managed to catch her just as she was born, and with my mother's help, I cut her umbilical cord with the sewing shears."

"Oh, Edward weren't you scared?" Bella asks incredulously.

"Scared? I was petrified!" I chuckle. "But I really didn't have time to think about it too much because it all happened so fast.

"At any rate, I was the first person this tiny little girl looked upon, and when she opened her eyes for the first time and looked at me…I was lost. She was the most beautiful and precious thing I had ever seen."

"Oh my God, Edward…that is so sweet! She must have really loved you…" her voice trails off. I see the sadness return to her eyes just then when she realizes that Lottie did not dwell in my life for long.

"Yes, it was a mutual love at first sight. In fact my mother used to tease me that as badly as she had wanted another child, she rarely had the chance to see that child, let alone raise it. I suppose I did rob her of Lottie a bit. But I couldn't help myself. She was so sweet. I really loved being a big brother and when I was home I was her constant companion. Well, me and Mr. Biggs."

"Mr. Biggs?" Bella asks, "Wasn't he _your_ bear?"

"Yes, but as soon as Lottie got old enough she claimed him as her own. I could never deny her anything especially when she would look at me with her big brown eyes and say please. So even though I liked to tease her and chase her about with Mr. Biggs, I gave him to her eventually. She carried him with her always and slept with him every night. She even bathed with him, and that caused him to become a frightful, smelly mess at times. My mother did her best to air him out but she wouldn't allow anyone to go near him. We had to resort to sneaking him out of her arms while she slept. It was quite a challenge…" I pause then for a moment because Mr. Biggs played such a key role in the tragedy that followed. I swallow convulsively and pinch my nose hard. I am determined to tell Bella the rest of the story, no matter how difficult it is for me. Bella notices my distress and hugs me close to her heart and kisses me so lovingly on my forehead, that I am almost overcome. But I need to share that awful night, the night we lost our Lottie; the night that brought Carlisle into my life. So I gently remove myself from her embrace and lean back against the sofa cushions and tell her the rest of the story.

"When Lottie was four years old, she was a wild little thing. She was always tearing about the house with me chasing after her and always climbing on furniture, counter tops and tables…even my piano. She loved to jump. My mother blamed it on me, because apparently I was much the same at her age. I believe the doctors today would have called us hyperactive. But where I preferred to run, Lottie preferred to jump. And I was always there to catch her! 'Catch me Teddy' she'd call out to me, and I'd be there, every time, waiting for her with my outstretched arms. As soon as I'd catch her we'd double over in fits of laughter. She was so much fun!

"She was very mature for her age, which I suppose was mostly my own fault as I was ten years older and she had no other companions. She was rather precocious, but not obnoxiously so. She loved for me to play the piano and she often sat next to me on my bench as I banged away on the keys. I even made up little songs and ditties for her and we spent many a happy hour in the conservatory." I sigh then remembering the sweetness and innocence of a different era. I cannot imagine a fourteen year old boy whiling away the hours with a four year old in tow. But it was a vastly different time and I suppose even then, I was no ordinary boy.

"Didn't you have other friends, Edward?" Bella asks as if reading my thoughts.

I smile at her question. "Yes, actually I had loads of friends. I think you would probably be shocked to know that I wasn't always a solitary creature, Bella. In fact, I suppose as a human, I was considered to be quite popular. I liked to joke and tease and I played every sport that was offered. By the time I was fourteen I was finally attending a school that was Co-Ed and I rather enjoyed chasing the girls round the schoolyard," I wink.

"That doesn't sound like the Edward I know," Bella teased slightly.

"No…that wasn't Edward Cullen," I reply. "That was Teddy Masen. But I'll tell you all about him, at least what I can recall, in a bit."

"Edward, I know this is hard for you," Bella says gently giving me another strong hug. "I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it anymore," she offers generously.

"No, that's okay, sweetheart," I hug her back. "I really want to tell you. It's just hard for me to find the words."

I take out the picture of Lottie again and study her face. It was, next to Bella, the most expressive and lovely face I have ever seen. Looking at it now I am struck by the resemblance between Lottie's eyes and Bella's. Though they were a different shape, they were both heavily fringed, and the color was a rich chocolate brown. Till this moment I had never noticed the similarity before.

"It was a cold, windy night in late April, and Lottie had just celebrated her fourth birthday. My parents were at a party that was being thrown in my father's honor. He was a rather prominent attorney and he had just won a very hefty settlement for a large business corporation. Anyway, they had offered to hire a sitter for Lottie, but I wouldn't hear of it. We spent the night playing Chutes and Ladders and even had a tea party for Mr. Biggs, who she claimed was also a lawyer who had just won a big case. After we cleaned up I gave her a bath and settled her down for the night.

"As a joke I took Mr. Biggs from her arms after she had fallen asleep and hid him on top of the grandfather clock that was upstairs. The clock was on the landing at the top the staircase, which curved sharply and had an elaborate balustrade. I went back down stairs and sat at the piano and lost myself for a few hours trying to work out a lullaby that I had composed for Lottie. In the midst of my efforts I heard a loud noise upstairs. I ran to the foot of our staircase and I saw Lottie struggling to get Mr. Biggs from the top of the grandfather clock. She had managed to climb on to the table next to it and was just pulling him down from the clock when I saw her. Before I could yell to her to wait for me, she grabbed the bear and tossed it down from the top of the staircase calling out to me to catch Mr. Biggs. I caught him in my arms, just as she yelled out 'Now catch _ME_ Teddy!'

"I looked up and she had stepped from the table to the banister along the hallway and was holding on to the newel post. Lottie threw herself off the top of the banister towards me. I still had Mr. Biggs in my arms, Bella, and I was at the bottom of the stairs."

Suddenly**, **my breathing begins to hitch and a crack that began to form nearly a hundred years ago suddenly splinters wide open. My throat constricts, my vision begins to blur and a flood of something foreign…something I have not felt in nearly a century, begins to pour out of my eyes. I ache from the depths of my soul. I look at Bella's luminous brown eyes that remind me so much of my sister's, and I manage to choke out the words.

"I never caught her at all…"

_*AFITR*_

**Authors Note: This was a hard chapter to write as it deals with the death of a child. For those of you who experienced this type of loss I offer you my deepest sympathy. I lost my only brother when he was 25 and I was 15. There was also a 10 year difference between us and I found myself reflecting on my brother, and the special relationship he and I shared as I wrote about Edward and Lottie. I dedicate this chapter to Chip…eternally young and greatly missed…**

**On another note: Yes, Edward is crying real tears for Lottie and NOT venom. This is OOC but is necessary to the plot and future chapters. I hope you will forgive my use of artistic license.**

**Next chapter will explain about the relationship Edward shared with Carlisle and will hopefully shed more insight into his emotional makeup. Just remember…happy days and more sexy times are on the horizon!**

**Thank you to all my readers for your comments and continuing support. Love ya'll!**


	15. Chapter 15: Teddy

**This chapter was beta'd by coleen561**

**Thanks for all you do girl, so much appreciated!**

**BTW... A Fork in the Road was nominated for a Golden Lemon Award (Best Make Out Scene!) Follow the link on my profile to the voting form.**

**So excited just to be nominated!**

Chapter 15

Teddy

BPOV

"I never caught her at all"

Edward's words are ringing in my ears. I don't even register what he is saying to me but my body does. Without thinking about it, my arms reach out and pull him towards me. He falls into my embrace with a heavy thud, crying and gasping. I hold him close to my heart and stroke his damp hair. Though he claims he doesn't sweat, I feel his perspiration, and for a split second, he doesn't feel like Edward at all. In this tiny speck of time, for just a blip of a moment, he is warm and sweaty against my chest. I let out a strangled cry when I realize that I am not comforting Edward at all. I am comforting and consoling Teddy Masen. Yes, it is _Teddy_, not Edward who I am holding. I lift his head and bring it to my face and he clings to me, weeping; I can feel his tears against my cheeks. I taste the saltiness of them as I press my mouth to his temple and his tears are briny and achingly real. My own eyes seek his, and when they meet, I gasp. They are not golden or black. Like grass covered with morning dew, they are green and shimmering. I have seen green eyes before, but none like these. These eyes are the gateway to this man's soul. I see his soul and it is tortured, yet beautiful.

But then, as quickly as it came, it is gone. The sweat cools and dries, and his tears taste sweet upon my lips. The softness of his arms and chest grows hard and I watch in wonder as his eyes fade from a vibrant green to a warmer gold. He closes them off to me and buries his face in the crook of my neck. I smooth back the hair that has fallen over his brow and press a kiss to his neck. Then I lie back as far as I can into the deep recesses of his couch and take him with me, hugging him to my chest. We don't speak, for there is no need for words, only sounds. Yes, I make the sounds of comfort. The only sounds anyone who has truly been in need of comfort need to hear. They are the sounds a mother might make to comfort a crying child but they are also the soft noises a woman might make to soothe a sobbing man. And with these silent words comes the touches that only a woman can make. I do these things for Teddy _and_ Edward. I do them for the boy who lost his sister, and for the vampire who can never forget. I do them for myself as well, because there is a selfish pleasure in knowing that I am the only one who can ever do this for him. I acknowledge this selfishness without feeling guilt or shame. I do all this in the name of love. It is in this moment, this precise moment, that I find myself crossing over the line that serves to separate the girl from the woman. As I take this final step, I bid farewell to the girl I was, for I know now that I am a woman, and that this man, the man who lies sobbing in my arms, is my destiny. He is my future. He is my mate. He is mine and I am his. Forever…

"I've caught you Teddy," I say softly in his ear. "And I'll never let you go."

He sits up then, and takes me with him. I feel his ragged breath against my brow begin to change, becoming even and still.

"Yes, you have caught me Bella" he says to me quietly. "Please, don't ever let me go."

I smooth his hair back again and press sweet kisses on his cheeks, his hair, and his brow. And I rock him just a little before I sit back, taking him once more against my chest.

"Always, Edward," I say out loud, for I know he needs to hear it. So I say it again and my words are soft yet they ring out loud and clear. "I will always have you, baby. You don't ever have to be alone anymore."

"I'm not a baby, Bella," he whimpers in my arms.

"You're my baby," I say to him gently. I push against him gently and he sits back once more. I stand up and take his hand in mine and lead him over to the bed. We undress each other quietly and crawl into the bed. There are no need for words or to acknowledge what we are about to do. We simply lie back together and he holds me close, without words, without sounds. There are no questions…only answers, as I wrap my legs around his body and with a soft and gentle thrust, we become one.

Our kisses are not the frantic kisses of last night's searing encounter, nor are they the kisses of wonder and mystery from our first time. These are the kisses of comfort and need, and they are meant to soothe and to reassure. Our eyes are locked on each other's and they never stray, even as the passion of our bodies consumes us both. Our touches are light and feather soft. I kiss his face and his lips tenderly and he does the same in return. And when we reach our climax, it is not with a groan of desire or a growl of triumph. It is with a quiet sigh of surrender and completeness.

I sigh out loud and hold Edward's gaze until he turns to his side, still facing me. There is a look of something in his eyes but I can't quite seem to put a name to it. He leans in and kisses me softly on my mouth then rolls over onto his back. I lean over and lie my head down on his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair. I hear him sigh long and loud and his sweet breath fills the air. I look at his beautiful face and wait for him to speak.

He does

"Bella, how can you still love me after everything I just told you? I am a _murderer_ Bella. I killed my sister." His words are spoken quietly but they pierce through my heart like a dagger.

"Edward, look at me" I say taking his face gently in my hands. "You did NOT kill your sister. It was an accident, a horrible and tragic accident. But you didn't kill her."

"YES, I DID!" his words explode out of him. "I killed Lottie, Bella. If I hadn't been so stupid and reckless that accident would never have happened!"

"No, Edward. You told me yourself that Lottie was always jumping. You said she was hyperactive. This type of accident might have happened anyway. And honestly, you were only a fourteen year old boy. I know you only meant to tease her; all brothers do that kind of thing. And if nothing bad had happened to her that night you wouldn't have given it a second thought.

"The way you describe your relationship with her makes it sound so wonderful and so special. She loved you, Edward. She wouldn't want you to feel miserable for the rest of your existence. She'd want you to be happy. It sounds to me as if you were a fantastic big brother.

"And Edward, please, don't EVER question my love for you. I loved you before you told me about Lottie and I love you even more now, if that's possible. You opened up and shared with me something that was so painful to you that you never even thought about it yourself till now." My words are meant to comfort and soothe but I know it's not enough. Still I am surprised when he turns to me, takes me in his arms, and gives me a soft kiss.

"Thank you, Bella," he sighs softly into my hair. I hug him tightly against my heart, which is now so full of love and the need to take care of him that I think it might burst. So this is what it feels like to want to protect someone you love. It is both wonderful and frightening. I realize suddenly that this is how Edward must feel about me all of the time, and this makes me fall in love with him a little more.

"Edward, what happened to you afterwards? Can you tell me?"

"Yes, and I want to Bella. But not here, not in our bed," he says to me imploringly. I understand exactly what he means when he says this. He doesn't want our bed to become tarnished with his bitter memories. I don't want that either. So I hop out of bed and ask him if he wants to take a quick shower before we resume our talk. He seems reluctant at first but then he changes his mind, rolls off the bed, and walks with me into his bathroom.

I turn on the dual shower heads and wait for the water to warm. I don't ask him if he wants company in the shower; there is no need. We get in and let the water run over us both. I soap him up, and he lets me wash his hair. I have to have him bend down to do this and he complies like an obedient child. There is nothing remotely sexual in this shower time, but there is blissful comfort and satisfaction in caring for his needs. When we are finished cleaning each other we get out and wrap ourselves in thick Turkish towels. I exit the bathroom and throw my jeans on and the same hoodie I wore earlier. I watch Edward reach into his closet and he pulls out the first clothing his hands touch: a pair of faded jeans and an old sweatshirt. I can barely make out the emblem but I see the faint outline of what appears to be an Indian. I ask him and he tells me it is from a high school that he attended in Oregon back in the 70's. I am surprised when he tells me this; he has never mentioned Oregon before. And this makes me a little sad, for I realize then that no matter how close we become, there will always be wide gaps of the unknown between us. He has lived so much longer than me. As if he can read my thoughts he turns to me and says quietly, "Bella, my life didn't begin until you came into it. I need you to know that." He gives me a hug and presses a kiss into my hair.

I look at him and wonder if it would be better for him to share the rest of his story with me in a different setting altogether.

"Edward, why don't we go for a walk? It looks like it's nice outside and I could use some fresh air."

"Do you want to go to our meadow?" he asks quietly. I think about it for a moment but shake my head no. Just as he didn't want to taint our bed with sad memories, I didn't want to spoil our meadow with sorrow. We agree to go for a walk outside on the grounds of the Cullen property. We walk outback and head down to the river. It is such a pretty spot. We cross the little bridge that spans the water and sit on a bench that is facing the river. The bench is wide and actually comfortable. We both open our mouths to speak at the same time, and our words collide midair. We laugh a bit, and I indicate to him to go first. He shakes his head and gives me a small, tight smile.

"No, you first… I hardly know where to begin…."his voice trails off.

"Okay. Why don't you start by telling me what happened after Lottie fell." I HATE asking him this question, but we're never going to be able to move on if he doesn't tell me the rest of this story. I only pray that he can keep it together long enough to get the words out. Seeing Edward cry earlier was the most gut wrenching experience of my life and I NEVER want to witness that again. I honestly think I will lose my own shit if he does, I really do. But then I chastise myself for feeling that way. Remember Bella…this isn't about YOU. If Edward falls apart again, you WILL find the strength to deal with it. You have to. You're his mate. I squeeze his hands reassuringly and give him a little hug. He swallows thickly and gives me a quick nod.

"After…after, she _fell…_I scooped her up in my arms and ran out of the house. I had no medical training, I know now that I should have checked her pulse and her back for injuries. But in my heart I already knew she was gone. Her, her…NECK…her neck was broken, Bella. I ran out into the street with her in my arms and just ran like a madman. I was crying and begging her to be alright and I kept telling her over and over again how sorry I was. That's when I ran into Carlisle. He lived on the next block. I didn't know him, but I knew who he was. Mrs. Tuttle used to talk about him sometimes to my mother. She called him strange but kind. Anyway, Carlisle was coming home from work and when he saw me running towards him with Lottie, he brought us both into his house. He examined her…but it was too late…she was already gone."

"Oh, Edward…how _awful _for you. I'm so sorry, baby." I want to hug him but he seems too revved up…I think he needs to finish his story, so I indicate for him to continue.

"I don't really remember all of the details after that, Bella. I don't know if it's my vampire mind that is making my human memories cloudy or if it's me somehow repressing these memories. I haven't thought about any of this for years. To be completely honest with you…I haven't thought about Lottie at all since my transformation. I only remember her fall and that I felt responsible. I couldn't save her….I failed her, Bella. I was her big brother, and I failed her!"

"So that's why you're always so sad, Edward. That's why you're always running away when things get to be too much…that's why you worry about failing to protect me and everyone you love." I grab him around his neck and hug him close to me. I want to make him better; I don't want sadness to dominate his existence anymore.

"I suppose so. I never really thought about it in such a manner." He seems surprised at my amateur psychoanalysis, and I hope I'm not screwing up his poor vampire head too much. I mean, I'm no Oprah. Crap…where is Dr. Phil when you need him?

"So, you met Carlisle that night. Did he find your parents for you?"

"Yes…I think so. I don't really remember those kind of details at all I'm afraid. But I do know that I went to see him after her funeral. I remember he was very kind to me."

"Were your parents mad at you Edward?" I feel I have to ask this question, even though I dread his answer.

"No, they were horribly upset about the entire situation, but I do know that they forgave me and didn't blame me. But I blamed myself, Bella."

"After Lottie died everything in our lives changed. It was as if someone pulled the plug. My mother especially was changed; she became a shadow of her former self. She was always one for playing games and having impromptu parties and gatherings. Everyone who knew my mother loved her…she was so vibrant and alive! But…after Lottie died…she withdrew. I rarely saw her smile after that, Bella. And my father…well, let's just say after Lottie died, he defined the expression workaholic. We rarely ever saw him after that. He stayed at work for long hours; taking on case after case…he only came home for meals and to sleep. It was awful."

"What about you, Edward? What happened to you after she…died? Did you go back to school?" I asked sadly.

"Yes, I had no choice but to go back to school. But it wasn't the same…_I wasn't_ the same. I threw myself into my studies and didn't play sports anymore. I came home from school everyday only to find my mother lost in one of her mad schemes to communicate with Lottie."

"Communicate with Lottie!" I gasped. "What on earth do you mean, _communicate_?" I asked incredulously

"Séances, readings, meetings with psychics and the like; it was horrid!"

"Bella, I told you that my mother was originally from Scotland, but what I didn't tell you was that she was a firm believer in spirits and the afterlife. She herself had been blessed with the second sight, and she was…well…_fey_."

"_Fey_, what does that mean?" I ask curiously.

Edward sighs and shakes his head. "Fey is a Scottish word to describe someone who was born with the ability to see beyond all things of reason. She was born with the caul over her eyes. In other words, she was still in her amniotic sack when she came into the world. In the old days many people believed that those who bore the veil of the caul would be psychically gifted. In some ways she was a lot like Alice; she had visions… I know that must sound very strange to you…" his voice trails off.

"Uh, NO…Renée's daughter, here, remember? Trust me when I say that there isn't much that you could possibly tell me about mystics and psychic shit that I haven't already heard about," I chuckle lightly. Edward still hasn't met the free spirited hippie who calls herself my mother. I sincerely doubt that Elizabeth Masen could have held a candle to her in the weirdo department! And this thought gives me such a warm feeling all of a sudden. Maybe Edward and I had more in common than we realized. Both of our moms were off beat characters. Huh, who knew!

He leans over and gives me a quick hug. "I forgot that your mother is interested in the paranormal, Bella. Of course you would understand. Yes, my mother was a bit…strange…for lack of a better word. But she balanced her interest in the psychical world extraordinarily well until Lottie passed away. We even attended a traditional church and my mother was an active member. However, in her heart she believed that all roads eventually lead to the same place. But after Lottie died she changed dramatically…she became…_obsessed_. It was as if her entire world revolved around communicating with the dead…It was bizarre. I prayed that she would get over it in time, but she never did. Of course this upset my father too, but he was so immersed in his work that he did very little to dissuade her. Every day I would come home from school and another charlatan would be at her side: reading her palms, having her sip tea so they might read her tea leaves and so forth. But those damn séances were the absolute worse! She was always trying to coax me into participating, but I couldn't. It was too painful. After a few months of this, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was distraught. I…I…ran away."

"Oh, Edward, no! Where did you go?" My heart breaks for him even now, although reason tells me that all of these horribly sad things happened to him so long ago. But he did tell me that he hasn't talked or even thought about all this since his transformation. Maybe telling me all of this will be cathartic for him, just like Carlisle said in his letter.

"I didn't get very far, Bella," he says ruefully. I managed to hop on a train to Beloit…but my father was there waiting for me when I got off. Apparently Carlisle was at the station when I embarked for my journey. He overheard where I was headed and went to see my father and gave him warning."

"Why were you going to Beloit, Edward? Where is that anyway?"

Edward laughs at my questions and shakes his head. "I have NO idea! I just grabbed the first available ticket and hopped on board. I guess I figured I'd look for work once I got there. I honestly don't recall the details. But I DO remember how wonderful my father was to me when he found me. He hugged me and told me he loved me…I don't think I ever heard him tell me that he loved me before."

"What! Why on earth not…surely he must have told you he loved you?"

"No, I'm quite certain that was the first time. People didn't express their feelings quite as openly back then Bella, especially men. But regardless, it was wonderful to hear them. He made me promise that I would never leave him again. He told me he couldn't bear to lose another child…"

I lean over and give him a kiss in the center of his forehead. "I understand exactly what he meant by that Edward. You're wonderful, and sweet and so loving. Of course he couldn't bear to lose you. I…I …know how hard it would be for me to lose you…I couldn't bear it either." I sniff back the tears that threaten to pour forth; it was only 24 hours ago when I almost lost Edward myself.

Edward wraps his arms around me as if he could read my mind. "I'm never going to leave you, love. Never worry about that again. I was very wrong to have ever contemplated leaving you. I know that now. But I swear by all that is holy, I will never leave your side again. Not unless you order me to…and even then…I'll be there…watching over you…ALWAYS." He whispers all this to me so softly that I have to press my ear closer to his mouth. I sigh…I believe his every word. Edward will never leave me, of that I am certain. We are in too deep now. There is no turning back.

I turn my face just then and his lips leave my ear and he presses small kisses on my jaw and then my mouth. Our kiss starts off gently but then begins to heat; soon we are sharing tongues and small moans and I wonder if it will always be like this between us now.

"Oh, Bella…"he moans against my neck, "I _want_ you…is it wrong to feel this way?" his voice is trembling with need and desire, yet he sounds so wonderfully boyish…all insecure and adorable.

"No, baby…it's not wrong. Not at all," I whisper in return. "I feel the same way as you. But I do think we need to finish our talk, Edward. Besides…my…um…_lady parts_, need a little downtime…if you get my drift." I giggle softly. He sighs a little and I feel his chest rumble. I suppose you're right," he says regretfully. He looks at me and smirks. "For two former virgins I think we've certainly made up for lost time, love," he sniggers quietly.

I feel myself blushing madly into his chest and he takes my face in his hands and forces me to look into his eyes. "Do you regret that we made love, Bella? Should we…should we have _waited_? In my time a man who compromised a woman would have married her immediately," he says emphatically and I think…a little sadly.

"No, Edward…I'm not sorry that we didn't wait. Besides…were too young to even think about getting married! We're still in high school, for Pete's sake." I try to laugh away his fears but I know from my talk yesterday with Alice and Rosalie that he has held fast to the moral teachings of his youth all these years, so I decide to ask him the same question in return.

"Do YOU wish we had waited, Edward?" I ask holding my breath. God PLEASE don't let him have any regrets, I couldn't take it if he did!

"No, Bella…I don't wish that we had waited; I just wish we could have had some kind of an _understanding,_" he says longingly.

An _understanding_? Huh! What does he mean by that? My 21st century brain is trying desperately to interpret his Victorian lingo.

"What do you mean by an _understanding_?" I ask struggling to comprehend.

"Well, back in my time when a man and woman were serious about their respective feelings for each other, they would enter into a betrothment. A man would pledge his love and devotion to his intended, and with her father's permission, he would present her with a ring. Then they would become engaged to be married," he says with a smile.

Squeal! Swoon! Keep still my romantic and crazy heart! OMG…is he…is he…going to PROPOSE? My stomach is full of butterflies. But he only smiles shyly and shrugs.

"I know you're still too young for an engagement, Bella. But…I hope _someday_, you'll be willing to consider this idea."

Huh? Stupid, dumbass, vampire. When is he EVER going to learn? I sigh…double sigh…_men_…they're just so freaking clueless sometimes. No I'm not quite ready to get married…but an _engagemen_t to my hot, sexy, broody vampire? Oh…yeah! But, if I've learned anything over the years from all the trashy romance novels I inhale, it is that men don't like to be rushed into these things and they like being the one in control. I may not be the most experienced girl in the world, but I do know that much. I keep my trap shut and give him a small kiss. Then I jump up off the bench where we've been sitting for at least an hour and stretch my arms up over my head.

"Do you want to go back to the house now, love?" he asks.

"Yes, I need a human moment and then maybe some lunch. What about you Edward? Do you need lunch too?" I ask teasingly.

"No, I hunted well yesterday morning and I should be good for a few days. But let's get you back to the house. I'm sure I can prepare something from the basket that Esme left for you. Unless you're getting tired of ham and cheese?" he asks me.

"No, that sounds good," I say as we enter through the glass doors to Esme's sunny kitchen. "I'll be back in a minute."

"No, I'll bring it up to you, besides, I want to show you some more pictures…that is, if you're still interested in learning more about my old life," he says faltering.

I go over to him and wrap my arms around him. "I want to learn everything about you Edward," I whisper in his ear. "Of course I do. I'll wait for you upstairs." He hugs me back and I go upstairs slowly. Even though this has been a painfully difficult morning for Edward, it's been an extraordinarily enlightening one for me. I'm finally unraveling the mystery of Edward Cullen, and though he is sad and burdened with guilt and loss, he is also beautiful, and perfect. He is mine.

EPOV

I assemble Bella's lunch quickly and start to head back upstairs. But then I change my mind and decide to sit at the table for a few minutes to wrap my head around everything that's happened over the last few hours. I let out a huge sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose; what a morning!

When I first started my talk with Bella about my human life and especially the part about Lottie, I honestly didn't know what to expect. I thought for certain that Bella would be appalled and ashamed of me over my past. But as is often the case with Bella, she never responds the way I think she will. Her unconditional love, soft touches, and tender words, were like a balm to my tortured soul.

_My soul…_

I gasp when I realize I've had that thought…for I truly don't believe it is possible for a vampire to possess one. And yet…and yet…when I broke down towards the end of my story about Lottie's accident, something bizarre happened. I felt myself crack wide open from within, and a tidal wave of grief and remorse flooded my entire being. I felt hot and flushed for the first time in my vampire existence. I trembled violently, and then the dam in my chest burst open; I felt a rush of hot, salty tears pour out of my eyes. I can't explain why that happened; I have never experienced anything like it. I know of no one in the vampire world who has experienced this type of phenomenon. I can't explain it but I have to acknowledge it, it was extraordinary and astonishing and amazing all at the same time. And it was horrible too…because the pain that I suffered in my very depths was like no other I have ever endured as a vampire…I had felt, for the first time since 1918 like a…human. It brought me into Bella's arms where I shuddered and wept like a child.

Bella…was there ever such a woman in this entire world with more love and compassion in her being? I think not. I do not know what I have done in my past life or present existence to deserve this beautiful and perfect girl, but I am eternally grateful to the fates, or to God, or whatever deity exists for bringing her to me. She truly does love me; this thought leaves me feeling humbled and…blessed.

_Blessed? _

Maybe…just _maybe_…I do have a… _soul._ For only God would allow a woman like Bella to find her way into my life, and to love me regardless of whom or what I am.

I decide to talk with Carlisle upon his return, hoping that he might be able to shed some light on what happened to me when I opened myself up to Bella and faced my past.

Till then I will remain ambiguous about my soul. In spite of my ambiguity, I do something that I have not done in over a hundred years.

I pray for guidance and I pledge to be worthy.

And for the first time in my existence I feel…hope.

BPOV

Edward brings my lunch to me, and I eat it quietly while sitting on his couch. Truthfully, I am not that hungry after the beautiful omelet he'd made me earlier this morning, but if I don't eat a little something he'll scold me. And this thought fills me with love instead of irritation…how I wish I could take care of him the same way. This thought makes me a little bit sad. I will never know the joy of cooking for the man I love, or rub his stomach when he is ill. He has no human needs to care for; there is nothing I can ever do to care for him like he does for me. Nothing…

I feel my eyes fill with tears and I try in vain to ward them off. He catches me just now, as I sigh a little and asks me what's wrong. Rather than lie to him I decide to offer him the truth.

"Nothing's wrong, Edward," I say. "I just wish…I wish... I could take care of you like you take care of me," my words are faltering and, I am sure, somewhat wistful.

Edward looks at me stunned. "Bella, you _do_ take care of me," he says as he kneels by my side. He takes my hands and kisses my fingers gently and almost reverently. "Don't you know how loved you make me feel? You are the most loving and generous person I have ever known. You have helped me so much this past year; you know that don't you?"

EPOV

She gives me a small smile and a little shrug, and I continue.

"Bella, remember last night when I was trying to comfort and reassure you about your misgivings; when you thought you had seduced me?" She nods then, a little embarrassed. I hug her close and whisper the rest in her ear. "I told you then that you were like a shooting star that shot across my moonless night, remember? And you laughed at me and told me I was cheesy, and that's okay, because I was. But Bella, it's the truth…I was being overly theatrical…but even though my choice of words was dramatic, it doesn't change the fact that this is how I feel.

"You are _everything _to me, Love. No one takes care of me like you do. From the moment you entered my life you have helped me. I've told you before that I wasn't even alive before you walked into that biology lab and into my heart. You talk to me and listen to me and calm me when I'm obsessing and lamenting. You make me laugh when I want to brood. You never allow me to be anything but myself, always. You've made me feel like I am a real man, and not some supernatural being. And even today you were there for me when I shared a part of my past with you, a piece of me that was hidden deep inside for so long that I barely remembered it. You held me when I _cried_ Bella. You held me and called me your baby and you made me feel safe and so loved. No one has ever done that for me in this existence, Bella, only you."

Bella begins to cry softly and I sit on the couch and pull her onto my lap. I shush her and tell her how much I love her and how much I need her. And she calms in my arms and presses soft kisses on my neck and whispers in my ear how much she loves and needs me too. We sit there for a few minutes and then she releases her hold on my neck, sits back and gives me a sheepish smile. I nudge her shoulder lightly and we both chuckle a little. Our emotions have been all over the place this weekend and I am desperate to lighten the atmosphere. I kiss her on her forehead and settle her back against the couch.

"Bella, do you still want to hear more about my life as a human?" She sits up and nods her head and I lean over and pick up a few books, a folder, and some old photographs. I hand her the small folder and she opens it and takes the items out, slowly and carefully. The first item she looks at is an old report card of mine dated 1911. I was in the 4th grade. She reads it carefully and then I hear her laugh.

"Oh, Edward…this is hysterical! You made straight A's in every subject except Deportment. _Deportment_…Hah! You got in trouble for talking too much during lectures and for horse playing with your peers!" She giggles at me and I join in.

"I told you I wasn't always this quiet and broody, Bella. When I was a human I loved to play and joke around with my school chums."

"Your school _chums,"_ she teases playfully.

"Yes, my _chums_…why, what should I call them, my _pals_? I ask feigning ignorance. Perhaps I should refer to them as my _buddies_? Or even better, my _homies_?" These comments elicit more giggles from Bella and I join in; after this morning's depressing conversation it feels good to laugh.

"Do you have any pictures of your old friends, Edward?" she asks her face all flushed and rosy from her laughter.

"Well, I think so. Let's look through my old yearbooks and I'll see if I can point a few of them out to you." We spend the next few minutes looking over my high school annual. I do my best to recall a little something about my classmates, but it is extremely difficult as I haven't given any of them thought in many years. I do remember a few of my closest chums however, and I point to a picture of one who had been my best friend for many years.

"This was Howard Vance, Bella. He was probably my closest friend all through my childhood and remained so until he died." I look at the caption under Howards name; it reads 'Stinky.' I chuckle at his picture and recall him fondly. Stinky and I had gotten into many scraps and all sorts of high jinks together. He'd had fire engine red hair and a face full of freckles. The black and white photo certainly hadn't been able to capture his ruddy and robust complexion and coloring, that's for sure!

"_Stinky_?" she asks with a raise brow. "Do I even want to know how he got that nickname?"

"No, probably not," I say with a laugh. "Let's just say he earned it…_repeatedly_…and we'll leave it at that."

"You said he remained your friend until he died, Edward. How did he die? Was he sick or was he in some sort of accident…"her voice trails off. I can tell that she is being careful with me on this subject.

"He died in the first wave of the influenza pandemic, Bella" I sighed. So many of my classmates passed away before I myself succumbed to the disease.

"Oh, Edward…I'm so sorry. Did you lose many classmates to the flu before you got sick?"

"Yes, unfortunately." I sighed. It was painful to remember though admittedly my memories of the specifics are fleeting and vague at best. But I promised Bella that I would share everything I could remember, every minute detail, no matter how small or insignificant, so I do. I tell her about going to school in September of 1918 and how every day yet another seat in our classroom would be vacant. I tell her how I went to church with my parents and entire pews in the church we attended would be empty. I tell her that when my family inquired about the state of affairs of other families it was not so much a question of who had died, but how many. Nearly every family we knew had lost someone.

"Edward, that must have been horrible for you…It had only been a few years since lost your sister. How did you cope?"

"Well, in all honesty, Bella…I didn't really cope very well. After Lottie died I didn't have as much to do with my school mates aside from classes. I guess that's when I became more introspective. At the same time that all this was going on in my personal life, our country was preparing to go to war. Because of my family life, I decided that going to war was my best choice. I became obsessed with the idea of becoming a soldier. I was very patriotic and wanted desperately to serve my country, Bella. But I also knew I had nothing to lose: Lottie was gone, my mother went mad, and my father became a distant figure. If it hadn't been for Carlisle…"

"_Carlisle?"_ she interrupts, "You mean you saw him a lot after Lottie died?"

"Not a lot, no, but I did stop in to see him from time to time. He was very kind to me and always made me feel welcome. He listened to my troubles and always offered the proper amount of encouragement and support. I admired him so much."

"Did you ever suspect he might be a vampire?"

"No, though I admit…I did find him to be _different_, just as Mrs. Tuttle once remarked. But I also found him to be a kind and decent man…selfless, really. He was and is the most remarkable man I have ever known."

We return to looking at the old photos and other memorabilia. Bella makes comments, sighs, giggles, and sheds the occasional tear. When we are finished looking at everything she turns to me and gives me a tight hug.

"Edward…you're _still_ Teddy Masen. _You are_…" she insists as I frown and shrug off her remark.

"Baby, I have _seen _Teddy in you…so many times over the past year. Remember when you held me for the first time in the meadow and gave me my first kiss? _That_ was Teddy. And later when you flung me on your back and ran through the woods, laughing away my fears…_that_ was Teddy, too. Remember when you danced with me to Claire De Lune and held me close? And all those nights when you stole into my room to watch me sleep and keep me safe…you _were _Teddy."

"Oh, Edward…don't you see? You _ARE_ Teddy…you're Teddy all grown up. You're still the same sweet boy who loved to romp and play the piano for his baby sister. And you're still the wonderful, loving, and overly protective boy who would lay his own life down, for his friends, his family, even his country. You are _still _that boy, Edward. I've _seen_ him. I saw him today…I held him in my arms while he cried, Edward. I did…I saw him in YOU…he's still there, and he's…he's _beautiful_."

I hardly know how to respond; her words are so sweetly sincere to my ears. I pull her close to my heart and hold her as tightly as I dare. "Thank you, Bella," I whisper in her ear.

"For what?" she asks surprised. I hug her again and kiss her on her brow.

"For being YOU and for loving me, unconditionally," I look at her in awe and in love.

"You're my best friend Bella…you're my sweetheart, my beloved, my mate …" My words falter, because in this moment I am overcome with love and gratitude. But also because I am on the verge of saying the words that I want say…more than anything else…

I want to say…You are my _wife…_

And before I can stop them from coming, before I can stave them off, I find myself dropping to my knees and looking into those deep pools of beautiful brown eyes, and I swallow hard.

"Marry me, Bella…"

**Authors note: Gasp! I NEVER intended Edward to ask Bella to marry him in this chapter…but apparently Edward had other plans. Sheesh! This vampire freaking OWNS me!**

**So…the BIG QUESTION…how will Bella respond?**

**This chapter explores Edward's past as a means of explaining his tendencies to brood and his overall moodiness. It also offers us a glimpse into his past, one that Edward himself has not faced since his transition in 1918. Yes, this is a departure from the lighthearted humor of the first 12 chapters, but it is necessary to the overall plot and theme of this story. I do want to assure you that we will return to the fun and the sweet sexy-times in subsequent chapters as these two lovers continue to make choices as they face the forks in their road.**

**And now a word about the timeline in this story thus far. When our journey began, it was the morning (September 14****th****) after Bella was nearly attacked by Jasper at her 18****th**** birthday party. It is now, Saturday, September 15****th****. So much has happened over the last 15 chapters that I feel obliged to remind you that only two days have passed since her birthday. The majority of this story will be told in the span of a long weekend. **

**I do want to remind you that Edward's breakdown in which he shed real tears and Bella sees a glimpse of his human self, is reflecting a phenomenon that neither he nor Bella can explain or understand. It is OOC, and is my concept, and NOT one that Meyers ever wrote about in her original story.**

**Thank you so much for reading and for your reviews. This has been an awesome experience for me and I am so happy that you have taken the time to let me know your thoughts and of your enjoyment. Your reviews are so appreciated!**

**Jayne**


	16. Chapter 16: Snarling and Growling

This chapter was made possible by coleen561. I owe so much to Coleen…if it wasn't for her mad beta skills this would have been an awful mess of misplaced commas and dangling participles! More importantly though, it was her comments and suggestion that steered me in the right direction, and helped me find the way when I was lost in EPOV. Thank you Coleen!

Chapter 16

Snarling and Growling…

BPOV

"Marry me, Bella."

Edward's words are ringing in my ears. My heart thuds and I swear it is audible, even to my very human ears. My breath stops, my eyes flutter…oh my GOD…am I going to faint? No…I will NOT faint. But I do have to sit further back in my seat and steady myself. I look up at him and see his face, his eyes are so full of love and something else…questions? Yes, they are definitely full of questions, and maybe…anticipation. I want to answer him…truly I do…but I am so stunned that all I can do is sit here staring at him, flapping my jaw like a fish out of water.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asks, looking at me anxiously. "Please…I am going mad…say something…I beg you…"He looks at me concerned and frantic. His usual composure is gone, and I swear he is breathing even harder than I am. I want to say yes...I do…but the word will not come out no matter how hard I work my mouth. I do however, manage to hold up my finger, and silently ask him for a moment to compose myself. He nods in agreement, though his face is full of emotion.

Finally, after the longest pause in the history of mankind, I speak.

"Edward…did you just…ask me to _marry you_?" I ask, needing confirmation. It hasn't escaped me that the three words, _marry me Bella_, were not punctuated by a question mark. No, it was said more as a _plea_. And this concerns me just a little, because it sounds…impulsive. And impulsivity is not a word that is found in Edward Cullen's vocabulary. No…he is much too organized and controlled in his thought process to be impulsive. I look at him expectantly and he casts his eyes down briefly. And in that brief moment, I know. I know then that Edward had not planned to ask me to marry him. No…this was Edward being caught up in the moment. This revelation both delights me and concerns me. It thrills me because I love the fact that he is throwing caution to the wind and is putting himself out there…but it scares me too, because I don't want to lock him into an engagement if he is not one hundred percent certain that this is what he truly wants. This entire weekend has been such an emotional rollercoaster, and I wonder if we are moving forward way too fast.

Finally…I hear him speak.

"Bella, I can't read your mind, but I can see the wheels turning. Let me assure you, sweetheart, I _want_ to marry you…I have ALWAYS wanted to marry you. But, no…I suppose I didn't ask you properly, the way I should have…" his words falter, and he takes my hands tenderly. I can already see the words forming in his mouth but I put my hand on his shoulder and stop him before he is able to speak. He looks at me with a raised brow.

"Baby, come here," I say, patting the seat next to me. He rises then, and sits next to me, and I put my hands on either side of his face. I kiss him lightly on his cheek, and cast my eyes down for a moment, gathering both my words and my courage.

"Edward, first off…_yes_…I do want to marry you, of course I do. _But_…you didn't really ask me…you just said the words." He opens his mouth to reassure me that he meant them, but I cut him off gently.

"Edward, let me ask you a question." He nods and kisses my hands and looks at me intently waiting for me to speak. After a long pause, I do.

"You say you want to marry me, and yet you still haven't agreed to change me. I think before you ask me to marry you we need to discuss that part of our future too, don't you?" I am actually shocked by my own composure, because in reality all I really want to do is scream, YES! Then I want to jump up and down, and do a little happy dance, and call Alice, and maybe even Rose. In fact part of me is already picking out my wedding gown and the curtains for our future home. _But_…this is a really big deal…and if we don't get the kinks worked out regarding my transformation, he'll be waltzing me down the aisle before the ink is even dry on the marriage license, and then have the pleasure of watching me age, year after terrible year. I let out a huge sigh, remove my hands from his grasp, and wait for his response.

"Bella, I KNOW you want an answer now, but I've told you…I don't WANT this life for you. I love you so much, Bella. You have to understand…if I were to change you, it would be damning your soul for eternity. Bella, don't you see? This would be the most selfish act I could ever commit." He looks at me imploringly.

And here we go again…the return of the soulless monster.

"I thought you told me yesterday that all this drama had nothing to do with my soul," I challenge him. He looks down at his hands and I sense his hesitation.

"I lied," he finally admits, failing to look me in the eyes.

"You know, Edward. I appreciate you looking out for my soul, I really do. But it's MY soul to look after, not YOURS. I know you don't believe that you have a soul, but I do. I have seen your soul…I saw it today. It's there, inside of you." I rest my hand on his heart. "You just have to see it for yourself." He shakes his head and looks at me sadly. I had really hoped when he had his break down this morning in my arms that he'd caught a glimpse of his soul. I was almost certain he had, but as usual I must have been fooling myself.

I look at him and let out another sigh. I realize then that I am going to have my work cut out for me with this one. But this time I am determined not to fly off the handle or get involved in another fit of drama. I am not going to cry or beg this go around…that kind of behavior never worked for me in the past anyway. I struggle internally for a few moments to find the right words before I speak.

"Okay, then…let me get this straight. You say you want to _marry me_, but you don't want to _change me_, am I right?" I am doing my level best to keep the sarcasm at bay, but it's difficult.

He looks at me and stares. I see him gulp a few times. I think my question is a valid one, but he isn't quick to answer, so I jump back in the conversation with a comment of my own.

"Look, Edward…if you're not willing to change me then what would be the point of marrying me? I mean, sure…it would be okay for a few years…ten at most. But then I would start to age, and people would start wondering. Hell…I'd look like a cougar for a few years, and then the next thing you know I'd be charged with a crime. I mean a 65 year old woman who is married to a 17 year old boy is going to raise a LOT of flags. I'm sure you can see the problems with that. And even if we lived somewhere remote, and could get by with it…it still wouldn't be right. I would HATE looking like your grandmother, Edward. And eventually you would too. And then…finally…after all those years…I'd be dead. And where would that leave you? You'd be left all alone and back to square one. Except this time it would be worse, because you'd know what it's like to have loved and been loved in return. No, I don't want that life, Edward. And more importantly, I don't want you to have to suffer that loss throughout eternity."

"But, Bella…it wouldn't have to be that way. We could live for many years as husband and wife, with you as a human. And then, later… much later, when you are older, and have had every human experience you deserve, then I could change you."

"God, Edward….that doesn't even make sense! What's the difference between changing me now, as opposed to changing me when I am an old woman? My soul is my soul…regardless of how old I am."

"I know it doesn't make sense to you, Bella. I'm trying here…I really am. But _I want_ to marry you…I just…" his voice trails off.

I exhale noisily…he sounds so earnest and sweet. And I am tempted…don't get me wrong. I WANT to marry Edward Cullen. But, he is NOT calling all the shots with this one. So I decide to pull out the big guns.

"Alright, then, well how about this… what if something happens to me before you change me, huh? Have you thought about that? Think about it, Edward. Think about Jasper, for example. What if he loses it again…maybe takes another swipe at me. What if he _kills_ me, Edward? What then?" I give him a hard look and he flinches as if I struck him. This makes my heart clench, and I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. I blink them away angrily; I do NOT want to cry. I take a deep breath and continue.

"Okay…never mind Jasper. How about this… I could have an accident and get _myself_ killed. You know how clumsy I am." I run my hand over my injured arm.

And that's when I hear the first snarl.

"Bella, please stop talking foolishness! First of all, I would never let Jasper or anyone else harm you, they wouldn't dare. Besides, I would be constantly at your side, watching over you. I promise I would never let anything happen to you."

Jesus lord…give me strength… This man's got an answer for everything. I realize then that this conversation is going nowhere, despite my best efforts. I decide right then that it's time to take a stand. I look him in the eyes, shake my head, and heave a sigh. Here goes nothing…

"No, I'm sorry, Edward. I _want_ to marry you, I do…with all my heart. But if you are not ready to commit to me for all of eternity, then you are NOT ready to marry me. And until you are ready to make that type of commitment, then my answer to you is no."

He looks at me stunned.

Oh, GOD…I am throwing down the gauntlet here, and I am shocking myself by my own words and actions. But I know one thing…I am not going to budge on this. Mr. Cullen is NOT going to wear the pants all the time in this relationship, regardless of how much I love him.

He pinches his nose, and lets out a growl of frustration. "Bella, WHY must you be so damn stubborn?" he fumes. "I told you I would be willing to change you in the future, _just not today_," he says to me in a barely concealed rage.

Aaaaaand my inner bitch's head pops up on high alert.

"Okay, first of all…you need to calm down. I NEVER said I expected you to change me today. What I said was that I want a commitment that you are willing to do it BEFORE we get married, or at the very least, soon after. But, I am NOT going to sit back while you pinch your damn stupid nose and growl at me, just because I didn't swoon at your feet with your half assed proposal."

Okay…yeah…I admit it…I am losing my composure just a tad. My inner bitch walks over to her suitcase and removes a pair of boxing gloves and puts them on.

"My _half assed _proposal?" he huffs. Ooh, he is looking pissed. I hear him try to stifle a snarl, unsuccessfully. Actually I am feeling more than a bit pissed off at this point too. God…he has a lot of nerve! He wants to marry me, but he doesn't want to change me. Christ on a cracker…is this man ever going to get it? I shake my head as I watch him lose his temper even further. I see his face contort, and watch in fascination as he clenches his jaw hard and releases another growl. Man…I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that wasn't hot as fuck. But Vamp-man has got a lot to learn about compromise, and I am NOT backing down on this.

"Okay, Edward, you go ahead and growl at me all you want. But I am NOT going to agree to marry you unless you're willing to meet me half way. With or without your permission, I AM going to be a vampire one day, whether YOU like it or not. Alice has already agreed to change me herself," I lie. Alice has never agreed to change me herself, neither have any of the other Cullens. But hey…he can't read my mind, so he doesn't know that.

My cell phone vibrates in my purse. I give him a look, hop off the couch, and walk over to my purse which is sitting on his bureau. I pluck it out, and read the text. It's from Alice.

**When do u want me to change u? **

I laugh out loud and strut over, hell… I FLOUNCE, back to Edward, who is still snarling and grumbling away on the couch.

I hand it to him with a smirk. He reaches out for it with his long elegant fingers, but I slap them away, suddenly remembering the fit he threw yesterday, when he got all pissy at the call from Tyler. I'm not having another phone destroyed by a foul tempered vampire who can't keep his shit together. I hold it close enough for him to read it, which isn't exactly a problem for Mr. Spidey Vision. He glances at it and starts snarling. I chuckle at him and toss it on the dresser. He is up on his feet in a flash.

"Bella, for the love of all that is holy…will you _please_ stop this nonsense?"

"NONSENSE?"

Oh, now I am really pissed. "This isn't _nonsense_, Edward. This is my LIFE…_our_ future. This isn't some kind of a game I'm playing. Shit! After everything we've been through today, you have the nerve to call this…nonsense?" My ass is really getting on my shoulders now. God, I'd LOVE to pop him one; which is probably not a good idea though, given his marble head and all… My head is swimming and my heart is breaking. I am at a total loss as to what to do or say. Completely confused and frustrated as hell, I realize I need some time to get myself together.

"You know what…I need to get out of here," I announce, not even thinking of what I am saying.

"Bella," he cries out. "No, please don't go!" He reaches out for me looking remorseful and upset. But I am still too pissed to acknowledge his gesture. My inner bitch gives me a stern look before my heart and resolve begins to thaw, and opens the door. _Let's go_…she commands.

"I am not leaving you, Edward. Unlike you, I don't run when the going gets tough. But I am going outside for a walk. I think we could both use a little break from each other right about now, and I need a little fresh air to clear my head."

"May I go with you?" he asks pleadingly.

"No, I need a little time. I'll be back in an hour, and then maybe we can talk. Why don't you take this time to think about everything we just said, and maybe take a minute or two to think about learning how to compromise and to quit being such a control freak?" I pretend to look at my watch.

"Hmmm…it's almost time for Dr. Phil…maybe he'll be able to offer you some tips." And with that said, I grab my jacket, and waltz out the door, but not before I catch his face. He looks upset, and maybe a little hurt, but I barely let it register as I head outdoors.

EPOV

FUCK! What the hell just happened here? One minute I'm on my damn knees asking her to marry me, and the next minute she's telling me off and waltzing out the door. I let out a growl of frustration, pinch my nose hard (this one's for you, sweetheart), and rake my fingers through my hair. I am so furious that I seriously want to break something. So I do.

I walk over to the bookshelf, grab an old tobacco jar that I bought in Virginia in 1947, and send it hurtling against the wall. It shatters into a hundred pieces, and the pennies that were inside roll to the four corners of my room.

Shit!

Fuck!

Damn!

I am still frustrated as hell, so I kick my desk chair, and it collapses on the floor like a cord of wood. I take a broken leg and send it flying into my flat screen TV, where it cracks the screen in two.

Fuck!

I look around at my room and chaos is everywhere. I drag my fingers through my hair and try to calm down, but it's difficult. This has been the hardest day of my vampire existence on so many levels. I cannot believe after everything that has transpired over the last few days that it has come to this. Frustrated, angry, and upset, I go over to the couch and plop down with a groan. I bury my face in my hands and let the bitterness slowly seep out of me. It is quickly replaced by an acute sense of loss. How had I let this happen?

I hurt her…again. And why? Because I let my stubborn sense of wanting to protect her from becoming like me cloud my judgment. I think back to our conversation regarding our souls, and I am full of remorse. Only an hour earlier I began to believe that I might possess a soul and had prayed to God for guidance. I pledged on my knees to make myself worthy of His grace. And yet, when I finally had the opportunity to share this revelation with Bella, I not only denied my own soul, I also refused to let her acknowledge her own thoughts. I dismissed her and treated her like a child. Not only that, she was right…it was a half-assed proposal. Christ, I hadn't even _asked_ her…I _commanded_ her. 'Marry me, Bella'…no question, no pretty words. Christ on a crutch…I didn't even have the ring in my hands.

I am an ass!

I let out a moan and decide that I need to clean up the mess that I've created: both the physical evidence of my destruction, as well as the emotional one. Groaning, I get back up and fetch a broom and dustpan from my closet and I begin to sweep the pieces of glass and debris into the trash can. I pick up the pieces of the broken chair and set them next to my desk, determined to repair the damage later. Then I bend over and scoop up what I can of the pennies and toss them in the silver bowl that was a trophy I'd won when I was 13 years old in a pole vaulting competition. The sound of the copper coins plinking inside the slivery confines of the bowl is a painful reminder of how empty and cold I feel inside. Shoving it aside, I walk over to the wall and remove the TV, carefully wrapping it in a sheet. Emmett is going to have a fit when he sees this; he had bought this for me as a welcome home present when I returned from Alaska last January.

I walk over to the photos and albums that are still sitting in front of the couch and pick them up intending to put them back on the bookshelf. But, I am still so aggravated that I use far too much force, and the entire shelf collapses.

SHIT!

Frustrated, I kneel and begin sorting through the myriad of papers, letters, pictures, and various remnants of my human life, putting them into small piles. I pluck up the albums and books, and stack them to the side, determined to arrange them later. I quickly stand and my shoulder hits the top shelf. Suddenly, my 100 years of journals tumble to the floor.

_Oh for the love all that's holy…_

I scoop them up, and begin to sort them in chronological order. 1918, 1919, 1920, 1921, 1922…the years roll on. I open up a few of them and read snatches of my journal entries, but they are so damn boring. What does Bella always say? Ah yes…blah, blah, blah… Christ what a dull and miserable existence. I remember joking with Bella that she could read them if she wanted something to help her fall asleep. Annoyed, I shove them to the side and decide to fix the shelf.

I head over to the closet and pull out my tool kit, looking for a screw driver. When I open the case, I find a small envelope that is stuffed with snapshots. Curious, I sit on the floor and look at them. They are snap shots of my family through-out the decades. I'm confused as to why these are in my tool kit; I certainly would never have put them there. I see a small post it stuck on the back of the envelope and roll my eyes…

_A trip down memory lane with the Cullen clan. Enjoy! Love, Alice_

I pull out a photograph from 1977 and grin. It had been taken at Disney Land. Emmett had been dying to go there ever since it had opened in 1955. Finally, after listening to him whine for over 20 years, we agreed to have a family vacation and see the sights. Thanks to Alice's ability to foretell the future weather forecast, we were able to spend a great day in the park. Chuckling, I pull out the picture of us in front of Cinderella's castle; all of us are sporting mouse ears and ridiculous grins. Emmett looks like an ass, and from the smirk on Rosalie's face, she looks like she agrees with my assessment. That had been a good day. Riffling further through the snapshots, I find myself looking at all of us in other settings too. The coast of Maine, Yosemite Park, The Grand Canyon, Faneuil Hall. The Liberty Bell, The opening of the Space Needle. Jasper and Alice kissing on top of Old Smokey…Esme and Carlisle embracing on their private beach in Brazil. Rose and Emmett laughing as he carries her piggy back over the Rialto Bridge.

In every picture, I stand alone.

The last picture in the pile is different. It is a family photo that Esme took of us in early August. Bella had just arrived to spend the night with Alice, and Esme had hustled us all into the large living room for a few pictures. I remember how she set up the tripod so all of us could be in the picture. I see us all paired up.

Carlisle and Esme.

Rose and Emmett.

Jasper and Alice.

_Bella and Edward…_

And this is when it happens. Right here, in this very moment, I see my future on a glossy 5x7 …

This is MY mate.

My love…

My life…

My wife…

I am not alone anymore. I have a future, and in this simple little picture I suddenly see what I should have seen all along.

Bella is already one of us.

I go back over to the couch and sit down heavily, dragging my fingers through my hair. Why have I been fighting this? I glance over at the pile of journals, albums, scrapbooks, and folders, and all I see is loneliness. My life was completely empty before she arrived on that cold, rainy January day. I shake my head and sigh. I don't want to repair the shelf and fill it up with my past. I want to build a showcase and adorn it with my future. Our future…

I think about all the things we'll do, the places we'll go, and my spirit begins to soar. I look at the empty shelf, and I close my eyes, imagining the treasures that Bella and I will gather together. I see us arguing over trinkets in silly gift shops; do we want the bobble head lobster or star fish key chain? I can hear her laughter as she runs on the beach collecting shells and bits of sea glass in sturdy plastic buckets. I can taste the acrid fumes of exhaust as we plod though the city streets of New York, Paris, and London. Maybe we'll save ticket stubs and train passes and coins from faraway lands. I can't wait to see her face when she sees the Eifel Tower and the ruins of Pompeii. I can feel Bella's excitement as I carry her across the moors of Scotland when we visit my mother's place of birth. And finally, I can smell her intoxicating arousal mixed with my own, as I make love to her slowly…in fluffy feather beds and on sandy beaches, in every country and place she has ever read or dreamed about. I see the shelf groaning from the weight of our future…and it's full, and rich, and beautiful.

I open my eyes and sigh…I spent my last century as a solitary man, and I was as alone as a man could possibly be. But I don't have to live that life anymore.

I am not alone anymore, but I know now that if I don't find a way to compromise, and let Bella help me make decisions…decisions that affect both of us… I might lose everything before our future has a chance to even begin.

My own stubborn sense of doing the right thing and my need to protect Bella from damnation are destined to destroy us both. I know this now. I think about Bella's words when she reminded me that she could succumb to an accident. I dismissed her remarks like an arrogant ass. She is right. I cannot know that she would not meet with an accident, or disease…I am not God. I cannot protect her every minute of her life…she is entitled to have the freedom to go where she pleases…I do not want to suffocate her with my need to keep her safe from harm. And realistically, she is right…it would not bode well in society for me to stay forever young as the rest of the world watches her age. I think then about Bella's family and I am struck by yet another thought: Bella's grandparents are all deceased, and given the relatively young ages of Charlie and Renee, they must have died fairly young. I realize that I have never given much thought to her personal family history; perhaps her family genetics are plagued with cancer and heart disease. Would I want to wait for my sweetheart to be stricken with disease at a young age? The answer to this is a resounding no.

I want to share my thoughts with Bella, and I pray that I am not too late. Although I will never be happy to end her life prematurely, I do not want to live in a world where she no longer exists. If it is still her wish to change so that she can be eternally young and with me forever, then she and I must both be willing to compromise. Perhaps she would be willing to wait a year or two after we are wed. At least then she will have an opportunity to change her mind if she so desires.

And finally, I need to tell her what I have believed in my heart from the first day I laid eyes on her in the cafeteria last January….that I knew then that she was my destiny…my forever. She needs to know that I believe in my heart that she was waiting for me…that the reason I never fell in love with anyone before her was because she hadn't been born yet. That the sole reason I was transformed in 1918 was nature's way of correcting itself…so I could wait for her…

Giddy with relief, and filled with a new sense of purpose, I get up off the couch and wander over to the window and peer out. I do not see her, so I assume she is strolling on the grounds on the far side of our property. I look over to my dresser and I see her cell phone sitting there. Silly, careless girl. I smile…she is MY silly girl…

I scoop up her phone and shove it in my pocket, grinning like a fool. I am in love, and I am happy. And I need to let her know, right the fuck NOW, that she's the reason why. I can't wait another minute for our future to begin.

As I prepare to leave, I hear a voice in my mind. I frown trying to locate the source, but it is alien to me. Suddenly, I am almost paralyzed with fear. It is a voice I have never heard before in my psyche, yet it is both heartbreaking and achingly familiar. My head fills with an image so sharp and so painful that I am nearly brought to my knees. But it is not the image that fills me with dread, it is the words that fill my mind; they are as clear as if she were standing next to my ear. I have heard these same words many times before…but these are different…

They are uttered as a final goodbye…

"Edward, _I love you"_

BPOV

I leave Edward and begin walking towards the river, this time avoiding the bridge that we had crossed only a few hours earlier. Instead I decide to follow a path that takes me deeper into the woods on the Cullens' massive estate. Although I have been on this path before, I was always with Edward, usually perched atop his back, my head resting between his long neck and his broad shoulders. I liked to kiss him on his neck while he was running. I know he likes it; sometimes I make him purr. I push back the big lump that has formed in my throat. Gah! Why am I getting all sad and misty eyes now when I want to stay pissed at him? Oooh…that stubborn ass! Why, WHY can't I just stay mad?

_Because you love him… _

Yeah…that damn voice in my head is now speaking to me as if I were a separate entity from my subconscious self.

_Because he loves you…_

I put my fingers in my ears like a five year old child, and desperately attempt to block the thoughts out. But they continue on, unbidden and unrelenting.

_Because you need him…_

_Because he needs you…_

_Because you belong together…_

_Because there will never be another…_

And that's when the tears start. At first they film my eyes and blur my vision, but soon they are rolling down my cheeks and my chin. Honestly, I have cried more tears in this past week than I think I have shed in my entire life. I am not usually a cry baby, far from it. I scrub at my eyes angrily, trying desperately to maintain my self-righteous anger. He is such a stubborn ass!

_But he's your stubborn ass…_

I start walking further down the path, with thoughts of Edward swimming in my mind. I think about the last few days…his sad face full of apologies when he showed up in my room telling me how much he needed me. I think of his beautiful words, when he made love to me for the first time…the sounds he made…how he told me repeatedly how much he loved me. I remember his reassurance later, after I had broken down in guilty tears, when he told me over and over again that he would never leave me. I remember how tender he was when he changed my dressing…how he kissed my wound, making it all better. I remember how quickly the tenderness was replaced with red hot passion when he took me roughly and fucked me senseless…

And I remember too, his heartbreaking words, his tortured confession, when he told me about his sister…how he turned to me and cried in my arms. And I remember the softness of his flesh, the flash of those green, green eyes…and the taste of his tears against my lips. _Oh Teddy…._

I am crying in earnest now, my tears blinding me. Overcome with grief and remorse I fling myself down on the soft earth and give into my sorrow. My last image of Edward…of his impossibly beautiful face…fills my mind. I think about his expression when I announced I was leaving…how his face looked as I marched out the door. He looked so hurt…

I hurt him…I hurt my Edward…

I'm a fucking bitch. This poor man had just shared with me his long buried story… about his sister…his past…his memories… _and I hurt him…_

I think about everything he said…how he told me I was his best friend, his beloved, his mate, his LIFE. And then…when he let all of his defenses down, and possibly for the first time in all of his existence, had revealed his truest feelings and spoken from his heart, I reacted badly and selfishly.

_Marry me, Bella._

Hadn't I prayed and longed to hear those words? Yes I had…repeatedly. And what did I do…how had I responded? I sit up and look down at my hands in shame, remembering my reaction.

Instead of wrapping my arms around him and hugging him close and telling him YES…I'd shoved him away, and demanded that he change me. Instead of being patient and giving him time to process all that was said…I gave him an ultimatum. And even though I do need to have his assurance that he plans to keep me forever, I also know in my hear that, regardless of his inability to give me a definite time frame today…if I give him time…he will get there eventually.

I turned my back on Edward…when he needed me most…when he was his most vulnerable…_I walked out on him_. I did the very thing that I made him promise to never do. I shut him down and walked out the door. I was _mean_ to him… My face burns with disgrace.

Oh Edward…I'm sooo sorry…

I know now what I have to do. I have to go back to the house and talk to him. I need to tell him that I am sorry for being a bitch and walking out on him when he begged me to stay. I need to reassure him that I love him. And I need to tell him that I understand his fears about my soul. I need to acknowledge his reluctance to transform me, and I need to assure him that he can have the time he needs to get there, and that I trust him to tell me when he does. And finally, even more importantly, I need to tell him YES…that I _will_ marry him. Because in spite of everything that's wrong with our lives…he and I are the one thing that's right. I need to tell him what I have believed in my heart from the first day I laid eyes on him in the cafeteria on that rainy wet day in January….that I knew then that he was my destiny…my forever. He needs to know that I believe in my heart that he was waiting for me…that the reason he never fell in love with anyone before me was because I hadn't been born yet. That I was made for him…

Swiping my sleeve across my nose, I stand up and start walking down the path towards the house. But I'm confused now…do I go left or right? Shit! I am so disoriented…reluctantly, I reach for my cell phone, but it's not there. Crap! I must have left it on the dresser when I grabbed my jacket.

Groaning at my stupidity, I look up at the sky and try to remember the expression about the moss growing on the side of the tree…but my head is pounding and I swear I can't even remember how the sun rises in the east…

Shit! What am I going to do now?

_Edward will come for you…_my inner voice reassures me gently.

Just then I am snapped out of my reverie. I hear a loud crack on the path behind me and sigh in relief… _Edward…_ I turn to run towards him with outstretched arms, but I stop abruptly when I see that it isn't my Edward at all.

I freeze in my tracks…as I take in the presence before me. I know this face all too well…I'd seen him in the spring…he was with Victoria and James…I struggle trying to put a name to his face. It was something French…Laurent… yes, that's his name.

"Laurent"

"Bellahhhh," he says as he walks slowly and gracefully towards me. He raises his arm as he draws nearer and the hair on my neck rises as well. This is the strike of death…the classic vampire pose. My breath catches in my throat and I stand, frozen like a statue. My eyes fill with tears as I realize that I am about to meet my fate. I close my eyes and prepare to die. I'm so sorry, Edward…

My last thought forms in my mind, but nothing…_nothing_…comes out of my mouth…I am too paralyzed with fear. I feel a tremendous pressure behind my eyes and for a split second, I am almost blinded by a flash of white light. It's as if a shade snapped up on a long closed window.

_Edward, I love you… _

**A/N: Aw crap! It wouldn't be New Moon if Laurent's ass didn't turn up, right?**

**Reviewers get one free handyman repair job from Edward…in a tool belt. And remember…he doesn't wear underpants.**


	17. Chapter 17: An Understanding

This chapter is Beta'd and dedicated to coleen561

_**Victorian?**_ Huh! This ones for you, girl

Chapter 17

An Understanding

EPOV

_Edward, I love you…_

Bella's words wash over me, and I think, no… _I know_, that she is in some type of danger. My heart nearly jump starts in my anguish.

"_Oh dear God…please don't let me lose her_…" I pray out loud.

I am not a psychic, but I am a mind reader. Which is why I find myself suddenly begin to calm down as I dash out of the house and run towards her scent. I was correct in my assumption that she is somewhere on the path that is on the far side of our grounds, and she is not alone. But thankfully, she is NOT in danger.

As soon as I bolt out of the house, I hear him. Laurent… he was the third companion who had been with Victoria and James back in March. I remember his thoughts vividly that day; he was sad and confused. I wasn't able to focus on him much though at the time, considering the urgency to take Bella as quickly as I could away from James which was paramount to her safety. But when Bella and I had returned to my house, he was there. He'd come to warn us about James and Victoria. I recall that I was full of distrust when he met us as we entered the door to my home. Yet even as I pulled back to strike him, Carlisle had stopped me, saying that he was only there to warn us, he was not there to do any of us harm.

But now as I run towards them, I hear his thoughts…_his happiness_. He is _not_ here to harm Bella; he is here to share his story and his news. In his mind, I see Bella's beautiful face, frozen in fear.

_I'm coming, sweetheart_… I plead silently. _Just hold on…_

I arrive just in time to see Laurent catch her in his cold arms. He turns abruptly as he hears me approach.

"Edward," he says to me then, his eyes are pleading for understanding and…forgiveness. I walk over to him quickly and he allows me to take Bella from his arms, and I do, gathering her close to my heart.

"Bella, Love…it's me, sweetheart. Bella…" I kiss her face, my voice trembling. Laurent steps forward, and I still him with my hand.

"Edward, perhaps we should take her to your house," he says in a faltering voice. I tell him no, that she is coming around. I sit on the ground and rock her gently till she opens her eyes.

"Am I dead?" she asks in a disbelieving voice. Her eyes seek mine for answers. I chuckle in relief, and surprisingly Laurent joins in. Bella shrinks back as she realizes that his presence is still near. I shush her quietly and stroke her hair in an effort to sooth her. She is quaking and trembling in my arms.

"No, sweetheart, you're definitely NOT dead…you're not even un-dead," I laugh in relief. She presses her face into my neck and murmurs, "Edward…I'm so sorry…" I put my mouth to her ear and whisper back, "shush, love…I know. I'm sorry too. We'll talk later, okay?" She nods her head against my neck, kissing me softly. I return her kiss by placing my mouth gently on her temple. She sighs and sits up, first looking at Laurent and then me. Her face is puzzled and her eyes are full of questions. I start to explain what I know to her, but Laurent interrupts before I can get my words to form.

"Bella," he says his face soft and full of apology. "I am so sorry to have frightened you just now. I was merely raising my hand in greeting. I had no intention of scaring you or harming you, _ma petite_." His voice is beseeching and his gaze steady. It is his gaze that causes Bella to inhale sharply as she rises to her feet. I rise too; leaning slightly so that my arms are wrapped tightly around her waist and my face is close to hers.

"Laurent, your _eyes_!" she gasps, astonished. It is true; Laurent's eyes have changed considerably since we last saw him. Back then they were a deep crimson, a clear indicator of his preferred diet of human blood. But now they are a rich golden brown, similar to those in my own family.

"Yes, Bella…my eyes have changed, _I have changed_…" his voice trails off.

"But, but…why? How?" Bella asks in disbelief. She turns to me for answers, but I shake my head no; it is Laurent's story to tell, not mine.

"Please, Bella…sit. Let me tell you my story." She turns to me with a raised brow, and I nod my head in agreement and in reassurance. We walk over to a small clearing and I remove my sweatshirt and lay it on the ground telling her to sit. She does, and I join her on the soft earth. Laurent removes his jacket and does the same, sitting across from us both. His movements are both careful and graceful, and I look at him and smile gently in appreciation. He does not want to alarm my sweet girl, and for that I am thankful. I position myself in back of Bella and wrap my arms around her protectively. She snuggles briefly against my chest and then sits up straight, waiting for Laurent to continue. He does.

"Bella, I came here today because I wanted to warn you about Victoria."

Bella gasps loudly, "Laurent…Victoria was here….but…Emmett… took… care of her…." she falters, struggling desperately to find the words. Laurent stills her with his hand.

"Yes, I know what happened. At least, I was able to piece it together. I trailed her scent to the woods near your home. I found this buried in her ashes." He holds out his hand and we see an ornately carved ring that is blackened and tarnished. It was Victoria's ring, I remember seeing it on her finger when she met us on the ball field. It is an ugly, gothic piece of jewelry, all carved snakes and embossed with ram heads. It is hideous, just like her.

"You say you came to warn us?" Bella asks.

"Yes. I knew she would never rest as long as you were alive. I'm afraid she took the death of James very badly, and was determined to seek revenge. She called me last week and told me of her plans, and I begged her to leave you both in peace, but she refused to listen. I would have gotten her earlier, but I was out of town…on my _lune de miel_…er, that is to say…my honeymoon," he clarifies.

"Your HONEYMOON!" she gasps. "I…I didn't realize… I mean…Edward said you were a nomad…that you were alone…" her voice falters off.

"Yes," he sighs. "That is true. I was a nomad, a bachelor if you will, for many years; centuries, really. But all that has changed since our last meeting. _You_ changed me, Bella. You and Edward…you opened my eyes and my long dead heart."

"How?" she chokes out. "We barely even spoke to you…"

"True…but after you and Edward left to pursue James, I stayed a few days and spoke at length to Carlisle. He made me see things in a different way. We talked at length and he shared his thoughts and his philosophies with me. He gave me pause, and made me think. He gave me…hope."

Huh…Carlisle had never shared any of that with me, and even his thoughts never betrayed this knowledge. As if sensing my puzzlement, Laurent offers an explanation.

"Edward, I asked Carlisle not to say anything about my visit. At the time I was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that there could be another way…" his voice drifts off, his eyes seeking understanding. I nod my head curtly and ask him to continue.

"Bella, I meant it when I said that meeting you and Edward was life altering for me. I know that doesn't make sense, given our brief encounter, but perhaps if you will allow me to tell you a bit about myself, you will have a greater understanding of my statement."

"Okaaay…" Bella says looking at him warily. "Lay it on us." Laurent chuckles at her choice of words. I smile into her hair, already knowing what he is about to say.

"Bella, when I met you and Edward last spring I was as jaded and sad as a man could possibly be. I lived alone for many years, traveling around the world, looking for answers and finding none. My existence was lonely and bleak. Then I met up with James and Victoria and all that changed. I thought my journey had finally come to an end. Not so much with James, perhaps…but with…_HER._" He looks at us both sadly.

"With _her?_ You mean…Victoria? But… why…?" Bella asks, clearly surprised.

Laurent gives Bella a penetrating look, begging for understanding. I can actually see the moment her light bulb flickers. Laurent nods his head in confirmation.

"Oh, Laurent…do you mean…you were in lo…" she attempts to ask, confusion in her voice.

"Yes," his voice swallows her words. "I was in love with Victoria….I had _been _in love with Victoria for over _40 years."_

"_Forty_ _years_? I was under the impression that you'd only recently met them…besides you said you were a nomad," Bella asks doubtfully.

"True, I was a nomad. But I was not immune to love. You see, I knew Victoria many years ago and I fell deeply in love with her, while she was still a… _human._" At this Bella sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. I squeeze her arms lightly, knowing that Laurent's story is going to be enthralling.

It is.

Laurent gives a deep sigh and stares into space momentarily. Then he returns his gaze to both of us and begins.

"I met Victoria in 1964. She was nineteen years old and was a student at the _École des Beaux-Arts_ in Paris. I was traveling through Paris, on my way back home to Champagne, where I had spent my youth as a human boy. I rarely traveled to France in those days; it was too painful for me…so many sad memories. I was born there in 1747. I was from a noble family and was, unfortunately, heavily involved in the Revolution."

"The Revolution! You mean like _Marie Antoinette? _THAT Revolution?"

"Yes, but that _mon cher_, is another story. One that I am willing share with you both someday if you are so inclined. But for now, I would like to share my own love story, if I may. It is a good one, I promise. It has all the right elements of an epic love story… lonely brooding vampire….and a lovely, innocent American girl living abroad…." He chuckles darkly. "Unfortunately it does NOT have the happily ever after your sweet young heart desires. But it is a true story, nonetheless, and it is an honest, if tragic tale.

"If I may…?" he asks, seeking permission to continue.

"Please, by all means continue," she says. I can tell by her comment and her body language that she is completely captivated. I look at Laurent and nod my head in agreement. He takes a deep breath and looks at his hands; his face is full of ancient grief. He gives us a small smile and continues.

"I had returned to France in the spring of 1964. The Second World War had been over for nearly twenty years, and I was eager to see Paris again. I wanted to visit the Eifel Tower, and see all the changes that had taken place. I enjoyed sketching, and had set up an easel on the banks of the Seine River. Paris had an exceptionally rainy spring that year, so I was able to keep my identity a secret. That's when I first met Victoria, She too was an artist, and had set up her easel next to mine. On the day that we first met, I was literally overcome by her beauty…and _her scent."_ He looks at us both for understanding. "She was my…_singer_…"

"_Your singer_? What does that mean exactly?" Bella asks hesitantly.

"He means that her blood sang out to him…just as yours does to me, Love." I kiss her hair lightly.

"Oh, Laurent! Did you…did you _change _her?" she asks gently.

"Change her? No…" he sighs, almost regretfully. "I did not. I…could not. She was so vibrant, so young, and so alive," he sighs again. Bella lifts her brow dubiously. This does not fit the description of the hard and bitter woman she met last spring.

"Yes, I know…that probably doesn't sound much like the Victoria you met. Frankly, she was nothing at all like the vampire she later became. She was lovely…all smiles, with a flawless complexion and the most luxurious head of red hair. When I knew her as a human, she was full of life and had her whole future ahead of her. She came from Philadelphia and was from a very old and wealthy family. She was a bit of a rebel, a bohemian if you will," he smiles wistfully. "She had left America and came to Paris to study art, much to her family's dismay. When I met her, my first thought was to drain her. Her scent…it was so _potent_…so _intoxicating_… But when she looked at me with her deep blue eyes, I knew then that I couldn't hurt her. I fell in love with her…"

"That quickly?" she asks doubtfully. I turn her face gently towards mine and tell her that it was much the same for me. She responds by kissing me softly on my cheek.

"Yes, Bella…it was that quick. I don't know if you realize just how quickly a vampire succumbs to love when he has finally met his mate. It happens within a beat of the heart, and it is complete."

"I…I didn't realize that it happened that fast," she says ashamed of her ignorance. I whisper in her ear that this is normal behavior for vampires and that seems to appease her, and she lets out a small chuckle.

"Oh…excuse my ignorance…a _vampire thing_, huh?" she teases. Laurent throws back his head and laughs, his eyes full of mirth.

"Indeed. Well put, Bella. In any event, I fell madly in love with this human girl, despite my massive attempts to prevent it from happening. But…as you well know…it was beyond my power. Instead, I got to know Victoria…we met every day on the river bank for weeks. I couldn't bear to be away from her… I talked to her, laughed with her, loved her…"

"And did she feel the same way?" asks Bella.

"Yes, she did. We spent all our time together, both our days and…our nights. She didn't know I was a vampire, though she suspected that something was not…how shall I put it…_quite right_. She knew my skin was cold to the touch, but she dismissed it, as human are wont to do when they encounter things of the supernatural. Then one night in her garret, we were lying in her bed and she had her head nestled against my chest. She sat up suddenly and gasped…she couldn't hear my heart. That's when I told her…"

"And did she believe you?" Bella asks.

"No, not at first. But after I showed her my strength by lifting up her bed single handedly, she began to overcome her doubts," he laughs lightly.

"Huh, yeah…I guess that left no doubt that something was up," she says playfully.

"Indeed. But it took more than that one effort to convince her, I assure you. She was such a strong willed and stubborn little thing. And then after she was convinced, I was even sorrier…she was determined to have me change her so that we could be together for all of eternity. Unfortunately, I could not bear to consider doing such a thing."

"Oh God, not you too? Let me guess…the soulless monster syndrome?" she deduces. By the look on Laurent's face, it appears her suspicion is confirmed.

"Yes, we fought bitterly over it…so much so that her landlord threatened to have her evicted. But she wouldn't let up. One night we had a terrible fight over it. She threw things at me, and I snarled at her…it was childish, really. She told me to 'get out' and that she never wanted to see me again. I was so angry with her! I left her garret and went back to my own, determined to give her some space, and to have some time for myself to think. I stayed away for a few days…but I missed her so much. I couldn't stand the loneliness. I knew then that she was right…I would have to change her, for I could not live without her. I went to her garret, prepared to tell her about my change of heart, but she was gone….everything…her art, her clothes…all gone."

"Oh, Laurent, I am so sorry… I know how hard that must have been for you," she cries out sympathetically. "What did you do?"

Laurent sighs deeply and takes a long moment before he responds. "At first I searched all over Paris thinking that she was still there…I couldn't bear to think that she would truly leave me without at least saying goodbye. But alas…my search for her was in vain. I was so lonely and despondent," he sighs again.

"I decided to go to Volterra…I had heard that there was a man in Aro's court who was an outstanding tracker."

Bella gasps, "James!"

Laurent nods his head in agreement. "Indeed. I met with him and told him about my situation. He acted very sympathetically and promised he would help me find her. I paid him an exorbitant amount of money, and he promised me he would stay in constant contact with me. Unfortunately…I soon discovered that he was not to be trusted. He took my money and my trust. I never saw or heard from him again. I was overcome with grief and sorrow. After that, I decided that I would never allow myself to become close to anyone; vampire or human again."

"So how did you two meet again, and why was she with James? And more importantly…how did she become a vampire?" Bella asks curiously.

"I went to Italy last year. It had been many years since I had visited the Volturi family, and I was anxious to spend some time with my own kind. It was there that I saw her again. At first I thought that I was mistaken…that she was some sort of mirage…but no…it was _her_. I was absolutely shocked, to say the least. And then later…when I realized what she had become I was…devastated," he says heatedly.

Bella reaches her hand out to him and he takes it into his own and squeezes it gently. She nods encouragingly for him to continue.

"So…James must have found her, and then he changed her?" she asks quietly.

"Yes…from what I have been able to piece together, Victoria was on her way back to her family in Philadelphia when James found her. I do not know any of the specifics…I only know how I felt upon seeing her again. For me, it was as if she had never left. I still loved her passionately.

"But…seeing her again…with HIM…that lying, conniving, vile creature…Ah! It was so painful! I couldn't believe that I found my true love at last, only to discover that this despicable beast changed her so she could become HIS mate." Laurent sighs deeply at this admission.

"She had no human memories of me at all, none whatsoever," he says to us both, sadly.

"Oh, Laurent, I am so sorry," Bella says, her eyes filling with tears.

"Don't be sad for me, _ma petite_. She and I both made a grave mistake, and that was the price we had to pay. Still it was pure torture for me seeing her again, because I was still so in love with her. I never stopped loving her, even though I could plainly see that she did not return my love, and that under James's influence, she had become greatly altered. She was no longer the sweet and lovely girl I once knew. She was hard, cold, and unfeeling. She was totally under his spell…it was…painful… tragic." Laurent's face shows his sadness and his grief.

"After I heard about what James did to you and of his demise, I had hopes that she and I would re-kindle our old flame. But she scorned my advances, even after I told her who I was…what we had once meant to each other. She only laughed at me and called me pathetic.

"I realized then that I no longer wished to be a part of her life. She was so vengeful, so full of hatred. She was consumed with thoughts of killing you…torturing you. I remembered how much the two of you loved each other…I couldn't bear the thought that she would commit such a heinous act.

"I struggled for many weeks after this. But then I recalled what Carlisle had told me, and decided that I needed to make some significant changes in my miserable life. If I was to live my life alone, then I at least wanted to make it full of _jous de vrie_. I had had enough sadness in my unnaturally long and weary existence," he sighs.

At this Bella begins to cry openly, I know the reason why…this tragedy was an echo of what our own fate might have been, if I had left her. I hug her close to me and try to comfort her, by rocking her soothingly against my chest.

"Bella…I didn't tell you my sad little story to make you sad. That was not my intent, I assure you. I came here today to warn you first about Victoria's devious plan to kill you and Edward. But I also wanted to share my wonderful epilogue with you, for I did get my happily ever after. You see, _mon cher_, after I left Forks last spring, I went to Alaska, where I met Irina…"

"Irina? Who is she?" Bella asks.

"She's one of the Denali sisters," I murmur into her hair. "She is Tanya's older sister," I remind her guardedly; Tanya is not one of Bella's favorite people. Rosalie had indicated to her that Tanya had once shown an interest in me and Bella had responded with jealousy and accusations. I sigh…THAT had been quite a scene…

"Oh," Bella says acidly. "_Tanya's_ sister. Hmmm…too bad you couldn't have fallen in love with _her_."

"No, I'm afraid I was quite smitten with Irina…she is everything to me…she is my life now. We were married just last month." With that he smiles broadly, rises and turns to us, as we both stand up to face him.

"Well, _mes amis_, I must be off. I know I should feel sorrow and perhaps anger that Victoria has come to an end, but I simply cannot bring myself to do so. She was not the girl I knew and loved, and I fear that if she was allowed to exist, she would have been unscrupulous in her revenge. I will leave you now, but hope that our paths will meet again in the near future. Perhaps Edward will bring you to Alaska next summer. I would love to have you meet my beautiful bride." He pauses in front of Bella and reaches for her hand, she gives it to him willingly and he kisses it lightly. He turns to me and locks his caramel eyes upon me, then places his hands on my shoulders.

"Edward, remember my little story, will you? Bella is far too lovely to suffer a similar fate. I saw how deeply in love you were with each other last spring, which is another reason, why I felt it was my duty to tell you my own account. Do not make the same mistake as me, Edward." He gives me a pointed look and leans towards me, giving me a kiss on either side of my face (Frenchman that he is), and bids us goodbye. He is gone in a flash of wind and dust.

Bella and I stand there for a moment saying nothing. Then we turn slowly to each other. We look into each other's eyes, our chests heaving. Her eyes are full of tears, and my own would be too if I were capable of such a physical reaction. The emotional tension is thick in the air…I can feel it crackling all around us. And there is so much we need to say…so much that we must discuss, but before either of us can say a thing, we stumble into each other's arms, kissing each other wildly. I hear a loud crash of thunder, and the rain pours down violently, drenching us to the skin. Yet we don't stop kissing each other, we _can't_ stop.

"Oh Edward, Edward, Edward," she cries…as she kisses me over and over. And in return, I murmur her name too…kissing her everywhere…her hair, her face, her neck, her collar bones. I can't seem to stop, and neither can she. We are moaning, and sighing, and breathing all at once. And it isn't passion, though there is certainly that, and it isn't sweet love, though there is certainly that too. This…THIS is desperation. Yes, we are _desperate_ for each other. And yes, I know that there is so much to say, so much that needs to be said…But we can't stop the desperation, the frantic and tortured kisses…

"Oh, Bella, I love you so much," I finally manage to choke out. "Oh God, I love you… I love you. I love you… I need you…need you so badly…" I can't bear it any longer; I scoop her up into my arms and begin to run…there is a small cottage not too far off the path. I take off running with her in my arms, and she is still kissing me over and over, telling me how much she loves me. I find the cottage and kick the door in. I try to set her down, but her hands are everywhere…pulling at my hair and clawing my back. I look to my left and see the small adjoining room that houses much of my furniture from my human life, including my boyhood bed. Her lips capture mine, and I fall to my knees and lower her to floor. I realize then that we aren't going to make it that far…

BPOV

Edward's lips are on mine and he is kissing and talking…no… _murmuring,_ all at the same time. It's all _(kiss)_ "love you" _(kiss)_ "need you…need you so much" _(kiss)_ "want you" _(kiss)_ "I'm so sorry…" _(kiss)_

And while all his loving words, kisses, and touches are happening, I am responding in kind with _(pant)_ "love you too" _(sigh)_ "need you…" _(whimper)_ "Forgive me… mmm… need you NOW…" _(moan)_ "…so much" _(groan)_ "Mmmm….yes…right _there_…ungh…oh, God…take it off….RIGHT NOW!"

And our clothes are off and piled on the floor, and the touches are everywhere…on top of me…under me…inside me…

And it's not gentle, yet he is not rough…never that. He is desperate, and needy, and wanting. And I am hot, wet, and soaking, as his hips thrust wildly against mine. His hands are everywhere all at once…in my hair, on my breasts, clutching my bottom, and wrapping my thighs around his waist. And he is in me so deep and I can feel him…feel his thickness…his cool, hard thrusts.

I find myself stuttering dirty girl words, like some kind of porn queen. It's all "Oh God, yes! Oooh…you feel so good…Ummm…Oh…God you're so thick …so big…I love your big cock…"

Yeah, uh…that's right…I actually said _cock_. BIG cock… Rosalie would be so very proud.

"Mmmm, Bella…oh, God… YES…Mmmm…so tight…so wet…so hot…that's it…ungh…is that the spot? Oh …God…I feel you…does it feel good? Are you coming? Ooh…I'm not going to last…mmm….going to come…oh…so hard…"

Yeah…he said "_come_" I didn't even know he knew that word…I figured he only uttered words like climax and release. Huh! _Emmett_ would be proud!

"Oh fuuuuck…." Guess which one of us said that? Humph…no, it WASN'T me!

And then, yes…I am coming…And yes…oh, God…it does…it does feel…oh…so GOOD! And I want to close my eyes so I can savor the moment, but I want to watch him…see him…when he finds his own release. I keep my eyes open; his golden eyes are locked steadily on mine. In a smooth move he scoops his arms under my shoulders and pulls me up, my legs straddling his waist. He is now on his knees and is thrusting hard…so deep…and he is moaning and panting and circling his hips. "Mmm, Bella…let go…I want to see you come…so hard…mmm…yes…oh, that's it…is it good, sweetheart?" And yeah…now I'm coming again…

Edward throws his head back and lets out a roar…it is raw, deep, and primal. And shit…so fucking SEXY, that yeah…big ole whore that I am…I come, AGAIN. We fall back on the floor, a tangle of cold limbs, and hot breath.

He straightens his legs out and lies back on the hard floor, pulling me to his chest. I snuggle my head against him and bury my face in the nook of his arm. We stay like this for many moments, saying nothing, breathing each other in. I have never felt so safe or so loved. Finally he lifts my face gently and kisses me softly. It is the sweetest kiss we have ever shared.

"Bella," he says…

"Edward," I say…

"I'll change you…"

"I'll marry you…."

"After graduation…"

Yeah…it's just like that…we speak at the same time…our words melting into one big moment of happiness and understanding.

"You will?" he asks, with a smile so big and so brilliant, that I swear it fills the room with light. And just like that, the cloud that dominated the sky and our spirits lifts, and the room IS filled with light…the sun reaches out to us and I am overcome by the effervescence; his skin…he is sparkling and dazzling me all at the same time.

"Yes," I respond joyously. "Wait…you WILL?" I ask, thinking I must have misunderstood.

"Yes," he says back to me. "Yes…"

And then it's yes, yes, yes, and kiss, kiss, kiss. And he stands us up and is twirling me in his arms, and is making happy, boyish sounds. And yeah…I admit it…I am tearing up, just a bit…because I've never seen him like this before. And I realize that this is both my Edward and my Teddy…merging together. And I let out a little laugh and a few happy sounds of my own. He stops twirling me and nuzzles his face in my shoulder and breathes softly against my neck.

"You said yes…"

"So did you," I breathe back. And he kisses me again…and again.

"Are you cold?" he murmurs into my hair.

But before I have a chance to respond he lifts me up and carries me into the small bedroom. He lies us down on the bed and grabs the heavy quilt that is folded at the foot of the bed and wraps me in it, snuggling next to me. We lay side by side facing each other, staring softly into each other's eyes. He tickles my nose lightly with his, and we smile.

"I love you, Bella," he says tenderly.

"So much," I say in return.

I look up at the ceiling and then my eyes dart around the room.

"Edward, what is this place?" I ask curiously.

"It's the old caretaker's cottage," he informs me. "We just use it mainly for storage. This was all my old furniture," he shrugs.

"Oh, Edward, this was your bed when you were a little boy?"

He nods his head and smirks. "Yes, _and_ when I was a teenager," he winks.

Huh! I wonder if he used to have dirty boy fantasies in this bed.

"Edward, did you ever…you know…_touch_ yourself in this bed?" I ask.

He looks at me astounded, and I blush deeply. He runs a finger over my cheek, "I'm really going to miss this," he says, teasingly. "And to answer your question, yes…I assume I did. I actually don't remember. But one would suppose that I did, I was a seventeen year old boy after all. I do remember having some erotic photographs that I used to keep hidden beneath the mattress and the box spring. I think I still have some of them."

He jumps out of bed and kneels in front of a nearby chest of drawers. Opening the bottom drawer, he reaches way back behind the drawer and retrieves an old yellowed envelope. He climbs back in bed, opens it up, and pulls out the pictures, handing them to me. I gasp…they are so deliciously _naughty!_

The first one shows a woman sitting in a swing. She is wearing some sort of corset, but the bodice of it is pulled down, revealing her breasts, and her naked legs are spread wide apart. A man with a head full of dark curls is kneeling between her thighs, his face buried in her crotch. His hands are gripping her waist and there is a frothy garter lying next to his foot. Her head is thrown back; her mouth forms a perfect O.

"Edward! These are so…" I can't even find the words. This is a side of Edward Cullen, er…Teddy Masen, that I never knew existed, that's for sure! Blushing again, I look at the next picture. It is the same couple, except this time it is she who is on her knees, her mouth on his tally whacker (oh, okaaay…his _cock_). His trousers are pooling around his knees, his hands buried into her dark hair. His dark curly head is thrown back, and though I can't see his face completely, what I am able to see is an expression of utter bliss.

"Whew," I gasp. "I never realized that Victorians were _so vulgar_…these pictures are like porn, or something. Wow, just…wow! I thought Victorians were supposed to be so prudish…but you were a porno perv!"

"I was _not_ a porno perv," he admonishes me, laughing.

I start to giggle and he joins in, tickling my side. I laugh harder and actually snort. This causes him to roar with laughter. We can't seem to stop. ..He laughs; I snort. This starts him up again. Finally I stop, though I am still chuckling a bit.

"Bella…I am NOT a Victorian," he informs me with a superior look on his face.

"You're not?" I ask. "Then what the hell are you?" I inquire teasingly. "Besides being a sexy, hot vampire, that is."

"You think I'm a sexy, hot vampire?" he says wagging his eyebrows, This makes me giggle and I lean up and give him a little kiss on the tip of his cold nose. Talk about an Eskimo kiss!

"Oh, yeah…very sexy…and very HAWT!" I say…stoking his ego.

"Hmmm! Sexy…I like that," he says, rubbing his nose over mine. He gives me a kiss and we settle back down on the bed sighing.

"You didn't answer my question," I say. "Why aren't you a Victorian?"

"Because, my dear…_I_ am an _Edwardian_," he says smugly.

"Well pardon me for living, Edward, but the graveyards full. I didn't realize that you were so important that you had an entire era named after you," I tease.

He chuckles and pulls me close to his face and murmurs in my ear, "God, I love you…"

I whisper back that I love him too, even if he is a big ole pervert. He laughs again, and I join in. In all the time I have spent with Edward Cullen, we have never laughed so hard, or so much.

"How do you feel right now?" I ask him.

"Blissful," he says. "Happy. Content. How about you, sweetheart? How are you feeling? I didn't hurt you earlier, did I?" he asks suddenly concerned. "I know I was a bit rough with you…" he trails off uncertainly.

"First off…NO you didn't hurt me, baby. Not at all. And secondly, to answer your other question, I feel the same as you. Blissful. Happy. Content." I sigh once more.

"Hey, Edward?" I start to ask.

"Hey, Bella," he responds playfully. "What is it, Love?"

"Umm, those pictures…the one with the woman with her mouth on his umm…appendage…" I am really blushing like a lobster now. He nudges me a little with his shoulder, and sits up.

"You said _cock,_ earlier. I heard you…" he sings out in a silly voice. I blush furiously and give him a little punch on his shoulder. He laughs.

"Well, you said 'come'…" I remind him.

"I most certainly did NOT," he says indignantly, giving me a wink.

"Yes you did, I heard you. AND you said fuck," I sing back to him mischievously. He laughs and lifts his brow. Then he closes his eyes and drops back on the bed in a mock faint.

"Okay…I cave," he says in a resigned voice. He opens his eyes and smirks. "But saying 'cock' is still dirtier than saying 'come'…" he sings out to me once more. We both giggle.

I LIKE this kind of pillow talk! He is so playful and lighthearted. God, I love this boy!

"What was it you were going to ask me anyway?" he asks encouragingly.

"Um… that picture of the woman kneeling in front of the man…is that something you would ever like me to try on you?" I manage to blurt out. He looks at me stunned…and…hopeful? I look down at him and then I see it…Yup…Mr. Masen has arrived for his visit…and from the look of things, he is VERY happy to see me.

"Why, Helloooo Mr. Masen," I say playfully, crawling down and taking him into my hand. I hear Edward let out a little whimper, and he settles his head down on the pillow. I scoot over to his side and put my mouth near his thigh, still holding his cock in my hand. "Are you happy to see me?" I ask seriously. I hear Edward grunt in response. "Hmmm…I'll take that as a yes. Mr. Masen…Would it be very…forward…of me to give you a hello kiss?" I hear Edward groaning, and watch in fascination as he lets out a small hiss that turns into a growl as I kiss the tip of his cock and run my tongue over the slit. Edward's hands grip the sides of the bedding and I hear him moan, loudly. "Mmmm…Bella…" This encourages me to go further with my ministrations, and I start to lick his shaft, swirling my tongue over his tip.

_Ripppp_! And there goes the mattress. "Oh my fucking…Christ…" he yells. This is all the encouragement I need… I take his shaft, hold it tightly in my hand, and begin to suck on it…hard. My other hand is on his scrotum and I squeeze it lightly. "Mmm…harder," I hear him gasp.

Huh…he wants it harder? Okay Vamp-Man…I'll give you harder! I grasp his balls firmly and play with them, squeezing and rolling them in my hand, all the while continuing to lick and suck his cock. I hear him moaning, groaning, and hissing like a madman…God…I've NEVER seen him so out of control…this is fucking HOT! I do wonder briefly if he might suddenly snap and bite me, but what the hell? I'm willing to take a chance. Besides…NO way would I ever want to miss out on this! I look at him with wide eyes, and he sits up gasping, "Bella…I'm going to come!" He places his hand on my shoulder to stop me, but I shake my head no, and continue to suck him harder and taking him deeper into my mouth. He drops back on the bed and his back arches, hips rise, and I gag just a little as his fluid fills my mouth in long, cool spurts. "Unghhhh…" he pants, his chest heaving. I swallow his jizz proudly. Yeah…it still tastes like soap and smells like Ajax. Yuck. But the expression on Edward's face tells me everything I need to know. Edward has found his happy place, and I've never felt prouder. Humph! I am a badass…and boy, do I feel proud!

Gah! They don't call it a job for nothing. I lay back down on the bed exhausted.

"Thank you, Bella…that was amazing, Love," he breathes.

Damn straight it was, Vamp-Man! I smile into his side and mutter, "You're welcome." He scoops me up and brings me to rest on his chest.

"Are you tired, Love?" he asks, nuzzling his face against my neck.

"Mmm…hmmm…" I respond with a huge yawn. I'm sooo sleepy. I feel so completely and utterly content. I never want to leave this magical little cottage,

"Edward," I say suddenly.

"What is it, Love?"

"I love it here."

"What, this place?" he asks in disbelief.

"Yeah…it's so cozy and warm."

"It's a dump!" he laughs.

"No it isn't," I say. "It's beautiful here. I love this cottage. I want to live here some day," I tell him with a big yawn.

He chuckles a little and I feel his head nod against my face. "Whatever you want, Love…it's yours." He kisses my hair and I snuggle into him closer.

"Sleep, Bella..." he whispers into my ear. I hear him begin to hum my lullaby and I feel my eyes grow heavy with fatigue. I close them gently and sigh into his hair.

And for the first time ever…I feel…I'm _home._

**_Authors Note: I have been slowly fixing up my earlier chapters with the help of my beta, coleen561. Although I have not made any significant changes to the text, I did-uh-include a small mini-lemon in chapter 12 (Guilty as Charged). Apparently Edward wasn't satisfied to just get his hair washed. Freaking vamp owns me!_**

**_So...now you know why Laurent was hanging with the creepy dynamic duo when he first came to Forks. I'll admit, Edward really was disappointed with the direction I took with this chapter (Not the end...he REALLY liked that part!). No, he was hoping to pull an Emmett and tear Laurent's ass from limb to limb. So we compromised...Laurent lives and Bella gives him a BJ. He really is a piece of work..._**

**_Reviewers get a dirty porno-perv photograph (EDWARDIAN!) with love from Edward and Bella. Please indicate your preference in your review._**


	18. Chapter 18: Promises

I was sick this week so I was able to write this chapter while I convalesced…I was shocked at how quickly it all came together. Enjoy!

**This chapter was made possible by coleen561. Thank you Coleen!**

Chapter 18

Promises

EPOV

I lay here deep in thought once Bella has fallen asleep. This weekend has opened my mind and my heart to so many possibilities. Who would have ever thought that when I was making plans to leave on Friday for my self-imposed exile, that I would now be lying here, in the old caretaker's cottage, with my beloved's face pressed against my heart? Maybe Alice…but I certainly never did!

My thoughts drift back to all of the events that have taken place in the past 24 hours and I beam; this has been an amazing weekend… I'm _not _leaving, I'm _not _a virgin, and…I _AM_ engaged! I lie here grinning like a fool.

Which reminds me; I still need to give Bella my mother's ring. God, I hope she likes it. I know it is very old fashioned, and frankly, a bit gaudy. Hmmm…perhaps I should get her something else. I could order her a ring from Tiffany's…something classic…perhaps a large square diamond surrounded by sapphires. Her birthstone is sapphire….yes…I think she would love that.

I hear my cell phone vibrate in the next room. I ease Bella off my chest, and she curls into a small ball. I smile as I tuck the quilt around her small frame. She is the most precious thing to me…I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her. Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about that.

I climb out of bed and go into the main room of the cottage and grab my jeans, pluck out the phone, and read the text. It's from Alice.

**Call me**

I throw my clothes on, step just outside the door, and call her cell. She answers on the first ring.

"Edward! I am so happy to hear from you…Oh My GOD! You're engaged!" Alice is shrieking into the phone, and I cringe from the high pitched squeals she is now making into my sensitive vampire ears. "I'm so excited! Tell me…Tell me EVERYTHING!"

I chuckle out loud. I don't know why she needs me to tell her anything; I know Miss Nosey Parker has already seen everything anyway. I just hope to God she doesn't start up about my loss of virginity…

"And, OH MY FREAKING GOD! You're Not a VIRGIN anymore!"

I sigh…and here we go…

"Look, Alice," I try to interrupt. "I know you're excited, but please…I beg you from all that is holy…do NOT start waxing poetical about my sex life," I plead.

"Pfft! I am not going to 'wax poetical' over THAT, brother dear. That's your own business. But…Oooh! I'm just so damn happy for you both!" She actually sounds as if she is crying. Huh…she probably is. Girls are like that, whether they shed tears or not.

"I know you're happy for me, Alice," I say thickly. "I want to thank you…_all of you_. You'll never know how much this weekend has meant to me. When I left for Canada Friday, I never in a million years thought that I'd be here now with Bella. Or that we would have ever been able to have expressed our love…"

I find myself getting a choked up now, and clear my throat heavily.

"Thank you, Alice...thank you for coming to see Bella before I left…you and Rose. You will never know just how much that means to me. And please…thank everyone for their letters. It means the world to me that you all cared enough about me, about us, to intervene. If I had left Bella…well…I cannot even bear to think what might have happened to her…to us.

"And Emmett…." At this my voice clogs up again, and I feel the emotion overwhelming me. I take a few deep breaths and continue. "Just…just thank Emmett for me, will you please? And tell him…tell him that I'll call him tonight. I want to thank him myself…for what he did…I…I'll never be able to repay him…"

"Oh, Edward," she cries. "Of course I'll tell him. We only did these things because we love you, you know that right?"

I nod my head into the phone; I am still unable to talk.

"Listen," she says, attempting to change the subject and lighten our conversation. "I wanted you to know that I think you should give Bella your mother's ring. I know you think it's old fashioned, and it is. But Bella is very sentimental, and I know she is going to love it," she says gently.

"You think so?" I ask, traces of doubt still in my mind.

"_I know so_," she states emphatically. "But your thoughts about the sapphires were lovely…maybe when I get back, we can sit down and design a wedding band to go with your mother's ring?" she suggests.

Wedding band! I hadn't thought of that…what a wonderful idea. The thought of Bella wearing my mother's ring AND a wedding band causes me to grin like a fool. I hear Alice laugh in delight.

"Oh, Edward, you're so happy! I miss you… When can we come home?" she implores.

"Yes, I am happy, Alice… so VERY happy. In fact I am happier now than I have ever been in all of my existence. And I want you all to come home…I don't want to be away from my family…especially now. Besides…we've got a wedding to plan…"

I have to hold the phone away from my ear because she is literally screaming with rapture. I wait for her screams, swoons, and sighs to dissipate before I attempt to say any more. Finally after a few long moments she calms down enough for me to continue.

"Listen, Alice, today is Sunday…would you mind waiting until tomorrow to return? I'd like to take Bella out to breakfast, and then maybe to our meadow. We still have a lot to discuss…" I trail off.

"Of course, I think that's a great idea! Listen though…do you think you can get the house ready for our return? You know how much Esme hates coming home to a cold house. Everything's still there. Maybe you can uncover the furniture and straighten up a bit." I agree to take care of this task, and we say goodbye, tenderly.

"I love you, Alice"

I love you too, Edward. Take care of yourselves, and we'll see you tomorrow."

I end the call and put the phone back in my pocket and sigh. My family is so important to me, and I have so much to be thankful to them for. I wish I could think of something that will show my appreciation…

"Edward?" I turn around and see Bella just as she wraps her arms around my waist. She is wearing the quilt that my Scottish grandmother made, and she presses her face into my back. I turn around and give her a kiss.

"Good morning, Sweetheart, did you have a good sleep?" I ask kissing her again, on the nose and then her jaw.

"Mmm-hmmm, I did. I can't believe I slept all through the late afternoon and the night, though. Why didn't you wake me up?" she asks somewhat sheepishly.

"Because, you needed your rest after everything that happened yesterday," I say, nuzzling my face into her neck. She kisses my hair and hugs me…I tell her that I love her, and she returns the sentiment.

"It's a beautiful morning. Why don't we return to the house and shower? I want to take you to breakfast and then maybe we can go for a hike. We haven't been to the meadow in ages. I'll bet the flowers are still in bloom. Would you like that?"

She nods her head happily against my chest, and we go back into the cottage so she can throw her clothes back on.

"Edward?" she asks, as she bends over to put her shoes on.

"What is it, Love?"

"I meant what I said to you last night about this cottage. I really love it here. Do you think we could live here after we're married?" she asks shyly. I smile…_married_… God, that sounds so nice!

I look up at her happily and nod my head in agreement. "Of course, Love, if that is what you really want. I'll bet Esme will be delighted to help us remodel. Do you think we should tear it down and just build something bigger?"

She shakes her head no. "I don't want to tear any of it down, Edward. It has so much character!" she exclaims.

"I know, but it is awfully tiny…" I drift off; still thinking privately that it is not only small, but it is also a disaster. The floors are rough and need to be replaced, and the ceiling sags and is stained. But the fire place is enormous and the stones are quite beautiful. There is even a lovely stained glass window that is set over the fireplace. It is dirty and has a few cracks, but it is still quite stunning when the sun streams in, as it does now.

Shit! The _sun…_I won't be able to take Bella out to breakfast after all.

As if reading my mind, Bella looks up and says, "Edward, let's not go out to breakfast. It's too sunny for you to be safe, and besides, I don't want to run into people right now. I just want it to be us for awhile longer, okay?"

I nod my head in agreement. "I might be able to make you some pancakes…would you like that, Love? I think we still have some syrup and things left over from the last time you spent the night with Alice."

"Yum, pancakes sound great. Let's go…I'm starving," she whines in a silly voice. I laugh and take her hand, and we begin our walk back to the house.

Once there, she goes upstairs to take a shower, and I look in the pantry and the fridge to retrieve the ingredients to make her pancakes. I cut up some bananas and add them to the batter, and prepare the griddle. Then I make her a cup of tea, put the batter on the griddle, flip them expertly on to a plate, and assemble everything on the tray and carry it upstairs. I arrive just in time to see her step out of the bathroom. She has showered and is wrapped in a towel. I notice that she has a few bruises on her shoulder, and I rush over to her in a panic.

"Bella…Oh, my God, I've bruised you…"

"Edward, STOP. Yes, I noticed that I have a few bruises; I have some on my hips too. But I do NOT want you to start up. I'm FINE. I bruise easily, and I knew you were going to be upset about it when you saw them. It's only a few and it probably happened because we were rolling around on the floor," she reminds me with a wink.

I go over to her and remove the towel and begin my inspection. She's right…she does have two small bruises on her hip and another tiny one on her bottom. I kiss each one tenderly and whisper that I'm sorry. She looks down at me and laughs.

"I think this type of thing is normal for all couples after makeup sex. Really…if you weren't a vampire your back would probably be covered with scratches and bite marks, as well as a few bruises," she laughs. I chuckle a little and tell her again that I'm sorry and I promise to be gentler in the future. She gives a big sigh of relief.

"I thought maybe you'd be so upset that you wouldn't want to make love to me anymore," she admits ruefully.

I roll my eyes and chuckle. As if that were even possible! Now that I've opened up that long closed window and allowed my desire to shine through, I seriously doubt I will ever be able to stop making love to my girl. I swoop down and pick her up carefully and kiss her lips.

"Well, that's never going to happen, Love. In fact, I would love nothing more than to carry you back to bed and show you just how utterly ridiculous that fear of your is. BUT…I know you have to be sore after all that 'makeup sex' from yesterday…"

"Not to mention the _comfort sex_, we had earlier yesterday morning," she interrupts with a raised brow. "Or, the _fuck me hard sex_ from the night before…OR the wonderful _love making_ that we did for the FIRST TIME, Friday evening. Sheesh, Edward! I'm really quite exhausted…I think I need to go back to bed for at least a year," she teases.

I groan out loud…why did she have to bring up all those erotic memories? Now my erection is hard as a rock, and given her fragile state I can't even do anything about it!

She leans towards me and strokes her finger along my inseam, provoking my arousal even further. I let out a long moan and remove her hand gently.

"Um, Bella…I think I'm going to take a quick shower." (And take matters in my own hands…literally, I think to myself with a grin.) "Why don't you get dressed and eat your breakfast and then we can go on our hike?"

"Okay, you do that little thing," she says with a laugh, pushing me towards the door to the bathroom.

_Little?_ Hah! I chuckle recalling how she referred to my arousal as a "big cock." I turn around and give her lips a quick peck, and head to the shower. You just wait a day or two and give your body a chance to recover…I'll show you little…

"I'm counting on that," she sings out to me.

Huh! I didn't realize that I muttered that thought out loud. I wiggle my eyebrows at her suggestively, and she laughs, shutting the door. I turn on the shower and enter chuckling. And then I proceed to 'do that little thing.'

BPOV

I stroll over to the bed and look at the tray. Edward made me banana pancakes…yum! I climb carefully onto the bed and begin to eat. While I'm stuffing my face (God, this boy can cook!), I look around his room, puzzled. The TV he had hanging on his wall is gone. I look around, and I see it in the corner; it's wrapped in a sheet. Curious, I get up cautiously and explore his room more closely. I note that his trash can is full to the brim and that there are small pieces of broken glass on the floor. And his chair - all I see is a pile of wood, stacked neatly where it once sat under his desk. Hmmm…what exactly went on here after I left the room late yesterday afternoon? I take my plate and tea and go over to the couch where I sit down to finish my breakfast. That's when I notice his book shelf; well, what's left of it anyway…

I hear the shower turn off, and Edward emerges moments later, wearing a pair of blue boxers and a sheepish grin.

"So, Edward," I say nonchalantly. "Exactly what when down here yesterday after I left? It looks like you had a little home improvement project going on. Remodeling, much?" I tease.

He smirks, "I may have had a mild temper tantrum," he confesses with a short laugh. He looks down at his feet, embarrassed.

I set my breakfast on the floor, get up off the couch, and walk over to him.

"Hey," I say giving him a little hip bump, "it's okay. I had a mild nervous breakdown in the woods after I left you, yesterday." I look up at him, and he wraps his arms around me, hugging me close.

"But we're good now, right?" I ask looking into his eyes.

"Yeah, we're good," he replies as he bends down to give me a soft lingering kiss.

Oh, how CUTE…he said '_yeah_'…I wonder if he really is starting to change, just like he warned me he might. I wonder briefly if he'll soon start biting his lips and stumbling into furniture. I laugh in spite of myself.

"What is it, Love?" he asks raising his brow,

"Nothing," I chuckle.

"Bella…" he warns. "Tell me."

I shake my head chuckling.

"What I wouldn't give to hear your thoughts," he starts to say. Then he takes his hands and puts them on my shoulders a little sharply and gives me a strange look.

"What is it?" I ask concerned.

"Yesterday," he begins. "Yesterday, when you saw Laurent coming towards you in the woods… I…I …HEARD you Bella. I HEARD you!"

"I didn't say anything, Edward. I was too scared," I confess. I am confused. Why is he looking at me so intently, and why are his hands clutching me so hard? I gasp, and he lightens his hold on me while continuing to give me that intense look.

"Sorry, _sorry_…I didn't mean to grab at you like that. But, Bella, I swear by all that is holy that I heard your thoughts yesterday! I DID! I saw Laurent's face through your eyes, and then I heard you say 'I love you Edward'…You THOUGHT it, Bella. You THOUGHT it, and I HEARD you!"

And then it hits me, and I gasp. "Edward, I DID…I remember a weird feeling came over me and then I saw a white light. It was bizarre…I remember it felt like something suddenly was lifted. And I DID say 'Edward, I love you'…I remember, now. Only I didn't say it out loud…." I trail off in a whisper.

"We'll have to ask Carlisle…" we both say at the same time. Then we laugh.

"Edward, there's something else I need to ask Carlisle about," I say to him hesitantly.

"What, Love?" he asks, concerned.

"Yesterday, when you were telling me about Lottie…when you cried…" He looks up at me in embarrassment. I give him a little reassuring hug.

"Go on," he says encouragingly.

"Well, the strangest thing happened. I was holding you, and you felt different. You felt…warm. And then I swear I felt your tears, Edward…and they were real tears, NOT venom. And your eyes…your eyes were GREEN. I saw them. It was like…it was like I was holding Teddy in my arms, Edward."

"I know, Bella, I mean…I didn't know about my eyes, but everything else…I felt it too," he whispers.

Huh! Something else to ask poor Carlisle about. The good doctor is certainly is going to be busy when he returns, that's for sure!

"Edward, when is your family coming back, anyway? Were you on the phone with Alice this morning?"

"Yes, I spoke to her just before you woke up, they'll be home sometime tomorrow. Is that okay?" he asks slightly concerned.

"Are you kidding? I can't wait to see everybody again! I miss them all so much."

"Even Jasper?" Edward asks hesitantly.

"Yes, even Jasper. _Especially Jasper_…" I say. "Just look at the wonderful bed and all the happy memories he has already given to us. Besides…he needs to know that I forgive him. I love Jasper…he is such a gentle soul. I know he was fighting his bloodlust when he lunged at me, Edward. I honestly don't believe he would ever intentionally hurt me."

Edward nods his head in agreement, and sighs, obviously relieved.

"Bella, can we sit down for a moment? I…I want to talk to you a little about what happened to me after you left yesterday." I nod my head, and we move over to the couch and sit. He takes my hands in his and looks down at them trying to gather his words. He looks up at me, his eyes shining.

"First off, I want to apologize to you for the things I said, or…perhaps, DIDN'T say to you when you asked me yesterday if I was going to change you. I know I told you that I didn't want to risk your soul, and a part of me will always feel that way. But you were right, Bella…I had no right to ask you to marry me without offering you something in return. I know you wish to be changed so we can always be together, and I want you to know…I want that too."

I look at him and smile, he sounds so earnest and so sweet.

"What made you change your mind?" I ask.

He sits back on the couch a little and sighs. "It was a combination of things…everything you said, plus my own selfish desire to keep you with me forever. I don't want to live another day on this earth without you in it. Also…Alice…she left some photographs in my tool kit," he says rolling his eyes.

"Your _tool kit_?" I ask, raising my brow. He chuckles at my expression.

"Yes, I thought it was a strange place for her to leave them too. But you know Alice…she must have seen me knock my shelf down in one of her visions, and I guess she saw me fetch my tools. I don't know…" he trails off. "But regardless, I started looking through them and I realized two things…two things that made me realize what I should have known all along."

"And that was…?" I ask, encouragingly.

"Well, they were family photos…trips we had taken over the years, that sort of thing. Anyway, I noticed that in every picture, I was always alone. It made me feel…forlorn…lonely…lost. But then I came to the last one in the set, it was a picture that Esme took of us last summer. You remember the night…you'd come to spend the night with Alice, and Esme gathered us in the living room for a family photo, remember? You were wearing that blue blouse…I commented on it. It looked so beautiful on you…with your skin."

"You really love the color blue, don't you?" I ask teasingly.

He looks at me, smiles, and gives me a small kiss on my temple as he smoothes my hair back. "Correction…I LOVE the color blue on YOU." He kisses my nose, and I giggle.

"In any event, when I looked at that picture, I saw all of us paired off…and that's when I knew…"

"What did you know?" I ask, holding my breath for some inexplicable reason.

"I knew then that you were already one of us. That changing you was just a technicality. I realized then, that my whole existence…my sole reason for being transformed back in 1918 must have been God's plan all along…so I could wait for YOU…"

"Oh, Edward!" I cry. "I had exactly the same thought. When I was outside walking, I started getting upset too. I kept seeing your face when I left, how hurt you were. I got upset with myself. I shouldn't have been so demanding to you…I mean…after everything you had just shared with me about your sister…I don't know…I just felt so ashamed."

"You spoke from the heart, Bella. I WAS a stubborn ass…I should have listened to you and not treated you like a child," he says emphatically.

"Well, I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I know you…I know that you needed time to process everything…I shouldn't have given you an ultimatum. I'm sorry, Edward…"

"I'm sorry too, sweetheart," he says, as he envelopes me in a tight embrace. I return his hug and kiss him tenderly on his neck.

"Edward…what you said about thinking that you had to more or less die so you could be changed and wait for me… I …I had the same thought too. When I was walking I started to cry, thinking about our fight, and everything we said… Anyway, while I was crying, I remember thinking that the reason all of that happened to you was because we were meant to be together. And if that hadn't happened to you, we would never have met…I hadn't been born yet…" I trail off, overcome.

"Yes," he says into my hair. "That's exactly what I was thinking too, love."

We look into each other's eyes, smiling…breathing each other in. I feel so much love emanating between us in this moment. I think he feels it too. We sit there for long moments, just enjoying the sweetness of the moment, and then he pushes me back gently and stands.

"Bella, I know we still have a lot to talk about…plans to make…" he drifts off. "I think we should discuss everything later, in our meadow. Would that be acceptable to you?" I nod my head happily and stand up.

"If it's okay with you, I'm going to throw some clothes on and straighten up a little down stairs and then we can leave. Why don't you call Charlie and see how he is faring this weekend? I'm sure he misses you, love."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Don't you want me to help you, though?" I ask, knowing that it'll take him all of five minutes to do a task that would take me several hours to complete.

He chuckles and shakes his head no, and gives me a small kiss as he heads down the stairs.

I need to call Charlie. Crap! I wonder when Edward and I will break the happy news to him about our engagement. Hmm…something tells me Charlie isn't going to look at it as happy news…

I look around for my cell phone, but I can't find it anywhere. I go to the stairs and holler down to Edward, asking if he knows where it is. He yells back that it is in the jeans that he wore yesterday. Finding them in the bathroom, I take out the phone and return to sit on the bed. Here goes nothing.

Charlie answers on the first ring.

"Bella, I'm glad you called, honey. I was starting to get worried about you. Is everything okay…how's Alice?" He sounds happy and relieved to hear from me. I give a little sigh of relief.

"Um, I'm fine, Dad. Alice is good," I half way lie. Edward just talked to her this morning, so I know for a fact she's fine. "Where are you, are you home or at the station?"

"Naw, I'm home. I went into work earlier on my way back from the res. It's such a nice day that I decided to pull rank and have Joe cover for me. Billy and I are going fishing with Jake and Quill later on. By the way, Jake says hi."

I smile at this comment. Jacob is Billy's son. He's a year younger than me. We used to make mud pies together when we were little. I haven't seen him since Prom. I grin remembering how he tried to warn me about the Cullens. I laughed it off then, even though I knew in my heart that Jacob knew more about the Cullens and their secret than he'd let on. Jake is a good kid though…he's got a big heart. I heard that he was now dating a girl on the reservation named Leah.

"Tell Jake I said hi for me, Dad, okay?"

"Will do," he says. I sense a little hesitation in his voice and ask him if everything is okay. He assures me that everything's fine, but then I hear him clear his throat…

"Um, Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad?" I ask puzzled as to what he is going to say.

"Ahhh…it's really nothing. Just…um…Billy and some of the other guys were talking about the Cullens last night. I dunno…they were drinking and started babbling shit…uh…_stuff,_ about them being not quite _right_. They were mumbling strange stuff about them being… _Cold Ones_. It was so weird. I mean…I grew up here in Forks, I know this place is loaded with a lot of stories, most of it _crap_," he emphasizes. "But anyway…I just wanted you to know, that I set them straight. I told them that I had nothing but the utmost respect for Doc Cullen and his wife. I also told them that I never had any trouble of any kind with any of their kids. I let them know that I was very fond of Alice, and that even though I'm not crazy about you dating anyone until you're at least thirty….well…I told them that Edward was a GREAT kid. I mean…when he went to see you back in Phoenix…it was…well…it was…_good."_ Charlie clears his throat before he continues. "When I first met him I wasn't too sure about him…but after that…and…uh…especially when you came home with your leg all busted up…well, he really proved himself to me. I know he'll always do right by you, is what I'm trying to say…" he finishes off.

I sit there holding the phone stunned. My throat feels tight, and I swallow down the lump that has begun to form. His words mean so much to me…

"Um, thank you, Dad. I've heard those stupid stories too; I just never said anything because I felt dumb for even listening to them."

"Yeah, I feel the same way, Bells. And for the record, Billy and the guys shut up about everything after my little tirade. But all the same, I think it would probably be a good idea for you to let Edward know that I think it would be wise for him and his family not to hang around the reservation or La Push. I mean…I love those guys like they were my brothers, but I know how superstitious and reckless they can be. Just…tell Edward to be cautious around them, okay?"

Yeah…like that's a problem. Edward and his family give the Quileutes a wide berth, he already told me legends about them turning into wolves if they got too close to the Cold Ones… Luckily, their paths rarely crossed. I mean Forks isn't that big, but the treaty they supposedly signed all those years ago just meant they couldn't cross onto each other's land. In a way it's a disappointment because I really like Jake and his family…it would be nice if we could all be friends. But I know where my loyalties lie.

"Thanks, Dad, I'll be sure to let him know." He asks me when I'm coming home, and I tell him I'll be back early tomorrow night, since there's no school tomorrow. He tells me he loves me, I return his sentiments, and then we hang up. I didn't tell him anything about Edward and me getting engaged. I'm not ready for that conversation yet. Besides…Edward still hasn't actually proposed. Not formally anyway. I wonder if he'll give me a ring, and then I wonder if I'll be brave enough to wear it if he does. The idea of flaunting a diamond while I'm still attending high school seems a little Podunk…

"Bella, are you ready to go?" Edward comes back into the room, his face all aglow. I've never seen him so happy or so carefree. I go over to him, wrap my arms around him, and give him a big kiss.

"What was that for?" he asks, chuckling.

"Nothing," I reply. I chuckle too. "I've just never seen you this way. You seem…I don't know. Different…you seem so happy!"

He picks me up, brings my face close to his, kisses me soundly, and sets me down. "I _am_ happy. In fact…I have never been happier." I look up at him and I swear he is glowing. His impossibly beautiful face just got even more so. Damn, he sure is pretty!

"Are you ready to go?" he asks, giving my behind a playful swat. I look at him in shock, and he smirks back. Huh! So you wanna play, Vamp Man? Just you wait until I'm changed…

"Yup," I say.

"Good," he murmurs as he swings me around on his back and heads for the window.

"I thought we were going to take your car and then hike," I laugh into his neck.

"Now, what would be the fun in that?" he laughs back. "You'd better hang on tight, spider monkey."

I loop my arms around his neck and do as I'm told. "You'd better hold on tight to ME, Vamp Man," I say sternly.

"Yes, Ma'm," he says with a laugh.

He leaps out of the window and takes off running. I hum the theme from Batman in his ear, and I feel his chest vibrate with laughter. I know in my heart, this is going to be a special day.

It is…

EPOV

I run through the forest with Bella humming the theme from Batman in my ears. Every once in a while she makes up silly little lyrics and sings them to me, always finishing them off with…na,na,na,na,…VAMP MAN! I can't help but laugh at her silliness.

I run through the woods, and cross over the river that leads us into the deeper part of the forest. Our property isn't adjoined to the meadow, but it isn't far, and I am very fast. Soon enough I see the clearing in the thicket; I stop running and set Bella down gently.

"Are you okay?" I ask. It's been awhile since she ran with me like this. I grin remembering the first time I ran with her on my back. She practically fainted when I had set her down on the ground.

She laughs at me and gives me a little nudge with her hip.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm used it by now," she chuckles. "You don't scare me anymore."

Huh!

"Oh _really?_" I say darkly. "I'll bet I can still scare you," I mumble in a sinister voice. I bend down and put my mouth to her ear.

"RUN!"

She lets out a little shriek and takes off running towards our meadow, tripping and laughing all the way. I hold back and don't move. She stops running and looks over her shoulder to see where I am. I take off at vampire speed and am next to her ear in a flash.

"Looking for me?" I growl in her ear.

"Edward!" she screams. "You scared me! I'm gonna kill you!" she warns, laughing.

"Too late, baby, I'm already dead," I snarl, as I snap my teeth playfully near her neck. We both dissolve into laughter as we head out into the clearing. I was right…it is a beautiful day. The flowers are still in bloom, and the birds are chirping. But I can smell a hint of autumn in the air.

"What are you sniffing at?" she asks.

"Fall…"

"Yeah…me too. I love this time of year, don't you? I think fall is my favorite season. How about you?"

"Any season is wonderful as long as you're there to share it with me," I tease.

Bella rolls her eyes at me and tells me I'm a big ole cheese ball. I laugh…I know I'm cheesy. I cannot help it. I'm a hopeless romantic. But I happen to know Bella is very fond of hopeless romantics.

We settle down in the grass looking at the sky. The air is warm but there is a slight chill in the breeze. I ask her if she's cold, but she shakes her head no. I look at her arm, remembering that I hadn't thought to change her bandage this morning, and pull up her sleeve. Her bandage is still in place and is nice and dry. She tells me she was careful not to get it wet in the shower. I give it a small kiss, and she giggles.

"Still trying to make it all better?"

"Mmm-hmm," I murmur, kissing it softly once again.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Love?"

"Why is it so much easier for you now to control your bloodlust around me? I mean I'm grateful that you can, but I'm confused. It used to be so painful for you to even have me in the same room with you. And now look…we're able to make love, you can change my bandages…what's up with that, anyway?" she asks, perplexed

"Well first off, it isn't _easy… _I do still feel a burn. But you're right…it's nothing like it was before." I let out a sigh…I have no idea myself why it's been so different with her these last few days.

"I really don't have the answer to your question. But I am exceedingly grateful that this is the case," I reply.

"Maybe its _love_," she sighs happily.

I look at her and wink. Who's being the cheesy one now? But then again…maybe…just maybe she is right. Everything changed after she and I consummated our love…_everything_. Maybe LOVE and fully expressing it was the key all along. We both sigh contentedly.

Speaking of love…I feel around in my pocket, checking to make sure I hadn't lost my mother's ring. It hadn't been easy to sneak it out of my keepsake box, but I did manage to do so while Bella was on the phone with her dad. I wonder if she'll accept my ring…I swallow nervously.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella asks, sensing my mood.

"Nothing's wrong," I say as I rise to my feet pulling her up with me. She looks up at me bewildered. I bend down a little and give her a kiss on the tip of her nose. And then I drop to one knee. She looks at me confused, and then a shy smile breaks out on her face when she realizes what I am about to do. I try to stifle my grin, but it's impossible…I have never felt so happy in my life.

"Now, let's see if I can get it right this time," I say more to myself than to her. I hear her laugh a little, and the sound of it reassures me. I look up at her and take her left hand in mine and kiss it.

"Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every single moment of forever. Will you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?"

I take out the little box and open it, pressing it into her hand. A ray of sunlight shines on the diamonds and a rainbow of color arcs over the ring, adding a magical glow to the moment. She looks at me and nods her head, her eyes filling with tears.

"Yes," she says shyly.

I take the ring out and slip it on her finger. It's a perfect fit. I stand up and gather her in my arms and press my forehead to hers.

"Thank you," I breathe. I bend down and give her a kiss.

"Do you like it?" I ask. "I know it's old fashioned…like me. But…it was my mother's, and I know she would be so happy that I finally found the right girl to give it to…" I finish off clumsily. Whew! Asking a girl, even one who already said yes before she received her ring, is DIFFICULT!

BPOV

I look up at Edward and grin. Yes…it IS old fashioned, and if I am to be completely honest, a bit gaudy. I look down at the ring; it looks a lot prettier on my finger than it did in the box.

"I love it!" I squeal. Gah! I am turning into Alice…

He seems thrilled with my response and sweeps me up in his arms and twirls me, just like he did last night. I giggle…this is getting to be a habit…

He puts me down, and I sit back on the grass and then lay down. He follows suit. We lay there quietly, our hands joined as we admire my ring in the sunlight. It really is beautiful. It is a long oval diamond set in a web of platinum and adorned with lots of smaller diamonds. The setting is very old fashioned, but I love that it was his mother's, and I tell him so. He responds by bringing our hands to his mouth and gives my ring a little kiss.

"I love you," he says returning our hands to rest on my stomach.

"I love you too," I say nuzzling into his side. He scoops me up and settles me in the nook of his arm; I rest my head on his chest, sighing. We talk about silly, wonderful things.

"What really is your favorite color, Edward?"

"Brown," he says, playing with my hair. I give him a small punch on his bicep.

"What's yours?" he asks I return.

"Gold," I say, looking into his eyes. He nudges my shoulder with his.

"What's your favorite childhood book?" he asks. I think about it for a moment; I'd loved so many books as a child. But there was one book in particular that I'd read over and over again.

"Peter Pan," I tell him finally. He looks up at me surprised.

"Really? That was a favorite of mine as well. I think I may still have my copy of it in storage."

"You remind me a little of him you know," I say, chuckling.

"And why would that be?" he asks with a smirk.

"I don't know…the lost boy who will never grow up? And the way you come into my window every night…that reminds me of Peter too. It's funny, I never really thought about the similarities till now. But when I was a little girl I used to stand in front of my window every night praying that he would come and whisk me off to Never Never Land."

"I'll bet if I had shown up at your window when you were a child you might have had a heart attack," he says laughing.

"Yeah…but I wouldn't mind if you showed up now…especially if you were wearing a pair of green tights," I tease.

"Never going to happen, Love," he chuckles, kissing my nose. I pout and he captures my lips in a searing kiss. This kiss is different from any other we've shared today…very sensuous, slow, and with the promise of more…

I see where this is leading and I lay back down on the mossy grass. He leans over me, and then settles himself between my legs, careful not to put his full weight on me. His kisses trail down my jaw, to my neck. Before I know it, he has removed my shirt and my bra. His kisses move to my breasts, and I hear him whimper. I tug at his shirt and he removes it, then balls it up and puts it under my head. He looks at me with heavy lidded eyes that are hungry and wanting.

"Bella, I want to make love to you so badly," he whispers. "I know you're too sore…" his whisper trails off.

He's right…I am sore. But I want to share this moment with him in our meadow. In fact, I have wanted to make love to him right here, in this very spot from the first time we came here. I look up at him and see his impossibly beautiful face and sigh. His eyes are expectant and full of need. I whisper to him that I want him too…want him so badly. And before I have time to process it, the rest of our clothing is removed and he enters me, slowly.

He is so gentle, so careful, that I am not in pain…not at all. His arousal is cool and feels like a balm to my heated flesh. I hitch my leg over his hip, and he exudes a long groan that ends in a whimper. I feel my own desire mounting as he thrusts into me gently. Our eyes meet and I feel his arousal grow, his thrusts become deeper, as do his moans. My own orgasm takes me by surprise as I let out a long throaty groan. He looks at me as I climax and he throws his head back as I watch in fascination as his face contorts in a mixture of pleasure and pain. He climaxes with a shudder, as he comes undone in my arms, kissing my neck softly and whispering how utterly in love he is with me. I tell him I love him too…so much.

"Did I hurt you?" he whispers into my neck. I whisper back no, that he was very gentle. He reaches for his jeans and removes a linen handkerchief and cleans me tenderly, then surprisingly presses a soft kiss just above my pubic bone. Our eyes make contact, and for a brief moment a silent understanding passes between us. Edward wants to put his mouth on me...maybe not today...but soon. This thought leaves me tingling and blushing.

We stand up, put on our clothes, and then lay back down in the grass. We are not ready to leave our meadow just yet.

We lay there for a long time talking about our lives, and this weekend, about how we got here…it all seems so surreal to us both. Soon the conversation turns to a discussion about our future and I see him grow pensive. He asks me when I'd like to get married, and I tell him that I'd like it to be right after graduation…the same weekend if possible. My mother and Phil will be here for the ceremony.

"Bella?" he asks hesitantly. "When do you want me to change you?" he looks at me expectantly.

"I don't know," I answer him honestly. And it's the truth. I really don't know how all of this works…only that there is going to be horrible pain and that I'll be an unstable and blood thirsty newborn for a long time afterwards. I look at his face…his anxious smile. I cannot believe that he has agreed to do this after all he put me through these past few months. I know how hard this is for him and this fact makes me fall in love with him even more. Suddenly, I want to give HIM something too…something that I know will make him happy.

"I think we should wait a year after we get married," I say carefully. "I'd like to have that time getting my life in order…maybe go to college…" I can't get my words out because suddenly he has rolled me over on my back and is kissing my face in a series of happy little pecks and smooches.

"Really?" he asks happily through his kisses. He pulls back to look into my eyes, checking for confirmation.

"Really," I confirm giggling. His kisses have now spread to my chest and my stomach and he is tickling me with touches.

"That makes me so happy," he confesses, sighing into my belly button. I reach down and run my fingers through his hair.

"I knew it would," I say laughing. "But don't get any ideas…I still want to be changed before I turn twenty. I don't need to be more than two years older than you," I remind him.

"Bella, only my body is seventeen, remember that. I'm over one hundred years old…I'm not a young chap like you seem to think,' he says looking up at me.

"Perv! Seducing a young innocent girl such as myself…you should be ashamed of yourself!"

He laughs and presses his mouth to mine. It is a slow building kiss…gentle and lovely. But soon the tone of it changes, and we are sharing tongues, and I feel our passion build. He trails kisses down my jaw and across my collar bones. I feel the pang between my legs and push against him gently and with regret. I know that my body cannot take anymore loving today. He looks at me and sighs with a mixture of understanding and disappointment.

We sit back up, and I settle myself between his thighs, my back resting against his chest. He plays with my curls, and we talk about our future.

"Where do you think you'd like to go to college?" he asks absentmindedly, twirling my hair around his thumb.

"Somewhere cloudy," I say laughing.

"Hmm…how about Dartmouth? It's in New Hampshire…I think you would love it there," he says.

"Dartmouth!" I exclaim. "Isn't that Ivy League? I don't think my grades are good enough for me to get in. Besides…I can't afford an Ivy league education," I protest.

He sighs and turns me around to face him. "First of all, your grades are definitely good enough to get into an Ivy League college. You're the smartest student at Forks High School," he praises me.

"Pfft!" I mutter, rolling my eyes. I am NOT the smartest student by any stretch of the imagination and I tell him so. But he only shushes me with a kiss.

"Secondly, YOU may not have the money to spend on an Ivy League education, but I DO." I start to protest, but once again he manages to shut me up with a kiss.

"Silly girl, don't you understand? That's what being married is all about. What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine," he reminds me.

"But I have nothing to give you," I reply. And it's the truth…I really don't have anything. Seriously…if this were the olden days my dowry would be pitiful…nary a cow or a pig to bestow.

"Bella, you give me everything just by breathing," he says in a silly voice. I roll my eyes back and laugh out loud.

"I think we should apply to the University of Wisconsin," I say seriously.

He looks at me puzzled. I laugh…

"Cheese heads…Edward. I honestly cannot think of a better place where you'd fit in. Seriously…'you give me everything just by BREATHING,'" I giggle. "What an adorable ass you are."

"Seriously? You think my ass is adorable?" he jokes. I dissolve into a fit of laughter. Not only did I get him to say 'ass' he also made a little pun.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my vampire boyfriend?" I ask jokingly.

"I am Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, formerly known as Teddy Masen, and soon to be known as Mr. Edward Cullen, HUSBAND to Mrs. Isabella Cullen," he says with a raised brow. "And may I remind you, I am NOT your boyfriend anymore. I am your fiancé," he says importantly.

"That's going to take getting used to," I say.

"We have a while," he says as he bends over and gives me another kiss. The sun reaches down and kisses his face just as his lips capture mine, bathing us in a shower of sparkles and rainbows.

And for the first time in my life, I see my future…and it is beautiful and secure…here in his arms.

**A/N: Whew! This was the longest chapter I've written to date. I hope I was able to cover a few of the concerns that some of my readers had. Specifically I wanted to address the concern that Bella waffled over her feelings regarding Edward's initial refusal to change her in the last chapter. Please bear in mind that Bella is still a teenager…her emotions and stances are bound to be all over the place. I think she has matured a great deal in the last few chapters. I also want it to go on record that this story was never meant to be an Edward bashing. For all of his faults, I LOVE my vampire and so does Bella. And he really has come an awfully long way over the course of this weekend. Leave him some LOVE!**

**We are starting to wind down on this story…just a few more chapters plus an epilogue left. If there is something you'd like to see included in this story you can pm me. I make no promises…but I'll check it out with my muse!**

**Oh, and one more thing…Bella and Edward were NOT supposed to have any sexytimes in this chapter. If this were real life Bella would be in the ER with a raging case of honeymoon cystitis and possible internal injuries. But they reminded me that it IS a story and they wanted to consummate their engagement. (Rolling eyes here). WHATEV'S…I think Edward is going to be a problem child the next few months…he is one horny toad!**

**Do you think having sex five times in a three day weekend is too much? Inquiring minds want to know.**


	19. Chapter 19: Dinner and a Movie

This chapter was made possible by coleen561. Thank you so much for your advice, talks, and your editing skills.

Chapter 19

Dinner and a movie

EPOV

Bella and I stayed in the meadow for hours, talking and laughing about everything and anything. It was the most relaxing afternoon either of us had spent in each other's company. Gone were the restraints of our former relationship; we were now able to fully enjoy simply being with each other. The strain of the last few days had been lifted, and we luxuriated in the beauty of the sunlight and the soft gentle breeze that intermittently blew our way. Both of us realized that our weekend was rapidly coming to an end and although we were looking forward to reuniting with my family, neither of us wanted to leave our bubble just yet. However, Bella desperately needed something to eat besides the usual fare of eggs, ham, and cheese so we decided to go to Port Angles for a date night.

We returned home from our meadow shortly after four o'clock, and took a shower that was supposed to be quick, but lasted longer than the hot water did. I wonder how on earth I will ever be able to shower solo; Bella makes even the most mundane tasks so interesting. (And yes…she did wash AND condition my hair…TWICE!)

I decided it might be a fun change of pace to take the Aston Martin for a spin (I was also trying to be stealthy while driving through Forks)…Charlie Swan was on duty tonight and his eagle eyes would certainly spot the Volvo if we were in his radar. All I needed was to be pulled over by an overly protective father, who just happens to be the Chief of police. But as Bella pointed out, at least I'm bullet proof… In any event, we had just gotten on the highway and were both looking forward to a quiet dinner and movie.

"So, sweetheart…what movie did you want to see this evening?" I ask, noting that she is fiddling with my audio sounds, and cringing as she presses all the buttons and launches a vicious assault with the controls. Huh! This is going to take a little getting adjusted to…I really don't like having my sound system toyed with.

"Um, I was thinking about _Red Riding Hood_," she says absently as she continues to twist, turn, and shuffle the buttons and knobs.

"Um, Edward…exactly how does this thing work, anyway?" she asks as she continues to mess up the delicate mechanisms.

I look over at her and explain, "It has an iPod retro-fit service that connects the music collection to the car's built in audio system. The docking station is in the console and the audi …"

"I don't speak car and driver, Edward," she snaps at me with a raised brow. "I just want to hear some music, sheesh!" she huffs impatiently, her fingers pressing every button and gadget on the console.

I stifle a groan and put my hands on top of hers to assist, and she pulls back sharply. I look at her and grin, remembering the first time she was in my Volvo and our hands accidently touched. She had gasped at the coldness of my skin.

"Sorry, Love. I know my hands are cold. Let me put the heater on for you." It's not a cold night, but I know my body heaves frost like an overzealous air conditioner.

She looks over at me and her face softens. "Cold hands, warm heart…" she takes my hand and presses it to her heart, then brings it up to her lips and kisses it gently. Her brown eyes are soft in the twilight. MY dead heart flutters, and I bring our hands up to my own mouth and kiss her softly.

All at once I am consumed with such a warm feeling of love and happiness. I simply HAVE to kiss her…NOW! I glance at my rear view mirror and pull over into the break down lane.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asks concerned.

"Nothing is wrong," I murmur as I pull her into my embrace. "I just have to kiss you," I explain as I press my lips on her warm, red mouth. Her breath is hot and sweet as it fills my senses completely. The overwhelming feeling of love that prompted my action to pull over is now laced with strong overtones of lust. I move my lips away from her mouth and kiss her jaw and then her neck, hungrily.

"Edward!" she gasps. "What are you doing? We're on a public highway…" She is protesting with her words, but her hands are in my hair and her lips are kissing down my throat. I take one of her hands and press it against my arousal as my own hand snakes its way into her shirt, seeking her nipple. "Mmmm…Bella…."

She gasps as I pull on her nipple, lowering my mouth to replace my fingers. Just as I am about to make contact, she tugs on my hair hard.

"Edward, stop!" Her cry is akin to throwing a bucket of water on me. I stop at once, feeling ashamed. Bella pulls back into her seat adjusting her blouse and smoothing her hair.

"I'm so sorry, Bella…" I try to apologize. I cannot believe that I committed such a brazen act in public, let alone on a busy highway.

"Get back on the highway," she says sternly. I do as I am told, thoroughly chastised. I am trying desperately to think of the correct words so I can form a proper apology, but for some inexplicable reason words fail me. Instead I pull back on to the asphalt and proceed towards Port Angles.

"Take that exit," Bella suddenly commands. I glance over at her puzzled; this is not the way to Port Angles. She returns my quizzical look with a raised brow and then surprises me with a wink. I look ahead and see a sign that says 'Scenic Overlook One Mile.' Suddenly I feel a tug on my zipper, and I almost lose control of the car as I feel Bella's tiny hand plunge into my boxers capturing my now painful erection.

"Step on it," she orders, squeezing and tugging at my, er, cock. Amazingly, I don't explode on contact, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to detonate soon. I put the pedal to the metal, and the Vanquish all but flies as we follow the signs to the scenic overlook.

I pull over at one of the scenic overlooks and park the Vanquish. It is a beautiful starry night, and the air is crisp, clean, and cool. But I hardly notice any of that, because Bella is practically attacking me in her haste to remove my jeans from my hips. I lift my hips to assist, as she lowers her head to my lap. Is she going to-?

"Oh, Christ!" I scream out, as she takes me into her hot, wet mouth. I grip the leather seat hard and my fingers plunge through the covering like a knife in soft butter. Oh, fuck… that's going to need replacing. My brain is scrambling to process the destruction, but now Bella is licking and sucking me hard with her mouth as her free hand finds its way to my scrotum. Squeeze, suck, lick, repeat.

Mmmm…oh God, that's good. Forget about the seats, Edward, my boy, and just go along for the ride.

I look down at her, and our eyes make contact. She is still licking and sucking, and I am gasping and moaning and groaning so loud that my sounds are shaking the car and rattling the glass. She hums hard with her ministrations and gives my testicles a firm squeeze.

And that's all it takes.

"Fuck!" I yell out, filling her mouth with my seed. She swallows, licks her lips, and releases me with a pop and a grin.

"Feel better, now?"

"Mmm hmm," I mumble.

I want it to be duly noted that I have NEVER mumbled anything in my life. I pride myself on being clear, concise, and articulate. But truly…this woman has reduced me to a mumbling and bumbling fool. And I find that I quite enjoy it.

"Good," she says as she helps me tug my pants up, sits back, and straightens her blouse.

"Can we go to dinner now, cuz I'm starving," she deadpans.

"But…what about you?" I say, reaching for her. She slaps my hand away and opens her purse and pulls out her lip gloss.

"You can have me for desert," she jokes as she applies the gloss to her reddened lips.

"Bella, you-you just gave me a b-b-blow job in my car." I stutter in disbelief.

I cannot _believe_ I just said _blow job_...and to a lady. If I were able, I am certain I would be blushing.

"Mmm…hmm…I did," she purrs. "And I think you really enjoyed it too. Look at the rearview mirror."

I look up and see the mirror. It is dangling from the window precariously and has a crack straight down the middle. Huh! I really wish I HAD taken the Volvo after all. I cannot imagine the ribbing I am going to get from my brothers when they see the damage I have inflicted on the Vanquish.

"Emmett's going to get a kick out of this one," Bella teases me as if reading my thoughts.

"Are you sure YOU'RE not a mind reader?" I ask in surprise.

"Nope, but I do know how to read YOU," she says importantly.

"Oh, you think you know me, do you?" I ask darkly as I reach for her and pull her close.

"Mmm-hmm… I know all about you, Edward Cullen. So do not ever think you can pull anything over on me," she warns playfully.

"Oh, is that a fact?" I mummer, as I lean in slowly, kissing her plump moist mouth. I extend my tongue and carefully trace the outline of her lips, licking the strawberry flavored lip gloss off her mouth. It doesn't taste bad, but I much prefer the taste of all natural Bella.

My lips leave her mouth and begin their natural descent towards destination breasts. (Do not mock me…in this moment I am not a vampire; I am simply a horny seventeen year old boy who really wants to get lucky for the first time in his car.)

My mouth makes its circuit as it trails down her jaw, to her neck, then back up slowly to her ear, where I lick the shell of it softly and blow gently into its depths.

"Ungh…" she groans as she fills the depths of my car with the scent of her arousal. My nostrils flare and I let out a soft groan of my own. My erection is now so hard that I pop the button on my jeans, and the zipper is strained to the extreme.

Looks like we're not going to have an early dinner after all…

My hand slides along her milky thigh; I am so glad that she is wearing a skirt. This is rare for her, but she made an exception tonight. I think she did it for me, though she was quick to assure me that she grabbed the denim skirt from her drawer by mistake when she was packing. Regardless, I still think she did it for me, because Lord knows if there's anything I love better than Bella, it is Bella wearing a skirt. Or better yet, nothing at all.

Like I said….all boy and not a vampire in sight…mmm….

My mouth is on its way towards those luscious breasts, as I snake my tongue into her cleavage. Oh, good Lord…she is wearing the blue lace bra!

I am now absolutely wild with desire and judging from the sounds coming from her throat she is right there with me. Her chest is heaving, and my hand finds its way to her bottom as it desperately tries to find her panties. I run my hand over her legs higher and higher, but all I feel is satiny soft flesh.

Christ…she isn't wearing panties! I let out a growl and hear her laugh softly.

"Told you I can still surprise you," she teases, as she presses my face harder into her breasts. I let out a whimper, as my hand moves from her bottom towards her inner thighs. I can feel her arousal dripping between them.

Mmmm…I moan as my fingers make contact with her honeyed center.

**RAP!**

We both jump back startled; a stern faced police officer is at my window.

Fuck! How on earth had I NOT heard his thoughts or his approach?

Bella pulls down her skirt and frantically attempts to straighten out her blouse. I press the button on the dash and my window winds down.

"Yes, Officer?" I ask stupidly. Well, this is certainly a first for me. If I thought Emmett was going to tease me about the destruction of my car's interior, I can only imagine what he will say about my current predicament.

"Please step out of the car sir and show me your license and registration," he says gruffly.

I do as he asks, and he looks over my information carefully. Bella shrinks back against the window and hides her face. I can feel the heat from her blush. I hope to God she is not going to kill me after this ordeal is over…

"Well, Mr. Cullen, I see here that everything appears to be in order. However, you really should be more careful with this young lady. It is very dangerous for teenagers to park on this overlook at night. We've had a few bad situations occur over the years…I would hate to see something happen to you kids. Whatever your destination this evening, I strongly suggest that you be on your way," he says firmly as he hands me back my license and registration.

"Yes, Officer, we're on our way to dinner in Port Angeles. We just stopped here to see the stars," I squeak.

Yes, I squeaked…apparently I am now going through puberty. Christ!

"Well, see that you make it there safely," he warns. I can hear his thoughts very clearly now…apparently puberty is complete and I'm back to being a vampire.

Huh! The officer is recalling in vivid detail, a time when he was sitting in this same spot in his own car. In his mind I clearly see him sitting in a 1982 powder blue Camaro with all the extras, which for him included a leggy blonde and a six pack of Saint Paulie Girl.

"Thank you, Officer," I say, suppressing a grin. I barely manage not to throw in a wink for good measure as I climb back into the car, start the ignition, and pop the gear into reverse. He stops in his tracks and comes back to the window. I press the button and it winds back down slowly.

"Yes Sir?" I ask, though I know what he is going to say.

"And son…have that rearview window checked out…its dangling by the wire and it's cracked. I'm not going to write you up for it this time as long as you promise to have it fixed immediately," he warns.

"Yes Sir," I say thanking him for his leniency.

He starts to walk away and then turns back around and leans his head back in. I let out a groan.

"Oh, and Bella?" he says as she turns to look at him for the first time. I hear her let out a gasp of surprise.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to say a word about this to Charlie," he laughs as he takes off back to his cruiser.

Oh shit…this is going to be bad.

"You are going to die…I haven't decided how, or when it will happen, but trust me it _will_ happen. The minute we get home I am going to use your fancy laptop and Google the recipe on how to successfully kill a vampire. And then I am going to follow it…very carefully. I don't know how it will _begin_ but I do know how it's going to _end_…and its going to involve a flick of a Bic, a roaring fire, and then…_**pouf!" **_she says darkly.

I look over at her nervously to see if she is teasing.

She's not.

Oh…crap!

BPOV

Edward heads back on the highway and proceeds, with caution, to Port Angles. I can tell by his posture he is a nervous wreck. Whenever he gets this way he sits up straight and has his shoulders squared. Right now he is sitting up so tall that I'm afraid his head is going to pop through the roof. I roll my eyes back in my head and chuckle. I cannot believe my luck…the first time in my life I attempt to go parking with my boyfriend, and I manage to get caught by one of my father's fellow officers: Joe Stanley. Joe is Jessica's uncle; he's caught her and Mike making out in various points of interest all over the Olympic Forest. I sigh…he did promise he wouldn't tell Charlie, so at least I should at least be spared that embarrassment. I chuckle again in spite of myself at the irony of the situation. At the sound of my laugh, Edward whips his head to the side and looks at me.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asks ruefully.

"Definitely," I say not meaning it at all.

He lets out a sigh of relief at my tone.

"It was pretty funny. You should have seen your face! And what the hell was up with your voice…you sounded like a thirteen year old girl!" I laugh out loud.

He looks at me and smirks, "I have no idea…"

"How is it possible that you didn't hear him or his thoughts before he pulled up and rapped on your window? Some vampire you turned out to be! I cannot WAIT to tell Rosalie this one…oh, my GOD…she is going to have a field day!"

"I have no…"

"Idea…" I complete his sentence for him.

I take his hand in mine and squeeze it hard. The poor guy…he looked like he wanted to die when Joe read him the riot act. Honestly, even though I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life, it was so sweet to see how flustered my normally self assured vampire became. I swear it made me love him all the more!

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved," I say to him in mock exasperation.

"So it would appear," he groans. "Yet another thing I'm going to have to ask Carlisle about.

"I have a theory," I say, trying to form the words around my thoughts.

"And what would that be, pray tell?" he asks, raising his brow as he pulls the Vanquish into a parking space in front of Bella Italia. Huh! He sure is a sneaky little vamp…I hadn't even noticed we were off the highway, let alone at the restaurant!

"I'll tell you inside," I say grabbing my jacket and purse. He nods his head, hops out, and is over to my door so fast that my eyes can barely process it.

"So now you decide to be a vampire," I say. "Aren't you afraid someone saw you?"

"Bella, you didn't even see me get out of the car. I sincerely doubt anyone else did. Besides, I looked around before I got out. Don't worry, my identity is safe," he assures me as he helps me out of the car.

We walk into the restaurant and are seated right away, even though it's packed. Edward must have called for reservations.

"Just follow me," giggles the blonde hostess. I don't know what is jiggling more…her gigantic tits or her curvaceous ass. She swishes her long hair off of her shoulder and gives Edward a meaningful look. Nope…ole Vamp-Man must have put the dazzle on her. With him reservations are neither recommended nor required. I roll my eyes back into my head willing myself not to feel jealous. If I am going to be married to Mr. Razzle Dazzle then I'd better get used to the adoration of the bimbo brigade. I bet her name is Bambi…

She seats us at the same table that we sat in the first time we came here. Tonight there is a long stem red rose lying on the table. I look up surprised…apparently he DID make reservations! I pick up the rose, sniff it, then lean over and give him a little kiss.

"Thank you," I say with a smile.

"You're very welcome," he smiles back, giving me another small kiss.

"I hope you have a wonderful evening, Mr. Cullen," she drones as she rolls her eyes at our kiss. "If you need anything at all, just ask for me. My name is Brandee…two E's no Y," she says with a wink. "Your server will be with you in a moment," she says as she saunters off shaking her booty.

Brandee…two E's no Y…what a skank. I shake my head as I open my menu and sigh.

"What's wrong now?" Edward asks me.

"Nothing's wrong…" I mutter. "Two E's no Y…" I mimic in a sickening saccharine voice. Edward laughs as he opens his menu and reminds me that he only has eyes for me.

"So…what'll it be tonight? Sautéed Mountain Lion or pan fried Grizzly?" I ask playfully.

"Hmmm…" he says considering. "The Mountain Lion… definitely. Though it appears they are out of it tonight," he jokes back. "How about you, are you having the Mushroom Ravioli this evening?" he asks remembering my order from our first time here.

"No, tonight I am going to have the Steak ala Mama," I inform him

"Really? I have never known you to eat steak," he says surprised.

"Well, I'm going to eat it tonight…rare. I figure I'd better start prepping the old taste buds for my new diet." He laughs and tells me he's going to order the mushroom ravioli just to be on the safe side.

The waitress arrives, fills our water glasses and takes our orders. I notice that she runs her finger along Edward's hand as he gives her his menu.

"I'll be right back with your drinks and breadsticks," she purrs. "By the way…my name is Bambi…"

Badda Bing…

I swear my life really has turned into a Lifetime Original Movie of the week. I don't even want to think who would play me in this story. Probably some unknown actress who needs to make a car payment…

"So, what was your theory?" he asks interrupting my casting call.

"Huh?"

"Your theory about why I didn't hear Officer Stanley before he so inconveniently interrupted us. By the way…I plan on making that up to you as soon as we get home," he says with a seductive smile.

Oh crap…I KNEW I should have put some panties on! He gives my leg a little squeeze and runs his finger under my knee. I let out a little whimper and a shiver.

"Your theory?" he prompts for the third time as he gives my leg one more squeeze and sits up straight in his chair. I can tell he wants to play…what is with him tonight anyway? He is not one for overt public displays of affection…first the highway and now this. Sheesh! I wonder how he's going to be able to conduct himself properly at school…

"Umm… I think maybe it has something to do with me," I say carefully.

"With you, what do you mean?" he asks in wonder.

"Well, remember when you heard my thoughts yesterday when I thought Laurent was going to kill me?" He nods his head gravely.

"Well, tonight I had the same weird feeling come over me like I did yesterday. I dunno…it was a little different…but the same. I don't know how to explain it really… It was like we were in a little bubble or something. I know…it sounds dumb…" I finish off awkwardly.

He looks at me in astonishment.

"I've felt like I was in that bubble with you all weekend. Bella…I…I think…that this may be your gift…" he says leaning down and lifting my hand to his mouth.

"What do you mean, 'my gift?' You mean like Alice sees the future?" I ask, feeling strangely excited.

"Yes. Most all of us seem to bring something from our human lives with us. With you…I'm not certain. But I have always thought it was bizarre that I have never been able to read your thoughts. It's almost as if you have some sort of shield over yourself," he muses.

"Well, ordinarily I am a very private person. I've been that way all my life…till I met you,"

"I've been the same way my entire vampire existence, so I know exactly how you feel," he says understandingly.

"Yeah…but I think you're really starting to change,"

"How do you mean?"

"Well…some of your language…I noticed you said 'yeah' a few times and 'um.' And then you seem more flustered at times. I dunno…you seem less formal and more relaxed," I stress.

"Is that a bad thing?" he asks concerned.

"No, it's not a bad thing…just different." I break off a piece of breadstick and pop it into my mouth. I look up to find him staring at my mouth. Hmmm…interesting. I decide to see his reaction to me taking a sip of Coke from my straw. I hear his breath hitch ever so slightly and note that his mouth is open, just a bit.

Oooh…time for naughty Bella to have a little playtime!

I take off my ballet flat and bring my foot carefully up and place it against the crotch of his jeans. Then I press it hard and curl my toes as tightly as I can around his bulge.

"Shit!" he yells out as he grasps the table hard and knocks his Coke into his lap.

Ever hear the expression you can hear a pin drop?

Every patron in the joint is looking at us. A few are even laughing.

Bambi the bimbo comes running over to him, a wet rag in her hand.

"Oh my goodness," she says giving me the stink eye. "Did she knock your Coke into your lap? Here just let me get that for you," she says as she attempts to mop up his wet crotch.

Oh…I don't think so, you skanky slut…

"I've got it," I state to her firmly. I am sure there must be fire in my eyes at this point. I grab the rag from her hands and tell Edward to go into the men's room. He excuses himself and leaves Bimbi (yeah, she has a new nickname compliments of yours truly) and me at the table. Bimbi woman is mopping up his seat with some napkins.

"Your boyfriend sure is dreamy," she says longingly.

"Fiancé," I snap. Take that, you slore!

"Oh," she says looking surprised. "I didn't realize you were engaged. Is that your ring?" she asks looking at my hand. I nod my head, realizing it's the first time I have told anyone that I am engaged. She is the first person, besides Edward, who has seen me wearing his ring. It makes me feel warm inside.

"Its sooo beautiful," she gasps. "Is it an antique?"

"Yes…it was his moth…I mean, it's a family heirloom," I say, silently correcting myself.

"You're so lucky. My fiancé is over in Afghanistan…he's a Marine," she says proudly. "He didn't have the money to get me a ring when he left, but as soon as he comes back we're going to Jared's," she says with a wink.

My eyes start to fill with tears at the thought of her fiancé fighting for our country. It makes me think of Edward and how he had wanted to do the same.

"When does he return?" I ask. I feel ashamed at myself now for calling her a slut/whore among other choice words in my head.

"Not until after Christmas. He's really handsome too. Would you like to see his picture?" She leans over, pulling out a small heart shaped locket. She removes it from her head and opens the clasp almost reverently as she hands it to me. I look at it and smile. On one side is a picture of them both, their arms wrapped around each other as they gaze into each other's eyes smiling. His hair is a wild mop of bronze curls. I shake my head smiling. No wonder she was flirting with Edward. The other side of the locket is a picture of him as a Marine…his hair shorn and covered with a white hat.

"Jennifer…their order's up," a cute busboy informs her. I hand her the locket back and she slips it over her head.

"Jennifer? I thought you said your name was Bambi."

"That's just a nickname that Matt, my fiancé, gave me. He used to tend bar here every summer while he was in college. We both went to UDUB. He always told me I had big doe eyes, so he started calling me Bambi…it kind of stuck," she says sheepishly.

"Well, I'd better go get your order," she says as she heads towards the kitchen.

Edward returns just as she leaves; he sits down in front of me and smirks.

"Sorry I made you knock over your soda," I say playfully.

"You're just lucky I didn't knock over the table," he says, placing a fresh napkin over his crotch. It's still damp. I smirk.

Before we have a chance to talk further, Jennifer/Bambi arrives with our food. She is friendly and chatty with me as she fills our drinks and makes certain my steak is done to my liking. She asks me who styles my hair, and where I go to school. Before she leaves she tells me one more time how beautiful my ring is as she lets out a big sigh. Edward looks at me puzzled.

"What was that all about? When I left the table I thought for certain there was going to be a catfight, and when I come back you two are the best of friends," he says.

"Matt happened," I say sadly.

"Who on earth is Matt?" He looks over at Jennifer/Bambi and then back at me. "Ah…her fiancé. He's over in Afghanistan, correct?"

I nod my head, cut into my steak, and take a small bite. It is surprisingly delicious. But I think about Jennifer's fiancé, and my eyes prick again with tears. I manage to stave them off but one small tear escapes and trickles down my nose. I wipe it discreetly with my napkin, pretending to cough into the white folds.

"What is it, Love?" he asks gently as he removes my napkin and traces the path my tear made down to my chin. I look down at my lap, and he raises my chin with his finger and looks into my eyes.

I look at him and smile and shake my head a little.

"It's nothing really…it just makes me realize how lucky we are…how lucky I am…to have you. Her fiancé is over fighting in the war, and he couldn't even afford to buy her a ring before he left. I feel so sad for her. What if something bad happens to him over there? And when she told me about him it made me think of you and how you almost went to war…I just…it's…well…I just love you so much," I trail off awkwardly.

"I love you too, Bella, so much. And for what it's worth…I also feel very lucky. You know how long I waited for you…" I nod my head lightly.

"I have an idea. Why don't we leave her a really big tip so they can buy their ring together when he returns?"

I look at him in shock.

"How much of a tip could you possibly leave her that they could afford to buy a ring?" I ask in amazement.

"Umm…I was thinking along the lines of about five thousand…" he says looking at me for my opinion.

"FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!"

Pin drop.

He shakes his head and laughs as he spears a piece of ravioli and pops it in his mouth. I watch him swallow it carefully as his face grimaces. He wipes his mouth carefully and looks at me.

"Too much, or too little?"

Is he serious?

He is.

"I don't know… five thousand dollars is a LOT of money, Edward. Exactly how much cash do you carry anyway?"

"I usually have anywhere between five and ten thousand in my wallet when I go out. At school I keep a few hundred. I don't want to be ostentatious."

I look at the handsome man before me. He is positively the most beautiful man in the restaurant or in Port Angeles even. Hell, he is the most gorgeous guy in the state of Washington, I am certain. He is dressed impeccably in dark wash jeans that no doubt cost more than what Charlie earns in a week. His blue oxford shirt reeks of class, and his cashmere sweater must have cost a small fortune. Yet, even for all that…even with his shiny Volvo and his sleek Aston Martin…he isn't ostentatious. He is understated and elegant…always. And in addition to his good looks, his expensive cars, and his extraordinary talents…he is gifted with the most generous heart of anyone I have ever known. And the best part of all is that he is totally unaware of it. My heart melts for this man…_melts_ I tell you!

"Edward," I say carefully selecting my words. "That's a lot of money. I don't think you should leave her that as a tip, it might embarrass her. Why don't we put it in an envelope and you can sneak it into her car with a little note. She doesn't have to know it came from you."

"Us," he corrects me quietly. "It's a gift from us…" I nod my head after a moment, realizing for the first time that even though we have yet to take our vows formally we are already united in his eyes. I let out a sigh…

"I have an idea," he says. "Our family has a foundation called 'The Pacific Northwest Trust.' I will arrange for her to receive a grant as the future wife of one our brave soldiers. Now, if that's okay with you, can we enjoy the rest of our night free of tears?"

I nod my head happily and eat my steak. It is so tender and juicy. I put some sour cream on my baked potato and eat that as well. I am not a big eater as a rule, but for some reason I devour everything. I'm thinking all the shemexin I've had this weekend must have really increased my appetite!

We sit there for a long time, talking and laughing about the past few days. It still doesn't seem real to us that only three days have passed since my birthday. We also talk about his family coming home tomorrow and how that will be for us. He reminds me that vampires have extremely good hearing. I tell him that he can forget about tearing up the gold bed with me when they're home, but he only laughs and says that it'll serve them right. He had to endure listening to them tearing up entire houses as they frolicked with their respective mates for many years. Payback time…

We finish our meal, and Edward pays the bill then excuses himself. When he returns, he informs me that he has spoken to the manager about Jennifer, telling him that she and her fiancé were the recipients of a grant that awards gifts to assist couples who are separated due to the war. He asked for anonymity and discretion. The manager assured him with a smile that he would comply with Edward's wishes. Apparently he is Matt's older brother!

We leave the restaurant giddy with happiness. It feels so unbelievably good to do something special for a total stranger. I have never been able to do this sort of thing before, and for the first time I am appreciative about the prospects of having money AND a generous fiancé. I look forward to playing the role of secret benefactor a LOT once we are married.

Edward opens the door of the Vanquish, and I climb in. As soon as he is seated, I reach over to him, grab him by the collar, and bring his face to mine. I kiss him hard and deeply.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," I say kissing him again, softer this time.

"Movie?" he murmurs against my lips. I kiss him again…this time on his cheeks, then his nose, and finally his eyelids. He sighs contentedly and presses his forehead on mine.

"Let's go home," I breathe.

"Thank God," he says. "I didn't want to see that movie anyway. That director is over-rated…"

He swings the car out of the lot and we head for home.

Home…

EPOV

I drive at break neck speed back to my home in Forks. I am so damn happy that Bella decided to forego the movie. I find that I cannot contain the joy and the rapture I feel for this lovely girl. When we enter the house she gasps, exclaiming what a good job I've done in restoring the downstairs to its former glory. Though it was merely a simple task for me to remove the coverings from the furniture and set it right, it is a big deal for her. She tells me that she is going to take a shower, and I ask her if she would like me to start a fire in the living room. She agrees happily and heads upstairs.

I go out back and collect the wood from the pile that Emmett insists on maintaining even though we rarely use the fireplace unless we have visitors or Esme wants a little ambiance to warm up the room. I am struck by how different I am since I was here on Friday. The last time I was here I had been so uncertain. Bella was in the house showering just as she is now, only we hadn't made love yet for the first time. This is where it all began… I had found Emmett's wonderful letter…the one where he'd shared his personal story, told me he'd taken care of Victoria, and called me the stupidest man he knew. I grin remembering his post script that informed me that Rose had made an appointment to have the stick removed from my ass. Hopefully that stick has been removed…permanently.

I return to the house and light the fire. It doesn't take long for it to light; Emmett keeps his woodpile well covered so the logs are nice and dry. I go around and light some candles that are on the mantle as well a few that are sitting on the occasional tables on either side of the sofa. There is a large bear skin rug in front of the fireplace, compliments of a successful hunt and Emmett's skills with preserving the skin. I cast a longing glance at my poor piano…I've treasured that since my childhood. Yes…it had come from my human boyhood home in Chicago…the same one that I played while composing lullabies for Lottie. So many memories… I resolve that I will have it completely refurbished regardless of the cost. To me, it is priceless.

Unable to render sound from the ivory keys, I go over to the entertainment system and select some music. Bella loves Claire De Lune, so I choose some classical music that is both soft and romantic. I think she will find it pleasing…

I hear her coming down the steps and I look up and gasp. She is wearing a simple white cotton gown that is sleeveless and is trimmed with blue satin ribbons. She looks like an angel…

"Do you like it?" she asks as she twirls in a circle in front of the fire. I have never seen anything as lovely as she is in this moment. Never… Her long dark hair flows over her white shoulders and cascades down her back. Her cheeks are rosy and warm from her bath, and the room fills with the intoxicating scent of strawberries and freesia.

"Bella, you take my breath away," I say as I walk towards her and wrap her in my arms. Oh Jesus, she smells so good…

"My mother bought this gown for me before I left Phoenix…I've never worn it before…I don't know why I packed it…" she says shyly looking up into my eyes.

"It's beautiful," I say. "_You're_ beautiful," I correct myself. And she is…the most beautiful creature I have ever seen or will ever see. I can't suppress the urge to kiss her any longer…

Our kiss starts off slow…but it is filled with love and the promise of more. So much more…

We stand there for a moment, just kissing each other softly, swaying to the music that fills the room. It is a perfect moment…it is a perfect night.

Our kisses become less soft, though there is nothing frantic about them. They simply smolder, then flame, the desire for more builds and finally consumes us both.

I lower her to the floor and remove her gown and my clothing…slowly…oh so slowly…kissing her reverently where each garment had covered her satiny skin.

I lay her down on the rug and continue kissing her…first her face, then her collarbones, and finally her breasts. I capture a rosy tip in my mouth and suck on it gently. I am still amazed that I am able to do this without harming her. I was always so afraid that I would lose control and accidently pierce her with my razor sharp teeth. But for some glorious reason that I am completely and blissfully ignorant of, I am able to love Bella in every way…both emotionally and physically. And I feel no bloodlust …my throat hardly burns at all, though I know I need to hunt soon.

I lower my mouth to her abdomen and kiss her tenderly. I smell her arousal and feel my own throbbing with need. I suck softly on her belly button and she gasps as she reaches for my hair and tugs it hard. I love it when she does that.

The scent of her arousal is almost overwhelming…I want to…taste it. Thus far we have never indulged in this particular fantasy…but oh, I want to…

My face trails kisses down her soft belly and to her thighs. I lift her leg gently and move it over my shoulder as I kiss her inner thigh. I pause momentarily as the whoosh of her precious blood flows loudly through the artery in her thigh. The fragrance of her arousal and the nearness of this vital blood source threaten to overwhelm me. And then her sweet sounds break the spell and allow me to cage the monster.

"Edward…ooohhhh….Ummm…"

Encouraged, I put my mouth gently on her center and kiss it softly. Her legs begin to shake, and I murmur to her to keep still, that I want to love her with my mouth. She lets out a long throaty groan in response.

I lick her folds lightly and then with eagerness. Oh, dear Lord…I never knew how utterly sensual this experience could be. Even though I've seen my share of erotic images of this particular act, and heard my brothers, and unfortunately my sisters, discuss the delights of oral sex, nothing could have prepared me for my own pleasure. I lick her delicately, ever mindful of my teeth, and proceed to suck gently on her tiny nub.

"Unghhhh…mmm… Oh…Edwaaaard…" she moans, as I continue to lathe and suckle. I plunge a finger, and then two, into her depths as I continue to lick, suck, and stroke her with my mouth and tongue. Mmmmm... Suddenly, she arches back and lets out a growl that ends in a moan. Christ, what a sound…she's going to make a stellar vampire one day! I look up and see her beautiful face as she reaches her climax. It is the sexiest and most beautiful sight I have ever witnessed in all of my existence.

"Was it good, love?" I ask as I climb back up her torso and give her a kiss.

"Mmmm hmmm…" she says returning my kiss.

"See, you taste so good…" I say against her mouth as I give her another kiss.

"Not as good as you," she says in return.

"Liar…"

She laughs softly.

"Edward…Make love to me…Make me yours…" she says as she moves her mouth to my ear.

"I would love to do nothing more than make love to you, Bella…but you're too sore. Besides…I wanted tonight to be about you, sweetheart." And I mean every word, despite the fact that my cock is so hard that it is almost painful.

"Are you sure?" she asks somewhat regretfully. "At least let me take care of you…" I shake my head and smile into her neck…she is always so generous with her love and affections.

"Tomorrow," I say "…after you've had a goodnight's rest."

"But your family will be home tomorrow…" she protests.

"I'll wake you up early then," I say nudging her with my nose.

"Promise?"

"I promise…"

We lay there for another hour, wrapping ourselves in the softness of the rug and kissing each other as we talk about our weekend and our future. Finally, she is yawning and struggling to stay awake. I hum her lullaby into her ear, and she is soon fast asleep in my arms. I pick up her nightie and fling it over my shoulder as I scoop her up gently and carry her up the stairs to our room and to our bed. I carefully slide the gown over her head and tuck her in for the night, giving her one last kiss and telling her how much I adore her, love her, need her…

"Love you too, Tedward…" she mumbles into the pillow.

_Tedward_…apparently she has morphed my human past into my vampire present. Tedward…I chuckle. I like that.

I go back downstairs and douse the fire that is now no more than a few smoldering embers. I blow out the candles and head back upstairs. My angel is sound asleep and I can hear her snore softly from our golden bed. I pick up a book and settle down to read…it is a Sherlock Holmes mystery and believe it or not, it is one that I have never read.

"Mmmm…Edward…"

I look over to the bed and note that she is still sleeping…it is now going on six am. I head over to the bed and slide into the covers, after removing my sweat pants. I have been listening to her moan half the night…I simply cannot take it anymore!

"Oh…yes…mmm…God, that's good…so…good…"

I grin into the darkness and press my erection a few times against her soft white bottom.

"Knock, knock," I say softly, testing to see if she's awake. There is a long silence…and then finally I hear her say softly.

"Who's there?"

_"Mr. Masen_," I say with a little laugh as I kiss her shoulders and neck softly.

"Come on in," she says with a smile in her voice as she rolls over to face me.

I kiss her gently, position myself at her entrance, and Mr. Masen slides right in.

"Welcome home…" she moans as she wraps her legs around my waist.

And for the first time in all of my existence I am home.

Mmmm…home sweet home…

_One hour later_

"Jesus, did you get a _whiff _of THAT?"

**BOOM!**

Bella and I sit up in bed, frantically trying to cover ourselves.

"Oh, my EYES!" Emmett shrieks as he sticks his big head into my room.

They're back…

My back feels the heat from Bella's blush and the angry tension of her body.

Oh, fuck.

I let out a loud groan and bury my face into the pillow. Let the good times begin.


	20. Chapter 20: The Honeymoon's Over!

**A big thank you to coleen561 for editing this super long chapter!**

Chapter 20

The Honeymoon's over

BPOV

"_Oh… my EYES!"_

I look up, startled to see Emmett's dimpled face. It is a mixture of disbelief and happiness. Before I get a chance to respond, I hear a growl from under the bed clothes as Edward struggles to put on his boxers.

"Get OUT!" Edward's command is so loud that it echoes through the room and into the hallway where Emmett stands grinning, perched against the doorframe.

"Uh-uh…no freaking WAY…this is TOO good!" laughs Emmett as he barges into our room. He stands next to our bed peering down on us with the biggest and stupidest grin I have ever seen on anyone, man or vampire.

"Sooooo…what have you two been up to anyway?" he asks conversationally. "WAIT…nope…don't answer that!"

His smirk is completely ridiculous and contagious. I find myself starting to chuckle, which causes Edward to snarl. This reaction causes Emmett to giggle like a thirteen year old girl, which causes Edward to make a sound that is somewhere between a choke and a growl. This causes me to snort…loudly. And then suddenly the three of us break into peals of laughter. Edward is downright cackling…he has never sounded more like a seventeen year old boy than he does in this very moment.

"So…DETAILS?" he asks his brother. Edward shakes his head curtly; indicating without words that our sex life is not up for discussion. Undaunted, Emmett verbally attacks Edward by repeating in an annoying whine, "Tell me, tell me, TELL ME!" Emmett continues to shout as he yanks Edward out of bed and begins to pummel him in the way brothers always do…vampires notwithstanding. I take this time to wrap myself like a mummy in the sheets, and sit back and watch these two idiots go at it. Edward is quick as lightening, but he is no match for Emmett's strength. Emmett soon has him in a choke hold and Edward laughingly cries, "UNCLE!"

Emmett's reaction to his brother's mirth causes him to stop mid laugh. He releases his half nelson and looks down at Edward, who looks up at Emmett and continues to chuckle. Emmett seems perplexed. He shakes his head as if confused.

"Who are you and what have you done to my brother?" he asks with a raised brow. This cracks me up and I collapse further into the bedding, laughing.

Emmett leans over, grabs Edward's face, and makes him look into his eyes. "So was it worth the wait?" he asks suggestively.

Edward pushes Emmett's hands away, climbs back on the bed, folds the bedclothes even more tightly around me (afraid to give his brother a free show, apparently), and gives Emmett a big grin.

Emmett raises one sinister looking eyebrow at him, and shockingly, my once shy and oh-so- prudish vampire, waggles his eyebrows at him in response. The look of surprise on Emmett's face gives way to delight and the next thing you know this giant bear of a man springs up and does a little happy dance right in the middle of our bedroom. Even though my face is blushing like an overripe tomato, I am completely enchanted by the love and pride I feel between these two brothers. Emmett is absolutely ELATED for Edward…and my heart pangs when I recall the part he played in bringing us back together.

"_Wait_ _a minute_…how is it that you didn't hear me coming, anyway?" he suddenly asks mid jig. His dance comes to a grinding halt. Edward looks over at me for guidance. I shake my head softly and give him a small smile and a little shrug. I don't want to impose my theories on what is happening to Edward's mind reading just yet. I really want us to be able to sit down with Carlisle first and have a meaningful discussion.

"Ummm… I'm not sure," Edward finally responds hesitantly, traces of laughter still in his voice.

"You're not _sure?_" Emmett gives his brother a hard look and then looks back over to me expecting a reply. I shrug again.

"It seems to come and go," I reply casually. "No big deal…"

Emmett looks at me like I just announced that I was knocked up.

"_No_ big DEAL! What are you…._no big deal_…REALLY? This is HUGE!" Emmett runs to the door, sticks his head out and yells, "Carlisle… come QUICK! And bring your bag! Bella _broke_ Edward!"

This causes a big reaction out of Edward.

"Jesus Christ, for the _love of all that is holy_… Emmett…calm down! Nobody broke anything… Now go make yourself useful and get my sweats from the bathroom and Bella's jammies too," he commands.

"Her _jammies?_"Emmett murmurs, shaking his head as he heads to the bathroom. "Pussy whipped…" Edward picks up a nearby shoe and throws it hard, smacking Emmett in the back the head.

"Ow," Emmett deadpans without missing a beat.

I laugh and Edward turns to me shaking his head and rolling his eyes."Sorry, Love. Are you okay?" he asks worriedly. I nod my head happily and give him a small reassuring kiss.

Emmett returns with the clothing before I can blink an eye.

"Hey, I was only kidding; they're not back yet. I got here with Rosie a few minutes ago. We took the jeep and she's in the garage checking the fluids…you know how anal she is about maintenance. Carlisle and Esme should be back in an hour with Alice. They stopped off for a quick hunt."

Emmett hands us our clothing and has the decency to turn around as we dress quickly. As I am throwing my top over my head Edward takes a second to give me a quick kiss and whispers in my ear that he's sorry. I give him a little reassuring hug.

"Are you decent yet?" jokes Emmett as he turns back to face us with a grin. He unexpectedly climbs up on the bed and faces us.

"Hey….you're NOT kidding me…you really can't hear my thoughts, can you?" he asks in disbelief.

Edward sighs. "No, Em…I can hear your thoughts just fine now. In fact I can even hear Rosalie in the garage. It's only sometimes…like when Bella and I are…er….absorbed…that I seem to have trouble paying attention to outside noises."

Emmett face is serious as he looks to me for confirmation. I nod my head to show that he is being serious.

"Well…this is an interesting development…hmmm…yes….a VERY interesting development," he says thoughtfully as he proceeds to scratch his chin. "Just THINK of the possibilities….hmmm," he drifts off.

"Pfft! don't get carried away, Em…I'm quite certain I'll still be able to kick your ass admirably in both chess AND pool," Edward assures him with a smile.

Emmett cocks his head at me and whispers, "Uh, Bella…did he just say he was going to 'kick my ass?'…did I hear him correctly?" he asks stunned.

I nod my head. "Prep yourself Emmett…there's a new vamp in town and he says dirty words, and things like 'yeah' and 'umm' and 'hmm'…and EVERYTHING."

Edward laughs in embarrassment. "Ummm….I'm sitting right here," he attempts to remind us. "Fuck!" he mutters as he realizes he just proved my point.

"See…I TOLD you," I laugh to Emmett. Emmett returns my laugh at first but then his face grows serious. He leans over towards me in contemplation. Then, in a surprisingly gentle move, he takes my face in his hands, giving me a small kiss on top of my head and pulling me into his arms for a big hug. "Thank you Bella," he whispers into my ear softly. My eyes flood with tears.

"No, Emmett,…thank _you,_" I whisper back returning his hug. As soon as I am able to get him alone I plan on telling him just how much his intervention with Edward meant. I need to thank him for taking care of Victoria…if it had not been for Emmett, I would not even be alive.

"Yeah, yeah…" he says as he pats my back awkwardly.

"Love you, Em" I surprise myself by mumbling my words into his shoulder.

He looks at me in delight and a crooked smile that is so like his brother's spreads across his face. (How have I never noticed that before?) "Right back atcha kid," he laughs, giving me a noogie on the top of my head. He crawls back to his spot on the edge of the bed.

I look over at Edward happily; he smiles broadly, and then gives me a little wink.

"**Ahem!" **a distinctly feminine, yet slightly acerbic, voice interrupts our heartfelt moment.

"Okaaay…this Hallmark card moment is officially over! _Jesus Christ_…open some windows will you? … this house is REEKING with SEX…Esme is going to have a fit!" Rosalie is at the door, grinning broadly. I duck my head into Edward's shoulder with a groan.

"Well _done,_ Bella. I see you were smart enough to take my advice, hmm?" she says to me with a wink. My face is so hot you could fry an egg on it… gah!

"Uh-huh…that's what I thought. And I've really got to hand it to you…both Alice and I thought it would take you a LOT longer than a weekend to do it...wiping out a hundred years worth of virginity in one weekend …that's quite an accomplishment. " She cups her hands around her mouth and whispers sotto voce… "I'll expect full details later, okay bitch?" she finishes with a laugh.

I look up and nod my head weakly. Now it is Edward who groans in embarrassment. Rosalie and I both laugh. She gives me a thoughtful look, and a feeling of warmth comes over me. I realize that against all odds, Rosalie Hale is now one of my very best friends. My eyes water just a bit…she is also going to be my sister-in-law! She chucks her chin up at me, gives me a grin and looks over at Emmett.

"Emmett, get your tail out of here and let these two love birds have a few moments of privacy before the rest of the family gets home. I'm sure they need to put the fire out."

"What fire, babe?" Emmett asks, confused. "I don't smell any fire," he says looking around the room anxiously.

Rose gives him a hard look, rolls her eyes, and pats him on the head. "I was talking about the one in their pants, you dolt." Emmett looks at her and grins broadly, finally catching on. I swear he is more naive than me…and this makes me love him all the more. If I was allowed to chose the perfect guy to be my big brother his name would be Emmett McCarty. I LOVE this big goof!

Emmett gives Rosalie a once over and inhales the air deeply. A look of pure lust crosses his face and his golden eyes turn jet black.

"Yeaaahhhh…there _is_ a fire in this room...and the fumes are _really_ getting to me…you're right, babe. Let's go grab my special fire hose and extinguish those nasty, dirty, flames…kaaay?" he suggests hopefully.

Rose lets out a chuckle and walks over to the bed, gives Emmett a hand, and he hops off the bed. He stands next to her with a hopeful look on his face, and she leans in and gives him a quick kiss. They start to walk out the door, but she stops in her tracks and returns to the bed. Then she leans over and gives Edward a brief hug and whispers something in his ear that I can't quite hear, but I know that whatever she said makes him smile. He pulls her back for a bigger hug and says something softly back to her. When she leans back I notice that her eyes are a little glassy. She tugs his hair and ruffles it playfully. He looks up, smiling at her shyly through his lashes. I feel my heart squeeze…what a sweet and intimate moment. Aw!

"Okay… let's go play fireman, Emmett," she says seductively.

"At your service, Ma'am," he responds in a raspy voice. He scoops Rose up and proceeds to march out the door. Rosalie actually lets out a little squeak and then a purr. Huh! This oughta be interesting….

"We'll see you two down stairs in a little bit…and for God's sakes…OPEN the God damn windows before the others get back. The way you've got this house smelling, it might take weeks to pry Carlisle off of Esme…you know how he IS. Besides, I would like a chance to actually see Bella and have a conversation BEFORE school tomorrow. Jesus!" And with that she takes off giggling with Emmett down the stairs. I hear a loud crash, a long moan, and then thump-thump-thump….Ewww!

Edward turns to me and sighs.

"This is what I have had to put up with for the past 70 odd years," he groans. I laugh in response and give him a hug. He reaches for me and pulls me tighter into his arms, his lips searching for mine. I gasp into his mouth as the passion begins to consume us both.

**BAM! **A crashing noise is heard from just outside of Edward's room.

"_MMM…..Oh, God…that's good…ooohhhh….." _

Edward's lips freeze on mine. Apparently Rosalie and Emmett are praying…

"_Ooohhhh….Jesus…Ahhh… oh, that's it, baby…aim your hose right here…."_

I roll my eyes and chuckle. Edward lets out a little groan.

"Shower?" he murmurs against my lips.

"Yeah…hurry up before they reach the pearly gates," I laugh as he pulls me up and carries me to the bathroom. I sigh…how am I ever going to shower without him again?

Once inside the bathroom, Edward sets me down and turns on the shower. We undress each other slowly, and enter the massive and marbled shower suite. Edward adjusts the dual shower heads, and the water cascades over us; it's perfect and meltingly warm.

He stands behind me while the water drenches me from my scalp to my toes, and it feels so good…so inviting. _But his lips_… oh…his lips feel cool against my heated flesh as he kisses his way down my spine. I squeal when his icy hands squeeze my bottom.

"Edward! I thought we were taking a shower to get clean…Sheesh…Rose and Emmett are just down the hall. They can hear everything for crying out loud," I protest with a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, they can, Love. But they're too busy _fucking_ on the stairs…" he murmurs in my ear, as he turns me around. He lifts me up and wraps my legs around his waist. I let out a loud groan and a shiver as I throw my head back. I cannot believe he just said 'fucking' … God, he's so sexy!

"Besides," he says, as he kisses my neck and runs his tongue from my collarbone to the back of my ears, "We have to take advantage of stolen moments like these. The others will be back soon," he then groans as he slides his erection between my folds. Oh GOD, this feels sooo good! I feel my hesitation melt away as he grinds against me. Mmmm….

"Please, Bella….I need to be inside you…want you so bad…" he pleads hotly in my ear.

Like I'm gonna say no.

"I want you too, Edward. So much," I say as he pushes himself deep inside me. I grab hold of his hair and moan deeply into the side of his neck as his hips begin to dance slowly against my pelvis. He is thrusting so deep, and it feels achingly good. I try to muffle my sounds against his throat but they echo off the tile loudly…my mmm's and ahhh's reverberate throughout the stall. I know I should be embarrassed…but I can't seem to stop. And from the sounds of his moans, I think he is having the same reaction.

"Oh, God…Bella," He whispers, his forehead pressed against mine. "I don't want this to end…not ever…" He looks into my eyes, and I put my hand against his face, caressing it gently. He removes one of his hands from my bottom and grasps mine, pulling it away from his cheek and kissing it softly. His thrusts are slow and measured, and I find myself panting to the beat. The pressure is building and the intensity of our impending climax is near. He whimpers softly in my ear, and I feel the wetness of my arousal drip down my thighs.

"I don't want it to end either," I say with a groan. "But I'm going to come…I'm coming…" I gasp as I feel the coil in my sex begin to unravel. I close my eyes as I begin to crest…

"No…Bella…open your eyes…_look at me_…I want to see your eyes…Oh, God…I'm coming too…mmm…_so hard_…," he pants. I open my eyes and see his staring at me intently…so black and hooded, yet so full of love that my heart feels like it's going to burst. I can feel him pulsating inside me as he reaches his climax…my own orgasm flutters and contracts around him. It feels sooo good…and he's right…I don't want this to ever stop. We gasp that we love each other…mouth against mouth…our words and breaths colliding till there is only one sound…only one voice.

Still gasping, he lowers to me to the shower floor, his mouth capturing my bottom lip and sucking it into his gently, then releasing it and running his lips gently over mine. We kiss like this for many long minutes. I place soft kisses on and around his mouth. He has a small cleft on his chin, and it's just so sexy and sweet. I want to lick it, so I do. And his jaw…Oh, God…was there ever such a jaw on a man? I kiss it softly as I work my way up to his neck. I have to stand on my tippy toes to reach…

"I love you," I whisper softly in his ear. He squeezes my behind gently.

"I love you too, Bella. I…I never knew it could be like this…I was alone for so long, and I didn't even realize how lonely I was. Then you walked into my life…and into my heart."

I chuckle lightly at his words.

"Yeah…I know…I'm being…as you say… 'cheesy .' But that's me, Love, that's who I am," he confesses shyly, ducking his face into my shoulder. I take his face from my shoulder and force him to look at me.

"I know _you…_I know who you are, Edward. I feel the same way, believe me. I've always been alone too. I know it's not anywhere as long as it was for you…but I never had close friends…I never even had a boyfriend until I moved here and met you. And even though I was lonely when I lived in Phoenix…I'm so glad that I never met anyone until you. I'm so happy that you were my first…_my only_…" I admit to him feeling a little bashful.

He takes my face between his hands and presses a kiss softly on my forehead. He wraps his hands around my back and my face presses into his chest as he nuzzles my shoulder. The water washes over us, and we are enveloped within its warm and comforting mist. Other than the pelt-pelt-pelt of the water, it is completely quiet and unbelievably intimate. There is a reverence about this moment that is so compelling and so profound that my heart swells, and my eyes fill with tears.

"This..._this_ is what I meant when I said that I never want this to end, Bella. This bubble…our own little world…I know my family is coming home today. You have to go back to Charlie, and tomorrow we go back to school. But I can't let _this_ go…I don't want to…I won't let it. This weekend has meant everything to me..._everything_…." his voice trails off. I look up at him then and his face crumbles…he lets out a small sob as he presses his face back into my shoulder. My heart plummets.

"Edward, shhh… What is it, Baby…what's wrong?" I ask as I stroke the hair at his nape, trying desperately to soothe him. His face looks so young and defenseless. I suddenly realize that, of all the changes we've experienced over the long weekend, this has been the most life altering: Edward has opened his heart and revealed his vulnerabilities to me completely…and not only that, he wants…no, he NEEDS me to take care of him. I rock him gently against my chest.

"It's just…I just can't help thinking about what might have happened to you if I had left Friday morning…I could have lost you…I could have lost _everything_," he chokes out. I continue to hold him and caress his neck. I take his face and look into his eyes and tell him I love him, and he nods his head briefly. I can see his Adams apple convulse a few times as he tries to gain control over his emotions.

"Edward, we can't dwell on what might have happened. Yes…you almost made a big mistake…but you didn't. You listened to me…to my words, and instead of closing yourself off like you always did in the past, you came back to me. You talked _to me_…not _at me_. You didn't try to make decisions for us…we made them together, baby. We were already in love…but until this weekend we didn't really know what to do with all this love that we feel for each other. And now we do…we have a plan. We're getting married…you're going to change me…we have a future together. And, yes…I know it's not always going to easy. I know we're going to have arguments and maybe even fights…but I _trust you,_ Edward. I know you're not ever going to leave me. You promised me…remember?"

"Oh God, Bella…yes…I remember. I'm never going to leave you…you never have to worry about that, Love." He looks at me with such conviction that he leaves me no doubt about the sincerity of his words. I lower my head and kiss his chest, running my fingers softly through the coppery curls.

"We're strong enough to let other people into our world, Edward. We'll always have _this_…" I wave my hand between us indicating the love…the intensity that exists between us. He lifts my chin up and kisses me gently.

"Promise?" he mumbles against my lips.

"I promise, Edward. We'll find time to be alone…I know it won't always be easy, between school, our friends, and our family. But it's only for a few months and then we'll be married. I'll be your wife…" I finish off.

"_Mine_…" he growls possessively, as he pulls me even closer to his chest. "_My wife_…" he hisses loudly.

_Okay_…I almost came in my pants. (Of course, I'm not wearing any pants, but you get my drift.) I mean…_caveman Edward_? Can you blame me? Girl, PULEEZE… Damn, he is one sexy beast!

"_Yours,_" I whisper to him, pulling him close. "And you're _mine_ too…no one else's. _My husband_…" I purr. He lets out a small snarl, and I feel him grow hard as he presses his erection into my hip. I feel the passion begin to grow between us as he leans in and gives me a toe curling kiss, when suddenly…

"_**Jesus Christ**_, are you two done with this _drama _yet? You've been in there for an hour…for cripes sakes…get your asses dried off and get out here. Everyone's home now, and they're dying to see you both." Emmett's big mouth booms loudly, shattering our intimate moment and sobering us both. I look up to see Edward's lips twitch. Leave it to Emmett to add a bit of much needed levity to lighten up our emotions. We both begin to chuckle.

We'll be right out, Em!" Edward calls out with a sheepish little laugh.

"Christ…I HOPE so. If this is how it's gonna be…_ugh_…" his voice trails off disgusted.

"God…he really has got some nerve," Edward snarls, exasperated. "Remind me to tell you about the time he and Rose got caught acting out King Kong on top of the Empire State Building. Believe me…it was quite different from the original version. I imagine that poor security officer is still in Bellevue" he finishes with a laugh.

We hastily lather each other up and let the water rinse away the passion, but not the desire. There will always be that between us, of that I am certain.

"You didn't hear them come home, did you?" I tease as he shuts the water off and we hop out of the shower. He reaches for a large fluffy towel and begins to dry me off tenderly, carefully avoiding my injured arm.

"I need to redress this," he says as he removes my bandage. "We got it wet in the shower, and I don't want it to get infected." He reaches into the cabinet below the sink and retrieves an assortment of medical supplies. With a practiced hand he sprays a bit of antiseptic on the wound, and proceeds to wrap it in a bandage. And then, as has become his habit, he brings my arm to his mouth and gives it a small kiss. I look up at him, and he winks.

"There…all better," he says in a silly little voice.

"You didn't answer my question," I sing back to him playfully. "You didn't hear them come home did you?" I ask again.

"Nope…" he admits wryly.

"Huh…how's this going to work anyway? I mean, you'll be able to hear Charlie…right?"

He raises his eyebrows at me and huffs out a little sigh.

"I have no…"

"Idea…?" I finish his sentence for him.

"Right…no idea what so ever," he admits ruefully. "I guess we'll find out soon enough," he says as he gives me a kiss on the tip of my nose. "But I do know one thing. My family is downstairs waiting for us, and if we don't hurry up, Emmett is planning to kick the door down…and trust me, I have no desire to provoke him or Esme's wrath should that event occur. In addition, Alice will kidnap you for the rest of the day…and although I know she misses you, I really cannot allow that to happen," he informs me with another kiss as we head back to the bedroom.

We grab our clothes and dress quickly. I sigh…looks like the honeymoon is over. I reach for my brush, but he pulls it out of my hand.

"May I?" he asks. I nod my head lightly.

"I love brushing your hair," he confesses in a quiet voice, as he runs the brush carefully from my scalp to my waist.

"Why?" I ask, puzzled. It doesn't seem like that big a deal to me.

"For the same reason you like washing my hair, I guess. It's intimate…it makes me feel closer to you…" his voice trails off seductively. He runs his nose slowly from my jaw to my neck, placing small kisses along his trail. Mmmm…

Suddenly I feel very warm…like I've got far too many clothes on. I grab his hips and pull him closer…

"**GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!" **Emmett's voice bellows from below.

"Emmett, what have I told you about using that kind of language in our home? Honestly, you don't have to be so crass…besides…you've used that particular word at least four times since we arrived home. Now go outside and gather some wood…and for heaven's sakes try to clean up your overt use of profanity!" Esme chastises him. Emmett mutters an apology as we hear the door open and close. I can hear Alice and Rosalie chuckle in response to her words.

And on _that _note…he sets the brush down, gives me a quick kiss, takes me by the hand, and we walk out of our bedroom. We square our shoulders and let out a big sigh.

The honeymoon IS over.

For now…

EPOV

Bella and I leave the sanctuary of our bedroom and proceed to walk down the stairs where my family has gathered. It's so bizarre…they are positioned exactly as they were Thursday last…the night of Bella's birthday party. I wonder briefly if this was somehow staged…sort of a do-over. It makes me feel somewhat shy at first. But then I feel the heat from Bella's blush and a strong confidence and the need to protect her sweeps over me. I do not want my love to feel self conscious…not at all. Before we descend to the landing, I can hear my family's thoughts.

Alice's thoughts are the loudest and clearest. She knows instinctively that I am searching her mind and she gives her thoughts to me directly and without any hesitation.

_Oh, Edward…this…this is what I wished for you when I left you Thursday night. You're my brother and my best friend, Edward…if anyone deserves to be utterly and completely happy it's you. I always told you good things happen to those who wait. I promise you, Edward…you have nothing left to fear and SO much to look forward to…more than you or Bella could possibly ever imagine…_

My eyes meet and lock on hers as I smile gratefully. Even though she and I have spoken to each other on the phone this weekend, I have yet to personally express my appreciation to her and Rosalie for their intervention.

Speaking of Rosalie, I must admit that I am overwhelmed by both her thoughts and her emotions regarding the relationship that Bella and I share. Whatever happened between these two girls while I was hunting in Canada Friday morning must have been life altering. Her thoughts towards Bella were kind and…sisterly. There was a definite sense of kinship between them, and it gave me a sense of relief, as well as joy. I so want Bella to be accepted by everyone, and let's be honest…if Rosalie takes an obvious disliking to someone, we are all miserable! But even more compelling was earlier when she murmured in my ear how happy she was for me…and that she loved me. This was quite moving for me as it was the first time in our 70 odd years of living as a family that she ever uttered those words to me out loud. It made me feel warm inside, and I echoed those words back to her sincerely, with a hug and a thank you. It was the first of many thanks I need to give to each one of my family members tonight.

_I'm so happy…Oh, Edward, my boy…at LAST…you have finally come alive…_

Esme's thoughts, though incomplete, are full of love and emotion. Honestly, as happy as I am for myself that I have finally found true love, I think I am almost as happy for Esme…no biological mother could be any more delighted for her own child. Her thoughts leave me glowing, as she leaves Carlisle's side to embrace Bella. I like the fact that she reached out to hug Bella first. I sense that she already feels that Bella is her daughter, which makes me glad; it will be very hard for Bella to lose Renee, and at eighteen she still needs a mother's love.

As Bella leaves my side to be caught between the hugs of Esme and the squeals of Alice, Carlisle approaches me.

"Edward," he says as he reaches for my hand, and then changes his mind to give me a hug. "I'm so glad you've decided to stay…_so glad_," he reiterates.

"I'm happy too, Dad," I say. He raises his brows just a bit; I rarely call him anything but Carlisle, even though for all intents and purposes I have always considered him to be my father in this existence. I can tell by both his reaction, as well as his thoughts, that he is pleased. I must remember to call him this more often in the future…he has always been the best man I have ever known…if anyone deserves this form of affection it is he.

Just then Emmett returns with the wood and sets about to make a roaring fire. The girls leave and go the kitchen. I realize that even though it is only Bella who will eat in there today, it seems to be the place all women, human and vampire, love to congregate. I can hear their excited chatter as Bella shows off her engagement ring, and the conversation quickly turns to wedding plans. As thrilled as I am to be getting married, it's times like this that makes me glad to be a man. I truly don't think I could take Alice's overt enthusiasm as she waxes poetical over the joys of Irish lace and French tulle. Poor Bella…

"So, Edward," Carlisle says, as he draws the brown leather club chair closer to the fire. "Have a seat…I have many questions for you, and I am sure that you must have more than a few for me."

"Oh…_Yeah_…me too, Edward," Emmett says excitedly. "I've been _dying_ to ask…What's it like to have sex with a human, anyway? … I mean…how did you mange to pull that off? Christ, you were a hundred year old virgin for fuck's sake…all those years and years of pent up sexual tension and unleashed aggression… and then BAM! I'll bet the smell was even more intoxicating than her blood, huh? Jesus, how did you manage to ram it in her without KILLING her…hmmm?" Emmett rambles on.

Carlisle shoots him a filthy look, and I am too stunned to respond. Good Lord, he is tactless! As I prepare to launch a verbal assault on this big oaf, I hear Rosalie call him to the kitchen.

"Emmett, I need to have a word with you…_now._" Rosalie's voice is icy calm.

"Fuck! What did I do now?" He mutters as he rises at her command. I hear her muffled words, and his equally muffled "Ow" followed by an "Okay, okay…_stop pulling my ear_…I won't ask any more personal questions ….Ow! Please, babe…." He trails off, pleading.

Carlisle gives me a look and says, "Edward, perhaps we should go outside for a walk. That way we can have a little more privacy." I agree wholeheartedly and ask him to give me a moment to let Bella know that I'm stepping out for a bit. He goes out the door and waits for me on the porch.

I enter the kitchen, and Alice sings out…"Dum, Dum, Da, Dum…here comes the groom, he's skinny as a broom…" Everyone cracks up as they look at me. Bella giggles into her hands bashfully. I roll my eyes…this is going to be an awfully long nine months, that's for sure!

I go over to Bella and whisper in her hair that Carlisle has asked me to go for a walk with him. I ask her if it's okay to discuss some of the details that happened over the weekend. I do not want to have any conversation about us without her full agreement.

"I told you he was completely pussy whip… OW!" Emmett shrieks out as Rosalie stomps her leather clad boot down on his toe, hard.

"No…that's fine, baby. I'll see you in a little while then," Bella murmurs against my neck. I tip her face up and give her a soft lingering kiss.

_Baaaaby? Aww! Oh…sooooo sweet! I'll bet he's a very attentive lover…Sigh…._

Rolling my eyes at the thoughts that are emanating and reverberating in the minds of the Cullen women (not to mention the retching noises that Emmett is making in his head) I exit the room quickly.

Carlisle meets me on the steps. We don't say much as we begin to walk along the path that leads to the small bridge which spans the river on our property. Finally, we stop and he leans over the railing, pausing a moment to enjoy the feeling of sunlight on his face. The sun beams reflect off of Carlisle's face, and for a brief moment I see his true age…it's not in the form of wrinkles or saggy skin, but it is there in his expression and his eyes. He is so wise…

"Edward…I know that you have experienced many changes this weekend… I almost didn't recognize you when you came down the stairs a bit ago. You look like a completely different person altogether," he informs me in a gentle voice.

Confused, I look at him with wide eyes….No one else has mentioned that I look different…I put my hand to my face self-consciously.

"No, no…that's not precisely what I meant when I said you look different, Edward…it's your expressions, your mannerisms. You look…younger…happier…and if I am to be honest…more _human…" _he attempts to explain.

"More human!" I exclaim. "Is that even possible? I don't feel different…my heart's not beating…" I trail off awkwardly.

'"No, Edward…you and I both know that once a transformation to vampire occurs there is never a reversal. You're still a vampire, I'm sorry to say. What I should have said was that you remind me an awful lot of the young man I once knew in Chicago…oh, so many years ago. That boy…Edward Masen…_Teddy_ as your mother called you…THAT wonderful, innocent, and hopeful lad…that's who you look like now," he attempts to clarify.

I look at him in surprise and begin to tell him about the morning that I told Bella about my sister Lottie…her birth, my love for her, her death…all of it; including my emotional breakdown in which I wept in Bella's arms. I tell him with some embarrassment, that when I cried, I had shed real tears…not venom, and that according to Bella, my eyes had briefly turned green.

I finish my story and take a big breath. My eyes search his face for answers, and my mind searches his thoughts. He is silent in both thoughts and words for many long moments, and then he finally speaks.

"Edward, I know you are looking for answers to this fascinating phenomena, and believe me…I wish I could give you them. But in all honesty, I have never heard of such an occurrence in all of my existence. I'll be happy to research this for you, but I doubt there will be much information to peruse," he says somewhat regretfully. He gives my shoulder a brief squeeze. He pauses for a moment and continues.

"Edward, if I had to hazard a guess regarding you shedding real tears, I would say that they were probably residual tears that were stored in your tear ducts…you never allowed yourself to grieve properly after you lost your sister. I remember your feelings of guilt and remorse, and later your overwhelming concern for your mother's mental health and emotional well being. But son, truthfully…I never saw you cry…not once in the three years that followed Lottie's death did you weep for the sister you loved and lost," he says quietly.

I look at him in astonishment…I believe his words to be the truth…I was far too consumed with guilt and shame to allow myself to mourn. I believe I must not have felt that I should be allowed the luxury of tears…I had only myself to blame for Lottie's death. Or, so I felt at the time.

"Edward, let me ask you something," Carlisle looks at me intently.

I nod my head in acquiescence.

"When you told Bella this story, did you feel better afterwards?"

A slight bob of my head signals my assent.

"And did she comfort you…did she give you the love and support you needed to put this tragedy to rest once and for all?"

Once again, I nod my head in agreement.

"Then that's all there is to it," he says to me.

"Okay…but… what about my eyes turning green?" I ask, unwilling to let the subject drop just yet.

"I have no idea, Edward. Perhaps it was a figment of Bella's imagination. Or maybe the light hit your eyes in such a way that it made them appear to be green instead of gold. OR…maybe they DID turn green momentarily…perhaps…as absurd as it sounds…perhaps the human Teddy was trying to make his long dormant presence known, both to you and to Bella. Regardless of the reason, Edward, the fact is you finally allowed yourself to open up to someone, and frankly I couldn't be happier. As I told you in my letter, which Alice assured me you read, no man should venture into our world alone. You, of all people, with your particular nature…so sensitive and so passionate…should never face this world on your own. I think," he says, putting his hands on my shoulders, "I think that Bella Swan has been, and will continue to be, the making of you, Edward."

I feel a lump grow in my throat and feel my Adams apple convulse a few times as I attempt to gain control of my emotions. I swear I have spent so much time weeping and staving off sobs in the past several days that I fear I am growing a vagina. I really must spend a few hours in the company of my brothers, I think to myself dryly. I hope to spend some time with them later this evening after Bella falls asleep, perhaps we can manage a hunt in the park. And speaking of brothers…

"Carlisle…where's Jasper?" I ask concerned. I realize for the first time that he had not arrived home with the others.

"He wasn't sure he would be welcome just yet, despite the fact that Alice assured him numerous times that that would not be the case," he informs me sadly. "Was he wrong in his assumptions?" he asks with an arched brow.

"Completely," I assure him without hesitation. "Both Bella and I want him to come home…neither of us harbors any ill toward him. His letter explained his feelings and conveyed his sincerest apology. Also, the wonderful bed that he provided…" I say clumsily. I feel suddenly bashful discussing the bed with Carlisle…it seems too intimate…too personal.

"Ahhh, yes…the BED…" he teases me gently. _Forgive me, Edward, I simply cannot resist…_ His thoughts are both inquisitive and…dare I say…_proud?_ He gives me a wink, and I cast my eyes down chuckling.

"That's good then, er… I mean about Jasper," he assures me. "Not the bed. Though I feel an almost, how shall I say? _Paternal_…need to ask…how are things going in that department, Son? I assume from the contented expressions of you both that you were…ahem…mutually satisfied?"

If it were physically possible for my body to do so, I am quite certain the blush I would be experiencing at this moment would rival any that Bella could produce. To compound my embarrassment and make matters worse, I find myself hardening at the memories of our recent trysts. Christ…this is mortifying!

_I understand, Edward…believe me…I understand…_ Carlisle's thoughts are largely sympathetic. Regardless, it is still humiliating for me…I feel like an adolescent boy who is caught having a 'private moment' by his father!

"Edward, I know this is hard for you…ahem…_difficult…" _We both laugh at his double entendre. "But honestly…I couldn't be happier for you. There are no words to describe the joy a man feels when he falls in love and is able to physically express his love to his mate. But this leads me to a few concerns that I feel I must address with you."

"What would those fears be?" I ask, worried.

"Not fears, Edward…concerns. You have no need to fear, Edward...you have already managed to successfully prove that you are more than capable of controlling your bloodlust around Bella. The fact that you are also able to control yourself while being intimate speaks volumes regarding your control. But you have only just begun to explore the physical side of your relationship, Edward. I don't believe you have any idea of how difficult controlling your lust for Bella will become."

"What do you mean?" I ask, intrigued.

"Edward…surely you've witnessed the passionate relationships between your brothers and sisters, as well as between Esme and me. These feelings…the _sexual_ lust that we experience with our mates intensifies dramatically over time. You and Bella are still in high school and she still lives at home. Have you any idea how difficult this situation is going to be? Vampire men crave sex like we crave blood…perhaps even more so. You and Bella are going to have to come to terms with your recent sexual awakening," he states as he gives me an intense look.

"I guess I hadn't really considered that it would grow exponentially over the next few months…"

"Not _months,_ Edward…YEARS," Carlisle interrupts. "And it will be tremendously challenging for you not to give in to your…shall we say…_baser_…instincts. The fact that you will be returning to school tomorrow, alone, gives me pause."

"What do you mean, Carlisle?" I ask, truly puzzled.

"Other _boys_, Edward…_human boys_. Boys that will be looking at Bella…_noticing her_…_desiring her…_"

"Arghhhhhhh!"

I automatically find myself crouching in an attack mode…the thought of other boys even glancing at MY mate has my venom flowing like an untamed river. I snap my teeth reflexively.

Carlisle looks at me nonplussed. "Yes…and you've just proven my point, Edward." He laughs as he tries to lighten the moment.

What on earth am I doing? Carlisle's thoughts are soothing, and I find myself calming down, just as the shame begins to set in. Good Lord…I might have attacked poor Carlisle!

"Now, now…no need to be ashamed, Son. Your reaction was purely instinctual…the need to protect our mates and to…_possess them_ is completely natural. We are both men AND vampires after all."

"So what do I do Carlisle? I cannot stay home and let Bella go to school without me…I need…no…I _crave_ her company. Besides…you said it yourself…I need to be assured of her safety…that is of the utmost importance to me," I say empathically.

"Of course it is, Edward. My suggestion would be that you hunt as often as possible and spend time talking to your brothers about your concerns. Remember…they have experienced other men lusting after their mates too…yet they go to school and are able to co-exist amongst humans without killing every fellow who gives their girls a sideways glance."

"Okay," I mutter unconvinced. I had not even considered the fact that I would become all possessive and irrational when it pertained to Bella and the opposite sex. How could I have been so naïve? I remember full well how lustful and downright lascivious Emmett and Rosalie were when they first mated. Christ, THAT had been a ten year nightmare for me! It was unbelievable…they were so wanton and shameless in their need for each other that even Esme found herself asking them to move out and be on their own until they could harness their…err…_feeling_s for each other. I roll my eyes and groan…

"Edward…let's not worry about it too much. Knowing you the way I do, I believe you will find the strength to resist killing those innocent boys at Forks High School. You are, without a doubt, the strongest willed vampire I have ever encountered. Besides…your ability to read minds gives you a tremendous advantage," he reminds me.

Yeah…about that…

"Er, Carlisle…that's actually another thing I wanted to talk to you about…" Carlisle raises his brow at me inquisitively.

I begin to tell him about all of my recent situations where my mind reading suddenly failed me. I illustrate by telling him about my recent encounter with Officer Stanley while parking with Bella (making sure to leave out the more sensual details). However, Carlisle sees right through me; he may be the son of an Anglican Minister, but he is not so pious or naïve to actually believe we were only stargazing at Lookout Point. He responds to my story with a big laugh, chuckling at my description of Bella's response when Officer Stanley told her he wouldn't 'say anything to Charlie.' And he actually cackles when I tell him how Bella planned on Googling 'the recipe' on how to destroy a vampire. That _was_ pretty funny!

We walk as we talk and Carlisle asks me a few questions about my mind reading lapses. I tell him everything that I have experienced thus far. I notice that we are on the same path where Bella had her encounter with Laurent. This prompts me to tell him how I actually read Bella's mind when she said her goodbye to me.

"She…she thought the words…_I love you_…she was saying goodbye to me in her mind, Carlisle. I heard her…"

"And did she have any possible explanation regarding this experience…did she notice anything unusual when she had this thought?" he asks.

"Yes…she said that she recalled a flash of white light and a feeling came over her. She…she said it was as if a shade snapped up within her mind. And, in addition to that, both of us felt like we were in a bubble all weekend. So much so that I never even heard any of you arrive when you came home this morning."

Carlisle's thoughts are very quiet for a long moment. He seems to be blocking them from me. Then he lifts his eyes and gives a little nod, more to himself than to me. "I think, Edward…that Bella may have a very special gift…one that makes perfect sense when I consider her personality and intense need for privacy."

"What is it?" I ask, growing excited.

"I think Bella may be a _shield,_" he informs me importantly.

A shield? What on earth is that?

"Of course…I'm not one hundred percent certain…we would have to conduct experiments…I would need to get in touch with Eleazer. But, Edward…this is _wonderful_! What a _gift_…and it will only magnify when she is transformed."

He goes on to explain his knowledge of shields….stating that he has only met one or two in all of his existence, and then showing them to me in his mind. Apparently, a shield is very rare. Of course she is rare…anyone with eyes could see that.

"So, what you're saying is that a shield not only protects their thoughts by preventing anyone in, but some also have the ability to throw their shield over others?" Carlisle nods his head in agreement and then gives his shoulders a little shrug.

"I think it is far too soon for us to be having this conversation about Bella's gift, Edward. Your sister told me that you are planning to change her after graduation, is that correct?"

"Yes, though she surprised me by saying that she'd like to go to college with me first as a human…perhaps waiting a year or so before she transforms."

Carlisle nods his head gravely. "I think that sounds like a very mature plan, Edward. But I do want you to both keep an open mind regarding the possibility that it may need to come about sooner rather than later." I look at him puzzled.

"The _Volturi_, Edward," he reminds me. "We are long overdue for a visit…you know they like to keep tabs on us all. Have you spoken to Bella about them?" I tell him that I had told her about them the night of her birthday party.

"I…I told her that had she died the night James attacked her in Phoenix, I would have gone to them myself, Carlisle. I would have begged for them to kill me….I could never have lived in a world where she doesn't exist." This is the first time I have told him what my intentions had been, had I not been able to save her. The images and memories flood my mind even now, and it is all I can do to keep from running back to the house…back to my Bella. My need for her has never been more acute than it is in this very moment.

"Edward, I know you need to go back to be with Bella now. I may not be a mind reader, but my senses are keen enough to know that you are practically jumping out of your skin with the need to be with her. Am I correct?" I nod impatiently. I need her now…so badly!

"Alright," he sighs. "We've talked enough for now. But I have to say one thing before we head back to the house. The next time you feel the need to provoke the Volturi in order to end yourself…please talk to ME first. I don't think I could have ever recovered from such a loss, Edward. And it would have broken Esme's heart," he implores me.

Suddenly, I feel like a frightened and overwhelmed kid. I shake my head to myself…how could I have been so thoughtless? Of course telling Carlisle of my plans would be upsetting. I offer him my sincerest apology, and he accepts it with a hug, saying "Alright, son…just next time talk to me first…and don't tell Esme…she would be frantic if she knew about this."

I promise him there won't be a next time, and we proceed to walk back to the house.

As we walk, we go by the small caretaker's cottage that Bella and I had spent the most amorous and loving night of my existence. Though it was just a cottage that housed old furniture and relics from my past, I realize now that my feelings toward this dilapidated old building have changed. This is now the place where I asked Bella to marry me, and where I promised to change her. It too has a special place in my heart. As we pass, I mention it to Carlisle who assures me that it is mine if I wish it.

"I think Esme will absolutely adore helping you two renovate it, Edward." This idea fills me with happiness. I look the small building over with fresh eyes; this will become our little love nest.

The desire and need for Bella returns with a vengeance. Carlisle smiles and gives me a little push, telling me to "go home." He pulls out his cell and asks me if it's okay for him to call Jasper and bid him to return. I nod my head and ask him to give Jasper my best and to see if it's possible for him to join Emmett and me for a hunt in the park this evening. Carlisle readily agrees and surprises me by stating that he would enjoy going with us…a men's night out.

I hurry off down the path…I need to get Bella back in my arms…NOW!

I enter the door and note that the women, plus Emmett, are still sitting in the kitchen gossiping. The sound of their laughter is music to my ears. My chest is almost heaving with the need to physically touch her…I round the corner, entering the room quickly.

"So, do you plan on telling Charlie soon about your engagement?" Esme asks Bella.

"Umm…Edward and I haven't really discussed that part yet. I'm not sure how he's going to react…I mean…he and my mom married right out of high school and look how that turned out. I think they're both going to be very upset and possibly a little disappointed in me," she says sadly. My heart, though long dead, thuds unhappily at her words. I hate the thought that our engagement would bring her sadness. She looks up and sees me hovering by the door.

"Oh, you're back!" she sings out happily, as she rises to meet me. I open my arms and she flings herself against my chest. I grab her as tight as I dare and hold her close, kissing her hair.

"I missed you," she says into my neck.

"So much," I breathe in response to her words.

"Bella, I need to talk to you for a minute. Is it all right if I steal you away from my family for an hour?"

"Well which one is it, Edward? Do you need a _minute _or an _hour_? Esme teases. Everyone except, Rosalie, bursts into raucous laughter.

"Oh, for Christ sakes, Edward…you've had her ALL weekend! Can't you go upstairs and play with Emmett for a little while?" Rosalie says in disdain.

And here I thought Rosalie had changed…but no…she's still the biggest thorn in my side. It's comforting to know that some things never change. Alice smiles sympathetically. Her thoughts are full of understanding... and then turn disturbingly to Jasper…wearing a pair of chaps and a …thong? Oh, Christ…I need to get out of here!

"No, Rose…I CAN"T. I need to talk to Bella…_privately._"

"You go for it, Eddie boy!" Emmett cackles approvingly. Rose shoots him a filthy look, but he doesn't back down this time. He lets out a little growl and grabs her roughly to his side. It may be my imagination, but I swear I hear her let out a small purr. Ugh!

Esme lets out a blissful sigh. Should I be disturbed that I already know what Carlisle will be doing the second he enters the door?

Waves of lust are filling the room and clouding my vision. I push my family's thoughts out of my mind as I scoop a very bewildered, but willing, Bella up into my arms and run outside with her…she is laughing and squealing in my arms.

BPOV

Edward literally swept me off my feet, in front of his sisters, Emmett, AND Esme. Oh, my GOD…that was so HOT! And his eyes…Jesus…his eyes are black as pitch and so hooded that all I see are inky slits.

"Edward," I laugh as he stops abruptly. "What's wrong?" I grab his chin and force him to look at me. The look he gives me is so intense…it's almost feral! "You look hungry," I say. "You need to hunt."

"I know I need to hunt, Bella…but this isn't hunger I'm feeling right now. This is…NEED. I need you, Bella…Need to feel you…God, _Please_….I am starving for your touch."

I gasp as his words register in my brain, which sends out an all points bulletin to my girlie parts… WARNING: _penile invasion likely…please stand guard._

I hear a loud bang, followed by the sound of splintering wood. I let out a little gasp as I feel the back of my legs touch what appears to be a mattress. I look up, delighted to discover we are in our little cottage. My heart quickens when I see those black, black eyes closing in on me. I smell the spicy sweetness of his breath as his mouth captures mine in a searing kiss. I sigh in sweet surrender.

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

Guess the honeymoon's not over after all…

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating, guys. Real life has been…difficult…ah…hard…Eh! It was a crap month and let's leave it at that! Seriously though, I do want to thank everyone for their reviews and PM's. The last chapter garnered more reviews than any chapter I've submitted thus far. I guess I need to cry poor mouth more often, huh? So this is me crying poor mouth: Please leave a review! I'd love to break 300 this time. Plus it's my birthday...

Ok…no more begging or whining…I promise! See you soon…just a few more chapters to go!

Jayne


	21. Chapter 21: Bursting the Bubble

**Thanks you to my beta coleen561 for her unwavering guidance and support!**

Chapter 21

Bursting the bubble

BPOV

It's been two hours since Edward swept me off my feet and carried me like Rhett Butler, (okay… no sweeping staircase, moustaches, or hoop skirts were involved, but you get the idea) to our magical little cottage, and had his way with me … TWICE. At this rate, I am going to be lucky if I can walk back to his house without assistance, let alone go to school tomorrow. I've lost count of how many times we've made love, or how many orgasms I've had this weekend. And it's bizarre really…I mean until the night of my 18th birthday party, I never had a single one. NEVER! Not that I didn't try…I did. Well…at least I tried to bring myself to orgasm a few times when I lived in Phoenix. Since moving to Forks and meeting Edward, my nightly practice sessions were cut short. (Yeah…nothing like a sneaky vampire to put the kibosh on a little self love.) Not that I need that anymore, thank God!

So, yeah…I'm a little sore. But a good kind of sore…the kind that makes me remember how I got this way…the kind that makes me warm all over.

"What are you thinking about that's making you flush all over your beautiful body, Bella? Hmm?" Edward rolls towards me, smirking. I blush furiously at his words…damn intuitive vamp…he knows EXACTLY why I'm lying here blushing like a big old tomato. Huh!

"I'm NOT blushing, Edward. I'm having a hot flash," I joke.

"You're having a hot flash all right," he says suggestively as he rolls me on top of him. "But then again, so am I…" I feel his erection twitch hard above my pubic bone. I squirm, and he seductively undulates his hips . This causes me to groan…and not in a good way. Immediately, he removes me from his front and tenderly cradles me to his side.

"I'm sorry, Love. Did I hurt you…are you… sore?" he asks sweetly. I nod my head into his shoulder laughing.

"Yes, I'm sore, Edward! Sheesh…not that I'm complaining…BUT you have rubbed me raw this weekend! I honestly don't know how in the world I am going to walk back to your house…seriously…you're going to have to carry me! You have finally done the unthinkable…you have worn me out sexually." I feel a rumble from Edward's chest, and I punch him lightly on his ribs. "I'm being serious, Edward…I may not survive the night. Stick around…I might need to be transformed in a mere two or three hours. Poor Bella Swan…died from multiple, massive, mind blowing orgasms," I joke in a morose tone. Edward laughs out loud and then sits up, looking down at me. His smile transforms to a small frown.

"Bella?" he says, carefully. "I…I haven't hurt you, have I, love? I mean, you would tell me if I accidently harmed you, wouldn't you?" he says with trepidation. I sit up and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him hard.

"Baby, I'm only teasing you! Of course you didn't hurt me…I promised I would tell you if you did, remember?" Nodding and sighing in relief, he lies back down and takes me with him. We lay sided by side, facing each other. He doesn't say anything for a long time, though he plays with my hair absent-mindedly.

"Bella," he says, finally breaking the silence. "I need to tell you something." My heart thuds at his words; this sounds ominous.

"What is it?" I ask hesitantly…I'm a little worried at his choice of words, though his tone is neutral. Apparently, some fear must show on my face, because he takes my chin in his hands, leans over, and places a soft kiss on my lips. I sigh with relief.

"Shhh…sweetheart. Nothing's wrong. It's just that I wanted you to know that I told Carlisle everything that transpired between us this weekend…" I let out a gasp and redden furiously. I knew he was going to talk to Carlisle about the stuff that happened this weekend, but not…_everything!_

"No, no…I didn't discuss the details of our intimate moments, sweetheart. I would never disrespect you in such a manner. Though, admittedly, between Alice's visions, which she has no doubt shared with the family, as well as Carlisle's keen insight, I am certain he has a fairly good grasp," he says with a slight chuckle. I let out another sigh of relief.

"So, what did he say?" I ask, curiously. "It must have been embarrassing to talk about that kind of stuff with him," I finish off clumsily. Actually, I'm the one who is embarrassed. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look Carlisle in the face now, knowing that he knows about the more, uh… shall we say, passionate side of our relationship. Sheesh! I feel another heat rush coming over me and duck further into the covers. Edward will have none of that though, and he scoops me up out of my blanket cave, pulls me up to his chest, and stares at me intently.

"Hey, none of that…okay, Love? I never want you to feel embarrassed about our lovemaking. Yes…Carlisle knows…they all do. But Bella, they are thrilled for us. Remember, even though my family may look and sometimes act like humans, we are in fact, _vampires_. And, part of the vampire nature is a very sensual and sexual one…it was NOT typical behavior for someone like me to abstain all these years. Quite the contrary…it was considered to be downright odd. My family was very worried about me, even though they did their best to conceal it. So, before you go ducking your head in shame every time you see Carlisle's knowing glances, or the big smile on Esme's face…."

"Or listen to the crass comments from Emmett's mouth," I finish for him with a wink. He bends down and gives me a soft kiss.

"_Exactly._ Just remember how happy they are for us, Love. Okay?" I settle back against his chest and nod my head happily. He's right, of course.

"But, Bella…there is something that you should know," he says as he sits us up and looks at me tenderly.

"And what would that be?" I ask as I give his nose a small kiss. He looks so sweet and rumpled all wrapped up in his grandmother's quilt.

He lets out a big sigh and chuckles a bit self-consciously. "Well, Carlisle wanted to remind me that it might be hard, er…difficult…for me to keep my hands off of you the next few months."

I give him an arched brow and a smirk…is he teasing me?

"I'm being completely serious, sweetheart. I know you think I have this tremendous control and restraint when it comes to being with you intimately, and perhaps before Friday, I was able to do so, albeit with great difficulty. But, since then - since we have… how did Carlisle word it? Ah yes, 'awakened my sexuality' it is going to be nearly impossible for me to control myself at times. Vampires are often insatiable, Bella. They…_no,_ WE, crave sex just like we crave blood. Combine that overwhelming desire with a fierce need to _possess_ our mates…well, I'm afraid it isn't going to be easy for me, especially when we go to school," he says as he squeezes my hip gently.

_Possess? _Mmm…is it weird that just the sound of this particular word coming out of his mouth causes me to tingle and flush all over? I feel my arousal beginning to run down my thighs. Edward lets out a small groan. The next thing I know I am flat on my back and he is covering me from head to toe with all six feet, two inches of his long, lanky frame. I feel his erection pressing itself hard against my stomach. He is breathing heavily, and I gasp as I see his face. His facial muscles are straining, and he is clenching his jaw hard. I realize he is fighting to gain control over his desire.

"Oh, God…Bella…I need you to help me…want you so much…so damn much…" he mutters into my neck, as he kisses and licks the column of my throat. I shiver deliciously at his words, but…he needs me to ground him, so I still him with my words.

"Edward…_STOP!_" I say loudly. He freezes above me for a few seconds, and then reluctantly rolls to his side facing away from me. I can see his shoulders shaking as he fights to gain control. I run my hands over his back, desperately trying to calm him. Finally he rolls on his back and stares at the ceiling. I lean over his broad chest and grasp his face in my hands firmly, forcing him to look at me.

"Shhh…calm down…" I say stroking his hair. I feel him relax in my arms. "See, Baby?" I say firmly. "You DID stop. Now stop worrying so much about losing control. You are the strongest man I know. Besides, you have me to help you, and I swear I'm never going to let you down. More to the point…what's the worst thing that can happen anyway? Maybe you'll lose control, grope me in front of everyone at school, punch out a couple of guys, and end up getting suspended…meh…it sounds like a typical high school experience to me," I say nonchalantly. I know in my heart it could get far worse…he could lose control and kill those boys who love to flirt with me endlessly. But I honestly don't think that will happen. For one thing, he has Alice's visions to guide him, as well as his brothers' undeniable and unfailing support. But more importantly, Edward has strength of character that prevails above all. I lean over and kiss him gently.

"Thank you, Bella. Your words mean more to me than I can say," he says quietly, as he gives me a small hug. There is a seriousness clouding our earlier jubilant atmosphere, and I am anxious to remove it; I want my happy boy back!

I note that although he seems a little down, his erection still seems a little…UP. I don't want him to think that his need to control his lust when we're in public means that we can't embrace our desire for each other when we are alone. So I decide to see what I can do to rectify the situation. Hmmm….

I glance longingly at Mr. Masen, and he snaps to attention. I smile to myself as I lean over Edward's torso. I rest my head just near his heart, and my fingers follow the coppery trail that leads down to his obvious arousal. My finger swirls over the tip of his cock and I massage the milky dew that is leaking copiously out of his tip. With a firm hand, I massage it slowly around the head, then down the shaft. I hear him gasp audibly.

"Bella, wh-what are you doing to me? You need to stop," he stutters adorably and rhetorically. (I squelch a little laugh…I mean…_come on_…it's pretty obvious what I am doing!)

"Uh-uh….I don't need to stop. I'm not the one who's endanger of losing control." (Pfft…now that's a crock…I lost all control the minute Edward Cullen sauntered across the cafeteria of FHS all those months ago!) "Besides…you have a serious problem here that needs to be taken care of immediately," I whisper in a grave voice.

"I-I do?" he whispers back as though he is being given a death sentence by a medical specialist.

"Yes, indeed. Just look at how hard and tight your …_penis _is. Why it's standing straight up, and it's so engorged that it's practically purple. Now that's definitely an indicator that it needs to be… _suctioned _and _drained_." The look on Edward's face is priceless. He blinks hard and shakes his head to see if he heard me correctly. I lower my head to his cock and take a quick lick. Our eyes meet and he lets out the most sensual moan.

"That's right, Mr. Cullen…you just lay right back on the pillows and let Dr. Swan perform her…_procedure._ I promise it'll only take a few minutes, and you'll feel so much better afterwards…kaaay….?"

He settles his head back with a groan, AND…true to my words, it doesn't take long. A few hard sucks, a couple of long licks, a slight swirl of my tongue, and a little tug on his sack…and whoosh! I hear him mumble… "fuuuuck" …and I smile to myself. My once prudish and standoffish vampire appears to be a thing of the past. I swallow hard and kiss Mr. Masen softly. Then I look up at Edward, who seems to be in a post orgasmic stupor; his eyes are glazed and unfocused, and he has a rather goofy smile on his beautiful face.

"There…I've kissed it and made it all better," I say throwing his words back into his face. This causes him to break out of his trance, and he scoops me up and holds me in his arms tightly.

"Thank you, Bella," he says appreciatively. "You always know what to say…what I need. I love you so much…" I feel a lump form in my throat at his words. Sometimes he is just the sweetest boy ever!

"You're welcome," I mutter into his marble chest. He has a few stray curls just below his throat and I play with them absent-mindedly. I know it's the fashion today for guys to be hair free, but I happen to think a little chest hair is _very _sexy.

"I like this," I say to him vaguely.

"What…my chest hair?" he mumbles with a laugh.

"Yes…I like that you have some...it's manly, and very sexy," I say giving it a little tug.

"You know what I like?" he says as his hand trails down towards my pubis. "_This_…" he says, as he tugs on my short curls. Oh. My. God. Now this is EMBARASSING! I duck my head into his armpit for shelter and my blush feels even warmer against his cold flesh.

"What!" he says with a little laugh. "It's true…I DO like your curls. They're very womanly. I know it's the fashion today for girls to wax or shave it all off…I'm not naïve when it comes to trends; I am able to read the minds of women AND I have two sisters, Bella." I let out a little self-conscious laugh, and he kisses the top of my head. "You have to remember, Love, that I am from a different era…THIS is SEXY to me…." He says giving them another playful pull. I come out of hiding then and give him a little punch on his arm. We both laugh and he settles me back on his chest.

"So…what else did you and Carlisle talk about this morning?" I ask, desperate to change the subject.

"Umm…lots of things…but before we change the subject that you seem so anxious to avoid, may I ask you something?"

I nod my head mutely.

"Did you enjoy last night, when I kissed you and stroked you with my tongue…here…" he says as he cups my sex gently. I stifle a little moan remembering how erotic and sensual the experience of having his mouth moving on me so intimately was… I nod my head wordlessly.

"Tell me…" he breathes.

"Y-yes…I enjoyed it," I manage to stammer.

"Good," he says rather smugly.

"Did you enjoy doing it?" I ask hesitantly. I know a lot of guys really DON'T like doing that to a girl, despite what the stories and bathroom gossip might suggest. I'm not dumb …I mean really…it seems kind of gross to me. Vaginas aren't exactly pretty…and they smell funny too. Honestly, there is nothing in the world that could entice me in that direction…Ewww!

"Yes…I LOVED it…though it was probably the most dangerous thing I've done sexually with you so far," he admits reluctantly.

That gets my attention. I sit up and look at him full face. "Why?" I demand.

"The femoral artery is located right here…" he says as he points to a pulse point at the juncture of my inner thigh and hip.

Ahhh… Well, that makes perfect sense. God…it must have nearly killed him to avoid biting me! And he worries about his control at school? Silly vampire. I take his face in my hands and kiss his pink lips.

"I think that proves you have excellent control, Edward. But maybe we shouldn't tempt you too much with _Culleningis_…" I say with a laugh. I admit I've wanted to use this pun with him for quite awhile now, and I've finally been given a prime opportunity! I'm not disappointed when he lets out a roar of laughter. Seeing him so carefree and happy makes any embarrassment I feel at my words fade like a late summer tan.

"_Culleningis? _Now that's a word…" he says playfully to me as he leans over and kisses me just under my belly button. "But…you have no need to worry…I know what to expect now," he says as he trails kisses under my navel and across my hip bones.

I can already see where this is heading and trust me…under normal circumstances I wouldn't hesitate…BUT…this is one hungry vampire who desperately needs to hunt. Besides…I still want to know what else Carlisle and he talked about this morning. So I still him, first with my hands and then with my words.

"Baby, please…not now. I need you to stop and talk to me a little more about what Carlisle said. You still haven't told me any of his theories or explanations about what went on between us this weekend. Did he say why you can't hear people's thoughts when we're being…intimate?"

Edward gives me a long look and sighs; evidently he and Carlisle did discuss more than our sex lives. Thank God.

"Bella, Carlisle doesn't have any concrete answers for us. All he really has are a few theories and thoughts; none any better or more solid than the ones you proposed. But he does agree that it probably has more to do with you than me."

"Huh…what does that mean?" I ask curiously. In truth, I believed that it did have more to do with me, although I couldn't even begin to understand why I felt that way. But the strange feeling that came over me when I first encountered Laurent, coupled by the almost protective cloak of security and completeness that seemed to envelope us this weekend, felt like it was coming from me…from my inner depths.

Edward begins to explain Carlisle's theory regarding shields; how he thinks it is highly likely that I have such a gift. It sounds both fascinating and exciting to my ears; I have been wondering if I will have a gift as a vampire. Now it appears that I will.

He goes on to explain that shields are quite rare in the vampire world and that Carlisle doesn't have much personal experience with them, although he does know of a woman in the Volturi guard named Renata. She is said to be a shield who protects Aro, the head of the Volturi guard. He says that Carlisle is very excited about all of this and wants to contact some guy named Eleazar, who is apparently the head of the Alaskan coven. Finally, Edward asks me if I would be willing to discuss the idea of meeting with Eleazar before my transformation. I tell him that although I wouldn't mind speaking to Carlisle about it, I would prefer to wait until we are closer to my transformation before we get into any kind of experiments and stuff. Honestly, the idea of some ancient mythical creature from Alaska probing my mind terrifies me. I tell Edward this, and he laughs and assures me that Eleazar is a gentle and kind man and that I need not worry. Besides…he points out, he'll be there supervising every move Eleazar makes. I sigh…Edward the protector…he'll make certain that no harm is ever inflicted towards me, of that I am certain.

"Bella, may I ask you something?" he asks a little uncertainly. I sit up and face him. He seems a bit anxious, and maybe…a little sad?

"What is it?" I ask softly, stroking his face.

He looks at me with a small furrow between his eyes. I take my fingers and smooth it, then kiss his forehead softly.

"When-when I came back from speaking with Carlisle, I overheard you say to Esme and my sisters that you were reluctant to tell your parents about our engagement. I heard you say that they would be …_disappointed_ in you. I-I don't want that, Bella… If you're having second thoughts about us being engaged…" he trails off sadly. My heart thuds heavily and my throat feels dry; I never meant for my conversation with his family to be misconstrued that I was having doubts. I throw my arms around him and hug him hard.

"Oh, Edward…NO…that's not at all what I meant; I'm not having any second thoughts about us getting married. I can't wait to be your wife," I tell him firmly, and I hope lovingly. "But telling my parents isn't going to be easy…they married young themselves, and it didn't work out. I know that they're both going to have strong opinions about this; they'll be convinced that I'm making a mistake. I'm sorry that you overheard me talking to your family about my fear…I never meant to cause you any worries. I can't wait to be yours…_your wife_…" I say again, whispering in his ear.

"_Mine_," he whispers back possessively. I can feel the coolness of his breath in my ear, and I shiver deliciously. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

"Yours," I say with a nod of my head. I lean over and give him a reassuring kiss. He sighs against my mouth, but makes no effort to deepen the kiss; instead he sits back and gives me a contemplative look.

"So…when can we tell them, then?" he asks. I sit back and think about it for a moment. I start to tell him that we could share the news on Christmas Day…that we could say that we got engaged on Christmas Eve. But as I begin to find the words and tell him about my idea, I see his face glowing in expectation, and then I catch his face fall ever so slightly. A strange feeling comes over me, and that's when I realize that I have the _power_ to bring him _happiness._ I know this may sound like an obvious thing…but honestly…until this very moment, I never realized that I alone had the ability to make or break him with my words and actions. I look at his handsome face…the face that I have come to know and love more than any other in this world…he IS my world…And I know then that I can give him this…I can bring him happiness. I feel warm and almost giddy with this thought.

"I think we should tell Charlie tonight," I say, grasping his hands in mine. He looks at me in shock, but I can already see the beginnings of a hopeful smile spreading across his face.

"Are…are you serious, Bella? I thought you would want to wait until the last possible moment," he says in disbelief.

"Yes. I think we should include both of my parents in planning the wedding. It's only fair...besides, it is supposed to be the bride's family that handles all the wedding expense and stuff, right?"

"Yes, normally…but I know Alice wants to give us this wedding as a gift," he says, his eyes shining. He leans down and kisses my hands. "Do you think your parents will object to Alice planning the wedding? I know that she has her heart set on it…I read her thoughts when she returned this morning."

"No, I think they'll be relieved most likely. The kind of wedding Alice probably has in mind will probably be over their budget anyway," I say with a little laugh.

He looks at me curiously. "But, why do you want to tell him tonight? I thought for sure you would want to wait at least until Christmas when we could just tell everybody that we got engaged over the holidays," he says, puzzled.

My vampire may not be able to read my mind, but he certainly knows the way it operates. Huh!

"Is that what _you_ want to do?" I ask, already knowing the answer. He shakes his head and offers me my favorite smile.

"No," he admits. "I want to tell EVERYBODY…I can't help it, I suppose. I've never felt so happy or excited," he says with a broad grin. "But Love, I don't want you to feel pressured into telling everybody just now. I know how private you are…" he trails off. Actually, I hadn't planned on telling _everybody,_ just Charlie for now. But the more I consider it, the more sense it makes. If Edward and I tell our friends at school, it might make the guys back off with the flirting and suggestive remarks. Besides…it will make Edward so happy when I show off my ring. I let out a little sigh; as much as I dread the comments and innuendo that will no doubt fill the air at Forks High School, it will be worth it in the end.

"I think we should tell everybody tomorrow at school, Edward. I'm dying to show off my ring, and maybe this will help keep the guys away from me too. Besides…all the girls are going to think I'm knocked up anyway, so if we tell them in September that we're getting married in June, they'll soon know the truth…" I finish off as he swoops in for another kiss.

"Knocked up?" he asks with a small frown. Apparently, that phrase just caught up with his ears.

"Pregnant," I clarify with a lifted brow.

"I know what it means, Bella. That term has been around since before I was even born. But…no…what I meant to ask was, why on earth would they think that you were in confinement?" he asks, truly bewildered.

In _confinement? _

Just when I thought we were making great strides in bringing his vocabulary into the 21st century…

I let out a sigh...I did tell him I love old fashioned things.

Aloud I say to him, "Edward…couples our age don't get married as soon as they graduate from high school. This isn't the early 1900's," I remind him. "What do you suppose they're going to think?" I ask with a laugh.

"That we're getting married because we're in love." He offers me this explanation as if it were the most logical and soundest reason of all. And, as usual, he is right. But still…no one at FHS or _Charlie _(GULP!) for that matter, will see it that way. At least not until I come gliding down the aisle in June with a flat belly. I look at his earnest face, and throw my arms around him; he may be a silly, naïve, antiquated vampire…but he is MY silly, naïve, antiquated vampire. And I wouldn't have him any other way.

"You're right, baby. We ARE doing this for love. …It doesn't matter what they think…we know the truth. Besides, they'll know soon enough."

"Thank you, Bella. I know it isn't going to be easy for you…and I know the real reason you're doing all of this is to make me happy. I love you sooo much, sweetheart," he says as he kisses me softly on the cheek. My heart fills with complete and utter joy. Making him happy elates me…it's a win-win situation. I kiss him back, hop off the bed, and pull my jeans back on.

"We'd better get going, then. I may not be a mind reader, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Alice and Rose are going to be knocking the door down if we don't get back to the house soon. Besides, you still need to hunt, and I need to get back to Charlie." I shrug my arms into my blouse and roll up the sleeves. It feels warmer in here than it did when we first arrived. "Why don't we go back to the house for a little while, and then Alice can drive me home. Maybe you could come over for supper, and we can tell Charlie our news. I'll make my Nana Swan's beef stroganoff for dinner…it's his favorite."

Edward laughs, "Are you trying to soften him up for the blow?" I laugh too; no point in denying the truth. "Yep," I admit, still chuckling. Edward bounces off the bed and is completely dressed before my eyes even have time to process his actions. Damn sneaky vamp with his super massive speed!

"Okay," he says with a grin. "But you'll have to distract Charlie while I fill my napkin with your Nana's recipe. Much as I love you, I don't think my stomach will be able to handle that particular dish…it's very rich," he says with a chuckle. I giggle back at him; I hadn't considered his poor stomach.

"Are you ready, Love?" he asks holding the door open for me. I look up to see him smiling at me crookedly, and my heart melts once again. I approach him with a smile, stand on my tip-toes, wrap my arms around his neck, and give him a kiss on his perfect lips. He returns my kiss with so much love that I feel my heart squeeze. I peer outside and see the sun shining over the canopy of trees and flowering shrubs. The rays catch Edward's face and the sparkles shimmer, and then shine as they light up my world. He leans down and takes my hand in his as we walk out of the cottage together, knowing that we are walking into our future together.

EPOV

We no sooner step out of the cottage when my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and glance at it quickly. It's a text from Rose.

**U-garage-NOW! X-)**

I let out a rueful chuckle and then groan; she's spotted the Vanquish …this is going to be bad.

"What is it, what's wrong?" Bella asks, concerned. I lean over to give her a reassuring kiss when my phone vibrates again. I look down at it and see that it's a text from Emmett.

**dude-wh-up-yr-room? FUCK! TV! O.o**

Oh, shit…NOW he decides to be observant. He was already in my room for at least fifteen minutes earlier this morning. I stifle another groan and try to decide which sibling needs to be dealt with first.

"Edward…what's going on?" Bella asks again. "You look worried…"

I shake my head, chuckling as I take her hand and lead her down the path towards the garage explaining about the texts. She just looks at me and giggles and tells me that I'm on my own with this one. Her phone vibrates in her pocket; she pulls it out and gives it a quick glance.

"Edward, I'm going to go say bye to Esme and Carlisle. Tell Rose I'll call her later, ok? Alice just texted to say she's going to run me home now. Sorry to abandon you in your time of need…" She looks at me with a wink. I pull her to me roughly and give her a hard kiss.

"Oh, I see how it's going to be…you're leaving me to take the heat, huh? You just wait until tonight when we tell Charlie our news…don't expect me to stick around wh…"

Bella reaches over and pulls my hair hard. It doesn't hurt, but the expression on her face is quite alarming.

"If you DARE to leave me alone with Charlie after we drop the M-bomb, I swear there won't be enough water in Forks to extinguish your funeral pyre down at La Push…there are not enough trees in the Olympic Peninsula to create the bonfire I've got planned…you might be faster than me….but…speed isn't going to be on your side when I come after you, Edw-"

I shut her up with another kiss and swallow her words with my mouth. God, I love it when she gets all worked up. Her little heart is fluttering madly, and the heat from her face causes my lips to burn. What a woman! She fists her hands into my hair and causes me to moan. I don't know if human boys like having their hair tugged, but vampire guys certainly do. I feel myself becoming unbelievably aroused and consider sweeping her up and carrying her back to the cottage; Rose, Emmett, and her sore pussy be damned! But I catch sight of her soft eyes and notice that they are filled with tears. My heart drops into the pit of my stomach…I thought we were being playful…Oh, God…I've hurt her feelings!

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm so sorry…" I say, swallowing hard…I never meant to upset her!

"Oh, Edward…I know you're just teasing, Baby. So was I! It's just…I'm going to _miss you_ so much. I don't want to leave…" she trails off. The lump in my throat makes itself known yet again and I swallow convulsively a few times. In addition to the emotion, there is also a scorching burn…I REALLY need to hunt! Still I swoop down for another kiss just in time to feel a hard _ping_ against the back of my head. Startled, I turn around to see the wrath of Rosalie glaring up at me.

"Really, Edward…REALLY? It just haaaad to be the Vanquish. Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be to replace those leather seats? It's not like I can just repair it with some _as seen on TV_ product…these have to be imported…and they're not easy to find, you dolt. This particular model is extremely rare…I may have to fly over to England to look for them myself…you can't trust these idiot mechanics who sell shit on e-bay. What were you _thinking?_ Or should I ask…what were you thinking _with_? And explain to me exactly how the rearview mirror is cracked and dangling by the wire? Wanna know something else that's going to be cracked and dangling by its wire? Ask Emmett…he knows…I've left him cracked and dangling a few times. But don't expect him to save you because he's too busy crying over the expensive flat screen TV he bought you in January when you came back from your emo road trip to Alaska. Now, say goodbye to the human and get your bony marble ass in here and help me look up parts on the computer, while I air this sex on wheels out. Sheesh!" And with those words she turns rapidly and vanishes into the garage leaving a cloud of dust, oil, and BAL a Versailles in her wake.

"My ass is NOT bony," I huff in outrage.

NO, baby…it's definitely NOT bony," Bella croons in my ear, giving my backside a little squeeze. "But it IS kinda like marble…" she teases, as she slides her hot, little hands down my back and into my jeans, where she gently caresses my derriere.

"Ahem!" I look over my shoulder to see Alice glaring at us.

"Go away, Alice," I say to her, as I press another goodbye kiss into Bella's hair. Bella reluctantly removes her hands from my rear and tugs my shirt back down.

"Happy to oblige, brother dear," she agrees as she makes a quick grab for Bella's hand and pulls her away from my arms. "But, SHE is coming with me. Oh, stop pouting…you'll see her tonight. Now if I were you, I'd listen to Rosalie and march my ass into the garage before she decides to give your precious Volvo a makeover. I see her priming it for the Mary Kay edition…it's going to be so pretty in pink…" She bats her eyes innocently. I read her mind to see if she's being serious. She is.

"Wait, Rose!" I holler out to the garage as I all but run to the open bay. "See you tonight, sweetheart. I love you!"

**_Eleven days later…_**

EPOV

It's now the end of September and I am hiding in the janitor's closet waiting for Bella's gym class to end. I know how this must sound…Edward Cullen, the smooth talking, dazzling vampire of FHS cowering in the custodian's cubby. But it's the truth. For here I stand surrounded by cases of toilet paper, rolls of brown paper towels, bleach, Pine Sol, a drum of the hideous pink goo they call hand detergent, and a mop that stinks of sweat, urine, and Gatorade. Oh…AND a pack of Virginia Slims menthol lights that is semi-hidden behind a squeegee and a balled up rag. Huh…

But this is in fact exactly where I am, and where I have been ever since I caught sight of my fiancée's milky white thighs buzz past me as she headed off to play volley ball with Jessica and Lauren. The instant I saw those long pale legs (which were clad in the tiniest red shorts that have ever graced the hallowed halls of FHS) my dick hardened to massive proportions and managed to bust the zipper and destroy the front of my Khaki pants. This was bad enough, but when I took my sweater off and tied it around my waist, Emmett and Jasper happened to be strolling down the hall on the way to their French Class.

"_Oh Monsieur…what have we here? Ooh- la –la!" Jasper calls out to me in a high falsetto voice. His accent is atrocious…A Texas drawl just doesn't work well when speaking French. But his words make me chuckle in spite of my situation. _

Jasper and I have gotten closer since he returned back home to us following our long weekend. The night he returned we sat down and had a good talk…the kind of talk that is truly heartfelt. He spoke about his anguish when he lost control with Bella and how he was afraid that he'd done irreparable harm to us both. We talked about the letter he wrote to me, and how his words were the beginning of the catalyst that changed my mind about leaving Bella. We spoke about the significance of the beautiful bed that was his gift to us. He laughed when I told him that Bella and I both assumed it came from Alice. He assured me that he ordered it himself, though he admits that Alice had highlighted several models for him to choose from, even though she was nowhere around when he did it, and they hadn't discussed it before hand. Later, after he apologized in typical brotherly fashion (which involved a punch and a shoulder clasp), we gathered up Carlisle and Emmett and went for a decent hunt in the woods. It wasn't quite dark enough for the park, but we still managed to find a few deer, and surprisingly, a small black bear that Emmett killed and graciously offered to me. Even though I missed Bella terribly in those few short hours, it was great for all of us men to be together like that. Oh, and the vagina that I was attempting to sprout over the weekend? Well, it disappeared with my first kill. I felt like a man. Well, a vampire-man…

And…speaking of Emmett…he's the driving force behind my being trapped in this hell hole…

**15 minutes earlier**

_Yo, dude…what's up with the sweater tied around your waist? Shit, Edward…did you finally start your period? I KNEW when we left this morning for school that wearing Khakis was a bad idea…" he jokes. I glance over my shoulder quickly to see if anyone is around and swing back towards him, nailing him one in the middle of his chest._

"_Ow! I'm telling Rosie on you…."_

"_Tell Rosie what?" _

_I groan as I look up to see the acid tongue harpy strolling towards me._

"_What's with the sweater, Edward? Is your Aunt Flo in town for her monthly visit?" she smirks._

_I pinch the bridge of my nose hard. I've been trying to break myself of this habit for almost two weeks now, because I know it annoys Bella to no end. But it's difficult…vampires don't change easily, and it's not like there's a patch I can buy at the drug store to assist me in kicking it._

"_No, I broke my zipper," I admit reluctantly._

"_Dude, how did that happen? Wait…you didn't just break the zipper…man, you freaking shredded the material all around it. Did a bomb go off in your pants or something?" Emmett laughs as he lifts the sweater up to reveal the damage that my erection wrought as it fought with cotton and metal. Yeah…my soldier won that battle. _

"_Emmett, I strongly suggest you remove your hands from me and get your ass to French class before Madame Gontaut comes looking for you. Your name is already on the board for being tardy last week. Remember?" He rolls his eyes and smiles in remembrance._

"_Oh, yeah…the janitor's closet…remember Rosie?" Rosie does indeed remember as she balls up her fist and knocks him on the side of his head._

"_Remember this," she says as she marches off to her next class. I chuckle in spite of myself as Emmett rubs the side of his head with a growl._

"_Women! And she's the one who grabbed me and pulled me into the closet…she's got some nerve!" he says as he high tails it to class just as the tardy bell begins to ring. Jasper starts running towards the door, and I call out to him._

"_Jasper…wait up! What do I do?" I ask pointing to my, er…situation._

"_Sorry, man…you're on your own. But I understand there's a certain closet with your name on it…" he laughs as he walks into his classroom. I let out a groan, as I head towards the direction of said closet._

So, this is where I stand and wait for Alice to arrive with another pair of pants. I managed to have the good sense to text her just as I snuck into the closet. She was in the middle of a cooking class and wasn't too peeved about having to leave her pot of beef stew anyway. A quick text to Esme, and a fax from home to the school, and I would soon be free to leave my smelly prison. God…the stench from the pail and mop is dreadful…do they ever actually change the water in those things or do they just continue to recycle the filth year after year? I'm inclined towards the latter.

I lean on the shelf and consider all that's happened over the past few weeks. My being trapped in the custodian cell is a cake walk compared to the night we told Charlie about our engagement. Christ that had been a real scene!

"_You're getting WHAT? MARRIED? No…I don't think so, Bella. You're only eighteen years old for Christ Sakes…WAIT…Oh, my God…please don't tell me this….YOU'RE PREGNANT aren't you! Edward…I TRUSTED you with my baby girl…and now look what you've done. Oh, my God…what am I going to tell your mother? She trusted ME to take care of you….oh, this is awful…"_

"_Dad…I am NOT pregnant,"_

"_Sir, with all due respect…Bella isn't pregnant…I love her, Charlie…and for some reason she feels the same about me. We're planning to go to college together in the fall, Dartmouth if we can both manage to get in…I want to do things the right way, Charlie…it's how I was raised. Please don't be upset with Bella. I know I should have spoken to you first, but I got caught up in the moment…and well…"_

"_Dad, I SWEAR to you that I'm not pregnant. I'll take a polygraph….I'll…I'll pee on a stick and PROVE to you that I'm not! _

_Charlie and I had both cringed at that last remark_.

That was eleven days ago, and while Charlie wasn't overly thrilled with the idea that his only child was getting married the day after graduation, he was slowly coming to terms with it. A few phone calls to Esme and Carlisle and a visit or two from Alice seemed to help alleviate his anguish. He reluctantly agreed not to share the news with Renee until Christmas. Bella was not only worried about Renee's reaction to our engagement, she was also concerned that Renee might actually hop on a plane and try to orchestrate some weird hippie love ritual to celebrate it. Besides, as Bella pointed out, Renee is fairly perceptive when it comes to all things that are supernatural. The less exposure she has to my family, the better.

Bella and I managed to harness our lust for each other fairly well over the past ten days. There were a few minor incidents at school…nothing major. Though Mike Newton might remember things differently…I guess I do owe him a new shirt. (Being thrust hard against a brick wall causes flannel to snag and tear as it turns out.) And I might have confronted a certain freshman named Kyle whose thoughts kept turning to Bella's backside as he recalled her blue thong. Suffice to say he won't be bothering her anymore. (Don't ask, don't tell.) And _don't_ even get me started on Tyler Crowley. I've despised that weak sister ever since he nearly killed my fiancée with his mother's mini-van. I had a few choice words for him the day we came back to school. But I swear I did not harm him…I didn't even touch him. The fact that he had to wear his gym shorts for the remainder of the day was evidence enough that he got my message loud and clear.

But, I must admit I was in for quite a shock the afternoon I brought Bella home from school and the tree doctor was there cutting down my favorite pine. Charlie came around from the back of the house just as we hopped out of the car.

"_What's wrong with the tree, Dad?"_

"_Not a thing, Bella."_

"_Wait…then WHY are you having it cut down?"_

"_There's nothing wrong with my hearing either."_

I recall gulping a few times as I tried to swallow the anxiety in my throat when I read Charlie's thoughts. Apparently, we weren't as stealthy or as quiet as we thought we were being the night before. God's night gown…we might have been caught! Bella really does need to work on her shielding skills. And yeah…it is a good thing I'm bullet proof. A VERY good thing, as it turns out! (Luckily for me, I also know how to scale the side of a house.) Now if I can just figure out a way to concentrate on pleasing my girl while being able to read my future father-in-law's thoughts, I'll be in business. I've considered spiking his beer with an Ambian…but somehow I just don't have it in me to resort to such drastic measures. YET.

My thoughts drift to our first day back at FHS following our engagement. As usual, Bella had been right in her predictions about our announcement, though only Jessica had the audacity to scream it out loud.

"_You're getting MARRIED! OMG! Let me see your rock…huh…that's sick! OMG! HUH! Are you…wait…you're P.G.! OMG! When is the baby due? OMG!"_

I could go on and on with her verbiage, but I honestly despise the text speak that is part of her vernacular. Reassurances that Bella was indeed NOT "P.G." fell on deaf ears. Both Bella and I shrugged our shoulders…Jessica and her cronies would soon know the truth, just as Bella predicted.

I sigh alone in my new domain. There is a strong part of me that wishes it WERE true. Not that I would wish for us to have a child while Bella is still attending high school, but more for the possibility that she and I could have that potential. I HATE taking that away from her! Still, Bella has assured me repeatedly over the past few weeks that she has no regrets when it comes to that subject, and promises me that if it ever becomes a problem later on then we'll adopt just like Esme and Carlisle did. Even though it makes me sad to think of everything that she is giving up for the likes of me, I cannot find it in myself to try to change her mind. I WANT to be Bella's husband…and more importantly…I cannot and will not spend another moment of this infernal eternity without her by my side.

Where the HELL is Alice?

I glance down at my watch and note that it is after 1:00…the bell will be ringing soon.

I strain my ears to hear Alice's thoughts, but the halls are as still as death. I squat down on my haunches. It looks like it's going to be awhile… Just then I hear the door open. Drat! I'd forgotten to lock the damn thing. But why hadn't I heard someone approach? I close my eyes straining to think of what to do and open them wide when I feel a pair of hot, plump, wet lips press against my ear. The scent of strawberries and freesia fills the air.

"Gotcha!" Bella whispers hotly in my ear.

I turn to face her just as she jumps up and wraps those long, luscious legs around my waist.

_Oh, she's got me alright_…. I think to myself as I remove her legs from my waist and ease those tight red shorts down her silky, pearl thighs….She's got me right where I belong. Even if that means I have to spend an eternity in a janitor's closet with Mr. Clean.

**Ten minutes of pure unadulterated bliss later…**

_The following students please report to Mr. Banner's room for afternoon detention:_

_Michael Newton_

_Tyler Crowley_

_Kyle Newbrand_

_And Edward Cullen_

_Fuck!_

**A/N: Thanks so much for all your reviews last chapter! FF was a reply failure last month, so if I missed thanking your personally I'm very sorry.**

**This story is winding down...1-2 more chapters plus the epi left. I have chapter 22 half written, and with any luck it should be ready by next week!**

**Many of you ask about a baby...and many of you have heated opinions on this subject. Please allow Bella and Edward tell you their story as it unfolds... I promised them early on that I would not give away any spoilers regarding the ending of their love story. I can keep really good secrets if I have to...so mums the word. (And no thats NOT a clue!)**

**AFITR was nominated for several awards in the _Sunshine Award_ competiton as well as a few for the _Avant Garde_ Awards. Thank you to those who nominated AFITR! ...please consider voting in these contests. I'm not one to pimp my story out...but coleen561 is nominated for best banner AND best beta...and she IS!**

**See you next week, and thanks again for all your reviews. You know how much I LOVE to receive them.**

**Here's an incentive: In what year was the expression "Knocked Up" first coined? The one who comes closest to the correct answer by Friday will recieve a special lemon..."what REALLY happened in the Janitors Closet" in EPOV, (And NO googling!)**

** xo...Jayne**

**www dot sunshinewards dot com**

**www dot avantgardswards dot com**


	22. Chapter 22: Count Down

This chapter is dedicated to my beta and friend, coleen561.

Thank you Coleen, I couldn't have done it without you!

Chapter 22

Count Down…

BPOV

It's late morning, and I am gently rocking in Nana Swan's chair, daydreaming about the past year. I gaze out my window at the lush green forest that spreads across the land behind my father's house. As I close my eyes, I let the warm, soft breeze of mid-June caress me through the open window. Last night, I became a high school graduate. Tomorrow, I will become Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. _Tomorrow!_

The wedding invitations have long been sent and RSVP'd, and the five-flavored wedding cake arrived at the Cullen household earlier this morning. Alice had called me squealing like a fan girl…oohing and ahhing over the beauty of its artistic wonder. That she couldn't even eat a bite of this gastronomic masterpiece was ironic, yet touching, to my ears. She'd gone to such exquisite details with every aspect of the wedding!

Speaking of Alice…she'll be arriving soon. I glance at my watch and sigh…it's nearly eleven o'clock, and she is coming over in an hour to see to the final fitting on Charlie's tux and tweak the hem on the train of my wedding gown.

My wedding gown…Christ… _that_ had been a real scene…

"_But Bella…Edward will LOVE seeing you come down the aisle dressed exactly like a bride from 1918."_

One look at the fashions from 1918 pretty much squashed that idea. Much as I love old fashioned things, that particular era was not my favorite when it pertains to women's fashions. The high necks, poufy sleeves, and heavy embellishments are not exactly my cuppa tea. Besides…I am rather petite and the heavy and elaborate styles of that era would drown me. Ugh! Alice and I had our first real fight over this…we both said hurtful things with biting words, and I had left the Cullen house that day in tears. Edward had held me in his arms that night as we'd sat in my rocking chair, comforting me with his kind words and sympathetic sighs, as he listened to my tirade. He'd kissed me and soothed me, but he refused to come between us girls, telling me "You have to resolve this with Alice, and the two of you have to work it out together."

In the end, it was Rosalie who got us talking again, telling us to "get your heads out of your asses and _compromise_, for Christ sakes!" She'd pointed out that we could order antique fabric and lace online…she'd seen a site that specialized in it… this led the three of us to pore over issues of Modern Bride and American Weddings. Eventually we DID compromise … choosing antique slipper satin for the simple, yet timeless style of my gown, and allowing Alice to create a magical gossamer veil from the lace which had been sent to me as a gift from Edward's Irish cousins. The end result was now hanging in magnificent splendor in my closet. I sigh at the memory and hug my cordovan leather diary, glancing down at the beautiful engraving on the front:

_Isabella Swan Cullen._

Thinking about the day that Edward gave me this diary, I opened it to the first page.

_**October 13**__**th**_

_**Today, Edward showed up in my room with an armful of presents. Initially, I groaned when I saw his arms heaped to the brim with gaily covered packages that were draped with bright blue ribbons and bows. I may have snapped at him; I've always hated anyone spending money on me.**_

_**I can't help but remember counting pennies with Renee. Money was always tight back then, and Renee, with her frivolous and generous heart, was always buying me toys, dresses, and books when she should have been replacing the tires on her car or paying the rent.**_

_**One look at the slight fall of Edward's face when he'd heard my groan had me changing my tune. I didn't want to hurt my sweet, loving, and generous vampire. I ran towards him and grabbed the bundles, set them down on the bed, and threw my arms around his neck. He kissed me hard, in obvious relief.**_

_**He then said, "Sweetheart, you never did let me give you anything except that CD I made you for your birthday. I know how you hate surprises, and seem to shy away from gifts in general, BUT…I am hoping that since I'm going to be your husband soon, you'll allow me a few indulgences…"**_

_**My trepidation turned to excitement as I ran my hand over each one; the anticipation on Edward's face only increased my enthusiasm. He'd seemed absolutely thrilled just by watching me as I began to pull at the paper and bows. I remember chuckling when he suddenly handed me a letter opener from my desk drawer; he'd wanted to make sure there'd be NO paper cuts this time! He'd given me a smile and a little wink when I sliced open the beautiful wrapping.**_

_**My first present was a beautiful antique silver hair brush, comb, and mirror set. It was set with lovely scenes of cherubs, heavily embossed with scrolls of roses and ivy. The handles had inlays of pearls and ivory. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.**_

"_**This was my mother's," he'd said, his eyes shining. "My father gave it to her as a wedding gift…I hope you like it. I think my mother would be proud for you to have it…" he faltered slightly, as his voice faded off. My eyes had filled with tears…it was truly beautiful and all the more so because it had been his mother's. Besides, Edward had told me countless times that brushing my hair was practically a religious experience for him…it made him feel so intimate and connected to me. This gorgeous and loving gesture caused me to throw my arms around him, showering kisses over his face. I punctuated this with murmurs of thank you's and I love you's. He'd seemed pleased with my response.**_

_**My next gift was a lap top. YAY! No more ancient and wheezing PC for me…I now had a shiny new state of the art laptop, complete with all the bells and whistles. I admonished him for spending so much money on me, but he hushed my protests with laughter and kisses. I couldn't really be mad at him anyway…I would need this when we went to college together next fall.**_

_**In addition to the laptop he'd also bought me a Kindle for my book obsession. He'd already loaded it with Jane Austen's complete collection, the Bronte sisters, and the works of Byron, Keats, and Robert Frost. **_

_**Next was a lovely platinum locket from Tiffany and company. It was a small heart shaped locket with a single, perfect sapphire in its center. The back was inscribed with a single word: Forever.**_

"_**Open it," he'd whispered while trying to control his excitement. I did as he requested to discover, much to my amazement, that he had put a tiny picture of me as a baby on one side and a smaller version of the picture of him as a child holding Mr. Biggs on the other. "Where did you get this picture of me?" I'd asked, wiping tears from my eyes. "Renee," he'd said back. I remember how I sighed when he told me that he started calling my mother just to chat so that they could get to know each other. "After all, Bella," he'd said shyly, "I am going to be her son-in-law." My throat had constricted with the emotions that statement had wrought.**_

My last present had been this cordovan leather diary with its beautifully engraved front. I remembered his words from that evening as I opened my new diary for the first time and thumbed through the heavy, ecru pages:

"_I-I wasn't sure if you wanted to keep Marie as your middle name or use Swan. Umm… I-I wasn't sure if you wanted to take my name as yours either…so I had it engraved with Swan AND Cullen just to be safe. I didn't want to presume…" he'd stammered and faltered. I'd grabbed his face between my hands, and kissed his quivering lips and swallowed his doubts with my mouth. "You can presume," I'd said, stilling his concerns. "Of course, I'll be Isabella Cullen. Bella Cullen…your wife…" I said, kissing his beautiful and happy face. Naturally THAT led to him ravishing me on my bed…the rustle of bows, shiny paper, and the words "Mine" had filled the air. I was VERY appreciative that afternoon…so much so that we barely heard Charlie's cruiser as he'd returned home._

"_Bella," he'd said afterwards as he frantically helped me arrange my clothing and put my room back to order, just as Charlie's keys were heard in the front door. "I bought you the diary so you could record all of your memories…your human memories. I never want you to forget anything. Not the way we met, or how you figured out the truth about me. I want you to write about YOUR feelings the day we first went to the meadow and we declared ourselves to each other. And Love, promise me…when you write YOUR story…please don't edit. I want you to be honest… I want you to share everything…even…even the part about how I almost left you, and what an ass I was…"_

Looking back at my entry for October 13th, I read the final paragraphs for that day.

_**I wrapped my arms around Edward and thanked him for all of his lovely gifts and words. I promised him that I would fill the pages with our love story and that I wouldn't leave anything out. **_

_**Those few days that followed my eighteenth birthday were the best days of my life, even if they did come on the heels of such a terrifying and sad experience. I wouldn't have changed one single moment of that night, no matter how painful it had been. That night was the night that changed everything between us.**_

Sigh . . . Well, I still have some time before Alice arrives, and there's nothing I'd rather do than read through my diary and think back over the happiest and most amazing eight months of my life.

_**October 19**__**th**_

_**Today Edward and I sent off our applications to Dartmouth College. We are hoping to get an early decision, and Edward assures me that we'll both be accepted. But I have my doubts, his smug attitude worries me just a little…I hope that sneaky little vamp didn't do something stupid like making a ridiculous donation or something. Pfft…but knowing HIM…gah!**_

_**October 24**__**th**_

_**Oh. My. God. Edward got detention AGAIN-this time for tripping Eric in the lunchroom when he noticed him peering down the front of my blouse as I bent over to pick up the apple that I dropped. I would have thought that last month's detention would have been fresh in his mind. I'm still pissed at him for not telling me what it was all about. Of course the rumors are flying all over the school, but most of them are so outrageous and absurd. I do think that it's weird that Tyler Crowley is transferring in his senior year to Forks Technical Institute though. When I asked Edward what he knew about it he only smiled and hummed. **_

_**October 27**__**th**_

_**Made fish for supper again. Yuck! That's one thing I'm not gonna miss after I'm changed…I HATE the smell of frying fish. But knowing me I'll still come over sometimes to make it for Charlie. I wish HE would find a new wife. I mean…he's not THAT old. Maybe he'll meet somebody at the wedding. Wouldn't it be hilarious if he fell in love with a vampire?**_

_**October 31**__**st**_

_**Just finished putting on my costume for Angela's Halloween party. I'm going as Wendy Darling. I cannot BELIEVE I talked Edward into dressing as Peter Pan! Yay! He's even wearing the green tights I ordered from Lane Bryant's online (they were the only place I could order in size X-X-X long.) He made a big ole stink over it, but I used my best words (ok…and my MOUTH) to convince him! Alice is going as Tinker Bell (naturally) and Jasper is going as Nana, the Darling's dog/nanny. (Yeah…Alice had to use HER mouth, too!) What really shocked me was when Rose agreed to dress up…usually she's too snarky and full of herself to fool with other humans. But she IS going…as Captain Hooker! (Don't ask…let's just say her costume is very different from the illustrations in my copy of Peter Pan!) Emmett is going as the crocodile… complete with a ticking clock that Alice sewed inside his costume. Tick Tock… I can't wait!**_

_**Oops…gotta go…Edward just arrived at my window in his green tights. OMG! You should SEE his, er, package,…nothing is left to the imagination. Jessica is going to need smelling salts!**_

I grin in remembrance. Edward's _package_ was the talk of the school on Monday! I didn't think he'd ever recover from that experience.

"_But Bella…I can't even walk down the hallway to come get you for class without seeing myself etched in all the girls', not to mention Eric Yorkie's, filthy minds. It's mortifying!"_

The poor thing…it WAS mortifying for him…I'd witnessed the look of lust on Eric's face myself. Yeah…I'd had to soothe him with my words AND mouth yet again. Eventually, he recovered.

My fingers trail over the pages haphazardly. I come to the month of November…

_**November 1**__**st**_

_**Deer hunting season officially opens today. Now both Edward AND Charlie will be indulging in one of their favorite hobbies. Too bad they just can't do it together!**_

_**November 15**__**th**_

_**Veteran's Day! Edward and I enjoyed another long weekend, compliments of the Cullens leaving us the house to ourselves, AND Charlie's belief that I was hanging with Alice for three days. It's been an unbelievable weekend! Esme showed us the designs for the cottage and we are both getting sooooo excited! Edward says he'll begin on the remodeling with his brothers next week!**_

_**We're going to La Bella Italia in Port Angeles tonight. Edward called ahead and asked for "Bambi" to be our server!**_

_**(6 hours later)**_

_**It's nearly midnight, and we just returned from Port Angeles. Bambi/Jennifer was so happy to see us…I can't believe she remembered us from our last visit. She went on and on about how she was the recipient of a Pacific Northwest grant and how she and Matt were going to use the money to put a down payment on a house. I looked at Edward in disbelief, and he gave me a sheepish grin. Damn sneaky vamp! Knowing the price of real estate in Port Angeles I sincerely doubt he'd given them a mere 5,000 dollars. More like $25,000! Still, it was worth it to see the way Jennifer glowed while she took our orders.**_

_**November 25**__**th**_

_**Edward just left my house to go back home. The poor thing managed to put away an unbelievable amount of food under Charlie's watchful eye. Originally, we had planned to have dinner at the Cullens', but in the end it just didn't make sense for the whole family to try and pretend to eat an enormous twelve course dinner. So they faked an invitation to their cousin's home in Alaska, leaving Edward to suffer the indignity of eating turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and candied yams. I watched in fascination as he scooped the last bite of Grandmother Higgenbottom's pecan pie in his mouth. Charlie excused himself after that to watch the game, leaving me and Edward to wash up in the kitchen. We no sooner finished drying Nana Swan's porcelain turkey platter when I heard a loud rumble coming from his stomach. He grabbed his middle and ran out the back door…I could hear him retching in the nearby woods…he was SO loud. When he came back ten minutes later, I swear he looked even paler than usual. I took him upstairs and rubbed his belly for a good hour after that. (And here I thought I'd never be in a position to comfort him when he was sick!)**_

_**Apparently, Charlie overheard him too because when we came downstairs he blamed it on the green bean casserole…saying "I always hated that damn recipe of your mother's…it's too rich and heavy for anyone to eat. Get the boy some Pepto Bismol, Bella." **_

_**Yeah…I'm still laughing my ass off.**_

_**December 16th**_

_**We got IN! Just received our acceptance letters from Dartmouth College…early acceptance too! Charlie is THRILLED! (Even more so now that he knows Edward is paying for my tuition. He tried to object, but Edward reminded him about his trust fund and the fact that we'll be married when we start our classes next fall. Charlie surrendered in relief.) Now we have to find a way to tell Renee. I think we'll just bite the bullet and tell her when we share the news about our engagement on Christmas Day. (GROAN!)**_

_**As exciting as all this was, NOTHING could top what happened later. Seriously!**_

_**After congratulating us, Charlie left for the late shift, and Edward and I put up a Christmas tree in the living room. I wanted to leave the lights on to surprise Charlie when he got home. This was a big deal for me because it was my first Christmas with Charlie since I was a baby, and I wanted to make it special.**_

_**Edward and I sat on the couch, bathed in the soft glow of the brightly colored lights of the tree, while instrumental Christmas music played in the background. Suddenly, his lips crashed into mine, and his cold hands gave me goose bumps as they slid under my shirt and up my back.**_

"_**Bella, it's been a long time since I've celebrated Christmas. Perhaps I can open my favorite present tonight? We can always re-wrap it later." I looked at him puzzled, but then he started waggling his eyebrows at me. Mmm-hmm…I knew exactly what "present" he wanted to unwrap.**_

_**I couldn't resist, replying with, "Well, maybe we should put that present under the tree first."**_

_**Aaaaaand the next thing I knew, we were standing and holding each other close. His lips were on mine and our clothes were coming off. He laughed and draped my red bra and matching lace panties (Thanks, Alice!) onto the tree. **_

"_**Now the tree looks perfect, and my favorite present is unwrapped. But I still want my present under the tree," he chuckled darkly as he tossed two cushions from the couch to the floor at the foot of the tree. **_

_**I lowered myself onto the cushions, and Edward began worshiping my body – covering me with kisses and increasingly urgent caresses. I remember the incredible release I felt as his beautiful, long fingers worked their magic between my legs. I remember begging him to take me, to fill me... I remember the sighs, the moans, Edward chanting, "MINE" while I cried out in pleasure, and most of all I remember hearing, "Oh, I'm going to...Mmmm...oh, yeah...ahh... OH, MY GOD …" **_

_**And cue Charlie.**_

_**I'm not kidding…he opened the door just as we both saw the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.**_

_**Now Edward might have the ability to move fast, but I'm gonna tell ya…this time he had nothing on me when it came to speed. I knocked him off of me, threw his tee shirt on, and ran up the stairs so fast it would make your head spin into outer orbit. **_

_**I left Edward to deal with poor Charlie. **_

_**They're still downstairs talking. I put my ear to the door and keep hearing words like 'respect' and 'control'…but thankfully, no gunshots-YET!**_

Today, I can laugh when I think about that night.

However, at the time, I had never been so humiliated or scared! Even though I knew Charlie could never really hurt Edward, I still had major anxiety about the whole thing. But it turns out Charlie was really decent about it. I don't think he actually saw us "doing it", though he had a pretty good idea that we were putting more than Christmas presents underneath the tree. Still, when it comes to Charlie less is more. And yeah…as it turns out, I DID manage to make this a "special" Christmas. Sheesh!

The worst part is that Edward knows for a fact that Charlie got a very good look at his naked ass. In fact Charlie's thoughts, according to Edward, were, "boy needs to go with Bella when she visits her Mom in Florida. Christ, if anyone could use a good dose of vitamin D, it's that kid."

_**December 19**__**th**_

_**Just came back from seeing Angela and speaking to her father.**_

_**We set our date…June 19**__**th**__**! It's a Sunday, and it's Father's Day, but it was the only free date Reverend Weber had available that weekend. **_

_**Six months from today I'll be Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen!**_

_**December 26**__**th**_

_**Well… the cat's out of the bag now! We finally told Renee our big news about getting married AND getting accepted into Dartmouth. As usual the woman is unpredictable… Instead of being disappointed she was beyond ecstatic over both pieces of news. She didn't even ask me if I was knocked up. Her only concern was whether she would be able to find the right kind of sage when she arrived so she could cleanse Edward and me by waving the burning bush over our heads. Hey…at least she didn't mention sticking a candle in our ears! She wants us to come visit her in March for spring break. I wonder if sun block would work on Edward's sparkles? Hmmm…**_

_**I gave Edward two gifts for Christmas…an iPad and the news that I quit my part time job at Newton's. (I hardly ever worked there anyway…just the occasional weekend or special event. But Edward HATED me working with Mike, regardless.) He seemed to be thrilled with the iPad…but I think he preferred my unemployed status the most!**_

_**He gave me the loveliest keepsake box…cherry… with mother of pearl inlays. Inside were a small bottle cap and a dried out rose. He told me the cap was from an old lemonade bottle that I drank out of the first time we sat and talked to each other in the cafeteria (Sentimental Vamp!). The rose was his boutonniere from prom. Aww… He also gave me another CD of his music and a beautiful crystal heart charm that dangled from a lovely gold bracelet.**_

_**PS: Alice just told me that the heart is NOT crystal, it's a DIAMOND! What am I going to do with that boy? (One guess!) Grin…**__**Besides, she said it was his mother's…**_

_**January 1**__**st**_

_**Happy New Year! Last night we had a huge party at the Cullens'. We invited EVERYBODY! Alice's Christmas decorations were the talk of the town. She used more decorations than Clarke Griswold. She even strung fairy lights all along their massive driveway…it looked like the Milky Way! Everybody had a great time and Emmett…OH MY FREAKING GOD! Emmett dressed up in nothing but a big diaper and ran all around the house when the clock struck twelve o'clock midnight screaming…"Happy New Year!" **_

_**Everybody left shortly after that, and Edward and I snuck out to our little cottage to ring in the New Year in our own special way. That boy has quite a mouth on him…and for the record; I thought only werewolves howled at the moon. I thought wrong…**_

I look at my watch and realize that Alice will be here shortly. I quickly scan the pages of my diary, reluctant to close it just yet. This is my last full day as Isabella Swan…I want to read every entry I wrote about our amazing courtship before I take my vows tomorrow.

_**February 14**__**th**_

_**We just had dinner in Port Angeles. Jennifer wasn't there…she and Matt got married this afternoon. Sigh…how romantic!**_

_**After dinner we drove back to our scenic outlook (the one where Edward first discovered that he lost his ability to hear other's thoughts when he was otherwise engaged…ahem!) We didn't take a chance by making love, (I certainly didn't need another verbal warning from Officer Stanley!) but we did fool around in the back seat of his Volvo. Apparently the seats ARE quite stiff…as was Edward. I had to play Dr. Swan one more time…Edward was a very good patient. He just laid back and let me perform my procedure...no bitching…though he certainly did moan.**_

_**March 21**__**st**_

_**Just came back from visiting Mom! We had a GREAT week! I really loved her house, and Edward got along so well with Phil. They even drove down to the batting range one night. I think Phil was quite impressed with Edward's technique…though Edward claimed he tried his best to play human style. He managed to break the batting machine instead. Luckily, he brought his check book with him.**_

_**Mom and I played in the gulf, swam with the manatees, and ate coconut shrimp. Edward faked a term paper and stayed indoors while she and I caught up. But at night…Edward and I played in the Gulf…a LOT! Normally I worry about sharks and other creatures when I'm swimming in the Gulf, but Edward being Edward insures that NOTHING will brush up against my legs when I'm in the water; except for HIM.**_

_**I also learned about the special benefits of wearing a two piece bathing suit and having a fiancé who doesn't need to breathe under water! Gah! I hope no one heard my moans and shouts. After he helped me get my bikini bottoms back on, he had to carry me back to shore – my legs were like jelly! **_

_**April 24**__**th**_

_**Edward and I are in Chicago! We had a long weekend, and he wanted to show me his family house, which he still owns. Normally it is rented out, but it's recently become vacant. He asked me if I would want to live here someday…and I told him yes. We decided that he will move a lot of his old furniture back here and then we'll keep it as a second home. I'm sooo excited!**_

_**But it was also a sad day…today would have been his sister's birthday. We visited the graves of Lottie and his parents this afternoon. Edward bought a huge arrangement of Lily of the Valley and a posy of violets to place near their stones. It was a strange and surreal moment watching him as he made peace with his past. Later on, we returned to his family home, and we embraced our future together. In practically every room of the house... **_

_**I hope I can walk tomorrow…he wants to take me to the Sears Tower. Groan…**_

As I continue to thumb through my diary, a small slip of paper falls to the floor. I pick it up and make a face as I remember the day Edward gave me this note in Mr. Banner's class.

_I need you. Forget gym class and come with me. And I do mean come. Love, E_

Yikes! My sweet vampire had needs, and just like Carlisle predicted, he was often insatiable. He had been hunting the night before and was unable to make his usual late night visit. Of course, I had missed him too. Besides, how could I refuse an invitation like that?

I open the diary to that day and allow myself to recall one of the most intense moments of my life.

_**May 13**__**th**_

_**Today Edward passed me a note in biology class, asking me to skip gym and join him for some extra-curricular activities. The last few minutes of class dragged on, and I got quite carried away imagining what Edward might be planning. Unfortunately, my level of arousal became noticeable to Edward. It was like throwing gasoline on a fire. **_

_**When the bell rang, I was barely able to grab my books before he practically picked me up and carried me out of the room. Gah! I wonder what everyone thought as we rushed out of the classroom. I could tell he was struggling to maintain a human pace. At first, I didn't know where he was going. I wondered if we'd end up in that smelly janitor's closet, AGAIN. Suddenly, a door opened and he set me down.**_

_**His mouth urgently attacked me, and I was momentarily lost in the sensation of his lips and tongue on mine. Pulling away to breathe, I glanced around and realized that we were in the girl's bathroom at the front of the school, between the foyer and the gym. I asked him if we were safe, and I remember his exact words:**_

"_**Don't worry, Love. They keep this bathroom locked unless there is sports competition being held in the gymnasium. A little detective work allowed me to find the key. The door is locked, and the key is in my pocket." **_

_**Yeah, I should have known this wasn't a good idea. But he began kissing his way down my neck, and those speedy vampire fingers had my flannel shirt off of me in the blink of an eye. At least he wasn't tearing my clothes off. That was a lesson we learned early on. No ripping off clothes during a school day. Waiting for Alice or Esme to bring a change of clothes while we hid in the Volvo or the janitor's closet was too nerve-wracking.**_

_**Soon enough, we were both naked, and I reached down to get reacquainted with Mr. Masen. I remember Edward moaning and chanting my name. His eyes were hooded and so black with his need. He asked me to turn around and grab hold of the sink. I wasn't sure what he had planned, but I did as he asked. The next thing I knew, he had grabbed my hips and lifted me off the floor. He began to rub his erection between my legs, coating him thoroughly with my wetness. And Lord knows…I was VERY wet!**_

_**Suddenly, he plunged into me from behind. I was holding onto the sink for dear life and my feet were dangling in the air, so I wrapped by legs around him as best I could in this position and held on tight. He was so deep, and it felt so good. I fear we may have been moaning and calling each other's name a little louder than we realized. I believe I remember Edward saying something like, "Fuuuuck, Bella. So wet for me…mmm…so God damn HOT…so tight…mmm…feel sooo good. Does it feel good, sweetheart…am I making it good?" And all the while I'm moaning and groaning and going on and on about " love your big cock…so hard…yeah…right there…mmm…Oooh…just a little harder…please…oh please…you won't hurt me…Yeah! Yeah! Oh Yeah!"**_

_**YEAH…I'm sure ya get the point.**_

_**Anyway...just as my mind and our breathing began to clear; someone started pounding on the door. Yep. It might have been locked, but it wasn't quite as private as we had hoped. **_

_**It seems that the water fountains in the gym weren't working, so the gym class –MY gym class, the class I was DITCHING – was using the water fountains in the foyer. Uh-Yeah… the ones NEXT to the bathroom where my fiancé had just loudly and thoroughly fucked me silly…**_

_**I remember more pounding on the door, laughing, giggling, and some muffled talking outside the door as we quickly pulled on our clothes. I had heard stories about the "walk of shame" but that was nothing compared to what it felt like to open that bathroom door and face the crowd on the other side.**_

_**I had looked to Edward for strength, but even he seemed paler than normal. His fists were clenched, and he was shaking his head slightly. I asked him what our audience was thinking, but he told me I didn't want to know. As we stepped into the foyer, the small crowd broke out into wild applause, and I wondered if you could really die from embarrassment. They were all there: Mike, Jessica, Eric, Lauren, aaaaaand… The GYM TEACHER! Talk about embarrassing…**_

_**Crap! My first detention... But… this was Edward's THIRD one this year, so guess what? He had a one week vacation AND Carlisle and Esme had to come to FHS for a conference. It was the first time in over half a century that that had ever happened to one of their "children." Needless to say, Emmett cracked completely up, Rose smirked, Jasper sympathized, Alice saw it coming, and Carlisle was frankly amused. But Esme was PISSED! Needless to say, Edward didn't sit around and play his piano all week…Esme had quite a list of chores for him to do around the house!**_

Chuckling over the memory I turn the pages a little further…

_**May 22**_

_**We wrote our vows today! Well, actually we selected them...both Edward and I prefer the traditional wedding vows. The only thing we changed was the "until death do us part." "As long as we both shall live" sounds more appropriate to recite, given our unique circumstances.**_

_**Later that night, in the quiet glow of his bedroom, nestled between warm sheets and cool limbs we practiced saying our vows. Then we practiced our honeymoon…over and over again.**_

_**June 9**__**th**_

_**Oh God…I'm so sick. Seriously, I feel lousy! I just came back from seeing Dr. G- I have STREP throat! Shit…I'm getting married in ten days! He gave me a Z-pack and a refill on my birth control pills. I tell him that I'm thinking of going off the pill, but he advises me to wait until we've been married at least a year. I almost laughed in his face! I decided I'll stay on the pill for awhile anyway…I don't want my period when I'm on my honeymoon. And to be honest, I don't think I want to have my period at all around Edward and his family anyway. We did talk a little about this a few weeks ago. (Embarrassing!) Edward wanted to assure me that menstrual blood doesn't have the same affect on vampires as fresh blood. Still, I don't want to take any chances!**_

_**Edward is SO sweet! He brought me some of Esme's chicken soup…it's delicious, but I could barely manage a bite. Between my aching throat and Edward's frantic clucking, I just wanted to DIE. Finally, I managed to convince him to crawl into bed with me naked…I needed the coldness of his skin to cool me off. Charlie came in an hour later to check on me…no, we weren't having sex…but trying to explain to Charlie why Edward's clothes were in the middle of the floor whilst HE was huddled next to me in the MIDDLE of the BED... Yeah…that was mortifying! Memories of Charlie walking in on us at Christmas time and seeing Edward's snowy white derriere made me shudder (and NOT in a good way) .**_

_**Needless to say Charlie made a quick exit, and I gave Mr. Cullen a piece of my mind. Honestly…what good is it being a mind reader, if he can't hear his future father-in-law coming up the damn stairs?**_

The rest of the entries are brief…I've had so little free time lately! Thankfully, my throat cleared up, and I'm feeling like my old self. Our graduation last night was quiet, but wonderful. I laughed when I saw Edward and his siblings hand over their mortar boards and tassels to Esme…just a few more to add to the colorful framed artwork in the foyer!

I'm sure the Cullen house is bursting at the seams with visitors and activity. The Denali Coven arrived earlier this morning…great…I finally get to me the lovely Tanya. Yippee… Maybe she'll hook up with one of those creepy vamps Carlisle invited from Romania.

Speaking of vamps and visitors, Carlisle is anxious for me to meet Eleazar and his coven. GROAN! However, he assures me that it will be a social visit only. He doesn't want me to stress out about my supposed powers until after I'm changed.

A sound at the window startles me out of my nostalgic reverie…I look up in surprise…why is Alice coming in through the window? But I'm even more surprised when I see that it isn't Alice after all…it's Edward. He climbs through my window, raking his hands nervously through his hair.

I burst into tears. What has he DONE?

EPOV

I stand here in the middle of Bella's room aghast. My sweet girl took one look at my new hair cut and burst into uncontrollable sobs just as Alice had predicted.

"You'd better let her see you this afternoon and not wait until tonight…from what I can see her reaction isn't going to be pleasant. I TOLD you cutting off your hair was a bad idea…"

Gathering up my precious girl in my arms and watching her fall apart makes me realize just how accurate Alice's predictions usually are.

"Oh, Edwaaaard…what have you DONE? Your _hair_…your _beautiful hair_…Oh, my God…you've cut it all off! It's not even the same color!" she cries into my chest. She sits up and runs her hands frantically over my recently shorn locks…pulling and tugging on the strands as if willing them to return to their former glory. Before I have a chance to explain, Charlie bursts into the room.

"Bella, _what_ is going on? _Edward_…how the hell did you get in here without coming through the door? You sure are a sneaky little bast…" he cuts himself off as he looks at me, my haircut, and finally Bella. A look of understanding crosses over his face and his thoughts towards me become almost sympathetic.

"Oh…" His one word says it all, as he crosses over to Bella.

"Hey, Bells…don't cry honey. It's just a hair cut…it'll grow back…" This causes Bella to cry that much harder. My hair will never "grow back," and she knows it.

"This reminds me of the day before I married your mother. I shaved off my mustache and she cried like a baby…almost refused to marry me unless I grew it back in time for the wedding. Should have known THAT wasn't a good sign…"

"Waaaaa!"

Christ, Charlie…_please_ stop talking…

"Edward, maybe you should leave for a while and let me talk to Bella. Her mom's staying at the motel…maybe I should give her a call…"

"I've got her, Charlie," I say to him firmly.

"But she's still crying…"

"I've GOT her, Charlie," I say with even more conviction. His eyes meet mine, and I nod my head curtly. And in this moment a look passes between us with the understanding that, come tomorrow, I am going to be Bella's husband. _His _baby was now going to be MY responsibility. He nods his head and returns my look…_take care of my baby girl, Edward_…he thinks as he turns and walks towards the door.

"She's all yours," he says, closing the door behind him.

I pick her up and place her on my lap as I sit down in her grandmother's chair, settling us both and rocking gently back and forth.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart…I should have asked you first," I say apologetically. "Don't you…do you…still like me?" I know this sounds ridiculous, but I have to ask. The way she is acting I'm frightened she's going to break up with me before our wedding day tomorrow.

"Of COURSE I still like you…I LOVE you," she says empathically. "But why did you cut your beautiful hair? You know how much I loved it…and it'll never gr-grow back…" she cries, her tears starting anew.

"Bella, look at me," I say as I hold her chin with one hand and dry her tears with my other.

"Tomorrow I am going to be waiting for you as you walk down aisle. I'm going to take your hand, and vow before our family, friends, and God, to love, honor, and protect you. I'm going to put a band on your finger and allow you to put one on mine in return. Then we're going to kiss each other for the first time as husband and wife. I'm going to be your _husband,_ Bella….I'm not ever going to be that seventeen year old miserable _boy _who attends high school for over a century. I'm going to be a _man_, Bella. A _husband_… I need to _look _like one," I conclude with a sigh, as I rub my nose lightly against hers. "Forgive me?" I murmur as I capture her lips in a kiss.

"Yes…" she says to me as she leans in and gives me a soft kiss in return. "I'm sorry I acted like such a baby. I was just taken by surprise. It's actually not as short as I first thought when you came in through the window," she says as she ruffles her fingers through my locks.

In truth, Esme only trimmed about an inch off the top of my unruly mop while simply shaping the sides and back. I also had her shave off the long side burns I had worn as a boy back in 1918. This look had come in and out of fashion over the years, but until recently I never gave it much thought.

However, I now realize how much my appearance might impact our future as husband and wife, particularly if Bella decides to put off her transformation for a few years. I know this isn't likely, but I simply don't want to rule out any possibilities.

When Esme had finished giving me my first shave and haircut since 1918, she gave me a kiss on my cheek and called me her "handsome boy." I read her thoughts, and they were so full of pride and love that I actually had to swallow a lump that formed in my throat.

"You…you look very handsome. And a LOT older…at least twenty-one," Bella says as she gives me another kiss. "Very….SEXY…"

I sigh into her mouth with a mixture of relief and desire. We haven't made love since she'd taken ill with strep throat. Between that, the arrival of her mother, our graduation, and the impending wedding tomorrow, there was never any time. I strain to hear Charlie's thoughts. Aha…we might be in luck…he's out of beer and is thinking about running into town for a six pack.

"Hey Bells, what time is Alice supposed to get here? I was thinking I'd have time to run into town and get a haircut myself," Charlie's voice bellows upstairs. I smirk at his words knowing the haircut is just an excuse to see if Sue is home. Sue is Harry Clearwater's widow, and Charlie has recently taken to "checking on her" several times a week. I have not shared this information with Bella just yet because I'm not exactly certain how she will digest the news that her father is thinking of dating someone after all these years. Hopefully, Sue has both scissors AND beer.

Bella looks at me and smiles as she hollers back to her father that Alice will be in here any minute. But she smiles even wider when I inform her that Alice has given me two hours to get Bella adjusted to my new hairstyle before she arrives.

"Hey, Charlie, er…DAD… Alice just texted me to say she's running behind schedule, so you have time for a haircut after all!" Bella yelled down to him. He answered her with a grunt as he shut the door behind him. I grimace when I hear him come storming back into the house and even more so when I read his mind before he shouts up to me.

"Hey, Edward…your Volvo is blocking my cruiser. Throw me down your keys, and I'll just take your car to town, okay?"

And so it begins. No one-I repeat-NO ONE has ever driven the Volvo except for me. Not even Bella. I let out a groan, and Bella leans over and gives me a little kiss just under my ear.

"_Please_…he _is_ going to be your father-in-law," she whispers pleadingly. I roll my eyes at her words, stand up, go to the top of the stairs, and throw him the keys. I barely manage to stifle a plea for him to be careful. He catches the keys, gives me a smug look, and I read his thoughts… _"Next time it'll be the Vanquish, kid. Becoming a father-in-law before I'm forty has to have some perks." _This time I don't manage to stifle a groan, but he is out the door before he hears me. He's too busy wondering how the hell I managed to arrive in my car AND be in Bella's bedroom while he was reclining on the couch. I watch in horror as he scuttles off to the Volvo, fires it up, strips the gears, and peels out of the gravel driveway. Hi-ho silver.

"Thank you, Baby," Bella says to me quietly as I turn around. Her face is shining up at me as she crosses over to my side, flings her arms around me, and gives me a hug. She knows how difficult this gesture was for me!

"You're very welcome," I whisper softly into her ear. She has the tiniest and sweetest little ears, no bigger than a baby's. I run my tongue on the outer shell delicately. She lets out a small moan, and I smirk a little to myself knowing that she likes it when I do this to her ears. She throws her hands around my neck in abandonment. I scoop her up gently and carry her over to her bed, lay her down, and sit down next to her.

"Take your shoes off and lie next to me," she says. I do as she asks and arrange myself next to her. We lay there side by side, our arms wrapped around each other, staring into each other's eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask with my forehead pressed against hers. How I wish I could read her thoughts. But with the exception of the time I heard her whisper "I love you" when Laurent paid us a visit last fall, her mind is completely silent to me.

"I know you wish you could read my mind Edward, but I'm glad you can't. I like that you can be still with me…you need the silence that you share with me," she says. I gulp; she is right. She is the only person in this mad, mad world that I can truly be at peace with at all times. Not having her thoughts invade my mind offers me a tranquility that I never have with anyone else.

"I never really thought of it that way, Love. But you're right. I feel completely at ease with you…everything about you invites me in. Your scent, your beauty, your quiet and brilliant mind…" I trail off. "Until I met you, Bella, I was never able to be close with anyone, not even my family. Do you realize that until I met you no one had ever gotten close to me physically since my transformation?" She looks at me intently, her brow raised in question. "I swear it's the truth, Bella. Aside from a pat on the shoulder from Carlisle or my brothers, and an occasional hug or kiss on the cheek from Esme, no one really _held m_e... I didn't think I needed or desired that type of familiarity, let alone intimacy. But then you came into my life and changed all that. Now I cannot even imagine going more than a few hours without holding you, kissing you, making love to you…" She brings my face closer to her and kisses me tenderly.

"I love you so much, Edward Cullen. _So very much_… After tomorrow, you'll never have to be alone again. We'll be able to stay together every night…_hold_ each other all night long. And we won't have to worry about Charlie listening to us, or your family. We won't have to be quiet when we make love either because we'll be in our own magical little cottage." My stomach flutters at her words; tomorrow she will be mine. _Mine…_

I lean over and say the word _mine_ possessively with a little growl. I know she likes it when I do that; I hear her moans and smell her arousal. I kiss her hungrily from her ear to her collarbone, trailing kisses further down as I slowly bite off each button of her blouse with my teeth. The sound of plink, plink, plink, as the buttons hit the floor heightens my senses….I want her so badly! She snakes one of her tiny hands into my britches and squeezes my backside gently. This causes my hips to thrust involuntarily as I let out a long groan. God, it's been far too long!

"Bella, please…want you…I need you so badly," I moan as I lick the top of her breasts longingly. One small nibble and her bra snaps and falls away. _Hello ladies…how I've missed you!_ I capture one rosy tipped nipple into my mouth and suck it very gently.

"Mmmm…Edwaaaard…" she moans. "I love it then you do that…" I take this opportunity to ease her zipper down, tugging her faded jeans off her milky thighs. Her hand reaches for my zipper. Its half way down… and I feel my erection freeing itself from the confines of my jeans… we are so close…so _very_ close…

"**Ahem!"**

We jump, both of us startled at the intrusion. Bella frantically tries to pull her shirt together as I hurriedly stuff my aching arousal back into my jeans.

"Alice…what the fu…" I start to say but stop myself when I read her thoughts.

Oh SHIT!

"Yes indeed, Edward… 'Oh shit' is right. Charlie got a flat tire about two miles down the road. Luckily for you, Rose and I were just heading into town to pick up some hairspray for Bella, and we spotted him. He jacked your car up, and I guess he didn't have the jack on right because it fell and ruined your rim. Needless to say Rosalie isn't too happy about having to replace a rim the day before your wedding!"

"Fuck! Oh, God Damn..." I stop when Bella gives me the evil eye. I swear this woman can read MY mind…she knows what I am going to say even before I do.

"Edward… please don't be mad at Daddy…he means well…" she trails off imploringly.

_Daddy? _

What the…Since WHEN did _Charlie _become DADDY? I give her a hard, quizzical look, and we both start laughing. It's not really that funny, but for some reason it makes us laugh to the point where I am howling, and she is snorting. I don't think I have EVER laughed that hard or that long. Alice looks at us both like we have completely lost our minds, but her face suddenly goes soft.

_Oh Edward…I am just so happy for you…_ Her thoughts are so sincere and so sweet that I duck my head into Bella's neck bashfully.

Aloud she says, "Edward…enough is enough. You'd better get going and help Charlie, er, _Daddy…" _She throws me the keys to the yellow Porsche that I bought her as a thank you gift for not giving up on me the day I almost made the biggest mistake of my existence; the day I almost left my Bella. I grab the keys in one hand and hop off the bed. I lean over and give Bella a light kiss and hand her my grandmother's quilt, which I had given her months earlier.

"I'll see you tonight," I whisper.

"Oh, no you won't," Alice informs me. "Tonight you are going hunting with Jazz and Emmett. You promised them, remember? Besides…Esme, Rose, Renee, and I are all coming over here to have one last girl's night with Bella. We're going to make popcorn, set each other's hair, give each other facials, manicures, and pedicures, eat chocolate, and watch Lifetime.

_Popcorn? Chocolate_? _Lifetime? _She cannot possibly serious! Half the women there don't even eat for Christ's sakes. This is my last night to be with Bella before we say _I Do._

"No," I say shaking my head adamantly. "Besides, what about Charlie, surely he'll be home? He's not going to want some… 'Chick fest' in his house while he's around," I say using air quotes. Did I honestly just use air quotes AND say "Chick fest"?

I did.

"Charlie's going to help Carlisle put up the back deck of your cottage. Carlisle already told him he could sleep at our house tonight and run him back here in the morning. The Romanians are staying at the B&B and the Denali clan is going hunting in Canada to prep themselves for the "human experience" tomorrow. That leaves the Cullen women at loose ends. Besides…we want to get to know Renee a little bit better. Everything at the house is already finished, so we'll see YOU tomorrow morning," she says firmly.

"So does that mean I can see Bella in the morning, too?" I ask hopefully.

Alice doesn't even bother answering; her thoughts on this subject are loud and clear.

_Not until tomorrow night, brother o' mine…_

Oh, for the love of all that is holy! I start to pinch my nose but see Bella's face, and I stop abruptly. She gives me a sheepish grin and a shoulder shrug. Drat…my attempts at lovemaking are foiled again! I give Alice a glare and ask her if Bella and I can have a few minutes alone since we are apparently NOT going to see each other until tomorrow after all. Arggghhh!

She agrees with a small frown, but it is soon replaced by a big grin.

"Okay…but be quick about it," she relents. "I know how _hard_ it is for you to leave her," she says with a devilish grin. I smile at her innuendo.

"I'll just wait outside for a few minutes. I need to call Jazz anyway and let him know what happened. But just remember…Charlie STILL has the keys to the Volvo, Edward. I think he's intent on taking it out on the highway as soon as Rose fixes the rim. And you KNOW how quick Rose is at fixing cars…" I let out a groan…leave it to Charlie and Rose to spoil our afternoon delight.

I walk over to Bella who has risen and is pulling a tee shirt over her head.

"Wait!" I exclaim, before she pulls the offending garment over her beautiful, bare breasts.

"I want to kiss them goodbye too," I murmur kissing each pink bud softly and regretfully. Bella sighs as I tug the tee shirt over her torso. We stand there and hold each other, swaying gently. The breeze from the open window ruffles her hair away from her beautiful heart shaped face. I bend down and place a soft kiss on her sweet, red lips, and she kisses me back tenderly. I tell her I love her, and she echoes my words back to me with a sigh.

"Gonna miss you…" she breathes.

"So much…" I whisper back.

"I'll see you tomorrow…_Mrs. Cullen_…" I say longingly…I cannot WAIT for those words to become true!

"That's gonna take awhile to get used to," she says with a little laugh.

"We have a _while_," I say as I capture her lips in another kiss. We sway in each other's arms for just a moment longer.

"Forever?" she asks, looking deeply into my eyes.

"_Forever…" _I promise with a smile. I kiss her one last time and crouch down low, springing out of her bedroom window for the last time. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough!

**A/N: Well folks, AFITR is coming to the end of its journey. When I started writing this story late last summer it was my intention that the entire story was all about Bella seducing Edward and nothing more. I was only going to write a chapter or two of pure, unadulterated SMUT, and the whole tale was to be told in the span of a three day weekend. However, as I continued to write a strange thing happened. The "voices" of the characters made themselves be heard and forced me to listen…they had a story to tell, and even though it was sometimes fluffy and full of sexiness, it was decidedly more than plain ole SMUT. As I delved into their personal accounts and back stories, I found myself drawn in more and more. After I submitted my first chapters, I realized two things: ONE- this story was going to be a LOT longer than I planned, and TWO…I desperately needed a beta! Coleen561 came on board about half way through the story and not a moment too soon. Together we fixed my existing chapters and carried on through present day. Coleen is the best editor a novice writer (like me!) could have…she is encouraging, supportive, mentoring, and so insightful. I couldn't have done this without her!**

**The next chapter will be the last. I will be posting it within the next two weeks. I do not plan on writing a sequel, though I have several outtakes (including Edward's detention ) and a heartfelt talk between Edward and Emmett following Emmett's return.**

**Thank you for all your reviews, encouragement, recommendations, and unfailing support!**

**Jayne**

**PS: Don't flame me because I gave Edward a haircut! I wrote this portion of the chapter MONTHS ago and long before I saw the stills and the movie trailer that showed Edward does indeed have a new hairdo. I felt that Edward was going to want a new look as he assumes a new role in life. After I saw the trailer for Breaking Dawn I was SHOCKED! He looks EXACTLY as I pictured him in this chapter; a bit more mature, but…Oh so HANDSOME!**

**PPS: A special thank you to Coleen561 for her awesome contribution with the lemony goodness under the Christmas tree AND the gymnasium bathroom. Oh, and every time Edward growls, "Mine!" yeah…that's _her _too. Coleen loves Caveward. Don't judge.**


	23. Chapter 24: Forever part one

**Special Thanks to my beta coleen561**

**I really couldn't have made this journey without you!**

Chapter 23

Forever

Part One

_Tree at my window, window tree,_

_My sash is lowered when night comes on;_

_But let there never be curtain drawn_

_Between you and me._

_Vague dream-head lifted out of the ground,_

_And thing next most diffuse to cloud,_

_Not all your light tongues talking aloud_

_Could be profound._

_But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed,_

_And if you have seen me when I slept,_

_You have seen me when I was taken and swept_

_And all but lost._

_That day she put our heads together,_

_Fate had her imagination about her,_

_Your head so much concerned with outer,_

_Mine with inner, weather._

I gaze out of my bedroom window and sigh. I miss the tree where Edward hid and waited within its leafy depths until Charlie fell asleep and then used its branches to launch himself through my window. That tree was special to me, and I cried like a baby the day I arrived home only to discover that Charlie had had it cut down. Yesterday I discovered this poem in my collection of poetry by Robert Frost. I was stunned by the symbolism as well as the words…it feels like it was written about us, every beautiful and lyrical word.

I put the book in my suitcase and sighed. I think I'll read it to Edward when we're on our honeymoon. I glance at my desk calendar and smile. June 19th…

Wedding Day!

Oh, my God…I cannot believe that the big day is actually here! At 7:00 this evening I will stroll down the aisle and say _I do_ to the man I love. My heart clenches at the thought. Mrs. Edward Cullen. _Bella Cullen._

Yesterday I sat here in my room and read everything I wrote about the incredible journey my life has taken over the last year. Who would have thought that the unhappy and mousy girl from Phoenix would board a plane, arrive in Forks, Washington, to live with her quiet and unfamiliar father, enroll in a tiny high school, and meet the man of her dreams? The guy with the golden eyes, and the messy bronze hair who once glared at me over a microscope like he wanted to kill me? And to later find out that he DID want to kill me.

I still remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Edward Cullen. It was so bizarre. It was like a camera shutter clicked in my brain and froze his image in my memory forever.

Forever…

Edward was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

He still is. Physically, he is perfect. From the tip of his coppery tresses right down to his ridiculously long toes. (Is everything on that boy long? Height, fingers, toes…his cock…) But seriously…he is perfect. His face is impossibly gorgeous…his ambiguous eyes…the eyes that change color…from gold to black, depending on his moods or his appetite. His aquiline nose…so aristocratic…so manly. Those cheekbones that any model would kill for. That chiseled jaw. That sweet and sexy mouth that has so many different smiles, including my favorite one…the crooked one. The one he only gives to ME. But it's what's behind that face that is the most beautiful. It's the way he looks at me…through me. As if he can see my soul and loves what he sees. The look he gives me… _his look_, the one that draws me in and makes me want drown with love and happiness. Gah!

I'm nervous. Not about getting married; I can't wait for that! But the wedding…ugh! I HATE being the center of attention.

My thoughts drift back to yesterday. I cannot believe that Alice forced Edward into a 24 hour exile from me. That was so damn cruel! But not as cruel as my wake-up this morning. Now THAT was harsh … my head is still aching from Alice's savage brushing of my tangled snarls and her brutal wielding of that damned curling iron. Not to mention Rose's sardonic commentary during her attempts to coax my wild tresses into submission. That shit hurt! Still, I don't want to think about that now. I'd rather think about the events that led up to it. Starting with last night…

Last night was so much FUN! Alice, Rose, Esme, and my mom were all here. We watched movies (Lifetime has NOTHING on my real life story!) and ordered pizza and drank wine coolers. The girls curled my hair on pink sponge rollers and plucked my brows (Ow…) They even conditioned Renee's hair…my mom seemed to love the attention, and it made my heart tug a bit when I realized how well she fit in with the Cullen women. She complimented them on their beautiful skin and glossy hair but there was keenness in the way she looked at them too…

My mother has always been a free spirit. She is intuitive and considerate; these are not bad traits, but when combined with her flights of fancy and her vivid and sometimes bizarre imagination, it can be disconcerting. So, when she gave Alice a penetrating look, Rosalie announced, quite suddenly, that "the party's over, time for bed!" Rose, Esme, and Alice left shortly after that, and my mother elected to stay the night on our sofa, finding it too weird to sleep in her ex-husband's bed.

The minute the door was closed and locked for the night, Renee asked me to sit down with her for a few moments before I went to bed. She patted the seat beside her on the couch, and I went and sat down next to her. She surprised me by pulling me into her arms for a tight embrace. I hugged her back and then shifted to move away, but she refused to let me go by hugging me harder and kissing the top of my head. I felt, rather than heard, her crying. I untangled myself from her arms as gently as I could and sat back looking at her as she tried to compose herself. She reached into her pocket to locate a tissue, found one, and brought it to her eyes and wiped them, and then she blew her nose into it laughing.

"Sorry," she said, still chuckling at her emotional outburst. But there was a hint of sadness in her eyes and I caught it. My mother was never good at hiding her emotions, especially from me.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked as gently as possible. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. Quite truthfully, I was afraid that she was going to try to talk me out of marrying Edward, telling me that I was too young, that there would be time for that kind of commitment years down the road. That we should wait. But she didn't say any of those things to me. Instead, she shocked me.

"Have I been a bad mother, Bella?" she asked sadly.

I sucked in my breath hard. "No!" I cried out. "You've been a great mom! I couldn't have asked for a better mother. You've always been there for me, Mom, even when you're not with me physically; you're always there, Mom. You're here," I said, pointing to my heart. "Always," I said even more firmly.

She smiled at me tearfully and then she spoke.

"Thank you, baby… thank you for saying that. But I know in my heart that I should have done better by you. When I left Charlie all those years ago, I was so young…too young to be a good wife. And I suppose, as immature as I was, I was too young to be a mother. But I loved you so much, Bella. I never want you to doubt that. From the moment you were born and I looked into your eyes, I knew that I would always do the best I could…that I would do anything for you. I promised you that I would. And even though we struggled sometimes to make ends meet, and I dragged you all over the country in an effort to find myself, I did my best to live up to that promise. And we grew up together, you and me. We learned together. And we had FUN, so much fun! But there were times, especially in the last few years, when I began to feel that YOU were the mother and I was the girl, especially after I met Phil. I tried so hard not to fall for him at first because I knew he was too young for me. But I couldn't seem to stop myself. The only man I had ever had a real relationship with was Charlie. And Bella, even though I knew it was wrong…it felt so right. For the first time in years I felt like a woman…he made me feel so loved. But Bella…I hated that you felt the need to leave us. I didn't want you to go and neither did Phil. We wanted you to come with us. I'm so sorry if we gave you the impression that we didn't want you."

I sat back against the pillows and tried to gather my thoughts before I spoke. My mother looked at me warily, afraid to hear my words. I rushed to reassure her.

"Mom, I never felt like you or Phil tried to get rid of me. I admit I chose to come to Charlie because I wanted you to have some private time with Phil. And I'm not going to lie to you…it was hard to leave you. I barely knew Dad. But he was so happy when I came to Forks. And Mom…he needed me. He needed to have some time getting to know me, to know what it was really like to have a daughter. And he's been a great dad to me, Mom, he really has. And look what ended up happening."

"You found Edward," my mother interjected softly. My eyes began to fill at her words.

Yes, Mom, I found Edward. Actually, I think it makes more sense to say that we found each other. And even though I know we're young, too young by most people's standards, I know he is the man for me. I'll never love anyone the way I do Edward. He takes care of me, Mom…he makes me feel safe, and protected and LOVED. And guess what? He needs ME too. Edward hasn't always had this perfect life…his biological parents died and so did his sister. He was sad for a long time, Mom. But he isn't sad anymore. He's happy. I'm happy. We're happy together. And as for you…you're wonderful. I know we're different types…I wish sometimes I could be more like you…carefree and light and breezy. I've got too much of Charlie in me, I suppose. But when I'm with Edward, I can finally breathe. He relaxes me and makes me feel lighter. When I'm not with him, I feel all empty inside. Not because I can't function without him, but because I feel whole and complete when I'm with him. Does that even make any sense?" I laughed wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

She sat back on the couch and gave me a brilliant smile.

"Yes, honey, it does. It makes perfect sense. You found your mate," she said simply.

"My mate?" I looked at her in alarm. Renee has always been entirely too perceptive…

"Your Soul Mate," she clarified.

I sighed with relief. She leaned forward and gave me another hug. This one was briefer than the last and thankfully not at all angsty.

"I know Edward will take good care of you, baby. He may be young, but he is just like you. He's an old soul, too. And I know in my heart that there is something different about him and his family. But oddly enough, I'm not at all worried about it." I looked at her in shock. She gave me a small smile and then surprisingly, a wink.

"You don't have to share any of that with me right now," she said in an effort to reassure me. "But make me a promise Bella…please." She looked at me imploringly. "If anything ever happens to you…anything at all…please don't attempt to hide it from me, or your dad. I don't think Charlie could take losing you now, no matter how difficult the situation might be. Let us know that you're all right. Let us continue to be a part of your life regardless of how small a part…no matter how weird or fantastical it might be."

I looked at her in astonishment. She touched my forehead briefly with her own. "Please, Bella?"

"I promise, Mom" I sighed after a long moment.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she said giving me a kiss on my temple. "You're going to be a beautiful bride tomorrow. And I know in my heart that you and Edward are going to be together forever."

She gathered her cell phone and stepped outside to call Phil back at the inn where they were both supposed to be staying, to say goodnight. I sat there on the couch stunned. My mother KNOWS, I thought. Maybe she doesn't know the details….but _she knows_. It made me feel better somehow. Maybe saying goodbye to her wouldn't be so hard now.

An hour later, after helping Mom pull out the sleeper sofa and putting the sheets on, I went to bed. I looked around my room for the last time as a single girl. In less than two hours it was going to be my wedding day, and I was beyond excited!

I went over to the new suitcases that Renee and Charlie had given me for graduation and peered inside. Edward refused to tell me where he was taking me for our honeymoon; all he said was to pack plenty of bikinis and summer clothes. This really confused the hell out of me because there was no way he could take me anywhere that was warm and sunny without risking exposure. I begged Alice to tell me, but she refused, as had Rosalie when I whined to her; she basically told me to 'shut the fuck up.' Alice was less blunt, but she did tell me that she promised Edward she wouldn't say anything about it to me. At first I was a little hurt that she sided with him in this instance. Then she reminded me that she had broken her promise to Edward last year when he was planning to leave me.

"Don't you know me well enough by now, Bella, to realize that if it was truly in your best interest I would tell you? But Edward really wants to surprise you…I don't want to ruin it for him. He's almost giddy with excitement about it!" That's when I decided to shut my trap and go with the flow. I would do anything to make Edward giddy with happiness regardless of how much I hated surprises!

I sighed as I closed the lid to my suitcase. Walking over to my desk, I picked up the packet from Dartmouth College, where Edward and I would be attending in the fall. Last month we had taken a long weekend, flown out to New Hampshire, and looked the campus over. I had been to New England once with Renee many years ago, and I absolutely fell in love with it. I told Edward all about the childhood trip I had taken with Renee the summer before I turned twelve. We had stayed for a week in Ogunquit, and I was completely enchanted by the ocean, the gift shops, and especially the Marginal Way, which was a mile long walk along the rocky cliffs that overlooked the Atlantic Ocean. It was absolutely beautiful. Edward became extremely excited when I shared this story with him. As it turned out, he knew the area well. His parents had a summer cottage not far from Ogunquit when he was a child, and as a human boy, he had spent many a summer walking the same paths as I had decades later. This thought gave us a feeling of destiny, and only confirmed what he and I both already believed in our hearts; we were meant to be together.

Our time at Dartmouth included a visit to one of the several homes that the Cullens owned in the US. Located less than fifteen miles from the campus, it was a large rustic two story home that was surrounded by one hundred acres of dense woods. It reminded me a lot of their home in Forks. This is where we'll be living when we're not in Washington, and as I had looked each room over carefully I realized that it already felt like home. Esme had decorated it similarly to their home in Forks, but she told me that Edward and I could add our own personal touches to make it ours. The entire Cullen family assured me that when I decided the time was right to undergo my transformation they would be willing to close up their home in Washington and move in with us in our home here to assist us in any way they could. It was comforting to know that we wouldn't be alone in dealing with my newborn behaviors. Edward had told me that newborns could be quite unpredictable. We agreed that when the time comes, we will both take some time off from school until I get acclimated.

I was still undecided about my major, but I knew that I was interested in two things: writing and forensic science. I love solving mysteries, and the class in biology, which I shared with Edward, sparked an interest in science. Plus…I am the daughter of Charlie Swan…I think in another life I probably would have been a cop!

Edward wasn't surprised at all when I told him of my interest. In fact, he told me that because of his years as a vigilante, he wishes he could somehow make amends by working with detectives to help locate serial killers. An _act of contrition_ he called it. This conversation led me to think that maybe someday the entire Cullen family could establish some sort of secret agency that would assist the police in solving crimes. What with Alice's ability to predict the future, Jasper's military training and organizational skills, and Emmett's need to protect and serve, it seemed like a logical choice. When I shared my ideas with his family, I was shocked at their enthusiasm. Even Rosalie approved of the idea, telling me that she would be interested in working with crimes that involved sexual abuse and the exploitation of women.

Anyway, nothing concrete about this idea has been decided, but it is certainly an exciting idea to contemplate. Edward told me that my ideas and thought s have given his siblings a renewed sense of purpose for the first time in their ridiculously long lives. Carlisle and Esme echoed his thoughts to me as well, which caused me to blush madly when Esme hugged me and whispered loudly, "You've brought ALL of us to life, Bella; thank you, sweetheart."

I put my packet from Dartmouth and the pictures of our weekend in New England away. It had been a magical weekend that largely took place at the quaintest inn known to man in nearby White River Junction, Vermont, but I was too tired to think much about it now. Maybe I'll write it down in my diary when we return from our honeymoon.

I climbed into bed exhausted, and was just lying there, missing Edward so much that my heart literally ached. I thought about picking up my phone and calling him. But something held me back. I'd put my hand on the cell, only to retract it. I did this several times before I finally settled my head on my pillows and forced myself to relax. I closed my eyes and tried to picture Edward's face. But as always, my imagination and my memory were crap when I tried to envision him. Instead I decided to concentrate on the way he makes me feel; all there and all gone, all at the same time. I sighed deeply into my pillow. I missed him!

Suddenly, I had heard a soft plinking sound at my window. I'd sat up in bed puzzled. I heard the noise again and hopped out of the bed and peered out my window. I'd let out a large gasp that morphed into a small sigh.

There in the moonlight was _Edward_. He stood in the clearing just under my window and beckoned me to come outside with a crook of his finger.

I bent down and slipped my feet into my scrubby, faded pink slippers (my "little rats" Renee always called them) and took off down the hall. I padded downstairs as quietly as I could; my heart pounded so loudly that I was afraid the sound would wake Renee who was snoring lightly on the sofa. As quietly as I could, I opened the door and closed it gently behind me. Then I took off running to the side of the house where he was waiting, waiting for me with open arms.

I ran into his arms, and he folded me into his embrace.

"Oh, Bella," he cried, "I missed you!" He captured my mouth with a toe curling kiss…the kind that left me feeling hot, cold, and completely boneless. His tongue was cool and wet as it explored the depths of my mouth. He ran his hand up and down my side and over and in between my breasts, panting into my mouth, "I missed you, I missed you, oh God, I missed you so much!" His kisses were frantic and wanting. I felt his arousal pressed against my hip as he scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to my truck and sat me on the hood.

"We shouldn't…I shouldn't …BE here. I know…I promised Alice. But God help me, I couldn't stay away. I had to see you, feel you, taste you…" he panted breathlessly in my ear. One of my pink rollers snapped open and slid to the ground leaving a trail of my dark and tangled curl in its wake. He laughed into my mouth a little and stood back to look at me fully.

"What IS this?" he chuckled, as his hand patted the curlers that covered my head. I laughingly told him that Alice had insisted on setting my hair before she left. He responded by kissing my neck and throat as he removed each roller quickly and effortlessly, allowing them to drop in the gravel driveway. He ran his hands through my thick hair until it was full and flowed freely over my shoulders and down my back.

"That's better," he sighed as he held my face gently between his hands. I reached up to him and brought his face down to my own and kissed his lips softly. I told him how much I loved him…that I couldn't wait for tomorrow…that I couldn't wait to become his wife.

"Bella, I know it's late, and we weren't supposed to see each other till tomorrow, but I couldn't wait another minute. I was out hunting with my brothers, and suddenly I looked up at the moon and I knew…I KNEW I had to see you; I had to hold you in my arms just one more time before you became my wife. I need you, Bella…need you so much."

"I need you too," I whispered back to him, "so badly."

He responded to my words by picking me up. "Wrap your legs around my waist," he murmured, "and hold on to me." I did as he asked, and then he took off running. I buried my face in his neck and held on to him tightly as he tore through the woods behind my house. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax, trusting him with every fiber of my being. I knew in my heart that he would never let me fall, would never let me get hurt. I always feel safest when wrapped in his arms.

The moon was brilliant in the darkened sky. He set me down and took my hand as we walked down the moonlit patch. When we came to the clearing, I gasped. We were in our meadow! He led me to the soft grass, and I saw with delight a large blanket that was surrounded by candles that were encased in little glass votives. They flickered softly, and I was drawn to them like a moth to a flame. He chuckled softly when he heard me gasp.

"I came here first to get this ready for you, love. We've never been to our meadow together at night, and this was something I've dreamt about, Bella. To see you naked in the moonlight, with your hair and beautiful body spread out for me…waiting for me to come to you…to make love to you. Please, Bella…_please_… I need you now. Tell me you want me too…" he trailed off.

I remember how my breath caught in my throat as he said these words and how his face, his impossibly beautiful face, shone in the moonlight. I'd never seen anything more magnificent than his face as he looked at me in that very moment. The planes of his cheekbones, the alabaster of his skin, the fullness of his lips, the way his hair flopped over his brow just a bit as it blew in the soft breeze that drifted in from the nearby redwoods. I shivered lightly, and he asked me if I was cold. I couldn't bring myself to speak. Wordlessly I shook my head and fell silently to my knees tugging him to join me. We knelt in front of each other for a moment looking deeply into each other's eyes. I reached up to his face with both my hands and held it gently as I pressed kiss after kiss over every facet of his face. I kissed his chin, his strong jaw, his wide forehead, his sculpted cheeks, the tip of his nose, and finally his gorgeous lips. Then I turned his face and wrapped my hands behind his neck and put my mouth to his ear.

"Yes," I breathed. "_Yes_…I want you too."

He took control then and kissed me hungrily as he removed first my camisole, and then my sleep shorts. I put my hand under his tee shirt and pulled it off him quickly, the collar messing up his hair. I took my hands and ruffled it further. Even though he cut it, it was still long enough on top to run my fingers through.

He laid me out in front of him and sat back on his knees watching me. My nipples hardened under his gaze. I didn't feel on ounce of self-consciousness; Edward always made me feel as though I were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes upon. Tonight was no exception. I stretched myself out fully and watched him between my lashes. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. I saw his nostrils flare, and I realized that he could smell my arousal. This realization made me go hot, and I let out a small moan as I felt the moisture increase within my depths. He let out a small growl…and then he pounced.

Suddenly, I felt him everywhere. His mouth, his hands, his arousal…all was pressing into me at the same time. Gasping and sputtering I grabbed his backside and realized he was still wearing his jeans. Frustrated, I tried to tug them down, but they refused to budge. He realized my dilemma and had them off so fast I barely noticed they were gone until I felt the satiny softness of his behind. I loved the feeling of his bottom…I stroked it softly and squeezed it with my hands as he peppered me with kisses. I felt him slide down past my throat as he put his face between my breasts, kissing and sucking on my nipples and bathing them with his tongue. God it felt good. So good.

He whimpered in my cleavage as he always did. There was something about my breasts that seemed to cause this response. I asked him about it once, and he just smiled bashfully and told me that nothing ever provided him with so much comfort and love than when his face was buried between my breasts. I almost laughed when he'd told me that till I saw his face. It was so shy and full of sincerity that it made my throat ache with love; I realized then that my body gave him something more than pleasure; it gave him security. It made him feel safe and protected, just as he always made me feel. And this knowledge filled me with womanly pride. I am his woman, I thought; His _mate…_

He raised his face up towards mine and kissed my mouth softly. The frantic energy that emanated from us just moments go had settled down a bit, though the current that buzzed between us was still just as strong.

"Bella," he'd murmured. "I…I don't want to take you hard…I want to make love to you. It seems like we never have time to make love to each other. I want to take my time with you tonight…I want to kiss you everywhere…your perfect little feet, your milky thighs, and most especially," he sighed longingly, "what's between those thighs. Then I want to kiss you on your belly and nibble just a little on your navel. I want to smother my face between your breasts and lick and suck on your luscious pink nipples till they pucker and burn for me. I want to caress your neck with my mouth and tongue, kiss the beautiful column of your throat. Then I want to turn you over and kiss your back and shoulders…your arms. I want to suck on your fingers one by one. I want to kiss my way down your spine and stroke your soft bottom and the back of your thighs and your knees. I want to kiss, and lick you…suck you… everywhere," he moaned.

Jesus…I was practically coming from his words! I was breathing hard and squirming underneath him trying desperately to create just a little friction to ease the ache between those damn milky thighs that he apparently lusted over. I had never in my life been as insanely aroused as I was in that moment.

"But, Bella," he whispered seductively into my ear. "I promised Alice that I wouldn't make love to you until our honeymoon. And I promised her I wouldn't see you on our wedding day until you came down the aisle. And there's so little time left in this day …" he moaned, as his voice grew deeper and huskier. He licked my ear and sucked lightly on the skin behind it. I felt my wetness seep out and run down my thighs soaking me. He inhaled deeply and let out a tight groan.

"So, since I always try to keep my promises to Alice…and there's so little time left…I guess…I guess… I'll just have to… _fuck you_…"

And with those words he grabbed my hips, threw my legs around his back, and thrust into me hard. I was so turned on…so pent up…so full of lust and love and longing that I found myself climaxing the second he entered me. I let out a long moan and grabbed his ass as hard as I could, and I felt myself contracting around him as he gasped and moaned loudly in my ear.

"Oh God," he grunted, "Are you coming already? Oh, Bella…_you are_…you're coming," he panted. "I feel you…you feel so good. Sooo fucking good."

Oh, my God! His words…Edward never talked like that! He never said fuck…well, not usually. It sounded so sexy and so dirty coming from his mouth.

"Oh God," I said as he pressed into me over and over again. He was so hard inside of me, so deep. But I knew without a doubt that even though this indeed felt like he was pounding unmercifully inside of me, that this was just a fraction of what he was truly capable of doing with his strength and his passion. I longed for the day when Edward was truly able to let go; to be as lustful and primal as his nature dictated. But _this_…this was more than he'd ever let himself go. I came harder than I ever had before.

"More…" he said as he thrust into me harder. "I want MORE…you're not done yet." He reached between us and rubbed me hard and fast. I arched my back as far as I could and felt another orgasm rip through me. "Ungh…" I cried his name into the cloudless night and held onto him tight.

I felt him harden inside and pulsate. "Oh, I'm going to…" he growled, "…I'm coming…Oh God…Bella…I am…I've stayed away from you like this for too long. I need to…It's happening…" He thrust inside of me one last time before he stilled his hips and grabbed my ass and pulled me up towards his chest. I felt his cool release spurt deep inside of me as he threw his head back and shouted my name to the sky, "Bella!"

He laid me back on the blanket still panting in my neck. I stroked his back and then his hair, and scratched his head softly. He was still inside of me…still so deep. I felt him harden once again. I lifted my hip up to him suggestively but he sighed into my shoulder and withdrew himself gently. I let out a small moan in protest. He chuckled into my neck.

"I'm sorry, Love. I want more too…I want you all the time. But it's late, and I promised Alice. I shouldn't have come to you tonight…but I couldn't wait. I needed you, Bella. I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked as he rubbed his nose delicately against mine.

"No, you didn't hurt me, Edward. I've told you before. You would never hurt me…not that you aren't capable of it, because I know you are…you're so strong. But you would never…you love me too much."

"I do…I love you so much, Bella. You are my life now. And after tomorrow we'll never have to be apart again. You'll be mine." He sighed happily into the warm June night.

"And_ you'll_ be mine," I reminded him.

"Utterly yours," he agreed. He grew silent, and I turned my head to look at him. "Bella, I wasn't being too vulgar when I asked if I could…_you know…_was I?" he asked anxiously.

I started to tease him about his sudden embarrassment when he asked if he could…_you know_…me, but I stopped when I saw his face. He looked so earnest, yet so sweetly bashful all at the same time. I brought his face closer to me and whispered that I liked it when he talked dirty to me. His eyes went dark as he kissed me hard. Then he mumbled into my neck that he'd have to file away that juicy tidbit of information for future references. Yes and please!

"Bella," he sighed as he brought my hands to his mouth and kissed them softly.

We lay in each other's arms for a few long minutes, not really talking. Just enjoying the solitude of the night and simply being together. All too soon the moment ended, and Edward reluctantly stood up and handed me my clothes and dressed himself quietly. He then blew out the candles in a single long and drawn out breath and swept everything up and shoved it all, including the blanket, into a large canvas bag that I hadn't noticed when we first arrived.

"I'll come back and get this later. I stole them from Alice's wedding decorations," he admitted to me with a grin. I laughed out loud as he gathered me up in his arms and hugged me to his chest. "It's almost midnight, sweetheart. I need to get you home."

He ran swiftly through the woods, and I closed my eyes, breathing in his spicy scent. I told him how much I loved him, how I couldn't wait until tomorrow evening when I would finally be his in the truest sense of the words. He stopped briefly to kiss me; his lips lingering over mine with longing and regret. We didn't want this night to ever end.

All too soon we were at my front door. He set me down and asked me if it was okay for him to let me go in the house that way instead of through my bedroom window.

"I…I don't want to go in your room as your fiancé, Bella. I said my goodbyes to it this afternoon. The next time I lay down with you in your little bed, I want to do so as your husband. It's my dearest fantasy," he babbled shyly. My heart strings tugged, and my heart suddenly felt too big for my chest.

We kissed each other goodnight, and I heard the timer on his watch go off. I looked at him in surprise. "It's one minute till midnight," he whispered. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweet girl. My Bella...I love you."

And with those words and the taste of his kiss still on my lips, he was gone. The breeze of his departure ruffled my hair and caused my heart to flutter.

"Good night, Edward Cullen," I whispered into the night. As I turned to go inside I heard a faint voice call out from deep in the woods. "Good night, Bella Swan."

I went inside and quietly crept passed Renee. I was so tired and full of sleep and sated that I barely remember getting into bed and closing my eyes.

"Bella, wake up! What the hell is this?" I opened my eyes startled. There was Alice sitting on the edge of my bed. In her hands were a dozen or so pink rollers. She dropped them one by one on the side of my pillow and reached over to my hair and pulled a long piece off grass out of its depths.

"I should have known my brother wouldn't be able to stay away from you last night. Now I know why Jazz came home early from hunting all keyed up. He was covering for his brother, just trying to distract me." She let out a long sigh and reached in her pocket.

"Rose, bring me the curling iron," she muttered into her cell phone. I groaned as she gave me the stink eye. I looked groggily at the clock on my dresser. Ten O'clock. This was going to be a VERY long day.

It was.

As I look in the mirror six hours later and gaze at the dark haired beauty whose image fills the glass, I am stunned. This cannot be ME…this woman with the flawless skin…all cream and roses, with dark sooty eyelashes and a rosebud mouth that is as pink as the flower itself…THIS woman couldn't possibly be ME. My hair falls over my shoulders in soft, long, dark curls; the sides are swept away and pinned in the back with Grandmother Swan's diamond and sapphire combs. My ears twinkle with small diamond and sapphire earrings that Edward had sent with Alice this morning in a tiny black velvet box with a little note:

_My Isabella,_

_Happy Wedding day, sweetheart! These earrings were the ones my mother wore on her wedding day many years ago. My father gave them to her as part of her wedding present, and I would love for you to have them now. They are a mere token of what I plan to spoil you with every day of our lives together._

_I count the seconds until tonight when you will finally be mine. I am already yours, now and forever,_

_Edward_

I touch the lace of my veil; the veil that was made from the lace that Edward's Irish cousins had gifted me months ago. Alice has created the finest veil that any bride has ever worn. The lace is so finely tatted that it looks as if fairies had lifted it from a beautiful dream. And my gown is truly lovely; slightly off the shoulders, it is nipped tightly in the waist only to fall sleekly down my hips to a soft of flowing skirt that touches the tips of my white satin pumps. The back drapes down dramatically and is covered with tiny satin buttons, as are the arms of the sleeves. The train in very long, but per my request, is detachable, which will hopefully make it easier to navigate my clumsy self on the dance floor. The entire gown is made of slipper satin, and while it is pure white, there is a pearlescent finish to it that reminds me a bit of Edward's beautiful face when he's caught in the sunlight. I smile to myself when I think of that face later tonight when he discovers what I have hidden underneath my bridal attire; all pale blue satin and lace. I even have real silk stockings and garters; compliments of Esme.

'_Edward will love these undergarments, Bella. It is what women of his era would have worn under their gowns.' _

I blushed wildly when she shared this with me; even though she is not Edward's biological mother, she is for all intents and purposes his mom!

"Bella?" I turn towards my bedroom door to see a very distinguished looking Charlie in the doorway. "Can I come in?" he asks uncertainly.

"Yes, you can come in, Dad," I say laughing a little at his awkwardness.

"You…you look beautiful, honey," he says with a surprisingly emotional voice. Charlie is not one for overt emotions, that's for sure. He walks into my room and sits down heavily on the side of my bed, the long tails of his tuxedo jacket flop by his knees, and I chuckle.

"I look ridiculous in this penguin suit," he mutters, his eyes cast down on the floor.

"No Dad, you don't. Not at all," I rush to assure him. "But your bow tie is crooked." He stands in front of me, and I straighten it out accordingly. "There that's better," I say with a smile.

"The flowers are here," he says. "Your mother is bringing them up to you in a minute."

I nod my head briefly and try to gauge his mood. He seems a little sad.

"Dad, are you going to be okay living here on your own again? I know you haven't had me back here for long, but I worry about you. When I first arrived here last year you didn't take very good care of yourself. I know it wasn't much, but I did my best to make sure that you had something to eat besides steak and cobbler from the Forks Diner. I hope you're not going to revert back to your old habits," I tease slightly.

"Bella, I don't want you to worry about that. I've…well…the truth is…I've sortabeenseeingsomeone…" he says in one long breath. I laugh out loud at his obvious discomfort.

"Sue Clearwater?" I tease. I've known for some time now that Charlie had been sneaking off to the reservation, supposedly to check on Harry Clearwater's widow. He looks at me in surprise.

"I didn't realize you knew," he says awkwardly.

I nod my head happily.

"Yes Dad, I knew. At least, I suspected. No one needs to go to town at the same time every night for beer and toilet paper. Besides, I checked the mileage on your cruiser a few times. Always 11.5 miles right on the dot.

Charlie throws his head back and laughs. "You'd make a great cop; you know that, Bella?"

I laugh back. "A chip off the old block," I say in agreement.

He stands there looking at me for a long moment and suddenly reaches over and gives me a kiss on my cheek. My eyes fill with tears; Charlie is rarely demonstrative with his affection.

"I'm really going to miss you, Bells. But even though I still think you're both too young to get hitched, I know that you and Edward will be happy together. And to be honest, I was extremely impressed with him when he told me that you two were going off to Dartmouth together and that he wanted to do it right. Not too many kids like Edward these days, that's for sure."

I smile at him gently, turn to my dresser, and take the small box that is sitting there and hand it to him.

"Happy Father's Day, Dad. This is a present from Edward and me. Actually, he paid for it, but we picked it out together. I…WE hope you'll like it." I hold my breath while he accepts the present and opens the box. I watch his expression carefully as he lifts the lid and takes out a silver keychain. He looks at me puzzled. I hand him the picture I had set next to the box. He takes it from my hands carefully and looks at it; his eyes grow as round as saucers.

"What…what IS this Bella?"

It's a Volvo sedan, just like the one Edward drives," I say nonchalantly. "Only his is silver and it is two years older. We placed the order for yours yesterday afternoon."

I smile recalling how Edward had called me as soon as he returned home after being forced to leave my house by Alice. He was so excited at the thought of presenting Charlie with his very own Volvo. "Bella, you should have read his mind when he drove my car to town this afternoon. He was like a kid at Christmas. I'd really like for us to give him one of his own; perhaps for Father's Day." I argued with him of course, but he was sweetly persistent, and I found myself caving within minutes of our conversation. Edward sent me several e-mails with various descriptions from the local Volvo dealerships. It didn't take long for him to seal a deal; I'd learned long ago that once his vampire mind was made up, he was able to accomplish what would take humans days to do within a matter of a few hours. Alice had brought me an uncut key last night along with the picture.

"I told Edward that you liked the color green, and he found one in Seattle. It's going to be delivered next week while we're on our honeymoon. This is just a blank key Dad; we just wanted you to have something to open," I say. I hold my breath waiting for his reaction.

Charlie just stands there with his mouth hanging open and his eyes bulging out of the sockets. I giggle at his expression; he looks incredulous.

"It's…it's too MUCH, Bella! I can't accept a present like this. Besides, what eighteen year old kid can afford to spend that kind of money on a car for his soon to be father-in-law?"

"The rich kind, Dad," I say with a wink. "Also, the sweet, thoughtful, and generous kind…which Edward is," I remind him. "Please don't say no, Dad. This is something he really wanted to do for you. We would have given it to you together tonight after the wedding, but I told him I was afraid you'd make a scene and refuse to accept it," I beseech him with my eyes. He smiles at me then, all big and toothy.

"I…I can't believe he…that you both… did this for me," he says, his voice still sputtering.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, he plans to give Mom the Mini Cooper she's been dreaming about next year for Mother's Day," I say with a laugh.

"Thank you, honey," he says, his eyes gleaming just a little.

"You're very welcome," I say giving him a small peck on the cheek.

We stand there looking at each other awkwardly for a moment, and then my mother is at the door, her arms full with a beautiful bouquet of white roses, blue forget-me-not's, orange blossoms, and delicate Sweet peas. Ribbons of the palest blue satin spiral down from its creamy depths; it is absolutely gorgeous, and while it is not wildflowers, the colors remind me of the ones in our meadow.

"Edward sent these over, honey. Aren't they fabulous?"

I nod my head happily.

"Alice called to tell me that she's on the way with Rosalie. They want to take a few candid shots before the ceremony. I can't believe what a beautiful day it turned out to be. Not a drop of rain…though the sun is still hidden by clouds. Hopefully it'll peak through before sunset," she prays. I laugh to myself; Alice KNOWS exactly the condition of the sun today…that's why we are able to hold the ceremony outdoors. I haven't seen the way she decorated it yet, but I know it's going to take my breath away when I do. Alice's vision assured me of that just last week.

I hear a horn beep from the driveway and peer out the window. Rosalie is sitting in the vintage Rolls Royce that she and Emmett bought together back in the late thirties when THEY were newlyweds. "The first time around," Edward had muttered. Alice is getting her camera and a bottle of what looks to be champagne out of the trunk. She looks up at me standing in the window and waves merrily.

Charlie holds his arm out to me, "Are you ready, Bells?"

I place my hand on his arm and my mother takes the bouquet. I take one last look at my room and Charlie tells me that he'll come back later to grab my suitcases in time for honeymoon departure.

"Yes, Dad I'm ready," I say with surprising confidence. I go to the door and walk with him slowly down the stairs for the last time as Bella Swan. I'm ready to face my future, knowing in my heart that today truly is just the beginning of my forever.

**A/N: Thank you so much for your patience with this update and for all your support. It has been an amazing journey and I thank you all for coming along for the ride! This is part one of two in the final full chapter of AFITR. The second part will be told from EPOV abd should be ready in a few weeks. (Or sooner if RL ever manages to settle down!) There will be an epilogue as well.**

**Thank you to all of my faithful readers who have been with me since day one. Your kind words, support, and friendship mean so much to me! I would also like to thank my buddies from A Different Forest for mentioning and recommending this story. My reviews jumped considerably with just a few nice words, and it has been wonderful getting to know all of you on this portal. To those readers who aren't members of ADF I highly recommend you visit this site. Jump right in, the waters fine!**

**AFITR is up for several Shimmer Awards which is very flattering. My beta coleen561 is a contender for best banner...and the one she made for AFITR deserves some recognition. It's awesome!**


	24. Chapter 25 Forever Part Two

Chapter 26

Forever

Part two

Edward's point of view

"Edward, may I have a few words with you?"

I turn around to see Carlisle standing at my bedroom door. I hadn't heard him approach; I was busy trying to get the last minute details of the wedding trip ironed out.

The wedding trip! If anyone had told me two years ago that I would be planning my honeymoon I would have laughed outright!

Yet here I am on the eve of what would have been my one hundred and tenth birthday, straightening my bow tie, donning a tuxedo, and preparing to take my vows, - to a human girl no less! And not just any human girl either; I am marrying the love of my existence. The girl who captured my heart, eased my mind, soothed my soul, made my dead heart beat, and who with her unfailing love and support, brought me back to life. For a moody, broody vampire like me that is quite an accomplishment.

"Of course, Carlisle, please, come in," I said looking at him somewhat warily. I realize now why I hadn't heard him approach when he knocked on my door; he was blocking me from reading his thoughts. Concerned, I ask him if something is troubling him, but he only shakes his head and gives me a wry smile.

"Take a walk with me," he says. I look down at my watch. It's nearly 6:00 p.m., and the wedding guests will be arriving soon. Carlisle seems to sense my confusion and lets out a small chuckle.

"Fear not, Edward. I'll have you back in plenty of time to stand at the altar waiting for your bride. In fact…I'll be standing there right next to you," he says with another laugh.

Relieved, I put the airline tickets and our passports back on my desk. I'll leave them there until after the ceremony; no need to stuff them in my back pocket.

I follow Carlisle downstairs, and we head out the door and walk side by side down the narrow path that leads to the river on the far end of our property. When we get to the broadest part of the river and cross the small wooden bridge that spans it, he halts and turns to me rather abruptly. I stop in my tracks and turn to him with a raised brow trying to get a read on his thoughts. His mind is still blocking me.

"What is it?" I ask, somewhat alarmed.

He opens his mouth as if to speak then closes it. He reaches into the jacket of his tuxedo and pulls out a long envelope. It is yellowed and brittle with age; that much is apparent. There is flowing script written on the front. The writing is faded, and I don't recognize the penmanship. Silently, he hands it to me, and I gasp when I see to whom it is addressed.

_Teddy…_

Puzzled, I look up at Carlisle who takes a deep breath in an effort to calm himself.

"Edward, I've had this letter in my possession for many years. I've never opened it. Your mother gave this letter to me about an hour before she died. Apparently, she dictated it to the nurse who had cared for her while she was in hospital. She requested that I give it to you in the event of her death. As I have already told you, your mother was very determined that I do everything within my powers to save you. It was her dearest wish that I present this letter to you whenever I saw fit. I realize I probably should have given it to you years ago, but in all honesty, you never desired to discuss your human life until recently. The few times I attempted to broach the subject of your sister's death and your parents' demise was a total disaster. You claimed you had no use for such a discussion as you did not retain any memories of your past. I respected your wishes even though I thought it would be therapeutic for you to at least bring some of these memories to the fore. But…as I said, you refused to do so. In any event, it has come to my understanding that Bella's love has been the key that has unlocked the memories of your human life. With her love and support, you've finally allowed yourself to re-visit your past in great detail. I cannot express to you how happy I am that this has occurred. Son…the change in you in these past months has been remarkable. Bella has performed a miracle…she truly has brought you back to life."

My hand reached out to take the letter from Carlisle's hand, and I let out a strangled sound; a letter from my mother…how extraordinary!

"I'm so sorry that I kept this a secret from you all these years, but I gave her my word that I would only give it to you when I felt the timing was right. Today is that day," he said awkwardly.

I could tell by his thoughts that he was anguished over not sharing this letter with me decades earlier, and I rush to reassure him that I understand and that I am not upset in any way with him; though I admit I am thrown for a loop.

I carefully open the envelope and pull out the letter. An eerie feeling passes over me as I realize that my mother's eyes were the last to have seen the contents of this letter. Although it is indeed written in someone else's hand, I recognize her familiar and distinctive signature sprawled at the bottom of the letter. I notice that her signature was obviously penned with a shaking hand and that it faded away on the last few letters; a metaphor for her final hours of life.

Carlisle claps me on my back and tells me he will wait for me on the path. Anxious to see what she wrote, I begin to read. My throat catches just a bit as a strong wave of emotion comes over me.

_My darling Teddy,_

_I am laying here only two doors away from you, yet I feel as though we are worlds apart. Because I am sick myself, I am not allowed to leave the confines of this room to visit you. How I wish I could do so; I long to smooth back your hair and wipe the sweat from your handsome brow. But as I am unable, this kind nurse has agreed to pen down a few words from me to you._

_When I brought you to the hospital three days ago, I was feeling physically fine, though my heart felt as though it were cleaved in two. Your poor father had just passed away after being stricken only three days earlier, and then I found you lying prostrate on your bedroom floor. It was such a heart wrenching sight for me to see._

_Ah, Teddy, I have so much to say to you, and so little time I fear, to set things right. My sweet boy, you have always been such a precious gift to me, and I regret so much that the last few years I have not been able to communicate to you the extent of the love and pride I feel for you, my first born child. _

_Teddy, after we lost our beloved Lottie, it was as if a cloud was ever present in my life. I could see through the cloud, but I couldn't get around it, I felt the heaviness of it every day. It never lifted, no matter what I tried. _

_As you know, I have spent the last few years trying desperately to seek the answers as to why our precious little girl, a child that I so dearly longed for, could have been taken from us so soon. My heart was truly broken when we lost Lottie, though the loss of her is nowhere as acute as the loss I now feel from you. So many years I lost with you, Teddy, so much time._

_My darling boy, I have never blamed you for the death of your sister. I need you to know that. You were a wonderful brother to her, and she doted on your every move. I have never seen more devoted brothers and sisters such as you two were. You were so kind to her, Teddy, so attentive. What happened to Lottie was horrible to be sure, but it was an unfortunate accident, of which you were not to blame. _

_Can you forgive me for being so neglectful to you in these last few years? I pray that we both survive this dreadful disease and that we may begin to heal our wounds together. However, I know how insidious this disease is, having witnessed the loss of so many friends and family members, who are here one day, only to be gone the next. Should you survive and I do not, then I have asked Dr. Cullen to give you this letter when he feels that you are recovered and ready to receive it._

_Every mother wishes that her children find true and everlasting love, Teddy. I pray that one day you will meet a wonderful girl who will make your heart sing and take your very breath away. And when you meet this lovely girl, I hope that she will love and care for you with all her heart. No one should venture into this world alone; no one._

_Sometimes true love does not run an easy course. You know that was the case with your dear father and me. What you may not know is that I tried very hard to leave your father after we met and fell in love. Because our stations in life were so vastly different, I did not feel as though I was worthy of his love. Shortly after we were discovered by his mother, I packed my bags and fled to Scotland and returned to the home of my childhood. I was heartbroken to be sure, but I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. I pined for your father every night, and grew so sad and solemn that my own dear mother felt that I was not long for the world. After a few weeks your father came to claim me, but I stubbornly refused to see him. He never gave up on me. He climbed the tree outside my bedroom window and pleaded with me every night to return to him. I buried my face in my pillows and tried in vain to drown out his voice and his words. After several days, my father threatened to chop down the tree and shoot the 'poor love sick bastard.' That was when I finally came to my senses, and we were married within a fortnight._

_I wanted to share my little love story with you. As you know, I am a hopeless romantic, and I believe that everyone has a love story to tell that should be passed down through the ages. Will you do that for me, son? Share my story with your future wife and later with your own children. Perhaps someday you will have a bonny daughter or a fine son of your own. How I wish I could be there to witness this. I know you will make a wonderful husband and kind father. You are so good with children!_

_I am getting weaker now, so I must close. I have begged Dr. Cullen to do everything within his power to save you, regardless of what measures he might have to take. _

_I love you with all my heart. You have the most beautiful countenance and soul. If we are destined to leave this life now, then I shall see you in the great hereafter. _

_Till we meet again,_

_I remain your loving_

_Mum_

My hand is shaking, and I feel my throat getting tight. I cannot believe that this letter was in Carlisle's possession all these years. Oddly enough, I am not angry with him; I read his thoughts as clearly as I read my mother's letter. Carlisle gave me this letter now because my mother somehow trusted him to know when to give it to me. It is wonderful to know that my mother never blamed me for my sister's death and that she was sorry that our final years together were denied to me by her frantic need to re-connect with Lottie's spirit. I enjoyed her love story with my father; the way he climbed the tree outside her bedroom window and begged her to return to him makes me smile. I know that Bella will enjoy hearing this tale and that she will spend endless hours teasing me that the apples don't fall far from the tree.

I think about the last year and realize that Carlisle was right; Bella gave me the strength I needed to forgive myself where Lottie's death was concerned. With her unfailing love and support, I was able to forgive Teddy and therefore save myself. Not only did Bella bring love into my life, she helped me find my soul.

I sigh a little when I think about my mother's comments that I would make a wonderful father; how I wish more than anything that were possible. But though I feel a little wistful about our inability to realize this dream, I have come to terms with it. Bella is my future, and I believe her when she says that I am hers.

I put the letter away carefully inside my waistcoat pocket and glance at my watch. Six thirty….in less than thirty minutes, Bella will be my wife!

I hurry down the path to see Carlisle, who is waiting anxiously for me on the bridge. He looks at me with a raised brow and a sympathetic smile. I read his thoughts, and they are full of regret. I rush to assure him that I have no ill feelings towards his decision to wait to give me this letter, and I thank him for keeping it safe for me all these years.

"Edward, I…"

I put my arm on his shoulder and squeeze it lightly.

"No, Dad, you have nothing to be sorry about. Receiving this letter today makes it all the more special. There have been times in recent months when the memories of my human life were stronger than they were even shortly after I was changed. The letter makes me feel somehow closer to her…like in spite of everything a part of her is with me today.

"Edward, I wish that both your parents could be with you today…" he trails off sadly.

I look at him in the eyes and say, "They are, Carlisle. You and Esme are both here. You two are the best parents anyone could have asked for. You've provided me with guidance, understanding, companionship, friendship, wisdom, and love though out the years. I admired my birth father, Edward Masen; he was a good father, and I loved him. But you have been every bit as much of a real father to me all these years

Carlisle grabs me suddenly and holds me roughly against his chest. "Thank you, Edward, for saying that to me. It hasn't always been easy living with the guilt...you were so unhappy for so many years. But seeing you now, standing here at the precipice of your new life…well, Son, no father could be prouder."

I feel my throat growing tight, and I swallow hard in an effort to quell the rising emotion within me. Just when I fear that I will not be able to stifle a sob, loud thoughts interrupt us, and I see the trees in front of us rustle in the breeze. I look up to see a flash of dimples; my brothers have come to the rescue!

"Dude, are you two still acting all emo? Cuz Rose is chomping at the bit. Seriously…she's sitting at that damn piano waiting to play freaking chopsticks or something."

"Yeah, DUDE…" Jasper says, mocking Emmet's words. "Alice sent us to come and get you. The guests are seated, and Bella and Charlie are waiting in the living room for Alice to give them the signal so Bella can make her grand entrance."

"Are you ready, Edward?" Carlisle asks with a smile.

I take a moment to catch my breath and nervously run my fingers through my hair. "Do I look alright?" I ask a bit self consciously.

"You look beeyootifull!" Emmet sings out to me with a broad grin. "Seriously man, you've never looked hotter; I'd totally do you if I swung that way," he teases.

Jasper looks at me intently, and I feel myself calming in a way that only he knows how to achieve. I smile at him in appreciation, and he mutters, "You're welcome," in a low drawl. I chuckle in spite of myself as we begin walking towards the clearing where in a few minutes I will recite the vows that will alter my life forever.

AFITR

Carlisle and I take our positions at the altar. The bower of lilacs, roses, and freesia hang heavy over our heads. I look straight ahead as the last of the guests are seated. Making eye contact with Tanya and her sister, Kate, I smile when I read their thoughts.

Kate is grinning at me broadly thinking, _I'm so happy for you, Edward. I never felt Tanya was good enough for you anyway, _and I chuckle to myself.

Tanya's thoughts are as they always are whenever she is in my midst: _Oh, Edward…it should have been you and me. Ah well, perhaps there is another fine looking male specimen that I can take back to the hotel tonight. Hmm…that young boy with the blonde hair looks delightfully innocent. I think I might like to change all that…_

I grin when I see the image of Mike Newton in her mind's eye. Poor Jessica, I thought to myself. And she was jealous of Bella!

Bella…

The sounds of Wagner's Bridal March fill the air, and I hold my breath as I see Alice and Jasper stroll side by side down the aisle. The tempo of the music begins to swell, and I watch eagerly as Charlie escorts my beautiful bride down the flower strewn path.

In my entire existence, I have never seen anything more beautiful than Bella at this moment. I must gasp aloud when our eyes finally meet because I hear a rumble of soft laughter coming from the seats of our wedding guests. I smile broadly, and my chest swells when I see her grin in return. That grin adds a bit of levity to the seriousness of the moment.

Charlie pauses in front of Bella as he lifts the veil from her face. The warmth and beauty of her smile fills my soul to the brim; it is like the early morning sun pushing away the shroud of mist and fog that sometimes lingers over the land after a long night. He bends down, gives her cheek a small kiss, and then murmurs, "Are you sure, Bells?" in her ear. She lets out a small chuckle and nods her head in answer to his question. Satisfied, Charlie places her tiny hand in mine and takes his place next to Renee and Phil.

Alice takes the bouquet of wildflowers that I sent to Bella earlier this morning and, as instructed by Reverend Weber, I take both of her hands in mine as we recite the vows that bind us to each other for all of eternity.

_**Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the love of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan…**_

AFITR

After the brief ceremony, we are accosted by our wedding guests and family. Everyone is talking and laughing and congratulating us all at once. The air is flooded with sights and smells from both vampires and humans. Bella and I can't stop grinning and laughing as we are hugged, kissed, and wished well by everyone. It is a heady and almost surreal moment. I am a husband. Bella is now my wife. My WIFE!

All too soon it is time to be seated so our guests can partake of the sumptuous feast that Esme and Rose have prepared. Bella and I were a bit concerned that the humans would notice that our vampire family and friends would not be partaking of the food and drink, but Alice assured us that this would not be the case since everyone would be too busy having fun and celebrating to notice. From the cheers and laughter filling the air, I had to agree with her prediction.

Once the champagne glasses are filled, Emmett steps forward to deliver his toast. He lifts his glass to us and gives us a wink. I groan internally when I hear his thoughts as he prepares to give his speech.

"Bella and Edward…I'm standing here today in front of two of the greatest people I have ever known. Though, if I'm honest, and as everyone here knows, I am always straight up and to the point, I never in a million years would have guessed that this day would come. You see folks…last September my stupid brother here almost left this beautiful girl because in his mixed up head he thought he wasn't good enough for her."

I hear a little gasp come from one of the tables, and I roll my eyes when I realize it's coming from Charlie. Thanks a lot, Em!

"Anyway…Miss Bella here caught wind of it somehow, and to her credit, called him out on his shi, er…nonsense. And for the first time in my brother's life, he actually manned it up and talked to her…really talked to her. They fought, talked, laughed, cried, and Edward finally managed to remove the stick from his ass."

"Did he remember to cancel that appointment with the proctologist?" Rosalie interjects.

At this, the wedding guests burst into laughter that ranged from polite titters to raucous belly laughs. I roll my eyes and groan. Bella leans forward and presses a little kiss to my temple.

"From what I understand, it was quite the weekend of firsts," he continued, waggling his eyebrows. Another titter of soft laughter and one small growl can be heard from the tables.

_What weekend_…Charlie ponders as his detective mind goes into overdrive. I can almost see his mental calendar ticking the months away as he puzzles over Emmet's remarks.

"In any case, it was the weekend that changed everything for both of them. I, for one, couldn't be happier. I finally get to see my brother happy, and I know that Bella Swan…"

"Cullen," yells my bride in a laughing voice.

"Excuse me! Bella CULLEN…has everything to do with this change. So, to Bella I say from the bottom of my heart, thank you sweet girl, and welcome to the family. I'm gonna try real hard to be a good big brother to you if you'll let me."

I look over at Bella and see her eyes flood with tears, and this time it is me who leans over to give her a small kiss on her temple. The sound of spoons clinking against the champagne flutes reverberates in the air.

"To Bella and Edward," Emmett calls out. Everyone raises their glasses, and we kiss as the crowd cheers.

After awhile, Bella and I are called to the dance floor to have our first dance together as husband and wife. I look into Bella's dark eyes and say, "Shall we?" Alice is serving as the mistress of ceremonies, and she leans into the microphone and says, "For the first time, I would like to officially present Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." The lilting music of our song fills the air, and Bella lays her head against my shoulder. I kiss her on her neck and laugh lightly into her hair.

_Have I found you  
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, American mouth…__  
_

She looks up at me and says with a grin, "These have to be the most unromantic lyrics set to the most romantic music ever! I mean…who picks a wedding song about rats pissing on magazines?"

"We do," I laugh back as I gently run my nose against hers. 'Flightless Bird' was our special song and even though we both agreed that the lyrics didn't exactly fit with a wedding, the music did. Besides, it was _our song_. Pissing animals notwithstanding.

"I can't believe that we're finally here," she sighs laying her head on my shoulder.

"I can't believe that you're finally mine," I whisper in her hair. "Bella…" I ask quietly in her ear, "I'm sorry about last night…" She lets out a small gasp of surprise and pulls back to look at me.

"What on earth for? It was one of the most magical nights of my life. The moon, the meadow… making love…"

"Making love?" I ask with an arched brow. "You mean when I told you that I was going to fuck you?" I laughed darkly. "That's hardly making love, Bella. You deserve so much more than that…I shouldn't have said that to you the night before our wedding. It was tactless, and…

"The sexiest fucking thing I've ever heard," she interrupts with a whisper. I let out a small moan, and I hear Emmett chuckle in the audience. Bella and I both laugh as I nuzzle my face further into her neck.

"I can't believe we're talking about _fucking_ during our wedding dance," she mutters against me as she pinches my back as hard as she can.

I chuckle lightly against her neck. I can't believe we're dancing at our wedding at all. I never in a million years thought we'd get here. Bella nudges my face with her shoulder, and I lift my head up and gaze into her brown eyes. For a second, no, more like a moment, I think I hear her voice in my head saying, "I love you, Edward." She nods her head at my expression, and I gasp; I DID hear her say it in my head!

"I've been practicing," she whispers. "Now shut up and kiss me you ridiculous vampire," she says as she presses her mouth to my ear. I oblige accordingly, and our kiss grows heated as I recall with perfect vampire memory way she looked last night with the wind dancing in her hair. The way she smelled. Her heat. The sounds she made.

"I love you too," I whisper tenderly in her ear.

"Mmm-hmm, that's why we're here, silly boy," she teases me as she presses her lips against mine for another kiss. We settle our faces against neck and chest and sway to the music.

The wine glasses begin to chime once more, so I obey the chants from the crowd and the desires of my heart as I lift her chin back up and kiss her a little more deeply than was probably appropriate for the dance floor.

"Leave something for the honeymoon you two!" Emmett's big mouth booms. The crowd laughs, and the song comes to an end.

The other wedding guests begin to move themselves to the dance floor, and Bella and I return to the head table. Carlisle comes over to congratulate us both again and officially welcomes Bella into the family by giving her a Cullen Crest necklace. She thanks him with teary eyes, and he hugs her in return. Carlisle is not overly demonstrative with his physical expressions of affection. (Though he does make an exception with Esme!) On what seems like an impulse, he asks her if she would do him the honor by accepting a dance. She looks at me with a wink and asks, "If it's all right with my husband…" I chuckle as I lean forward and press a kiss on her temple as Carlisle takes her hand, and they proceed to the dance floor. I head over to the parents' table and sit and talk with Esme for a bit. Suddenly, I'm startled by the voice of Charlie Swan speaking directly to me. I look up expecting to see his dark mustache in front of me, but to my amazement, he is nowhere in sight.

Wait…what?

_Edward?_

I swallow hard: no doubt about it, I definitely hear Charles Swan speaking to me – in my head!

_Edward, if you can hear me I want you to lean over and pick up the napkin that Esme dropped on the ground. _

I let out a little gasp as I turn around to see where he is. My eyes locate him quickly. He is standing at the bar getting a fresh bottle of beer and a gin and tonic for Sue. Our eyes meet for a brief second as I slowly reach for the napkin and pick it up. I set it down on the table and wait for him to speak again. It doesn't take long.

_Edward…I know you can read my mind so I am going to ask you a series of questions, and you're going to respond by blinking once for yes and twice for no. Do you understand me?_

I blink my eyes once and grimace. This is going to be bad….

_Alright then. First, I want to know one thing before I ask anything else. Do you love my daughter?_

I blink once and hold my breath.

_Good. I knew that you did, Son, I just needed to make sure._

I sigh in relief. Then he rears back and hits me with the big one.

_Edward, the stories and myths that surround you and your family…they're all true, aren't they? _

My eyes roll into the back of my head.

_Is that a yes?_

I blink once and close my eyes as I feel him approach me at the table. Esme is chatting with Laurent and Irina and has thankfully been oblivious to this encounter. I catch Alice's eye as she sees Charlie heading towards me. She smiles reassuringly, and an image of Charlie clasping my shoulder and handing me a paper appears in my mind.

"It'll be okay, Edward," Alice says.

I find myself calming down though I cannot possibly imagine that this will end well. Why, oh why, did he have to pick today of all days to get a clue?

"Edward, if you have a minute I would like to have a word with you in private."

I catch Bella's eyes as she sees me rise. I ask Charlie in a low voice if I can tell Bella that I am going to walk up to the house with him for a minute. He lets out a gruff, "yes," and I walk over to Bella where she is now dancing with Jasper.

"Is everything alright, Edward?" she asks anxiously.

I do not want to start our married life with a lie, but I don't want to worry her unnecessarily on our special day either. I decide to risk it because Alice's reassuring smile fills me with the hope that Charlie isn't going to set me ablaze if I go with him.

"Everything's fine, sweetheart. I just want to give Charlie the owner's manual on the new car and go over a few things that he needs to know. I'll be back in a flash," I promise as I kiss her gently. Jasper looks at me sharply, and then closes his eyes. A wave of calmness washes over me, I turn to Charlie, and we walk back to the house together.

Charlie stops suddenly when we get to the bridge. He leans over the railing with hunched shoulders and is breathing heavy. I stop in my tracks and walk over to him straining to hear his thoughts. But Charlie's mind is closed, and his thoughts are private. He turns to me with those dark brown eyes of his…eyes that are so much like his daughter's and that are now full of questions, and I suspect, pain. He looks vulnerable and small in this moment, and I feel a pang of genuine sadness and regret; this man is now my father-in-law, and I am taking his daughter from him for all eternity. I go to touch him on the shoulder, but he puts his hand out in a surprisingly gentle gesture and touches me briefly on my own.

" Edward…I need to tell you something," he begins. "I grew up in this little town and have lived here my whole life. My great-great grandparents helped settle this town, did you know that?"

I shake my head to indicate that I didn't, and he continues.

"It's true…two brothers left New England back in the mid-1800's and helped blaze the Oregon Trail. When they came to the Olympic Peninsula one wanted to go upstream, but the other wanted to go west towards the mountain range. The legend is that the name Forks came from a fork in the road where they parted ways. So you see, son, I grew up hearing all about the legend of the Cold Ones and Ephraim Black long before Billy and his cronies began filling my head with stories."

I look up at him in surprise. "How long have you known about me, Charlie?"

He lets out a heavy sigh and turns back to face the river.

"About five minutes," he mutters. I let out a small moan and close my eyes. Of course, he didn't know for sure until I confirmed it with a blink of my eyes. Stupid, stupid…

"Edward, in spite of what you and Bella seem to think, I am not naïve nor do I bury my head in the sand. I'm a cop, Edward…a detective. This is who I am. You ask how long I've known, and I'm not lying when I say that it's only been five minutes since I was 100 percent certain. I needed to hear it from your own lips. But the truth is I've been 99.9 percent sure for some time now."

I see a sudden flash of the day Tyler Crowley lost control of his mother's van in Charlie's mind. Surely he hasn't known that long? I look at him with a raised brow, and he shakes his head.

"No, not in the beginning, though if I am to be honest, I had some suspicions that something was off when I saw the damage done to the Crowleys' mini-van. I noticed immediately that there wasn't any damage at all on the truck other than a large impression…the exact width of, say, a young guy's shoulders." Charlie spreads his hands to show the length, and I cast my eyes downward.

"I inspected the van and noticed the shape of what looked like hands…big hands…in the depression of the metal." He shakes his head, barks out a short laugh and rubs the back of his neck.

"I tried to shrug it off at first, but it nagged away at me constantly. I tried to ignore the hinky feeling because shortly after that episode you and Bella started hanging out more, and I'd never seen her so happy. And then when she ran off to Phoenix, and you followed her and brought her back to me…well, let's just say that I knew then that no matter what I discovered about you and your family that you loved her and would always put her safety first. Still, as the months went by I began to notice all sorts of things. You never seemed to get cold regardless of the temperature. You don't eat, or if you do, you find an excuse to vomit the contents almost immediately."

I groan in embarrassment, recalling how he'd overheard me last Thanksgiving voiding out the contents of that disgusting green bean casserole.

"Also, although none of you are related by blood, you all have the exact same color eyes. At first, I thought maybe you were all wearing colored lenses to show some weird sort of family unity…I dunno. But then I took notice of the way they would sometimes change color and then you'd take off for a few days and when you returned they'd be that yellowy gold again. Your color seemed to improve as well. Anyway, as a cop I couldn't let these types of things go, and as a father I had no choice but to look after my little girl.

"One day, when Bella was at school, I made it a point to look up a few things on her computer. Imagine my surprise when I typed in 'Cold Ones' in the Google search engine and found hundreds of cookies already stored in the browser. It didn't take me long to see that my girl had already conducted her own investigation. I followed her hits, and my suspicions seemed to be confirmed at every turn. I went down to the station and ran everyone's names through the database and came up with nothing at first. So I started digging deeper….going further back in time. I checked all the old files, made some phone calls. I ran the names through the database again, but this time I played around with surnames, dates, and ages. Imagine my surprise when I found an old unsolved mystery from 1936 concerning one Rosalie Hale." Charlie held out a folded article and handed it to me. I opened it to see my sister's lovely face looking back at me. Though the hairstyle was different there was no mistaking whose image it was.

I let out a small gasp; we try so hard to keep up with any type of evidence that might cause suspicion or reveal the truth. I can't imagine how this escaped Carlisle's diligent efforts to protect our identities.

"After I found the article about Rosalie's disappearance, I started digging further. I remember Bella saying that you originally came from Chicago. It didn't take me long to locate the crypt of the Masen family. You'd be surprised how many helpful genealogists there are online these days. One of them even sent me a picture of the grave. Imagine my surprise when I saw a tombstone for an Edward Masen Junior who shared the same date of birth as you with the exception of the year. Quite a coincidence…"

My stomach knots and rolls over at his words. I close my eyes and groan thinking of how unhappy Bella will be at this news. I feel a strong hand grip my shoulder, and I open my eyes in surprise.

"Look, Edward…I need to know is one thing. Is Bella planning to become like…you?

I see his eyes fill with sadness, and my throat feels tight. I want to deny his question, but I cannot. Instead, I tell him that it is her choice, always her choice. He nods his head and turns his face away from me saying, "But she wants to…"

I look out at the river and nod my head. I know he sees my gesture in his peripheral. I hear him heave a great sigh as he turns to face me.

"Okay…that's what I figured. Look, kid…I'm not gonna beg you not to do it. If there's one thing I've learned about my daughter over the years it's that she's even more stubborn than her old man. But as a father, I am begging you to not take her away from me completely. I don't need to know any of the details, and I don't want to know anymore than I have to know other than she is happy and safe."

I nod again.

Charlie exhales shortly from between his teeth and shrugs his shoulders a bit. "Tell me then… this whole college thing…Dartmouth…was it all a just a ruse? What were you two planning to do…fake her death and leave her mother and I grieving over the loss of our only child?"

"No! At least…we're still planning to attend Dartmouth this fall. We were thinking later… perhaps next year. I'm not sure…I mean Bella wants to wait a little, um, for my sake." I finished clumsily.

"She wants to wait for YOUR sake? What does that even mean?"

I look at him sadly. "I never wanted this life for her, Charlie…I still don't. That's what Emmett was talking about during his speech. I tried to leave her, Charlie. I only want what's best for her. More than anything I wish I could be human for her…give her a real life… children… grandkids… But the truth is I couldn't leave her. I know I should have…but I couldn't do it. Besides, Bella wouldn't let me…she, she…"

"Loves you," Charlie completes my sentence. "I know, Son. Believe me…I know she loves you," he says sighing again and looking into the distance.

"Charlie, why did you wait until after the wedding to tell me all this?" I ask curiously.

"Because I knew it wouldn't have made any difference; Bella would have done it anyway. And I didn't want to ruin any chance I might have to keep her in my life. Also…last night I got a call from Billy Black. He wanted to give me this," he said quietly pulling out another document from his tuxedo pocket.

I open it up and gasp.

"Charlie, what it this?" My eyes grow wide with shock.

"Edward, I want you to know that I talked to Billy a few weeks ago about the myths and legends. I told him I still thought it was all a bunch of crap. But he refused to listen. He told me then about the treaty and begged me to take Bella away from you so I could keep her safe. He pointed out the risks if she were to be bitten by one of you and what would happen to the Quileutes if a newborn vampire came to La Push. When he started telling me about how he would have to have her destroyed…I lost it. I picked him up out of his chair and shook him until his teeth rattled.

"Edward, years ago Billy was in a bad situation down at La Push. I've never told anyone about what happened, and I will take it to my grave. Billy knows that if I were to share any of this information with the authorities that pretty much life as they know it on the res would come to a grinding halt. I'm not proud of this…but I may or may not have pointed this fact out to him. In return for my, er, loyalty, Billy met with the council, and they have altered the original agreement. He sent it over to me this morning."

I look the document over and am thrilled to see that the treaty has made an exception to biting a human in the case of Isabella Marie Swan, provided that she and all related parties do not appear at anytime on the reservation unless it is by the express invitation of the council. Bella will be so happy to hear this news!

"Charlie, you do know that I am going to have to tell Bella about this conversation, right? I will not begin my married life by keeping secrets from her," I say emphatically.

"Yes, I know, Edward, and believe me I thought about confronting the two of you about it this past month on several occasions, but honestly, until Billy contacted me last night to give me the treaty revision I wasn't certain. After he left I sat outside of the cottage for hours thinking about everything, and I decided that if I was ever going to know the truth it would have to be today. But then I saw how beautiful and happy my daughter was when she was getting ready for the wedding, and, well, I just couldn't bring myself to ruin her day. I've never seen my girl look as happy as she does today, not ever." At this Charlie looks away for a moment and then turns to me, his eyes suspiciously bright.

"Last night I wrote a letter to her, and I was hoping you could give it to her on your honeymoon. It might make your version of our conversation go a bit easier if you give this to her first," he says handing me an envelope.

"Charlie, I'm still surprised you haven't indicated any knowledge of this to me until today. I mean, your mind has always been fairly quiet to me, but lately it's been nearly impossible to read."

"Well, I've been a bit, er, occupied as of late, and I still wasn't fully certain about the whole thing…" he trails off.

"You mean, occupied with Sue Clearwater," I attempt to tease.

"Erm…ah..well, yes. I mean, Sue and I have spent a lot of time together recently, what with Harry being gone and all. And Seth, well, he needs a man's presence around the house, and that Leah…well, ever since that boy up and left her for that other gal…well, let's just say there's been a lot of sadness in that house this past year."

"You're good for them, Charlie. And I know that Bella will be relieved to know that you've got somebody looking after you as well."

Charlie's eyes mist over a bit and he clears his throat hard. "Edward, now that I know…can you promise to have Bella stay in touch with me? I'm not sure how this is all supposed to work, and I do know that there are always risks involved with knowledge. But…"

I hesitate before I answer, thinking of the Volturi; I do not want to endanger Charlie or anyone here in Forks. I gather my thoughts quickly and turn to face him in the shadowy darkness.

"Charlie, the less you know the safer you and everyone around you will be. But I do promise that I will always find a way to let you know that Bella is safe and happy."

"Then I suppose that's all I can ask. Thank you, Edward."

We say no more, but in silent agreement we walk back to the wedding reception. Charlie walks over to Sue, takes her hand and together they head to the dance floor and begin a slow waltz. I watch as he presses her closer to him, his eyes meet mine, and he gives me a small wink. To say that he shocked me this evening with his revelation and his acceptance would be an understatement of epic proportions. And to think that I thought the letter from my mother was extraordinary!

"There you are husband of mine! I thought you bailed on me already…we've only been married two hours and off you go…" she trails off teasingly.

"I'll never leave you, wife of mine," I growl playfully in her ear as I scoop her up and swing her around in the air. She giggles adorably as I slowly slide her down my chest and her feet touch the floor. Just the barest touch of her body next to mine sets me on fire; I cannot wait another minute to be alone with my bride, and to think we will have the island to ourselves for the next four weeks! My imagination and my stirrings to begin the honeymoon begin to swell.

Alice spies us from the dance floor, where she and Jasper have apparently been cutting quite the rug. She leaves his side and approaches the microphone to announce that we are getting ready to depart. The guests gather round as the bouquet is tossed and caught by Tanya, who looks both delighted and surprised as her sisters hug and tease her about ending her succubus ways.

I remove the garter from Bella's thigh with my teeth, and the garter snaps in two. The crowd erupts into raucous laughter when I shoot it from my fingers, and it plunks sharply against Mike Newton's forehead. Tanya gives him and appraising look, and I hear Jessica tell him that he "can't put it on that slutty redhead's leg now cuz it's like, totally broken." Mike ignores Jessica, and gives Tanya a hopeful look. Then in a surprisingly deft move, he ties a tight and perfect knot repairing the broken garter in a matter of seconds. Bella and I turn to each other and laugh as we see him bravely approach Tanya.

"Wouldn't it be funny if…." we both say at the same time as we erupt into giggles. I catch her shining eyes and capture her lips for a searing kiss. We need to leave, NOW.

"Are you ready to say goodbye, my love?" I whisper in her ear.

Bella looks around at all the people who have come here this evening to celebrate our union and sighs. She turns to me with tear filled eyes and puts her hand in mine. I brush the tears from her cheeks and kiss her gently on the cheek. "Bella, I know I'm not perfect, and I can never replace your mother and Charlie, but I promise I will love you and be there for you always. You're my best friend, my only love…my _wife_." I hold out my arm for her, "Are you ready to begin our new life together, Mrs. Cullen?"

Bella gives one last look at her mother and father who are talking to Esme and Carlisle. Charlie's eyes catch Bella's, and he smiles softly at us both; giving us a wistful smile and then surprisingly, another little wink. He fixes his gaze on me for a brief moment, and I hear him say to me, "Take care of my little girl, Edward…"

I nod my head at him solemnly mouthing the words, "I promise."

"I'm ready, Edward," Bella says looking up at me, all smiles as she places her hand on my arm firmly.

We walk under the bower of flowers, and our friends and family, both humans and vampires alike, gather around and shower us with a mixture of confetti and rice.

I scoop Bella up in my arms and give the well wishers a lascivious wink and yell, "We've got to be going now. Thank you all for coming, but we have a plane to catch."

"Uh, bro your plane doesn't leave for another five hours," laughs Emmett, glancing down at his watch.

"Yes, but we still need to change and stuff," I remind him with a little laugh.

"_Stuff_?" he teases wagging his eyebrows in exaggeration.

Bella looks at me grinning, and we both wag our eyebrows and laugh outright.

"I know I have a little _stuff _to take care of back at the house," she admits with a wink.

"_Little_?" I murmur as I capture her lips with a smile.

"Okay, maybe I have one _big_ thing to take care of first before we leave," she says suggestively.

"Then may I recommend you two leave before we all get to witness the _stuff_?" Esme calls out to us. We both laugh at her unexpected innuendo; it is rare for Esme to make a suggestive remark. Carlisle looks at her proudly as he whispers into her ear, "I have some _stuff_ to do back at the house as well, my love." I burst out laughing when she taps him lightly on his cheek whispering, "later, darling…"

"Just don't get into any _stuff _in the cottage," calls out Alice. "I don't want you to ruin your surprise when you get back from your honeymoon." I try desperately to read her mind, but all I see is a flash of silver. I look at her puzzled and she grins. "Uh, uh brother o mine. Get your nose out of my head right this minute, and leave now before I tell Bella exactly where she'll be waking up tomorrow!" I look at her horrified as I realize she means business.

I begin to run down the petal strewn path with my beautiful bride tucked safely in my arms. Bella laughs joyously into my chest; her hands threading around my neck. My long dead heart swells to the brim with emotion as I let out a triumphant shout, and we run towards our future together, forever.

The End


	25. Chapter 26: Post Card from Isle Esme

Dear Readers, I have decided to remove the outtakes and the letter from Charlie and submit them as a separate story. The epilogue will be posted with the original story. Thank you for your patience and your support. It isn't easy letting these two go, but I know it has to be done. I am hoping the epilogue will post within a week or two, real life permitting. A letter to Charlie from a wedding guest is ready to post as soon as I send it to Coleen for a final edit. Jayne XO!

Post card from Isle Esme

From Bella

If anyone had told me two years ago when I left Phoenix that I would be sitting on a beach watching porpoises frolic and cavort with my _husband_, I would have laughed myself silly. And if anyone had told me that said husband would have been born in 1901, changed into a vampire in 1918,_ and_ that I was going to become a vampire myself, well, I probably would have reached for the phone, dialed 911, and asked for the name of a good therapist.

But that is exactly what happened.

How a shy, awkward girl from Arizona ever managed to become part of a supernatural love story is beyond me.

But I did.

The day that we were married was a culmination of everything that Edward and I had been through in the past two years. Every tear we shed, every laugh we shared, every fight we fought, every step we took, led us to that day. It was an emotional journey that was paved with laughter and tears.

The road we traveled on was fraught with twists, turns, bumps, and finally, a fork in the road, which might have divided us forever.

But it didn't.

I scan the water, and my eyes gaze upon this beautiful man whom I now call husband, and I smile. His fair skin sparkles brilliantly in the sun as he calls out my name and playfully beckons me to join him in the gentle surf. His laughter and silly cries for me to get my _sweet ass in the water right the fuck now_ makes me laugh, yet gives me pause; could this happy and carefree man really be the same lonely and bitter vampire I once knew? My heart fills with love when I catch the glint of his gold wedding band in the hot Brazilian sunshine. The glitter of gold arcs over the surf of the azure water, and its brilliant ray reaches out to join with the band on my own hand as I walk towards him.

I wade through the foamy waters and watch as he disappears into the waves. I giggle delightedly when I feel his strong arms suddenly scoop me up and toss me into the air. He catches me before I hit the water, and wraps my legs around his waist. We kiss and do dirty, dirty things to each other beneath the waves; things that would make the fish blush, if that were even possible.

Have I ever been this happy?

Has he?

The answer to both is no.

This past week has been the happiest of my life, and according to him, the happiest in all of his existence.

When we arrived on Isle Esme last week, it was late at night. I had no idea where we were going on our honeymoon, and frankly, I didn't really care. All I wanted was to have some private time away from the prying eyes of Charlie and the vampiric hearing of his family so we could finally breathe and enjoy each other completely without restraint. This past year, while wonderful in many ways, was also quite stressful. Edward had a hard time learning to control the passion and lust that we had unleashed when we made love for the first time last fall. And, if I were to be completely honest, I also had a hard time controlling my own passion and lust.

But we now have four blissful weeks to ourselves, and I plan on making the most of them!

When our plane landed in Brazil last week, I was pleasantly surprised. Edward never mentioned South America to me as a place that held any significance to him, and I was shocked when he admitted to me that it was one of his favorite places to holiday. There seemed to be such a high energy with the people of Rio de Janeiro. And even though it was safe for him to walk openly amongst the people at night, I knew enough about Brazil to know that it was going to be sunny. I wondered how my sparkling boy was going to manage to tone that number down. I don't think they make an SPF strong enough to block his sparkles!

As our cab wove its way through the dancing and laughing crowd, I couldn't imagine my quiet and somewhat reserved husband wanting to be a part of this experience. I mean Edward knows how to let go, he's proved that to me often enough over the last few months. But in public? Er, NO.

Well, as it turns out, my new husband is full of surprises…

Edward demanded that the driver let us out on the curb and instructed him to take our luggage to the pier. I was confused by this, and as we wound our way through the flock of olive skinned couples who danced seductively to the beat of the Latin music, I became even more confounded. Edward swept me into his arms and expertly led me into one of the most erotic dances of my life. His face was alight with sheer happiness, and he laughed aloud as he tossed and twirled me about, bumping and grinding his hips to the sway of the music. I shook my head in amazement when he threw his head back and laughed, _really laughed_, while the crowd cheered us on. Even though I was a little embarrassed to be dancing like that in public, it was totally worth it to see Edward so damn happy!

Afterwards, we walked through the bustling streets of Rio. We stopped occasionally to admire the whitewashed stalls where artists and craftsmen sold their wares. Edward bought me a beautiful silver and turquoise bracelet from a dark haired man who winked at us both when Edward put his finger over my lips to shush me when I tried to protest.

"No Bella," he said, "I'm your husband now, and it's well within my rights to spoil you a little bit."

I closed my mouth over his fingertips, and he groaned softly.

"Save something for the honeymoon, Mrs. Cullen," he teased in an exaggeration of Emmett's voice.

My cheeks reddened when the vendor chuckled and wagged his eyebrows. Ignoring the merchant, I shook my head and laughed up at him, saying, "I thought we _were_ on our honeymoon baby."

He chuckled darkly at my words and pressed his mouth to my ear, saying, "Oh, Bella…this isn't even the _foreplay_ to our honeymoon." I remember how he ran his cold, wet tongue over the shell of my ear, and I'd felt my insides quiver in anticipation. "You'll see…" he promised as he steered me through the throngs of people dancing in the street.

We walked the short distance to the pier, and Edward went over to the guard to retrieve our waiting suitcases and bags. I heard him speak to the man in perfect Portuguese, and I nearly swooned from his words. Not that I understood anything he said mind you.

He took my hand and helped me climb aboard an absolutely gorgeous motorboat. I giggled when I saw the name of the vessel: _The Other Woman_. The dark wood of the cruiser gleamed in the moonlight as he secured the luggage into the aft. Once we were settled, he started the engine, and we both smiled as it purred to life. I felt the excitement spread through my body as he maneuvered the craft expertly through the gentle waters. I kept looking at his biceps flex powerfully underneath his blue linen shirt. Gah! Just when I thought the man could not possibly get any sexier…Phew! Who knew Edward could drive a boat? Then again, what _couldn't _he do?

As we sped through the water, he finally relinquished his secret and told me that we were going to a small island that Carlisle had bought some years ago as a present for Esme. My breath caught in my lungs as my imagination grew ,and I swear I didn't release it until we arrived on the sandy beach a short while later.

When we secured the boat to the mooring, it was very dark, and at first I couldn't see much. However, the moon shone brightly, and someone had lit the torches that led the way from the beach to the cottage where we would be spending the next four weeks. I later found out that the housekeeper and his wife had done this for us. But that's another story.

Though my eyes acknowledged the loveliness of the cottage, my vision was obscured by the beauty of Edward's face as he swept me into his arms and carried me over the threshold. I barely noticed the exquisite tiled floors, coffered ceilings, lush plants, and wonderfully appointed furnishings, as he walked gracefully down the hall with me laughing in his arms. We entered a large bedroom that could only be called a magnificent wedding chamber. Hundreds of tiny candles winked at us teasingly as he put me down gently. I gasped out loud as I took in my surroundings. A huge teak bed with billowing clouds of white drapery dominated the center of the room, and I gulped as I touched the gossamer fabric and gathered it between my fingers.

The doors that led to a private beach were open wide, and the room was filled with the sound of the surf and further illuminated by the glow of the moon.

Edward looked down at his feet for a moment and asked me if I wanted to go for a swim. His voice cracked and the pitch was higher than normal; I almost laughed at the sound. But then I saw his face when he looked up, and the laughter died in my throat. He was so incredibly _dear _to me in that precise moment. Edward was rarely nervous and seldom ever awkward in my presence. I watched him swallow thickly, and I felt that familiar ache stir between my thighs. Suddenly, I was overcome with love and shyness.

This felt different… Yet, it felt familiar too. It felt…it felt like _our first time_…

I was beginning to feel a little anxious, so I told him that I would love to go for a swim but needed a few human moments first. Why we had both felt suddenly bashful when we had been intimate for months, was a mystery to me. Maybe it finally occurred to us that this night _was_ different, because we were now truly going to become one as _husband and wife_… Catching each other's matching expressions, we both let out a little laugh before I walked to the bathroom to freshen up, and he headed out to the beach. I stopped and watched as he tugged the shirt out of his slacks, pulled it over his head, and tossed it on the sand. He turned around, and caught my stare. I blushed when I saw his knowing smile in the moonlight, and flushed even further when he licked his lips seductively.

Too quick for my eyes to process, I was suddenly caught in his cool embrace as he held me next to his chest and pressed his mouth to my forehead.

"Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen," he said to me quietly. We both chuckled at my new name when it fell from his lips. But there'd been such a sweet shyness about it too. We'd stood there for a few moments just breathing the night air and each other in. He released me with a sigh, and headed back outdoors.

I sigh now in remembrance. It couldn't have been anymore perfect than if it had been a Lifetime original movie, with a Hallmark commercial thrown in for good measure.

After my human moment, I joined him on the beach. He was already in the water, and I waded out to him, knowing that he knew I was there even though his face was turned away from me. My tattletale heartbeat gave me away every time.

He turned to look at me then, and I gasped when I saw the profile of his perfect face. In this moment I was certain more than ever that he was more angel than man; he was absolutely stunning in the moonlight. He stood there silently for several minutes then quietly turned to me and told me in a husky whisper that I was beautiful. I touched the side of his face and trailed my hand down his neck, and he pulled me into his arms and held me close to his body. Even though the water lapped around us gently, I could feel every inch of him as he held me firmly against his body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and his long hands grasped my bottom. He squeezed my rear end softly and uttered a long groan into my hair. It was such an intense moment; I felt my eyes fill with tears as I touched his cheek and looked into his golden eyes. In spite of all odds, we now truly belonged to each other.

We floated out to the deeper part of the sea in each other's arms. It was dreamy and surreal, and _oh, so very perfect_. We were as quiet as the night itself; there was no need for words. We kissed each other for what felt like hours and let the water rock us gently; cradling us in its warm waves.

Only after I began to shiver, did Edward begin the journey back to the beach. He carried me swiftly into the cottage and into the bedroom, where he toweled us both dry and brought me over to the bed.

We kissed each other in various ways; gentle, passionate, tongue, teeth (well, _my t_eeth) nipping playfully… it was wonderful! Edward never took his eyes off me even when his mouth began to roam down towards my breasts. I waited for the whimper and was not disappointed when I heard it a few seconds later as he buried his face between my breasts. This was his little thing, and I loved knowing that it was only my body that would cause him to have this response.

We made love to each other slowly, never rushing, but taking the time to worship each other in ways that seemed familiar, but somehow felt completely different. At one point, Edward sat us up facing each other; he was still deep inside my body, thrusting gently, yet deliberately. I sigh again when I remember the look on his face when he told me that making love as husband and wife felt more and meant more than he thought it would. I knew exactly what he saying to me because I could feel the change as well. It was as if everything we shared before this night, wonderful though it had been, was eclipsed by the magnitude of knowing that we were now each other's completely.

"My wife," he kept murmuring as he laid me back down, and secured his hand on the headboard. He thrust into me harder than he ever had dared before, and was inside of me so deep, and pressed against me so close, that I couldn't tell where he began or I ended.

I looked into his eyes, and for a moment, just a tiny fragment of a moment really; I thought I saw a flash of leaf green pass over his eyes. _Teddy…_

I grabbed hold of his chin, kissed his soft lips, and gasped his name out loud. He pulsed inside of me, and I felt his fluid as he came shouting my name.

"_Bella… MINE… Oh God, I love you so much!"_

I came so hard that I couldn't even manage a moan, let alone a scream, it was that intense.

(Cuz even though I don't like controlling boyfriends, er, husbands, I DO like it when Edward gets all possessive-acting during sex and yells, "MINE!" Don't judge…)

His hips continued to gently, yet firmly, thrust into me; his arousal was still evident. I finally found my voice and groaned loudly when I saw his face. His lips were parted and his nostrils flared, and I watched in fascination as his eyes closed, then suddenly opened. They were black as pitch and hooded with lust. He gripped the headboard hard, threw his head back, and let out ferocious growl. His release was cool and seemed to last forever.

I didn't have anything better to do so, yeah, I came again. (Insert self-satisfied, yet slightly sheepish grin, here.)

Finally, Edward let out a huge sigh of satisfaction and collapsed with a loud thud by my side.

And the headboard also collapsed… with a loud thud, to the floor.

We looked at each other in amazement.

Huh…

"Oopsie"

I burst into giggles and had to make a dash to the bathroom before I embarrassed myself. _Oopsie…_where did my anxious, worried, and overly dramatic vampire go? If this had happened the first time we made love he would have been beside himself.

When I came back to bed, I told him that I thought I saw a glimpse of Teddy, but he only laughed at me saying, "That was all me, Bella…I told you I can go on forever. Want me to prove it?"

And he did…four more times.

It had been a wonderful night, one that was filled with more laughter and love than we'd ever imagined or dared to hope for. I like to think that all those months of practice gave him confidence and freed him from any worries or fears that he would hurt me. Plus all that practice, yeah, that was totally hot!

My mind begins to drift as we continue to float in the water and now I start to wonder what sex will be like when he finally changes me next year. I'll bet it will be hot and needy and primal. And I can't wait to find out!

I feel a rush of warmth as desire floods my body. Suddenly, all I can think about it sex, sex, and more sex. (Pardon me…but I AM on my honeymoon here. Don't judge.)

Remember the time he pressed me against my truck, and we dry humped, er, _frottaged_?

I thought then that it was the single most erotic moment of my life.

And it was.

But _that_ feeling…

The coil that grew tauter and tauter till it finally broke and spun out of control?

Well guess what?

It happens

Every.

Single.

Time.

(And yes, my vampire is STILL sexy as_ fuck!)_

Just thinking about all of this makes me groan, and I watch with delight as his nose twitches lightly, indicating that he smells my arousal. He gives me a lascivious wink, and his lips curl into that familiar smirk that I love so well. He throws his head back and laughs when I stick out my tongue at him in return.

Realizing once again how open and just plain joyous he has become over the last year, fills me with love and pride for us both. He finally managed to put aside his past, faced his personal demons, and has embraced the idea of a vampiric future with me at his side for all of eternity.

I like to think that maybe, just maybe, I had a little bit to do with all that.

Well, me and Dr. Phil.

We watch that show together every afternoon at four o clock. Edward likes to mock him, but I know he listens carefully when the good doctor has shows about domestic issues. A few weeks ago we watched a show about Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and Edward suddenly looked at me and asked if I thought he was OCD. I glanced at his music and DVD collection on the shelf and shook my head no. (Hey…the man is over a hundred years old and no medication would work for him anyway.) Honestly, if Dr. Phil has taught me anything over the years it's to learn how to pick my battles. Now if he ever airs a show about controlling boyfriends with commitment issues, I might need to point out to Edward just how much he has grown (insert feel good about yourself psycho-babble-here) over the last year.

Grinning mischievously, I reach over and playfully press his belly button. He lets out a little giggle, and I'd die a thousand deaths just to hear him make that happy sound again.

"Ding-Dong!" I say as I push against his navel (he's an outtie in case you were wondering. So cute!)

"Who's there?" he giggles.

"It's Miss Swan. Can Mr. Masen please come out to play?"

"Why yes, I believe he can, love. What's it to be today…Hide and Seek, Mother may I, or a good old fashioned round of _Doctor_?"

"Well, you do have TWO degrees in medicine, Doc," I sing to him.

"Yes, _yes I do_. So then, Doctor it is… Shall I be the ever so proper, yet secretly dirty, Edwardian Doctor Masen? Or would you prefer the more laid back, yet slightly pervy, modern day Doctor Edward…?"

"Surprise me."

He throws me over his shoulder, and I settle happily on his back as we swim towards the shore laughing and tickling each other. He grabs my behind and gives me a playful pinch, and I give his front a playful pinch in return.

Hmm…I've got a few new games for Mr. Masen to play if he's up for it… And judging from the bulge in Edward's swim trunks I'd say he's up for anything.


	26. Chapter 27: Post card from the edge

Post Card from the Edge

From Edward

I'm sitting on a sand dune watching Bella frolic with a dolphin named Fred. We'd met him yesterday when we were in the water together, er, _frolicking_ with each other. Bella had just wrapped those long legs of hers around my waist when I felt a nudge on my hip. I chuckled and whispered to her that I was trying to get it in and that she needed to stop being so impatient (I mean the waves were getting a bit rough, but then so was she. It isn't as easy for me to concentrate as it used to be…aggressive wives can be very, er, distracting.)

In any event, when I felt the nudge move up my back and shove me, I'd nearly lost my footing. I looked up in surprise to see that a third party had decided to join our private interlude in the Atlantic! Bella had burst out laughing when the dolphin's head rose over my shoulder and spewed a snout full of sea water in my face. I admit I was shocked; animals rarely ever come within ten feet of me willingly. Bella later remarked in a droll voice that it was a good thing it hadn't been a shark. Anyway, within a few minutes of his introduction, Bella had named him Fred and he has become her new "pet."

"No Fred! Let me get on _your_ back this time!" I hear her admonish the poor creature. Poor old Fred is going to be positively exhausted by the end of our honeymoon, if Bella has anything to say about it. I mean, the woman acts like she is auditioning for a job at Sea World.

Okay, I know I sound like I am sulking. I know I shouldn't be jealous over a fish, er, mammal. But honestly, it should be _my_ back she wants to ride on, and me she wants to toss and tumble in the sea with and not some damn Flipper wannabe named…_Fred_.

"Bella, Love…it's almost time for lunch. Why don't you let poor Fred go home to Mrs. Fred for the rest of the afternoon and give it a rest?" I call out to her in vain.

"No, I'm not ready yet! I still have to master standing up on his back with one leg."

One leg?

If you recall what a clumsy girl my wife is on dry land, then you will appreciate the irony of this scene. Apparently this clumsiness does not exist in the water however. The woman could have taught Esther Williams a few moves.

"Yeees!"

I look up to see my bride achieve her dream, as she stands on Fred's back with one leg poised high in the air. Her tiny bikini bottoms reveal a bit of her smooth white bottom as the fabric rides up to expose a bit of cheek. She is getting as brown as a berry in the Brazilian sun, and I can't wait till this evening when she'll stand in front of the bathroom mirror following her shower judging the depth of her "tan lines."

"Look how dark I'm getting, Edward!" she'll say tonight as she compares the amber skin above and below her creamy white breasts. Ungh!

Okay, that does it…I stand up, hard as a rock, and run towards the sea. Fred takes one look at my determined stride, and I give him my best vampire glare. He looks at me with that ridiculous dolphin grin, laughs, and with a big water spurt in my direction, he drops Bella unceremoniously into the waves and swims off into the deeper seas.

"Shit!" Bella bobs up to the surface sputtering, and I wade out towards her with a smirk and a chuckle.

"You did that on purpose, Edward!" she mutters angrily.

She's pissed.

I love that I made her pissed.

"Aw, come on, baby…" I cajole in a sexy voice. I lower my lashes as I finally reach her and wrap my arms around her hips and pull her towards me. "Don't be mad, Sugar. It's just that I've missed you so much…"

"_Baby_? _Sugar_? Is that really coming out of your Victorian mouth, _darling_?" she asks with an incredulous face.

Darling? Hmm…that's a new endearment, I think inwardly. I like it. A LOT!

Outwardly though, I sigh. "Bella, how many times have I told you that I am Edwardian and not Victorian?" I pretend to be hurt and give her my best pout and rest my head on her shoulder. My fingers play with her wet curls, and I trail my nose to her ear and plant a soft kiss behind it. She shivers in response.

"I dunno, Mr. Calculator brain, you tell me. I'm sure you could crunch those numbers for me in ten seconds or less and give me an exact figure. Or are you keeping a tab?" She practically purrs. I don't think she's pissed at me anymore since her own hands are scraping lightly over my belly button. Oh, is she going to press it again? Umm…maybe it's time for Mr. Masen to make another appearance!

"I dunno, Love. My calculator brain appears to be stuck. Maybe you could press my button a little harder and release it?" I ask hopefully.

She lets out a sexy little moan and chuckles darkly. "Will you still be able to crunch my numbers if I do?" she asks.

Crunches… I'll show her some crunches!

I lift her up out of the water and toss her over my shoulder and with a powerful stride, I take us out of the ocean and march up to the house in record order. She's got a few buttons to press, and I've got some numbers to crunch.

"Have you come up with a number yet?" she groans as I settle her on the bed.

I place my mouth at her hip and using my teeth I carefully snip the tiny bow that holds her unbelievably miniscule bikini bottoms together. The bow falls to the floor, and I nudge the wet material away with my nose. I plant a kiss right at her center, and she lets out the most erotic little growl. My tongue darts out and licks her soft folds lightly.

"How does the number _sixty-nine_ sound?" I ask as I surrender myself to her hot arousal.

I've always been good with numbers.


	27. Outtake: Don't you want me baby?

**A/N: IMPORTANT! Read this outtake first if you haven't already done so before you read the epilogue. The epilogue will immediately follow. XO!**

Don't you want me, Baby?

Isle Esme

Edward's POV

Last night Bella and I decided to go for a walk on the beach. It was the perfect evening; dramatic sunset, gentle waves, warm air, soft sand, and only the two of us as far as the eye could see.

Our time on the island has had a magical quality about it, but for some reason last night that quality was magnified tenfold.

I'd taken a soft comforter from the house, and Bella carried a wicker basket that had a bottle of wine, her iPod, and some battery operated candles. When we got to a sand dune that had become a particular favorite of ours, we spread out the blanket and Bella set the candles around the perimeter and put her music on. The first song from her shuffle was, of all things, "Don't You Want Me Baby" by the Human League.

"Umm…Bella, 1981 called to say they want their soundtrack back."

She looked at me and giggled, "I love this song!"

_Dun-dun-dun-dun…_

_You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you… _

_I picked you out_

_I shook you up_

_and turned you around_

_Turned you into someone new…_

I started to laugh because it was completely wrong for the romantic moment we had obviously staged for the evening's, er, festivities. Deciding just to go with it, I grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet, chuckling the whole time. I spun her out of the sandy depression and pulled her roughly to me as I moved my hips in an exaggerated 80's move. I took my hand and passed it seductively over my eyes and gave her my best vampire stare while gyrating my hips slowly.

"_Don't…don't you want me…you know I can't believe it when you say that you don't need me…"_ I snapped my fingers in her face and pointed them at her as I sang the lyrics loudly, popping my pelvis to the beat.

Well this, according to her, cracked her up completely, to the point where she threw herself down on the sand and rocked with laughter.

I crooked my finger at her and asked, "What…don't you want me baby?" I put my finger in my mouth, touched my hip and hissed.

"I'm gonna pee my pants…STOP!"

I stopped.

"Edward, I swear to god if Jessica or anyone from Forks who didn't know the real you could only see you now…you're nothing at all like they think you are. NOTHING! Oh my god-please-bust another move! I'm gonna get my iPhone and film it…" She looked up at me with tears of laughter running down her face. And suddenly everything felt different. I caught one stray droplet and placed it on my tongue. I'd been laughing with her too, at my own foolishness, but the taste of her tear on my tongue caused me to gasp and doused my mirth like a bucket of water poured over a campfire.

I dropped to my knees in front of her, took her face into my hands and slowly traced the outline of her lips with my finger. I pressed a soft kiss on her mouth and told her, "No one knows me like you do, Bella. No one ever will. I didn't even know myself until you came into my life. You're everything to me. You're everything…"

And with those words, the moon rose over the sea and the mood between us shifted. I vaguely noted that a new song was playing on her iPod, and that it was slower, softer, and more romantic. But it wouldn't have made a particle of difference what was playing at that point, because the change had occurred, and we were lost in the depths of each other's eyes.

I heard her then. I heard her tell me that she loved me, and that she would always love me. Forever.

Her lips never moved. I realized then that she was talking to me from the deep recesses of her mind, which only added to the significance of the moment. I became overwhelmed with emotion…it was too much. Too much want, too much need, too much love. I felt like I was going to burst out of my skin…

For the first time in months, I felt the venom pool in my mouth. I was consumed with need and want. Desire shot through my loins with an urgency that both frightened me and delighted my senses. God, I thought, I need Bella – need her NOW!

"Bella, do you still want to wait to be changed? Because I'm ready now, love. I don't want to wait a year or two to have forever with you," I choked out.

I heard her gasp as I lifted her into my arms and kissed her hard.

"Please, Bella… please…need you so much…need you now," I pleaded. My voice echoed loudly in the night.

"Okay."

Her one word response was so quiet that it was barely a whisper that blew in the soft breeze, but it was both steady and true. I looked into her eyes, and they weren't afraid of the beast that held her tightly in his grasp. They were shining and so full of love that I thought my heart would explode if that were possible.

"Are you, are you sure?" I asked uncertainly. We agreed that we would wait until next year or possibly even later if she chose to do so. I wanted her to have a chance at a normal, happy human life. The thoughts of us attending Dartmouth and the home we built came to my mind, but I dismissed them at once. We promised each other that when the timing was right, we'd both know it. This moment…this moment felt right. So, right. I looked down at her in anticipation and held my breath.

"Yes, Edward, I have never been more certain."

Her words, her soft look, her gentle touch on my face, and her small, sweet smile…I felt myself calm instantly.

I kissed her sweet lips and carried her back to the dune. Her heart pounded but it was solid and sure. I would miss that sound. I laid her down on the blue comforter we'd swiped off the guest room bed and removed her clothes; kissing each bit of skin as I uncovered it; her soft thighs, her smooth hip bones, her delicate ribs, and her beautiful breasts. I couldn't resist kissing each silky mound and running my tongue over each rosy tipped nipple. They felt so full under my hands. Full and sweet and so milky white beneath her tan lines…God…they were so…_full…_

"Edward? I want you to do it tonight. I don't want to wait any longer either. I need you, Edward. Don't be afraid…we belong together."

"Forever," I vowed.

My mouth dripped a stream of sweet smelling venom as I trailed my tongue between, over and around each breast. I ran my nose and my lips across her shoulder; gliding my tongue slowly…feeling for her pulse point. The smell of her blood filled my entire being, and I pulled my lips back in anticipation. This was it…I was finally giving in to my most basic desire and the need for the woman I love…_my wife,_ to be mine for all of eternity. I felt her tiny hand squeeze my own gently as if to reassure me that this was what she wanted too.

"Now, Edward…do it _now_…" Her soft command gave me the courage I needed, and I pressed my mouth behind her ear and began to bite…

**Ring!**

I jumped back, startled. Bella turned her head to the side and groaned

Talk about timing.

The phone in my pocket began to ring and vibrate simultaneously. I pulled it out in aggravation and was about to toss it to the side when-

"You'd better answer it," she cried. "It might be something important. Something bad might have happened…we haven't heard from anyone since we got here. Maybe something happened to Charlie…"

Oh for the love of…

I glanced at the phone quickly as I brought it out from my pocket.

_Alice…_

"It's only Alice, love. Do you want me to answer it or should I send her a text and tell her we'll call her back?" I couldn't believe my sister's timing. Jesus, she sure picked her moments.

The spell was already broken though, and Bella just nodded her head curtly at my question as if to say, "duuuuh…"

I opened the cover, took it out, and answered it.

"_What?" _I snapped_._

"Well, hello to you too, brother of mine."

"Alice, what do you want? I mean…is it important? Bella and I are kind of busy right now, so maybe we can call you later." (Much later I thought to myself. Like in a few weeks, after Bella's transformation had time to settle.)

"Yes, Edward, _it is important_. It's probably the most important thing I'll ever say to you." Alice's words were sharp and clear, and I sat up, fully alert. There was an authoritative tone in her voice that I'd never, in all the years I've known her, heard. I felt a chill run through me, which was odd considering I don't get chilled. Bella sensed the change in my attitude and sat up looking at me with one eyebrow raised. I shook my head slightly to indicate that I didn't know what was going on, when Alice's voice rang loudly into the night air demanding me to put her on speaker. I did what I was told.

"Listen…I need you both to hear me, okay?"

We both sort of murmured "Okaaay," into the air but neither of us knew what we were agreeing to – Alice sounded so weird. Even for Alice.

"Do you trust me?" She asked gently.

This softly spoken question made us nod our heads solemnly. Even though we hadn't verbalized our reply, Alice seemed satisfied.

"Good. That's good. Now then, what I am about to say will no doubt make you think that I've been prying on you guys these past few weeks, but rest assured I have not. I promised you, Edward, that I would keep my visions to myself if I accidently found myself lost in a scene from your honeymoon, and I swear to you that I've kept my promise till just now. But a few minutes ago I had a vision that you two came to a decision, a decision that will change everything you have ever hoped or dreamed for in both your lifetimes, and I couldn't bear to let that happen," she stated emphatically.

"Alice…what is it? What's wrong? Will I kill her accidently? Is that what this is all about?"

Oh God, I thought to myself. What was I thinking? I can't believe how irresponsible I was – no forethought whatsoever…just me…acting in the damn moment, all caught up in Bella's intoxicating scent and the taste of my own venom. Stupid, stupid…

I dropped the phone to the sand and froze like a statue. I almost killed my Bella, I thought. I couldn't have moved a single muscle if I tried. It was as if someone had shut off the switch.

I felt, rather than saw, Bella move to pick up the phone and heard her ask Alice if it were possible for vampires to go into shock. Alice only chuckled softly and told her no, saying, "He's just having a panic attack, Bella, because he thinks I called to tell him that he was going to kill you a few minutes ago. As usual, Edward starts to have a hissy fit and then shuts down before anyone can finish their sentence, so I guess you'll just have to tell him for me, alright?" Bella laughed in relief and the sound of her laughter began to shake me from my stupor. I took the phone from her hand and brought it to my mouth about to speak.

"Aaaand he's back! Good, that didn't take long. Bella's good for you, Edward. Just the sound of her laughter is enough to relax you."

"Alice," I growled into the speaker. "If you didn't call to warn me not to change her tonight because you thought I was going to kill her, then why exactly did you call? I'm sorry, but this decision is a personal one that is private and is between just the two of us. I'd appreciate it if you would kindly mind your own business and let us tend to ours," I spoke into the phone curtly. Then I did something I hadn't done in months. I pinched my nose. Hard. Bella looked at me sharply and I heard her tsk, "And you were doing so good…" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Remember when I asked you if you trusted me?" Alice continued. I let out a little Pfft from the side of my mouth. Remember? Don't be absurd, you ridiculous, interfering, little pixie – my vampire memory is longer and sharper than yours will ever be. _Remember_…please….

"Of course, I remember, Alice, it was only a few minutes ago that you asked the question," I responded sarcastically. I think Bella must be having an effect on me. They say couples do that after they've been together for awhile. I bit my lip waiting for Alice to comment.

"Okay, then…you both need to trust me on this. Especially you, Edward, you need to promise me that any talk of changing Bella will wait until after you've returned home to Forks. No questions asked."

"But…" I began to protest.

"You told me you trusted me, Edward. Have I ever failed you before?"

"No, but…"

"You need to trust me now. Do not, under any circumstances, change Bella until after you've returned to Forks, and then only after you have spoken to me. Do you understand?"

Once again there was a tone in her voice that brooked no argument. I looked over at Bella, and she nodded her head at me. I lifted an eyebrow at her and mouthed, "Are you sure?" She smiled at me and squeezed my knee to assure me that she agreed to wait just as Alice asked.

"Yes, Alice…I promise not to change Bella before we return, and Bella has agreed to wait as well. But might I still ask what this is all about? I mean it still isn't anyone else's business but the two of us concerning the timing of her transformation," I huffed out loud.

"You're wrong about that, Edward. So, wrong," she said cryptically. "I have to go now. I'll see you both soon. I love you…and please…don't forget your promise."

"But, Alice…"

I put my phone closer to my ear but there was nothing but silence.

She'd hung up on me.

I looked over at Bella who was standing up putting her clothes back on. The IPod shuffled to a new song-

_The Love Shack-_

_is a little old place_

_where we can get together…_

_Love Shack baby_

_Love Shack Bay bee…_

I looked over at Bella and watched as she popped her hip hard and gave me a little wink.

We scooped up the reminders of our ill fated attempts to secure our future together forever, threw them inside the basket and sighed.

Then we popped our hips a few times, chuckled, and headed back to our love shack hand in hand.

_Glitter on the mattress  
Glitter on the highway  
Glitter on the front porch  
Glitter on the hallway_

Maybe If I was lucky we'd both be glittering in the sunlight soon. I remembered my promise to Alice and groaned inwardly. How much longer were we going to have to wait for forever to begin?

I got my answer this morning.


	28. Chapter 29: Come Back to me Baby

**Many thanks to my faithful beta Coleen 561! I owe you so much for all your help with this story, girl!**

Come back to me, baby

Epilogue part one

Edward's perspective

I'm sitting in my old room with my head on my wife's lap struggling to make some sense of the past seven months. It has been the longest seven months of my entire life, in both my human years, as well as in my vampiric existence.

Bella lies beneath me as still as death, which for all intents and purposes I guess she is.

It has now been three full days since I injected my venom into her veins, and although Carlisle has assured me repeatedly that her transformation is going well, I have my doubts.

Three full days and zero response. Nothing…. not even a whimper. I would gladly give a hundred years, hell a _thousand_ years of my existence, to even see her eyelashes flutter; at least that small movement would give me hope. And hope is something I desperately need at this point.

Thud, thud, thud. The strong beat of her heart reminds me that all is not lost, at least not yet.

I look up to see Rose come in with Charlotte. She stands by my side for a few moments and nudges me gently to take the small pink bundle from her arms. Sadly, I shake my head at her and tell her no. I'm worried about the possible danger of having a newborn baby and a newborn vampire in the same room. Though, in all honesty, my fears are not based on facts or even lore. Carlisle assures me that, given Charlotte's DNA, it is unlikely that her blood will disturb Bella while she slumbers or even when she awakes. I pray that he is right. I hear Charlotte cry softly, and Rose is quick to sooth her in a tender voice, the likes which I have never heard fall from her lips before. Apparently Bella isn't the only one who is going through a transformation. Rose nods her head in understanding and turns to leave but not before she lays one hand lightly on my shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"Rose, wait a moment please," I beg, just as she begins her careful descent down the hall. Charlotte is nestled in Rose's arms, and her pink cheek is pressed hard against Rose's neck. I notice her big brown eyes peeping out from her cuddled embrace, and my dead heart flutters in response as she locks her dark eyes on mine. Chocolate eyes, just like her mother's, though the size and shape remind me so much of another Charlotte that I once new. Yes, I think to myself, she has Lottie's eyes, right down to the way her lashes splay dramatically against her brow.

"Flirty Gertie" Emmett exclaimed when she opened her eyes fully a few hours after she was born. Emmett maintains that he saw it happen before anyone else did, and that she actually, "Batted them at me. This one's gonna be a heartbreaker, Daddy. You mark my words."

Looking over at her brown gaze, I watch in fascination as she opens them wide and then softly closes them. My entire being is filled with a love so big, so important, and so unexpected that I think I will burst. I rush over to Rose and put my hand on her shoulder lightly. She turns to me with a small smile and hands the baby to me, making sure that I support her head the way all new Daddies are supposed to do; despite the fact that a half vampire baby in all likelihood does not need to have her head supported.

Charlotte nuzzles her face in the crook of my neck, and I melt. Melt! She smells so good; like Downey and sunshine and baby all mixed together. I sniff her hair appreciatively, and she snuggles further into my neck. A dribble of wet goo leaks from her rosebud pout. Rose chuckles when she sees my face crinkle as I acknowledge the drool. She leaves to fetch a bib. Laughing a little, I walk back down the hall to continue my bedside vigil with my daughter nestled firmly in my arms.

My daughter!

Who on earth would ever have predicted that I would one day be a father? The idea that it would have even been possible seems ludicrous and absurd to the extreme. After all, I am a vampire…I'm not supposed to be making viable sperm, let alone have the ability to create a new life, right?

Wrong.

When Bella and I returned to Forks after my poorly timed and ill fated attempt to change her, she was already pregnant.

Our last morning on the island began as usual. No warning. No sign that a life altering change was about to occur.

But it did. My perfect vampire memory recalls that fateful day . . .

Bella had left our bed and gone to the bathroom to have a human moment and shower. I headed out to the kitchen to prepare her a feast of scrambled eggs, sausage, ham, bacon, home fries, buttered toast, juice, and coffee. I was smiling and relaxed, even though our decision to facilitate Bella's change had been thwarted by the urgent phone call from Alice, who asked, no demanded, that we not begin the transformation process until we returned back home to Forks.

Once we returned to the house we'd began talking in earnest about our impetuous decision to begin Bella's transformation a full year earlier than we had originally planned. Both of us agreed that it was a foolish idea to have attempted such a major event without careful planning, and that while Alice's phone call was annoying, and perhaps even devastating at first, it was probably a good thing that she had intervened.

I still cannot believe how much has transpired since our wonderful honeymoon. Shorter than we planned, yes, but still, oh so sweet!

At least until that fateful morning…

I was in the kitchen reflecting on the previous evening's bizarre turn of events, when all of a sudden, I heard Bella retch. Loudly. The smell of vomit immediately assaulted my senses. I shut the burner off and rushed to the bathroom to assist her.

"Get out!" she cried, her voice echoed from the depths of the commode.

Pfft, as if that were possible! There was no way on earth I could ever leave my Bella in such a pitiful state. I walked over to her cautiously and pulled her hair away from her face, just like any man worth his salt should do when the woman he loves is throwing up the remains of last night's spaghetti and meatballs. I grimace now remembering…it was quite an unappetizing sight, even for me, and I haven't eaten spaghetti and meatballs since the state fair of 1914, (Good thing, because if I were a human man I doubt I could have eaten that particular dish ever again. Ugh!)

When her retching finally ceased, I went to the sink and wet a washcloth with cool water. I brought it over to her and wiped her face and neck and asked her what was wrong.

I chuckle as I recall how the events played out; it's like watching a movie in my head.

Me: Sweetheart, what is it? Are you sick?

Bella: No, I always throw up in the morning before I take my shower, dumbass.

Me: Dumbass? Is that my new nickname? I was getting rather partial to Darling.

Bella: I'm sorry, Edward. I just feel like shit. I don't mean to be such a bitch.

Me: Love, you're never a bitch. Please don't refer to yourself in that manner ever again. You're right, I was being, as you say, a "dumbass." It was foolish of me to ask such an inane question when you're obviously sick. Was it…the spaghetti and meatballs do you think?

Bella: Blehhhh…gurgle, gurgle, snort, sniff, blehhhh!

Me: _(Flushing down what I hope is the last of said spaghetti and meatballs.)_ I'm sorry, Love. That was inconsiderate of me to inquire as to whether or not your illness was caused by the spag-

Bella: Oh, for God sakes…shut UP!

Me: _(shutting up) _

Bella: _(Looking contrite)_ I'm sorry, Edward.

Me: Umm, if it wasn't the spa…er, what you had last night for supper, then what is it? Do you think you have a stomach virus? Should I call Carlisle to see if I should give you something?

Bella: K…

Me: _(Plucking out my phone and speed dialing my father)_ Hello, Carlisle?

Carlisle: Edward! How are you? How's Bella? Alice tells me that she's feeling poorly this morning. Is that true?

Me: Huh?

Carlisle: Yes, Alice just left my office and told me that you'd be calling. How long has Bella been vomiting?

Me: Umm…the past thirty minutes or so.

Carlisle: Does she have a fever?

Me: _(feeling Bella's forehead. 98.6 right on the dot) _No, no fever.

Carlisle: Well, it could be a virus I suppose, although without the presence of a fever I think it is highly unlikely. Perhaps it's caused by stress? Alice tells me that something transpired last evening that may have induced Bella nerves to produce bile that would…

Me: _(Turning to Bella)_ Carlisle thinks it might be a good old fashioned case of nerves, love. Perhaps from all the stress of last night…

Bella: _(Snapping)_ I'm NOT stressed, damn it!

Me: _(Into the receiver)_ She says it's not stress related.

Carlisle: Hmmm, she sounds irritable though. Could it be time for her menses to begin?

Me: _(staring blankly into the phone)_

Bella: What did he ask?

Me: _(embarrassed)_ Er… _(mumbling)_ something about whether your menses were about to start…

Bella: My menses?

Me: Yes, your…ummm…period?

Bella: _(Arched brow pointed in my direction)_ Edward, when have you ever known me to actually have a "period?"

Me: Umm…well, er, never.

Bella: Exactly. I'm on the pill, Edward. I don't get a period. I haven't had a period since I was 16 years old for Pete's sakes. Menses…really?

Carlisle: Edward, I can't help over hearing. I understand that Bella reminded you that she is on a daily hormone inhibitor, is that correct?

Me: Er, yes. Seasonal, I believe is what she was prescribed by Dr. Gerandy.

Bella: He changed my prescription when I went to see him because I had strep throat.

Carlisle: Didn't Gerandy give her an antibiotic when she saw him for her strep throat? That combined with a prescription change could be enough to throw her hormones off balance. That was very irresponsible of Gerandy not to have warned her. If she were having sexual relations with a human she could become pregnant.

Me: Bella, didn't Gerandy prescribe you an antibiotic for the strep thr-

**Pregnant? **

My mind had begun to race…Good lord…is that even possible? Is that the reason why Alice called last night to stop me from changing Bella? Oh, my God! It makes sense…that's why she was so cryptic when she replied that it wasn't just "our business" when I told her to butt out. But, no…that's ridiculous…vampires can't impregnate a human. **Can they?**

At this point I froze like a statue, and my mind punched every button in my vampiric memory banks to check its database for vamp-human hybrid spawn.

Bella: _(standing up and taking the phone out of my hand) _Carlisle, it's Bella. Apparently, something you just said to Edward has caused him to strike a pose and now he looks like he belongs in a museum exhibit. Now, what did you ask him? Something about antibiotics?

Me: _(Returning to life)_ **Incubus…**

Carlisle: What was that he just said?

Bella: Umm…something about an incubus?

Carlisle: I think you'd better pack your bags and head home this morning, Bella. Hold on for a moment, please. Okay, I'm back. Alice just informed me that she has the tickets ready and that your flight leaves in two hours. Rose and Emmett will pick you up at the gate, and she says for you to have a safe flight.

Bella: What?

Me: _(Grabbing the phone)_ Carlisle…is this even possible?

Carlisle: I honestly don't know, Edward. All I know is that Alice is smiling like she won the lottery and is shouting at me to tell you not to worry, and that everything will turn out just fine. Er, excuse me for a moment, please. Sorry, I'm back. I had to call for Jasper; Alice's enthusiasm has extended itself to her doing cartwheels in my study. Don't any of you kids wear proper underwear? Exactly what IS the purpose of a…what are they called…ah, yes…a THONG? Just because we don't excrete anything does not mean that one should forgo the use of proper underclothes, at least for the sake of modesty. Heavens, I may have to speak to Esme about all this…

Me: _(groaning)_ Umm…Carlisle…I've got to go. We'll see you in a few hours.

I hung up the phone immediately. If I had to hear anything more about Alice's indecent exposure and lack of excretions, I would be forced to plunge my head into the commode. Christ!

And that was that. Well, that wasn't only that, I still had to tell Bella what I thought ailed her. I smile when I remember her response: "Oh, for the love of Pete…I am NOT pregnant, you dumbass!" Dumbass, as it would turn out, did in fact become my new nickname over the next seven months. It wasn't so bad once I got used to it, in fact it became oddly endearing. I look at my beautiful wife on the bed and smile; I'd give anything to hear her call me dumbass right about now. Anything!

As if answering my mental plea, a loud, boisterous voice breaks through my musings on the past and brings me back to the present.

"Hey, dumbass, your son would like a bit of attention too, ya know."

I look up and smile when I see Emmett standing in the door way with my son cradled against his broad chest. He is wearing the Mickey Mouse ears that he'd bought back in 1977 when we'd taken a vacation to Disneyland.

"You know, Emmett, I may be called a dumbass by Bella from time to time but at least I don't look like one. Good lord, where on earth did you dig up that old relic anyway? I thought Esme threw that thing out years ago."

"She did, but Rosie wrestled it from the trash man just as he was about to cart it off. I think he's still in therapy. I told her not to go out in the morning sun, but does that woman ever listen to me? No."

I chuckle as he brings my son over to my waiting arms.

My son!

I shift his sleeping sister over to my other shoulder and make room for her as-yet-to-be-named brother, so I can cuddle them both in my arms.

Yes, we had quite a shock a few days ago. No one, not even Carlisle, had anticipated the arrival of twins! However, this little chap's unexpected arrival was the main event which precipitated Bella's transformation. I frown when I think of the drama that transpired three days ago and close my eyes in an effort to block the memory from my mind, at least for now.

Jasper comes to the door and asks me if I want him to take the babies back to their grandmother, but I shake my head.

"No, Jasper. But thank you. I feel better holding them in my arms waiting for their mother to wake up so she can finally meet them. Alice assures me that they'll be safe, although I still worry about her reaction."

"Don't worry too much about that, Edward; I plan on keeping a close watch. The minute Bella stirs I'll be in here like a flash, you have my word."

"Thank you, Jasper. I do feel a lot better knowing that you're nearby. Is Charlie still here?"

He tells me that yes, Charlie is sleeping in our little cottage and has asked to be wakened the minute Bella opens her eyes.

Yes, Charlie knows all about the babies. He was the first person we told once the pregnancy was confirmed by Carlisle when we returned home. Once he got over the shock, he was delighted. Grandpa Charlie…just imagine that!

When Bella and I were on the plane heading back to Forks I'd given her Charlie's letter, the one that he'd written to her the night before our wedding. This letter revealed many insightful moments on his part regarding the months that preceded our marriage. She was stunned to learn that Charlie suspected there was some truth to the rumors about my family's propensity for, well, blood. The fact that Charlie had some personal experiences that involved our kind amazed us both; Charlie had given no indication of that to me when he confronted me at the wedding. Bella and I spoke at length to Charlie about the contents of his letter and that of the treaty upon our return.

He assured us both that no harm would come to Bella or our child, and for that I was grateful (not that I would have allowed anyone to harm them; no one would dare lay a hand on their precious heads. Of course, I have Emmett and Jasper as part of my own personal army should it come to that.) Charlie's assurance comforted us both. However, the conversation with Charlie came several days after we arrived home, and I smile as I recall the full blown drama that followed our entrance into casa de Cullen. Christ, what a scene that had been!

Once again, my thoughts drift back in time, as I remember our arrival back in Forks after the honeymoon. . .

Alice was standing at the door with a damn pregnancy test in her hand. I glared at her and silently warned her not to upset Bella with all this nonsense, though in my heart I already knew it to be true. Her scent was already changing.

'_Oh, pshaw Edward! she told me telepathically. Bella's going to be so excited and so will you when you see my visions_'. She drifted into one of her weird far-off stares, and I concentrated on the image that appeared in her mind's eye. A tiny silver baby cup embossed with the name Charlotte Cullen began to emerge. Charlotte! Yes, if we could have a baby girl that would be the perfect name. But I only frowned knowing that this was too farfetched and utterly absurd to be true. I shook my head once the visions faded and felt excitement begin to grow in the spot that used to hold my beating heart. Was this even possible? Could Bella and I really be having a baby? Once we got inside the house and were settled, Alice assured me that we not only could, we would.

Despite my warnings to Alice about Bella's feelings regarding the subject of a possible pregnancy, she did manage to lead her into the bathroom, where Bella took the test and proceeded to faint in a dead heap at Alice's feet. I heard her drop the second she hit the floor and I shot up out of my seat in the living room and rushed to her aide. I was furious with Alice for allowing Bella to fall, especially in her possible condition. A quick glance at the blue wand which was clenched tightly in Bella's fist, confirmed Alice's prediction, and I groaned. Once I determined that she had only fainted and was not injured, I scooped her up into my arms and carried her back to our little cottage and put her immediately in bed.

"Is it true, Edward?" she'd asked when she awoke a few minutes later. I nodded my head mutely and crawled in next to her. I can't sleep, but I swear to you by all that is holy, that I may as well have been asleep; I was so shaken by the turn of events that I had completely shut down. Bella was so exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that she nestled into my arms and we clung to each other all night long. We barely spoke. We were in shock. A baby…?

The next day I was galvanized into action. I left my sleeping, pregnant wife, went back to the house, and sought out Alice. I needed to apologize for yelling at her, and also, even more importantly, to thank her for interrupting our plans to begin Bella's transformation. What a hideous nightmare that would have turned out to be if I had succeeded in biting her when she was carrying my child. We never would have forgiven ourselves had that been the case.

After I apologized to Alice, I met my father in his study where we pored over every bit of information we could obtain from the internet. Although I felt somewhat reassured by Alice's visions, I still needed proof that Bella would be safe. Nothing we found on the internet suggested anything but a poor outcome for the mothers.

According to the myths, the incubus preyed on beautiful women and impregnated them with their demon seed. In these old stories, the babies survived, but their hapless mothers did not. Apparently, the babies chewed their way out of the womb, and their mothers bled to death. I shuddered at the thought.

Although we were unable to find any data that gave us hope regarding a positive outcome for Bella, Carlisle did come up with a pre-natal plan for her. He decided that a diet rich in iron and protein, supplemented by animal blood, would be in her and the baby's best interest. I had no idea if Bella would be willing to partake of the prescribed animal blood, but I was desperate to keep her healthy and safe.

Carlisle suggested that we get in touch, albeit discreetly, with our cousins from Alaska. My cousin Kate, in particular, was very interested in Vampire legends and lore. With permission granted, Carlisle sent her an email explaining our situation, and he received a phone call moments later from Kate, who excitedly told him that she had met a man some years ago who claimed he was the product of a human-vampire union. She told Carlisle that although he had supposedly been born over two hundred years ago, he looked to be about the age of twenty-five. He shared that he had grown at a normal rate until he was twelve years old, when suddenly he matured into manhood seemingly overnight. He also told Kate that he had never met anyone else like himself and that he was often lonely, and felt as if he did not belong in either world. Kate told Carlisle that she had this man's email and would contact him forthwith to let him know of our situation. Carlisle reminded Kate to use the utmost caution in sharing too much information about us until this man's claims could be proven; the last thing we needed was for the Volturi to get wind of this. They'd descend en mass on Forks and all hell would break lose. Kate assured him that she would be discreet and kept her word.

Carlisle was able to have several private contacts with Nahuel and arrangements were made for him to come visit Forks, which he did just last month. He turned out to be a very nice man; his heart beat, blood pulsed through his veins, and he did not have any unusual gifts that would cause undue speculation about his parentage. His skin did shimmer ever so slightly but it was hardly noticeable to human eyes. When he left, it was with the promise that he would return soon and often.

Bella and I slowly began to adjust to the idea that we were about to become parents. Although she was often quite ill in the mornings, and sometimes in the afternoon (and occasionally even in the night) she thrived under Carlisle's watchful eye. Getting her to drink the animal blood wasn't a problem, as she actually craved it; which made Carlisle beam, knowing that he'd gotten her diet right. Physically she was fine; emotionally though…not so much. I close my eyes as I start the DVD player in my head and hit the play button. Ah, here is a scene from one of the early days in the pregnancy:

Bella: Edward, how on earth did this happen? I thought you told me you couldn't ever be a father. Now look at me!

Me: Ummm, I have no-

Bella: Idea. Yeah, I know, that's what you always say. Still, I would have thought that you would have had some knowledge stored in that big marble head of yours about vamp-seed. I mean, you did come up with the word incubus when we were on the phone talking to Carlisle, so it had to be in that big ole brain of yours somewhere.

Me: Uh…

Bella: Uh? Is that all you have to say? Look, don't get me wrong, I always wanted to be a mother.

Me: _(interrupting)_ You did?

Bella: Yes.

Me: But you told me that you didn't care about having children. You said you-

Bella: What I said was, if I couldn't have YOUR baby, then I wouldn't want to have children. Do you hear the difference? Besides, you're the one who never mentioned wanting children. All you said was that you dreamed of being a soldier. You never, ever said anything at all to me about wanting a baby someday when you came back from the war. Come to think of it, you never said you wanted to get married either. You didn't want a wife or a baby, did you? And now you're stuck…stuck… with a pregnant wife. And I'll probably die before I deliver and then you'll have to change me and then I'll be, like, eternally pregnant. With a big-fat- enormous- protrusion that is frozen in time…for fucking EVER! Waaaaah!

I chuckle in remembrance, even though it wasn't funny at the time, I suppose. I was quick to remind her how much I loved and doted on my baby sister, and that even though I had never mentioned it, I had enormous regrets that I could never father a child and have a family with her. As for the accusation that I didn't want a wife…well, I reminded her about my proposals and how thrilled I was when she had finally accepted. Although this conversation ended well, Bella still needed a lot of re-assurance as the months went by. My mind scans through the menu and selects another scene. Oh, this was classic Bella.

Bella: Did you remember to call Dartmouth and defer?

Me: Yes

Bella: Do you think I'll be ready to go to school by next year?

Me: I have no id-

Bella: Idea. Yes, I know. You never have any idea, do you?

Me: Uh-when it comes to you…no.

Bella: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: Love, no matter what I say it's wrong. I honestly think it would be better all the way around if I just kept my mouth shut. Every time I open it, I anticipate the taste of feet, namely my own. I know this wasn't the plan, but it happened, and I couldn't be happier. But you…well, you just don't seem happy anymore. I'm sorry for-

Bella: Edward…NO! I am happy! I'm just…

Me: Pregnant?

Bella: _(crying)_ I'm sorry, Edward. I love you so much. Of course, I want your baby. I want you…need you…NOW!

Me: _(sighing)_ Again?

Bella: _(Wrapping one arm around me and unzipping my jeans with the other before dragging me to bed)_ Mmm…hmm…come're Baby…

See what I mean? Emotions all over the place. They settled in time of course, though they still sparked on occasion, especially if we went to town and ran into our former classmates. Here's a prime example:

Bella: What was Jessica thinking? Tell me now.

Me: Er…

Bella: That bitch. I just know she's gonna run that big yap of hers to everyone we went to school with and tell them that we got married because you knocked me up. That's what she was thinking isn't it?

Me: Well-

Bella: I'll fix her little red wagon some day. Maybe after I'm changed I'll come back and bite her when she's having period acne and a bad hair day and leave her that way, frozen for all eternity.

Me: Actually, Jessica was thinking how beautiful you look and that she hopes the baby is a girl so she can buy the cute little dress she saw in The Growing Tree Shop last week. She also wants to throw you a surprise baby shower.

Bella: _(Crying)_ I'm a horrible person, Edward. Horrible and mean! I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I feel like a big fat mean old bi-

Edward: Bella, you're not a bitch.

Bella: I was going to say biddy, not bitch.

Me: Uh-oh

See what I mean? When we returned back home to our cottage, she cried half the night and then had her way with me all the next morning. I'm not supposed to get tired, but even a vampire has his limits. I was so worn out by the time Thanksgiving rolled around that I practically flew to Canada when Emmett suggested a hunting trip. And then, as soon as we arrived in Canada, I practically flew all the way back home a mere few hours later – I couldn't bear to be apart from her. I was as emotionally charged as she was.

It didn't help that we had no idea as to the anticipated date of delivery either. Carlisle tried in vain to target the date by using the most advanced ultrasound machine, but her uterus was so hard that it was impossible to get a clear picture. Her stomach was larger than in a typical pregnancy but not ridiculously so. Since Bella didn't have a menstrual cycle due to the type of pill Gerandy had prescribed, we had to use Alice as our guide. She predicted it would happen in mid-winter, possibly February.

We started talking about names.

Bella: What do you think about combining my mother and your mother's names?

Me: You mean Renee Elizabeth?

Bella: No, Renesmee. You know after Renee and Esme?

Me: _(disappointed)_ Oh.

Bella: You hate it! Admit it!

Me: Well, er, I think hate is a rather strong word. But-yes-it's the ugliest name I've ever heard. In fact that name is so repulsive it should be banned from the Vital Records Department altogether. Furthermore, when they get the certificate from the hospital with the name Renesmee on it, they should file it under unacceptable and contact the new parents immediately for mediation and counseling.

Bella: _(laughing) _Wow, Edward, it's a good thing I was just kidding.

Me: _(relieved beyond measure)_ You were?

Bella: Yes, I was kidding, don't be a dumbass. There's only one name I would ever choose and that's Charlotte.

Me: Charlotte? You mean after my sister? Bella, that means so much to me! I know I told you that Alice saw that it was a girl, but I never told you that Alice saw the name Charlotte Cullen on a baby cup in her visions – did she tell you?

Bella: _(pulling a silver baby cup out of her purse)_ Do you mean this one? I had it engraved last week. Angela gave it to me as a shower gift and didn't know what name to put on it. And to answer your question, no, Alice never indicated to me that this was a name she saw in a vision. I just knew right away that Charlotte was the only name that I'd ever consider for a little girl. I know how much you loved your sister, Edward; I knew you'd want to honor her this way.

Me: I love you…

Bella: I love you too! Let's go back to the cottage and see what else I bought in town, K? I'll give you a clue. It's hyacinth blue AND has satin…

Me: _(Hopefully)_ Is it a new bra?

Bella: Well, my boobs are a LOT bigger now.

Me: Yes, yes they ARE. Let's go check them out and see if they've gotten even bigger, shall we?

Bella: Do you think my boobs will stay this size after I've had the baby?

Me: One can only hope so, Bella.

Bella: Hey, I thought you loved my boobs before I got knocked up with your vamp juice.

Me: Er, well, yes…but… _(Save me…somebody, anybody…please?)_

Bella: Never mind baby, I'm just messing with you. I know you love my breasts regardless of how big they are. They always make you whimper.

Me: They do?

Bella: Well, come back with me to the cottage, and we'll conduct an experiment to find out.

Me: Will it be a controlled experiment?

Bella: No, it will be an out of control experiment.

And it was. Completely out of control. Carlisle had to take the rest of the family on an extended hunting expedition to escape the fumes from our "laboratory." Pfft! As if payback wasn't due towards the lot of them, Carlisle and Esme included.

Christmas came and went. We still had no idea when to expect our little miracle, but if Bella's stomach was any indication, we hoped it would be sooner rather than later; by this time she was huge!

Bella: Do you think I'm fat, Edward?

Me: No, not at all, Love. You look wonderful.

Bella: Are you lying to me?

Me: No, I am not lying about you looking wonderful.

Bella: Okay, just about the fat part then.

Me: Well, love, you ARE pregnant…you're bound to put on a few pounds.

Bella: Well, if anything goes wrong during the delivery I hope you won't have to change me and make me eternally fat.

Me: That's highly unlikely to happen, sweetheart, but even if I do have to change you, your body will be perfect, I promise. Besides, I love curves!

Bella: You do?

Me: Yes, especially YOUR curves! Now then…isn't it time for Dr. Phil to come on? I think he's doing a show about-

Bella: Fuck Dr. Phil

Me: No, thank you.

Bella: No, I mean I don't want to watch Dr. Phil. I'm so sick of him. He never has any good shows anymore. I want to watch "I didn't know I was pregnant."

Me: What? You mean the show where women don't know that they're pregnant and they end up giving birth in filthy public toilets?

Bella: Yep, that's the one.

Me: Okay, but promise me that you won't get any ideas.

Bella: Don't worry; I never go into public toilets anyway. I'd rather go in my pants.

Me: _(Distastefully)_ Now there's an image.

Bella: This coming from the man who hasn't moved his bowels in almost one hundred years. You do realize that our baby will have poo-poo's and you'll have diaper duty, right?

Me: Umm, no. That will be Uncle Emmett's job. He came from a large family and is therefore the most experienced when it comes to diapering AND, er, duties.

We began to stock up on diapers and other baby supplies. Bella decided to wait to tell Renee about the pregnancy until after the baby arrived. She also chose not to tell her about the vampire aspect of our lives until it became absolutely necessary. Renee was inclined to both flights of fancy as well as a tendency to worry. It was enough that her father knew and accepted the situation as well as he did.

January arrived, and it was met with great excitement in the Cullen household. On New Year's Eve, we had a big party and invited many of our friends and extended family to join us. The Denali sisters and several of our Irish cousins came to Forks for the festivities. All of them were very excited about the impending birth of our child, and all had sworn to keep our secret safe so as not to alert the Volturi. Nahuel joined us at the very last minute, and it was exciting to discover that he and Kate appeared to have formed an attachment.

With the impending birth, Carlisle decided it was imperative that we keep ourselves well fed while at the same time keeping a careful watch on Bella. Together we poured over various methods to get the baby out of Bella safely, should she be unable to have a vaginal birth. Because her uterus was hard as a rock, it became a nightmare trying to find the right surgical knife, should we need one; so far every knife with which we stabbed ourselves bent like it was made of rubber. It was very frightening to say the least! As to the possibility of Bella being able to successfully deliver a baby vaginally, well, it was tenuous at best. Her pelvis was fairly narrow, and this was no ordinary baby. Having very little (as in nothing) to go by, we were left with no choice but to make assumptions, which is never a good thing. Carlisle preferred to call them hypotheses, of course. Call them what you will, it was simply a guess as to how she could deliver the baby safely, or at all. One thought was that her uterus would somehow soften and allow him the opportunity to perform a cesarean section should the need arise. But, as I said, this was only a best case scenario and I was terrified, although I hid my fears from Bella. Or at least I thought I did.

Bella: Baby, what's wrong? You seem so tense and worried.

Me: Nothing is wrong, love.

Bella: Don't give me that crap, Edward. You've been pinching your nose so hard this past week that I'm surprised it hasn't crumbled to dust.

Me: _(faltering)_ Sweetheart, I swear to you that I'm fine. I'm just…

Bella: _(knowingly)_ Worried?

Me: _(Falling apart)_ Yes, YES, I'm worried, damn it! As Emmett would so eloquently put it, I'm scared shitless! I don't want to lose you, Bella! I can't lose you! I won't! If anything should happen to you or to our baby I couldn't go on living! I wouldn't want to! I-

Bella: Shhh…baby…shush. Come here…

Bella held me in her arms all night long, calming me and re-assuring me that she wasn't "going to go without at fight." And then she slayed me all over again when she uttered the words, "I trust you."

She trusted me to keep her safe, but I feared her trust was misplaced. I had no idea how to assist her in bringing our child into this world and neither did Carlisle. But Bella refused to hear any of that; she told me that what it all boiled down to was faith.

Faith.

I recall the day when I began to believe it might be possible that I had a soul after all. That day seemed so far away to me, yet it was only a little over a year ago, which is nothing but a mere wrinkle in time for a vampire.

Faith.

I began to pray. We all did; even Alice, who until this point had no faith in anything beyond her visions, of which there were no new ones to report. Alice told me that her visions regarding the baby were cloudy and vague, but that she still knew that, in spite of everything, both Bella and our child would be safe. When I asked her how she knew, she only smiled and uttered one word. Yeah, the F word.

Faith…

Three days ago our family decided it was time for a small hunting trip. As previously stated, it was important that we keep ourselves fueled for the birth; we needed to be on top of our game. More importantly, Carlisle wanted to have as many units of animal blood on reserve, both for Bella's nutrition, as well as for our new baby's diet, which he could only assume would include a need for blood. The human blood in Bella's blood type had arrived in the morning by special delivery. He was determined to keep plenty of that nearby, as well as morphine should Bella require either of them. He also quietly suggested that I fill several syringes with my venom in case of an emergency transformation which might require a quick injection. I remember going out back and performing this task; it nearly broke my heart. Yes, I wanted to change Bella and keep her with me for all eternity, but not like this. Not when our lives were filled with so much hope and the promise of new life. But I had no choice…and I put myself in God's hands.

Faith.

Does that seem strange for a vampire to do this? Perhaps. But faith was all I had left to hold onto, and I held on to it with everything I had.

Carlisle needed as many hands as possible to collect the animal blood, so the family had no choice but to go with him. He stopped by the cottage before he left to inform us that Rose chose to stay behind should we need her help. And as it turned out…

Bella woke up on the morning of January 13th with an anguished cry and a heart gripping moan. I was already on alert before her first cry was uttered.

As the first tightening in her lower abdomen began, an amazing thing took place; I heard the thoughts of our child loud and clear. I gasped when I realized that she was talking to me in utero, and I nearly fell off the bed in my excitement.

Of course, at that precise moment, Bella chose to wake up crying out, "Oh, my God… what the fuck was that? Ow!" Much as I wanted to lay my head down on Bella's stomach and listen to our baby tell me that she loved the sound of my voice and that of her mother's, I knew I had to act immediately. Bella's safety was everything to me. Everything!

I called Rose quickly on the phone to let her know what was happening and she rushed to prepare the delivery room that Carlisle set up in my old bedroom. I immediately called Carlisle and left him an urgent message telling him to come home at once, then scooped Bella up into my arms and carefully carried her up to the main house.

Bella was the bravest girl I had ever known in the minutes that followed her first contraction. Once she realized what was happening she became calm and resolute; saying, she would "do this thing," then asking, "Are you with me, baby?"

I was quick to assure her that I was one hundred percent on board.

Even though inside I was secretly paralyzed with fear.

Rose took one look at my face after we had checked her vitals (which were surprisingly excellent) and told me to get my "ass outside for a moment" because she wanted to talk to me.

Rose: Edward, the reason I stayed behind was because I knew you would fall apart if Bella went into labor. I sure wish you'd prove me wrong here, mister.

Me: Rose, I…

Rose: I know, Edward. I know. But listen, I figured if anyone had the balls to keep you in check AND help Bella, well, it would have to be me.

Me: _(Sarcastically_) And why is that?

Rose _(Sighing_) Well, four reasons. My history for one thing; I've never drunk blood from a human, unlike everyone else in the family, except of course, Carlisle. Anyway, I don't even crave human blood, so that's reason number one. Reason number two: I love babies. Always have. I can't wait to see my niece arrive, and I want to be a part of bringing her into the world. Number three: I am a great mechanic. I know my way around a car; I figure if I can install a new engine on a fifty year old Chevy, rebuild its transmission, change the spark plugs, fix the carburetor, replace the tires, swap out the alternator, AND do it all in 20 minutes or less, well, I think I can get a baby out of Bella's uterus without even breaking a sweat.

Me: Um, Rose, you don't actually sweat. Vampire, remember?

Rose: I know that, I was being ironic, dumbass.

Me: Hey, do not take the nickname Bella gave me in vain. What's your fourth reason? _(Holding_ _my breath)_

Rose: _(Emphatically)_ I love Bella.

That was all I needed to hear.

Me: _(overcome with gratitude)_ Oh, thank God you're here, Rose. I love you!

Rose: _(Embarrassed) _I love you too, you big old stick in the mud.

Bella: _(Yelling at the top of her lungs)_ Will you two please get your vomit-producing-freaking-I'm-auditioning-for-a-damn-Hallmark-Commercial asses back in here? I feel like I have to push! Urrrgh!

We shot in there so fast that the windows shook with the velocity of our speed!

All those worries about Bella's pelvis, the size of the baby, or its chewing its way out of Bella's stomach, were for naught. Charlotte entered the world with one push and a big swoosh, then landed right into Rose's outstretched arms. I stood beside Rose with my mouth agape; I was completely shocked….utterly stupefied…ridiculously dumfounded. All that worrying…for nothing! Charlotte pretty much birthed herself. I read her thoughts as I leaned over and cut the umbilical cord and was amazed that she seemed to be assuring me that she knew what to do so she wouldn't hurt Bella in the process.

I gasped when I heard her thoughts, and my heart filled with happiness even as my body shuddered in relief. My Bella was going to be fine and our baby was here! I rushed to kiss Bella, who lay back on the pillow with a bewildered, "what the hell just happened" look on her face.

No matter how long I exist, the images of what happened after Charlotte's birth will be some of the most pivotal moments of my existence. My mind automatically flashes to this particularly painful memory.

Me: Bella! We have a little girl…Charlotte is here, Bella. And, she is beautiful just like her gorgeous mother! Oh, Bella, thank you. Thank you so much…I love you, LOVE you. Just look- Bella, see for yourself. Isn't she beautiful? Bella? Bella?

Bella: Edward, I love you….

Me: I love you too. (_Frantic)_ Bella, what's wrong? Bella?

Bella: Love you… _(Whispering and then closing her eyes with a long moan.)_

And that's when I smelled the blood. It was pouring out of Bella like an open spigot. The sheets were drenched with it and within moments the carpet below was stained a dark crimson. I grabbed Bella's chin and looked on in horror as the light began to fade from her eyes. Fear shot through me, and in a panic I handed the baby to Rose, who placed her immediately in the nearby incubator. I grabbed the syringe and prepared to shoot it into Bella's heart. Surely she wouldn't be able to survive such a blood loss. But Rose shoved me aside and told me to check Bella's vitals, which I rushed to do. I sighed in relief; although her pulse and heartbeat were extremely high, at least she still had them both. She wasn't dead, she had simply passed out. However, from the amount of blood that continued to pour out of her, I knew she would be soon.

I begged Rose to let me inject her with my venom before it became too late, but she told me to "shut the fuck up" while she checked Bella's uterus to locate the source of the bleeding.

And that's when all hell broke loose. I grimace now remembering.

Rose: Edward, quick! Get me my bag…there's another baby in here!

Me: Huh?

Rose: Oh, for Christ sake…never mind. I knew I would end up having to do this myself. Go stand up by Bella's head, and whatever you do, don't watch!

Me: _(mouth agape and rooted to the spot)_ Uh…

Rose: MOVE IT!

I moved it.

I rushed to Bella's side and stroked the hair off of her face… I told her how much I loved her. I begged her not to leave me. From the incubator I could see that Charlotte was sound asleep and tucked safely within its depths. A shock of dark hair peeped out from a tiny pink hat that Esme knitted only last night. I saw the words, Daddy's Girl, crocheted on the sides, and it made my heart happy and sad all at the same time. I was thrilled to be a father…it was beyond anything I had ever hoped or thought possible. But as I stood beside my wife with the syringe in my hand and waited for Rose to do whatever the hell she was doing down there, my entire being became filled with sadness; I might lose everything before it had even begun. Rose's comment that there was another baby inside of Bella barely registered in my big marble head. I was overwhelmed with emotion. Everything played out in slow motion, like something out of a nightmare or a horror film. The blood continued to pour out of my wife, and I was terrified.

Finally, finally, Rose yelled at me to "Do it NOW!"

I didn't need to be told twice. I shoved the syringe into her heart so hard that the needle broke upon impact. I grabbed the other one from my pocket and tossed the broken one aside. This time I injected it correctly and the venom released into her heart with a slight press of the syringe.

Rose looked at me expectantly with a big smile on her face. I gasped when I finally processed her words; there in her arms was indeed another baby. I stood there mutely for a second just staring at it.

"Congratulations, Daddy. You have a son. And God help him…he looks exactly like you!"

Rose held him up quickly for me to see that he did indeed look like me. His dark red hair stood straight up like a cock's comb, and I felt my heart swell with emotion.

I released my hold from Bella's shoulder, which I'd held on to for dear life, or in my case, for dear existence. I was so conflicted. A part of me yearned to hold both my new son and my daughter, but I couldn't bear to leave Bella's side. Rose sensed my conflict and rushed to bathe, diaper, and wrap him in a yellow blanket. Finally she prepared a bottle of animal blood, which she popped into his tiny pink mouth. I watched in delight as I saw his lips curve into a happy crooked smile. Within seconds he was in my arms and his sister was wheeled to my side. I looked at Rose in astonishment.

"Rose, I…I…"

"Edward, I know. It's going to be alright. Charlotte is fine…her birth was incredibly easy. Just look at her…she is so beautiful!" Rose carefully lifted Charlotte out of her incubator and put a bottle to her tiny rosebud lips.

I felt my throat bob uncontrollably with emotion. Charlotte is fine I told myself, and from the way my son was draining his bottle (which he did in less than thirty seconds!) it appeared he was fine too. I dropped a small kiss on his head. I wondered what we would call him. We didn't have a boy's name reserved…the possibility of Alice's prediction about the sex being incorrect never entered our minds. His red hair curled around my finger. I smiled; it looked like a maple leaf in the fall. I can't help but smile now as I replay this scene in my head.

Me: Rose, how is it we didn't hear my son's heart? We all have such incredible hearing; we should have heard two heartbeats. How, how is it possible that we didn't know…didn't have a clue?

Rose: I think it was the way he was positioned in her womb. I'm not positive of course; there was so much blood and the placenta abrupted before I could get him out. Maybe the placenta acted as a buffer between the two babies. Or maybe their hearts beat in tandem. I'm not a doctor, I'm just a mechanic.

Me: And a new Aunt.

I'd stood up and removed the empty bottle gently from my son's lips, laid him over my shoulder, and patted his back softly.

Baby boy: Urrrp!

Rose: That's gonna leave a mark. You'd better invest in Tide with bleach, Pops.

I wiped the bloody drool from his mouth, kissed him on his forehead, and laid him in his incubator. His mind was as silent to me as his mother's, but he looked content. I sat on the bed and gathered Bella into my arms. She was quiet and still. Too still. Surely something must be wrong. Why isn't she screaming? Why isn't she writhing in pain? Why-

Rose: Oh, Edward, will you relax? Bella is going to be fine, just give her a few days.

Me _(stuttering)_ But …she's so quiet, Rose…she's not even moaning. You know she has to be in tremendous pain.

Rose: Nah, I don't know that and neither do you. What I do know is that before you injected your venom into her; good job by the way – you nearly ruptured her heart with the way you plunged the first needle into her. That alone could have killed her for sure.

Me: Oh, my God –

Rose: Oh, will you calm the hell down? You didn't rupture it, dumbass. Her heart is fine. She is going to be fine. The reason she's not bitching and moaning is because she can't move; I gave her a big old dose of Mr. Morphine just before she started to curl up her toes.

Just then pandemonium arrived in the form of Emmett, who entered the house, took one sniff, and was upstairs within seconds. The rest of the family darted up the stairs close behind.

Emmett: Edward, how is Bella? Did she have the baby? Christ, we could smell the blood before we even turned into the driveway. Oh, my God…what is this? Wait…what? You - you had TWO babies?

Before I had the chance to explain to him what had happened, Alice shot into the room like the Tasmanian devil.

Alice: That's what I was trying to you before you flew up the stairs. I had a vision just before we arrived back in Forks that Bella almost died because there was another baby still inside her and that Rosalie had to remove it – with her teeth.

I gasped upon hearing Alice's words. _Her teeth?_ That's when I noticed that Rose's mouth and chin were streaked with Bella's blood.

Emmett took one look at Rose and placed his hands on either side of her shoulders. "Baby, is it true? Did you…did you really have to use your teeth?" I watched in shock as I saw her chin quiver, and my throat bobbed when her face suddenly crumbled. Emmett gathered her into his arms and murmured, "My brave girl…" and carried her out into the hall. I could hear his soothing words and Rose's choked voice as she told him all that had transpired. My throat tightened further with emotion; if I lived for an eternity I could never thank my sister enough for what she had done for my family. Vampires rarely experience change, but in that moment my feelings towards Rosalie Hale deepened into something that was quite profound. Rose was now my hero, and I would forever be in her debt.

After that everything seemed to happen all at once. Esme rushed in to see the babies, Carlisle checked on Bella, and Jasper waited to be given the word to call Charlie and tell him the news. Carlisle assured me that Bella was doing well, and he was eager to hear all the details of Bella's labor, birth, and her transformation. He was amazed that Charlotte had been delivered so easily and was completely stunned to learn that there had been another child in Bella's uterus. Just as Rose had surmised, Carlisle agreed that their heartbeats had most likely beat in tandem, though he admitted that this was simply an educated guess.

With the assurance that Bella was going to be fine, and that the babies were doing well, I began to settle down somewhat. Following his initial examination, Carlisle told me that the babies both seemed to be thriving and that they appeared to be quite unique. He noted that Charlotte seemed to be more physically developed than my son, whose sleepy eyes still hadn't opened fully. Charlotte, on the other hand, was wide awake, alert, and babbling – both in sounds and thoughts. I shared this with Carlisle, and he mused that Charlotte perhaps had inherited more of my vampire traits, but again, this was only a guess. He did remark that their temperatures were identical; both were colder than the typical human, but of course, since their hearts beat and blood coursed through their veins, they were still a mystery to us all. Charlotte's thoughts were fascinating to me, though they were mostly fragments and snatches of her memories in utero. I couldn't wait for her mother to waken so I could share them with her.

Charlie arrived about thirty minutes after Jasper phoned and I stepped out into the hall so he could have a few minutes alone with his daughter, I felt myself overcome with emotion as I heard him weep softly for the loss of his only child. Even though Carlisle assured him repeatedly that Bella would return within a few days and be stronger and more vibrant than ever before, well, it was just so hard for him. With his guard down, I was easily able to tap into his thoughts, and I felt the cloak of guilt clutch and choke me as I heard his anguished cries and felt his sorrow. Alice took my hand and led me down the hall to the nursery where Esme took one look at me and gathered me into her arms. I smile as I recall her soothing words and her loving touch as she stroked my hair. I may be a husband and a new father, but in that moment I needed my mother.

Later on, Charlie came into the hall and sought me out. He assured me that in spite of everything he knew that Bella would be okay, and that he didn't blame me for anything; as he said to me, "this was what Bella wanted," and who was he to question her decision? He asked me if I wanted him to call Renee and tell her the news. We finally called Renee last week to tell her that Bella was expecting and she was more than a little upset when she found out how far along Bella was in the pregnancy. Bella calmed her down and told her that she was like those girls in that dumb TV show, "I didn't know I was pregnant." She and Renee had had a good laugh over that; apparently she and Bella watched that show together before Bella had left Phoenix.

I told Charlie that he had my permission to call Renee and tell her the news but asked him to do his best to dissuade her from flying out immediately; it was far too risky to have another human in the household when Bella awoke. It was hard enough to worry about Charlie's safety. Charlie agreed and told me that he would tell Renee that the twins had arrived prematurely and Carlisle wanted to limit their exposure to anything that might compromise their immune system. I was amazed at his quick witted lie, and he chuckled at my surprise, saying, "I'm a cop, Edward. I'm a good liar, I have to be."

That was three days ago…three of the longest fucking days of my ridiculously long life. I miss my wife. I look down at my children and their warmth and soft little sounds comfort me. Still…I miss my wife, damn it! When, WHEN is she ever going to open her eyes and return to me?

"Bella, please…I need you …please…please…come back to me, baby. Please, oh please…" I choke out in a strangled voice. I hadn't meant to do that…I need to keep my shit together just as I promised Bella… (Her words, not mine, just to be clear.) But it's so hard. I need her…I need my WIFE!

"_Edward..."_

I gasp when I hear my name and see one eyelid begin to flutter. Jasper hears my sharp breath and is in the room like a flash. Rose immediately follows and plucks the babies safely out of my arms and heads down the hall to the nursery. Carlisle arrives at the door, and I hear him whisper to Jasper to allow us a few minutes of privacy. I feel Jasper's hand on my shoulder, and I nod my head at him curtly. I tell him I will call him, if I need his assistance. Then I lay my head down on her chest and hold my breath as I wait for her to open her eyes and come back to me. A few minutes pass and I hear our son's cries fill the nursery. Esme's soft voice croons a lullaby and the sound of it soothes both him and me.

"Edward…is that our baby?"

I gasp out loud when I hear Bella's musical voice and I lift my head, startled. I gasp even louder when I see her eyes; they are no longer the deep chocolate brown that I loved so well, nor are they the typical crimson eyes of a newborn vampire.

They're gold.

AFITR

**A/N: Okay guys let'er rip! For those of you who expressed strong opinions about Bella having a "damn, shitty baby," well she didn't have **_**a**_** baby, she had **_**babies**_**. Sorry for bitch slapping you twice! But you should all know that this is the way I planned it right from the very start. (Well, at least from the point when I decided to turn this story into more than a simple seduction in order to get Edward to stay with Bella. ;)**

**Yes, there is another part to this epilogue. Bella began this story, so it is only fair that she brings it to a close. I made a promise to Coleen BPOV would be ready to beta within a week or two and I intend to keep that promise. (Fingers crossed.) **

**In order to avoid confusion with the timeline I am putting the last outtake, **_**Don't you want me baby?**_** back in with the original story. I will eventually remove all outtakes and add them back to the original story. I do like the idea of sending you post cards from the Cullens from time to time, so the outtake story will likely become a future take story that will chronicle the adventures of Charlotte and her brother. (What on earth should B&E name him anyway? Readers may share their wish list with me and I will be happy to give them to Bella and Edward to mull over.)**

**I hope you all enjoyed this epilogue. I know that a few of you wanted them to remain child free, but this was my final nod to canon, and honestly, with their unlimited resources and a supportive family at their beck and call, I don't think a couple of babies will upset the dynamics of these two lovers as they continue their journey! **

**Please take a moment to leave me a review- they mean so much to me! As for the baby free zone reviewers…sigh…I know I owe at least one Jasper outtake to a certain reader who I bargained with back in January. Double sigh…how do you want him…in the shower or against the wall? (Don't worry, Alice is going to be busy shopping for baby boy clothes…she won't know a thing.)**

**Thank you for all your continuing support!**

**Jayne XO!**


	29. Chapter 30: Baby, I'm yours

Chapter 30: Baby, I'm Yours

_**Disclaimer: Meh- I still don't own it but it sure owns me! Thanks to Stephenie Meyers whose dream became our dream and for giving us a romantic pairing who will rightfully take their place in literary history.**_

_**Big thanks to coleen561 who is the best beta in the fandom. I couldn't have done it without you, girl!**_

Epilogue Part Two

Baby, I'm yours

I am lying in the bed that is in Edward's old room. It is the same bed that Jasper gave us last year as a form of apology for nearly attacking me on my eighteenth birthday. This bed, while not old in years, is still rich with history - our history. It is the bed in which Edward and I first made love and talked about our future together. So many memories in such a short period of time…

I remember thinking then that my life had finally begun, and in many ways it had. When Edward and I discussed a birth plan in the months that followed our return to Forks, it seemed that it was only fitting that our child would be born in this bed, here in his old room. But we didn't expect that this bed would also become my funeral bier, although we certainly knew in our hearts that it was a very real possibility that I might die during the birth process.

Edward was especially fearful that I would not survive the birth of our daughter. As the months passed, his fears increased. Although he tried to keep them from me, I knew, as only a wife knows, that my husband was deeply troubled. One night he finally broke down and shared his fears with me. I can still remember the tremors from his body as I held him in my arms and tried to calm him. I can't lie and say that I wasn't as scared as he was, but as is often the case with Edward and me, when he flies off the handle, I remain calm, and vice versa. It seems to be an instinctual thing for which I am grateful. But I was scared. In all honesty I was, to quote Emmett, "scared shitless." I didn't want to die, not when I had everything to live for. I was young, madly in love, and about to become a mother.

A mother! Who knew that this would ever be possible? I certainly didn't, and neither did Edward. Even though it was quite a shock to discover I was pregnant, it was not unwelcome; we were both thrilled. In fact, the entire Cullen clan and even Charlie were beyond excited at the thought of having a baby in their lives. Vampires by nature are solitary and often selfish creatures, and although the Cullens did not typify the vampire lifestyle, they had never had to care or nurture any living thing before. Therefore my pregnancy, though not planned and certainly not without grave dangers, was the most exciting thing to happen to any of them in their vampire existence.

For my part, I had always wanted to be a mother. However, I had put that desire in the deepest recesses of my mind, because I never in a million years thought it would be possible.

But it was.

Alice had a vision that included seeing the name Charlotte engraved on the sliver baby cup so we knew we were going to have a girl. As soon as I recovered from the shock from finding out I was indeed pregnant, I became very excited; a little girl would be so much fun! But there was another reason too. I knew in the back of my mind that should I die while bringing her into the world, a daughter would be a special comfort for her father.

And someone needed to be there for my Edward - I couldn't bear to think of him being left alone again. My poor, sweet Edward had been alone for nearly a century. Considering that his sister's death had left a void in his heart that no one could ever completely fill, it seemed only natural that our daughter would carry her name. I admit I liked to tease him about other names and get his feathers ruffled (okay I _loved_ getting him all fired up!) but simply put: there was no other choice in my mind but Charlotte. Edward was so excited when I told him this; I honestly think he would have cried a little if that were possible.

Anyway, I have lain on this bed for the last three days listening to snatches and fragments of conversations. I haven't been able to move…first from the effects of the morphine and later from the painful fire that swept through my veins and extinguished my humanity. I started to feel the shift in my transformation process earlier this morning. The flames no longer pierced through my being, and I began to feel some movement.

"Bella, please…I need you …please…please…come back to me, baby. Please, oh please…" I can hear my husband's agonized pleas, and I struggle to respond.

"Edward," I manage to murmur. My throat feels like it is on fire and then I remember that it will feel like this for the rest of eternity. A realization dawns that I'm okay with this. I feel a small smile begin to tug at the corners of my mouth. The weight on my chest suddenly lifts, and I open my eyes and hear an audible gasp.

"Bella!" my husband cries, "Oh Bella…you've come back to me!"

I laugh inwardly; Edward is being dramatic as usual! I wiggle my toes and then my legs. Oddly enough, with the exception of my throat, I still feel like me. But there is also an incredible range of emotions and longings that fill my being from head to toe. I want to jump, I want to run, I want to dance, I want to shout. I want to throw my head back and well...I just want to do everything!

But most of all I want to …play? A strong sense of mischief comes over me as I formulate a plan within vampire seconds. I have no idea why I am doing this. None at all. But…I cannot seem to stop myself from teasing him.

"Edward…Oh, Edward…" I pretend to gasp. My voice sounds even weirder than I intend; who removed my vocal chords and replaced them with bells? Huh. I can't ponder over this new development if I want to fuck with Edward, so I close my mind off to this thought momentarily. Closing my mind is easier said than done. A thousand smells, sights, sounds, and feelings assault my senses making me gasp for real this time. When I open my eyes, I'm clear on the other side of the room with my back pressed tightly against the wall.

Craaack!

I look up at the ceiling and a piece of plaster plops on top of my head with a thud.

"Ow," I deadpan as I brush the mess off my head. A piece flies off and sails clear across the room and smacks Edward in the nose. He pinches it.

I burst into raucous laughter. The church bells peal out of my throat like the Hunchback of Notre Dame is getting the masses ready for first service.

Edward is beside me in a flash.

Grasping my hand in his he holds it next to his heart (which isn't pumping but his chest is going through the motions same as always. I lay my own hand flat against his chest to try and still it.

"Bella, are you alright, love?"

Okay, for some reason this makes me laugh harder! I need to get it together if I'm going to pull this off. I make an effort to compose myself and look him in the eyes and say, "Uh, no. No I'm not alright, Edward. I had a baby and died before I was able to deliver, so I'm thinking I am most decidedly not _alright._ But, hey - I get eternal life with a hot sexy vamp by my side so I'm thinking I got a fair trade. What are your thoughts? Now, where's my baby?" I smirk lazily. At least I hope its lazy looking - it's hard to tell, what with me being a vamp and all.

"Holy shit - I'm a vamp! Vamp-woman. Mama-Vamp. Do I want to be called Mama? How about Mum? Wasn't your mother, Mum? What do you think of Ma? Personally I never liked it - it sounds like a goat. But I dunno - now it sounds kinda cute. Maaaaa!" I bray loudly.

"So, what da ya think?" I say with a wink.

Okay - can I just say the look on his face is priceless, cuz it totally is.

"Ahhh….Sweetheart, are you alright? You're not acting like a typical newborn. Jasper!" he bellows at the door. "I need y-"

"Oh, slow your roll, Jasper," I holler at the door just as it is about to be torn off its hinges by my frantic brother-in-law. I concentrate on the door for a moment and imagine a steel barrier that no one can move.

"What the…" I hear Jasper exclaim on the other side.

This really cracks me up and I almost drop the shield trying to get myself together. I can't even begin to explain how good I feel right now - sort of like an effervescent bubble of pure happiness is coursing through my dead veins. I take another look at the door and the shield secures itself back into position.

"Fuck!"

I smile when I hear Jasper's expletive and my smile morphs into a grin when I hear Alice in the hall telling Jasper to get his ass away from the door and that, "Bella is going to be just fine." There is laughter in her voice, and I know that she knows what I'm up to.

Eh - I am going to love my shield. I'm so happy that Zaffrina and I had a chance to practice using it before I calved and became Vamp-Mama.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going back to bed," I say with a yawn, as I stroll over to the bed and sit down with a thump.

THUD!

Aaaaaand the bed just collapsed on the floor. Huh. In all my previous fantasies the bed crashing to the floor involved Edward being on top of me, and not hovering over me with a look of utter amazement.

Ooops, my bad. I don't know my own strength. Oh well, I guess Jasper will either have to fix it or replace it. I lie back on the ruined bed, fling my arm dramatically over my forehead and close my eyes.

"Bella! Love…are you hurt? Bella?" Edward leans over me anxiously. His eyes are shiny and black, so I know he hasn't fed in days. For some reason this sobers my mirth, and the game I was playing seems ridiculous to me now. What was I thinking? My poor husband has been frantically trying to keep everything and everyone together in this house. I don't even know the details yet; I can barely remember the birth. I touch his face with one hand, and he presses his cheek into my palm. I caress it as gently as I can.

"Gotcha," I whisper to him. I try to smile but I can't; the happiness I felt upon waking has been replaced with a feeling of sadness. Oh Lord, I hope I'm not going to be a moody post-partum Mommy for the rest of my eternity. That would really suck.

"Were you…were you _playing_ with me?" Edward stutters in a bewildered voice.

"Mm-hmm, I was."

"And you're not playing anymore?" he asks uncertainly.

"No," I whisper softly.

"Good," he whispers back as he leans down and presses his mouth against mine. The shock of feeling his warm soft lips overwhelms me, and I gasp loudly. Edward swallows my gasps as he deepens the kiss and re-introduces me to his tongue. Oh my god - his taste! If I thought he tasted good when I was a human I guess I didn't know what taste was. His tongue softly strokes mine, and I am completely lost as a wave of pure lust sweeps over my body. I grab him hard, flip him on his back, and straddle him with my new vamp thighs. I flex my muscles hard, and he winces and says, "Ow!"

Oopsie.

"I'm sorry," I whisper against his lips. "Are you okay?" From the hard outline of his erection against my thigh I assume this is a rhetorical question, which for some reason makes me giggle. What the hell is wrong with me anyway? It's like I'm drunk or something. And speaking of drinks…I could sure use one. Like a bloody Mary.

"I'm dying of thirst; I need a drink," I announce to his kiss. "And I want to see my baby. And I want to make love to you."

"In that particular order?" he asks with a smirk.

My head is so confused! Do I want to do these things in this particular order?

"I-I don't know," I stutter uncertainly. God, I'm so confused! And why the hell am I stuttering? I thought vampires weren't supposed to stutter. Leave it to me to carry my awkwardness into my eternal existence.

As if to answer my uncertainty, Edward puts his hands gently on either side of my face and presses his forehead against mine.

"Bella, of course you're confused and uncertain, love. And I promise you, stuttering on occasion is perfectly normal - even for a vampire. You - you're doing wonderfully well, sweetheart. And - and you're fucking beautiful!" he blurts out in his own adorable stammer. Wait, what? He did hear me? He must have read my mind!

"Did you just read my mind?" I gasp in surprise.

"Well, yes - but I only caught a glimpse of it for a second or two. I think your shield must have slipped…"

I look at him, and a smile spreads slowly across my face.

"I didn't feel a thing. I guess my subconscious must have let you in."

"Do you mind? I mean - I know you've always been very guarded of your private thoughts…" he asks hesitantly. He's right in that I do like to keep my inner most thoughts to myself, but not with him.

"No baby, I don't mind right now," (but FYI… I reserve the right to _mind_ later!) "In fact, let me show you a little of my mind," I say suggestively as I slowly grind my hips against his. I feel desire spread through my body, and a craving that I have never truly experienced before courses through me. Unghhhh!

"Please…oh, please," he whispers longingly. Even though Edward has read a few of my thoughts since that day long ago when Laurent came to visit and I felt my so-called shield slip for the first time, it hasn't happened very often. So I put my own needs on the back burner and press my forehead a little harder next to his. Then I place my hands on his face and mirror his position. He sits up, and I remain straddling him. We stare deeply into each other eyes as I allow the shield to slowly lift and reveal my first thought. It's not of the first time I saw him, nor is it the first time we spoke to each other. Although those days were significant and special to me, I am recalling another moment - a moment from our weekend that we spent here, in his house, in his room, in this bed. It's not from the first time we made love, but in the moments that followed it - before I freaked out and ran to the bathroom crying because I felt guilty that I'd seduced him in order to get him to stay. I'd felt so complete in that moment…so safe…so in love with him. I hear him groan as my memory fills his mind with pictures and feelings from that moment in time. Then I feel my shield snap back into place when his hands leave my face, and I'm flipped over and he covers my body and lips with his. Desire and longing to be re-connected with him fills my being, and I rock my hips once again into his. Ohhh….

"Waaaaah!"

What the….? Oh, my God - _Charlotte_! What the hell am I doing? I had a baby a few days ago…what is wrong with me? What kind of a mother am I? I shouldn't be laying here with my sexy as sin husband panting and writhing beneath him like some kind of pole cat - I should be in the nursery with my child - soothing her, seeing her, touching her, loving her, and getting to know her. Angry and confused, I bolt from the bed and practically fly to the door. I need to get to her now!

"Bella, wait!" in a flash, Edward is beside me. He grabs me by my shoulders and turns me around quickly. I shake him off, and he drops to the floor with a thud. I stop in my tracks and look down at him frowning. Did I hurt him? Oh, God…I don't know how to drive this thing! I can't believe I knocked him to the ground like he was some kind of a pesky bug. If I can do that to my husband…_my Edward_…oh God, imagine what I might do to Charlotte. My throat feels tight and my eyes burn. But of course, even though this feels like crying, no tears leak out. It's a horrible feeling - worse than sexual tension. I feel my face begin to crumple and fall to my knees. A weird sound that began in my chest issues from my throat, and I realize it's somewhere between a whimper and a sob. I cover my face with my hands and more of these sounds pour out of me. My throat, which had felt only mildly irritated when I first woke up, now feels like it is engulfed in flames. A pair of strong arms lifts me, and I find myself in Edward's lap with my face buried next to his chest. "Shhh…" he soothes as he rocks me gently. "You're going to be alright, sweetheart…I promise."

I hear a soft knock at the door and then a gentle touch on my shoulder. I lift my head from Edward's warm embrace and see Carlisle's concerned face gazing down at me. He has a large plastic cup in his hands. I look at it and chuckle - it's a big gulp cup from Seven eleven.

"I'm assuming this isn't a cherry Slurpee," I sort of sniffle-giggle.

"Hello, Bella," Carlisle says in his quiet voice. "No, it isn't a Slurpee. But I do think it's something you'll enjoy even better and more importantly, it's something that you need." He hands me the cup, and I put my lips on the straw and suck on it greedily. Oh, God…it tastes sooo good! I drain it within seconds, and he hands me a second one quickly. I look at him in surprise, and he shifts his eyes to the door where I spy a familiar looking blue cooler. Its Charlie's fishing cooler! My dad must be here.

I stop sucking on the straw long enough to ask if my father is in the house, and Carlisle nods his head and smiles. I feel Edward's hand stroke my hair soothingly as he leans his face closer to my ear and whispers, "Are you feeling better now, love?" I nod my head as I return to my drink; the flames in my throat are now extinguished but there is still a dull ache. I suppose it will always feel that way now. But inwardly I feel so much better - calm and at peace. My head feels clearer and the myriad of wants and desires, though still present, are now under control.

"I want to see my baby," I say firmly.

Edward looks at Carlisle expectantly, and he waits for the patriarch of the family to address my demand. Carlisle looks me over with his soft, yet knowing eyes and asks me how I feel.

"Better!" I blurt out. "I mean - I'm not thirsty anymore and my head doesn't feel quite as strange," I try to explain.

"Alright then, yes, I do think you should see Charlotte - I know for a fact that she wants to see you! But first I'd like to see your reaction to her scent before we bring her in. That is, if you're agreeable?" I glance at Edward, and he nods his head encouragingly. Turning my face to Carlisle I reach out my hand as he offers me a petal pink blanket and a matching tiny cap. I bury my nose in both and inhale deeply. Oh, God - what a smell! It smells of fresh air, sunshine, Johnson's baby shampoo, and powder. It's the most heavenly smell I have ever smelled in my life!

"This is wonderful!" I gasp.

"How's your throat, Bella? Does it burn…are you thirsty for this smell?" Carlisle asks pointedly.

I mull his question over for a moment and grin. My throat doesn't burn at all - if anything this scent seems to sooth even the dullest ache at the very back of my throat. I feel great! I shake my head no and say, "Nope - my throat doesn't burn or even ache anymore…it feels…good."

Carlisle smiles broadly, and he takes the blanket and cap from me and removes another item from his pocket; a blue sock. He attempts to hand it to me, but Edward grabs it from his hands and sets it behind him.

"Umm, I think that's enough for now, Dad." Carlisle looks at him with a raised brow and Edward mimics him by raising his own. A look of understanding crosses over Carlisle's face, but rather than question it, I get up and walk over to the door. I want to see my baby, and I want to see her now! I go to open the door, but it opens before reach it. Jasper's face greets me with a smile.

"Hi, Mama," he drawls. I love his accent - he is so adorably Southern in both his words and his deeds.

"Hi, Jasper," I grin back albeit somewhat sheepishly. I feel bad for shielding him earlier. I know all he meant to do was to protect Charlotte and the rest of the family in case my newborn behavior turned aggressive. "I'm sorry I slammed the door, er, shield in your face earlier. I don't really know why I did that…" I drift off. His face is full of compassion. He walks over to me carefully and lifts my downcast face with his gentle fingers.

So, I guess we're even, Darlin?" I look at him puzzled, and he chuckles quietly.

"I'm referring to the time I nearly attacked you Bella. Surely you must remember that night?"

Edward growls at him from behind me, saying, "Jasper - now is not the time to bring up unpleasant memories from Bella's past. Surely you of all people would realize how utterly foolish it is to provoke her when she has only just woke up from her transformation."

A look passes between the two brothers, and I hear Edward mutter, "Oh," to himself. He goes over to the bed and picks up the mattress and the frame in one hand, looks it over and sets it back down. The he walks over to his closet and retrieves his tool box, "I'm just going to fix this while you two have a chance to get reacquainted. Okay?" I giggle when I see him bend over and notice his ass crack hanging out just a bit; my husband has the longest torso; it's just so hard to find jeans that fit him properly.

I shake my head at the image and turn my focus to Jasper and tell him, "Yes, I remember that night, Jazz. It was last year on my 18th birthday. I-I had a paper cut and you went, umm, a little wild. But you were very apologetic afterwards and in all honesty, the thing I remember most of all is that if that hadn't happened none of this," I say dramatically waving a hand between Edward and myself, "would have happened. None of it. So really, I guess I have you to thank for this." I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his neck, and as softly as I can manage, give him a gentle hug. (At least I hope it's gentle.) He squeezes me in return, and we both look at each other and laugh as we say, "Thank you."

Carlisle comes over to us and asks me if all my human memories are intact or fuzzy. I tell him that I have near perfect recall so far and puzzle aloud as to why that might be and if they'll fade in time.

"I don't think so, Bella. You're acting quite different than the rest of us did during our first hour as a vampire. You're quite calm and composed for a newborn… and of course _your eyes_…" he tapers off.

_My eyes?_ What the hell is wrong with my eyes? Oh…that's right, they'll be a vicious red now just like they warned me. Edward stops fixing the bed, walks over to me, and takes my hand in his as he leads us to his dresser.

"Look, Bella," he says incredulously. "See? They're not red, love, they're deep butterscotch. Just see for yourself!"

I peer into the mirror carefully and gasp when I see he is right; they are butterscotch. Cool!

"Animal blood diet," Carlisle says in satisfaction. "I had a feeling based on the way your body thrived during your gestation that this might be the case. I believe your nutrition has everything to do with your physical adjustment to your transformation. As for the emotional adjustment…well, I like to think we all played a small role in preparing you well in advance for your new lifestyle. Edward most of all, of course…" he says modestly.

"I think Bella is ready to see Charlotte," declares Jasper in an authoritative voice. "She passed my test with flying colors," he announces in a smug voice.

"You mean you tried to provoke me when you asked me if I remembered the night you nearly attacked me?"

"Yes," he says simply. "And you not only remembered it with accuracy, you forgave me and remained calm. So…shall I call for Esme to bring her in?"

Before I even have a chance to nod or utter a word Edward is at the door greeting Esme who is carrying my baby girl in her arms. She looks so happy and satisfied; her face is positively glowing. Grandmotherhood suits her, I think to myself happily.

Edward reaches for Charlotte, and Esme places her in his arms. "Here you go, Daddy. Be careful with her head, now," she warns playfully. Edward laughs at her silliness; obviously Charlotte is made of sturdier stuff, so her head probably doesn't require quite the same amount of support as a typical human baby's head would need.

"Yes, Nana…" he says back to her in a smart-alecky manner. But I watch him as he carefully settles her next to his shoulder and pats her back, "Are you ready to see your Mummy now?" he coos.

Well, I guess that answers my question about what she'll be calling me. _Mummy_…how very British of him. I grin when I recall him referring to his birth mother as Mum and that she was from Scotland. His father was English, so I guess it makes sense. Mummy…I like it!

He walks over to me and says, "Bella, why don't you sit over there by the window? Charlie brought your Grandmother Swan's rocker over last night." I look at the chair, then the baby, and nod my head slowly. I try to appear casual as I walk over to the chair and settle back into it carefully. The last thing I want to do is break this particular chair - it has so many wonderful memories attached to it, I think to myself, as I recall the many nights Edward rocked me in it while we planned our future together. I love this chair! But my dead heart is practically beating out of my chest when he stands before me. Charlotte turns her neck from the crook of his arms, and I see her face for the first time. Oh my God - she is beautiful! Her eyes are wide and chocolate brown - so deep and full of life!

"Here we are, Mummy…look… Charlotte, this is your mother - see how beautiful she is? I have the two prettiest girls in the whole wide world…how did I get so lucky?" he croons as he places her in my arms. I settle her in my arms so I can get a good look at her face.

And what a face it is! If God had sent me an angel instead of a baby I wouldn't be at all surprised. Her nose is as small as a button and her skin is as soft as a rose with cheeks that echo the beauty of this flower - they're pink and full of health. Her mouth is a perfect little rosebud too and when I trace one finger softly over it she smiles and closes her eyes. I feel a little nudge in my mind and Edward whispers, "That's her, Bella...that's her trying to get into your mind. She wants to show you, love. It's her gift you see…Charlotte, show Mummy how much you love her. Let her in, please, Bella?" I relax with the sound of his voice and gasp when my head is filled with our daughter's memories of me.

In my mind's eye I watch as Charlotte reveals to me her entry into the world and gasp aloud when I realize how easy her birth had been. A warm feeling encompasses me as she lets me feel her love and utter devotion towards Edward and me. I watch the scene unfold as she remembers her father frantically calling for me, and I gape when I see Rosalie's face fill my mind as she yells at Edward to stop before he injects me with his venom. I watch in fascination as my image on the bed begins to get smaller. I realize that Charlotte is now being held up against Rosalie's chest and she is looking at me over Rosalie's shoulder. Suddenly, my vision is filled once again with Rosalie's face and I can feel myself rocking from side to side as something soft caresses my skin. A blanket! She's remembering Rosalie wrapping her in a blanket. Just then, Charlotte looks back towards me and watches from between the slats of the bassinette.

I see my bloody and broken body. I see my own face struggling for life and I allso see Edward's creased with worry. I hear Rose call out to Edward to "stand up at my head because there's another…"

""Waaaaah!"

A piercing cry echoes from outside the hall, and my head turns sharply and the shield slams back into place.

"Waaaaah!"

I look at Edward in confusion. "What the heck is that? It sounds like a baby is crying in the other room. But wait - MY baby is here in my arms! Is - is she some kind of a ventriloquist?"

Edward laughs, "No, Bella, that's not Charlotte, I promise she isn't playing tricks on you!"

I sigh in relief, thankful that she isn't able to throw her voice like that because those puppet things are creepy.

"Umm," Edward grins crookedly as he kneels before me. "Bella, that's what Charlotte was trying to show you, love…you see, we, we had another baby; that's why I had to change you, love. He was too big, and your placenta abrupted. God, it was horrible! So much blood…I thought I was going to lose you, Bella! But, Rose…Rosalie saved your life, sweetheart. She managed to bite through your uterus and removed him before you both died," he jabbers.

_ANOTHER baby? Rosalie BIT the uterus to remove him? HIM?_

"We - we have a boy, too?" I stammer in complete amazement.

"Yes," he says with a twinkle in his eyes. "We do. We have a son, Bella. And he would love to see his Mummy too; that is if he ever stays awake long enough to open his eyes," he chuckles.

"H-how?"I stutter in astonishment.

"Well, apparently you released two eggs while we were on our honeymoon and I, being a superior vampire with super sperm, managed to successfully crack not one, but _two_ of them when we made love," he explains to me seriously. Then he winks.

"Braggart," I hear Emmett guffaw. I look up to see his dimpled face at the door grinning from Mouse ear to mouse ear. Where the hell did he dig that up anyway? I laugh out loud at him because he looks so damn ridiculous, and then stop when I see a blue bundle nestled against his barrel chest. "Shhh…" he murmurs to the tiny bundle in his arms.

This is _real_? I had... _twins_? Charlotte wiggles in my arms, and I watch her face break into a full toothless smile. I feel her nudging lightly at my shield and lift it momentarily so I can take a look at her thoughts. The scene she showed me moments ago fills my mind and I watch in awe as Rosalie does indeed manage to extract another baby from my womb. My own thoughts and feelings flood through my mind when I realize that my sister-in-law had indeed saved not only my life, but that of my son. A warm feeling of gratitude fills my heart, and in this moment I acknowledge that I will never be able to thank Rose enough for the part she played in our lives. As Edward says, vampires seldom experience change, but when they do they are altered forever. This is the case for me; Rosalie Hale Cullen is now my personal hero and my feelings for her will always be full of admiration and respect.

I watch the scene continue in my mind as Rose washes and diapers my son and places him in his father's arms. I strain to catch a glimpse of him and realize with a start that there is no need for me to watch the movie images in my head when I have the real baby a mere foot away!

"Bring him to me!" I bellow. Emmett chuckles as he walks over to me rapidly, "Yes, Ma'am…or should I say, _'Mummy'?_" he over-enunciates in a fake British accent and gives me a wink.

"That's enough, Emmett," Esme chastises. She and Carlisle are standing by the dresser watching us with smiles. Their arms are wrapped around each other and they beam with pride. "Mummy is an appropriate endearment for Edward and Bella's children to refer to their mother. Edward's parents were British after all."

"Aw, I'm only _joshing_," he tells her in an accent that sounds like he just hopped over from the motherland to say pip-pip. But despite his teasing tone, I watch his face grow tender as Edward removes Charlotte from my lap and Emmett places the blue bundle carefully in my open arms.

"Waaaaah!" he cries out. I look up at Edward who turns suddenly to the door and says, "You can come in now Rose." The door opens and Rosalie walks swiftly inside and towards us and hands Edward a bottle. He takes the bottle and sits on the floor with Charlotte still against his against his chest as he supports her with one hand and stretches out his long legs in front of him. With his other hand he pops the bottle into Charlotte's mouth and she begins to suck on it eagerly.

"Here, Bella…I made one for him too. I look up and see her eyes and a look of devotion passes through us both at the same time. My heart is so full right now at the image before me - my sister-in law, my hero…

"Rose, I-I can never begin to thank you enough," I say trying to find the words. But it's too much - I feel too overwhelmed."

"Bella, is it too much? Do you want me to take him?" Jasper asks as he appears by my side in a blur.

"Nah…she's okay, Jazz. Just let her have a minute to see her son for the first time." She turns to me and says," It's okay, Bella, I know you want to talk to me, and I have a lot to say to you too, but right now enjoy your baby boy. Get to know him a little. You and I have a lifetime to talk - hundreds of them!" she jokes.

I look down at the baby cradled in my arms and run my finger softly over his nose. His tiny hand flies up to bat it away and then I watch in amazement as he appears to pinch his sweet little button of a nose. He is his father's son alright!

"Look at his hair, Mummy," Rose says. "You'll be able to see him coming and going without too much strain on the old eyes." She gently removes the cap from his head and a riot of coppery red curls tumble out. He has hat hair and it's sticking up every which way. I laugh as I say, "He looks like a little rooster!"

"He looks exactly like his old man," Rose says in a dry voice.

"Yep, a chip off the old block!" calls out Emmett.

A small wrinkle appears between his eyes as he wrinkles his nose and pinches it again. I laugh with glee - it's like looking at a miniature Edward!

Rose chuckles as she hands me the bottle, and I guide it into his mouth and watch in fascination as he drinks it greedily.

"And five, four, three, two, one! Here ya go, Mr. Piggly Wiggly," Rosalie quips as she removes the drained bottle from his mouth and quickly replaces it with a fresh one. He takes this bottle just as covetously as the first, although he tapers off just before he sucks it dry. The nipple releases from his mouth and he lets out an enormous burp. He then sighs contentedly as his mouth forms a little smirk and he buries his face between my breasts. Yep, _he really is his father's son,_ I say to myself when he presses his face deeper into my chest and snuggles in with a tiny whimper. Edward looks up at me just then and smiles at me crookedly. I look at Charlotte all nestled snug as a bug in her daddy's arms and then back at the little man nestled in mine, and I melt! I'm consumed with love and happiness even as I battle back the millions of other emotions that are swimming deep from within. But the love…the utter joy that fills me to the brim - yeah, that's almost overwhelming!

"What should we call him, Bella?" Edward asks suddenly. I look at him in confusion and then my head clears; of course he doesn't have a name yet!

"I-I don't know…we never picked out a boy's name, did we?"

Edward shakes his head and say's "No, we didn't. And I refused to select a name without you. Sooo…that said, our son does need a name. Do you want to name him after your father?"

"Er, no. I mean I like Charlie as a name, but I can't imagine having a son with that name. I'll keep looking for a mustache and a police cruiser," I joked. "Besides, Charlotte is a variation of Charles anyway. What about naming him after you? I like Edward Anthony," I say with a little wink.

"Hmm…no, I don't really want to name him solely after me, love. Although I do have a decided preference for family names if that's agreeable to you," he says in his Edwardian fashion.

I laugh a little at his old fashioned speech and ask if he likes the name Masen, since it's his birth family's last name.

"No, it's too trendy. I read in Parents magazine that Masen is the number two name in the country these days, lord knows why. No one I knew even had that as a surname - at least not spelled with an E. Where do mothers come up with these names, I wonder?"

"I don't know Edward; they probably got it from a book or a movie, who knows? I've been a little out of touch with pop culture lately," I explain. "Well, what about-"

"Hey guys, why don't we give them a minute or two to discuss this privately?" I look up and grin widely at the little pixie who is now standing at the door.

"Hey, Alice," I call out to her.

"Hi, Bella! I see Edward didn't listen to me, just as I suspected. What the hell do you have on anyway? Are those _sweatpants_?" she snarls at Edward. He shrugs his shoulders noncommittally. She shakes her head in mock aggravation and says, "You could at least have put her in yoga pants for heaven's sakes. _Sweat Pants_. And they look like they're your old pair from gym class too"," she huffs in disgust.

"Okay, this is worse than I thought. Esme and Rose - you two come with me. I want to take some family portraits and I'm not going to have the new mother wearing her husband's ratty old sweats from 1977. Come help me pick something out. And you boys go see if Charlie is awake and tell him to get ready. I know he's dying to see his daughter. Oh, and Jazz - don't get all worked up over Bella flipping out and draining him when she sees him for the first time, okay? I had a strong vision about an hour ago, and Charlie and Bella are going to be fine, so no more experiments; is that understood?"

"Yes Ma'am," Jasper shouts as he salutes his wife. They both burst into laughter and the rest of the family leaves the room as Alice commands. Edward gets up and goes over to the cradle that is next to his bed and puts Charlotte inside. From its depths I can hear the sweet sounds of her snores as she settles in for a nap. "Sweet dreams, Gertie," he whispers to her before he turns back to me and our son.

"Gertie?" I ask with a frown. "Who came up with that?"

"Blame it on Uncle Emmett, and not me, Bella. He swears that she batted her eyes at him when she opened them for the first time and he's called her Flirty Gertie ever since. I'm sorry, love, it is a rather sweet endearment, but I'll make him stop if you wish."

Pfft! From the way he delivers this speech I already know that _Gertie_ is a done deal. Ah well, it's just a nickname. It could be worse I suppose. We might have actually named her Renesmee and Emmett could have come up with something really ridiculous…like, Nessie, for example. Ugh!

"Okay, as long as it doesn't become a constant thing. Charlotte is too beautiful a name for it to go to waste."

"Yes, it is," Edward agrees with a smile. "Bella, bring him over here and let's sit back on the bed and discuss our son's name together. I fixed the bed, see?" he says as he gives the bed a few good bounces. I chuckle to myself thinking how he still manages to look and act like a seventeen year old boy regardless of the fact that he is now a husband and a father.

I get up with our son in my arms and walk gracefully over to our bed and sit down next to Edward, who quickly gathers us both into his arms and settles us all in the center of our old bed. He leans over the side and scoops up ole flirty Gertie and cradles her against his chest and then turns to me with a smirk. "Well, love, this is it. This is our little family. Did you ever in a million years think we would wind up with a son and a daughter in the middle of the bed that my brother, who almost attacked you, gave us as an apology?" I laugh at his prattle.

Edward leans over the lot of us and gives me a soft kiss. "This is nice…" he says to me.

"It is," I say in agreement. I look at my husband who is all curled up next to me with our sleeping babies between us and I run my foot over his. He feels so good. And feels so… different? My new senses are immediately reminded of how different he feels to me now. He no longer looks or feels like the vampire I fell in love with - no, he looks and feels exactly like a man. My man!

"We're the same temperature now," he says as he runs his foot a bit more playfully against mine. It tickles, and I let out a little laugh. Our son wrinkles his nose and the crease in his forehead returns.

"He looks just like you when he does that!" we both cry out at the same time.

This makes us both dissolve into laughter, and our startled son opens his eyes and looks at us both. We gasp when he looks at us and we watch in wonder as he curves his lips into a crooked smile. Charlotte wakes up and looks at the three of us, and I swear I hear her soft laugh for the first time.

Our son blinks his eyes at me and without thinking I call out, "Teddy!" for his eyes are the same shade of springtime green as the ones that flashed briefly at me on that long ago day last fall after Edward cried in my arms when he told me about his sister. I am reminded that I thought I saw them again on our first night on Isle Esme after Edward and I had made love. Something tells me that's when he was conceived.

"Oh Edward, he looks exactly like you did when you were human," I cry. "He is the spitting image of you!"

"Yes, he certainly does seem to favor my side of the family in looks, but his mind is just like that of his mother's; it's completely silent to me," he says with a chuckle. Edward takes our son's tiny hand in his, and I notice that their fingers are exactly the same too; long and elegant. I wonder if our home will be blessed with two piano players in the future.

"Well, welcome to the world Teddy," says his father softly. "It's nice to finally meet you - eye to eye that is!" Teddy smiles at him sleepily then turns his head and settles it once more against my chest with a sigh and a whimper.

"So, it's decided then," I declare. "Teddy it is! Shall we call the rest of the family in to tell them?"

"No…why don't we wait a bit. I'm sure Alice already knows anyway. Besides, I really don't like nicknames for first names. I wouldn't mind calling him Teddy but I would prefer it if his given name was a bit more, erm, dignified. That is, if you wouldn't mind, love."

"No, I don't mind at all. I wanted to call him Edward anyway. After all, it is the name of his father and the love of my life…" I tease.

"Edward? Yes, I suppose that is the proper name and fitting, but I don't want him to be a junior," he says decisively.

"Well, technically he wouldn't be a junior; he'd be a third because your father was also named Edward Anthony. Huh. Maybe we should go with it and call him Tripp or Trey?"

Edward wrinkles his nose, and this idea is immediately squashed. I think back to our family and my mind sees Rosalie's beautiful face - stubborn yes, but determined and loyal too. Suddenly I have an idea!

"Hey, Edward, do we still have that book of baby names in your nightstand?" we had stashed it in his room one weekend when the Denali's had been in town, and we'd let Laurent and Irina stay in our cottage so they could have a little one-on-one time away from the prying eyes of Tanya and the rest of the clan. It was the same weekend that Jessica threw me a baby shower and Angela, not knowing that we already had a name for our daughter reserved, had given this book to me as a gift. Edward leans over to the nightstand, opens the drawer and pulls it out with a flourish. He hands it to me and I ruffle through the pages eagerly. There it is!

"Look, Edward…this is perfect!"

And it is.

We read it aloud together **"Hale \ha-le\ as a boy's name is pronounced **_**hayle**_**. It is of Old English origin. The meaning of Hale is hero."**

"It's perfect," we both agree. We laugh again as we realize that his at least the third time we've said the same thing at the same time since I awoke from my transformation.

"So… Edward Hale Cullen?" I ask.

"Yes, Edward Hale Cullen, who will affectionately be known as Teddy. What do you think of your brother's name, Ger-ah, Charlotte?" he corrects himself. "Sorry, Bella," he says with an apologetic smile. I lean over and kiss him on his lips with a smile. The name Gertie is starting to grow on me, but no way will I tell her father or anyone else that. No way. My mind is a steel trap.

"Yeah, it's not so bad after all, is it?" he teases me.

Shit! The shield must have slipped again. I'm going to Zaffrina for a refresher.

"Are you thirsty, sweetheart? I know you need to hunt, but Carlisle did bring a dozen or so Big Gulps for you, and I know that Alice is dying to take some pictures."

I tell him that although my throat is aching a little, I have no desire to leave my babies just yet. He sets Charlotte in my arms and goes to the cooler and takes out two more drinks for me. I cuddle both of our babies in our arms and sigh in contentment. Yes, I am still overwhelmed by all the changes in my life, but motherhood seems to suit me.

I watch Edward's face as he walks back to us, and I see the expression on his face; it is tender and full of love. Instead of getting back into the bed with us he drops to his knees by my side. I look at him expectantly as he takes one hand and cups my cheek.

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you for not giving up on me and for making me see that with you by my side anything is possible. Before you came along, I was a grumpy old man who never knew what it was like to really live. I wandered around for years living in everybody else's shadows never really making one of my own. I played my music, but there were never any words because I couldn't find them in the darkness. I went to school dozens of times, but never made a friend so I never really learned anything important. I never shared my body with anyone so I didn't know about intimacy or the power of touch. I didn't know what love was... only that it existed in books, poetry, movies, and plays. I believed that true love was meant for everyone but me. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you and I worship you. You're my wife, the mother of our children, and my best friend." He kisses my cheek softly and reverently.

Okay, can I just say that even though this is a lovely and heartfelt little speech, I barely hear a word because the fly on his boxers is partially open and all I can think about is: _when are we gonna get these pictures taken anyway so we can go hunt and I can have my wicked way with this gorgeous man!_

Does this make me a bad person?

Before I can answer him (or myself) the door swings back open and Alice and the gang return with their arms full of clothes and presents. They take the babies from us and sit in the various spots in the room while Edward and I go into the bathroom and change. I would love to take a shower but even as Edward suggests it I know it is a bad idea for us to start something we won't be able to finish. I do take a moment to grab Mr. Masen and give him a quick kiss hello and promise to catch up with him later. (Oh, and in case you're wondering I also tell my husband that he needs to purchase some boxers and lounge pants that won't accidently open and reveal the family jewels, especially since we now have children around!) I laugh when I see him look down at his crotch and notice his, er, situation. He looks like he would blush if he was able, but then he turns around and pinches my fanny saying, "It's entirely your fault for being so damn sexy when you first woke up. I must have popped the damn button off these things."

Meh, - it happens all the time. I'll pick him up some new underwear myself as soon as Carlisle deems me fit to be around humans. What should only take seconds takes us at least ten minutes as we stroke and touch each other between kisses, zippers, and sleeves.

When we return to our family, Alice places us all into position and sets up the camera for a group shot.

"Okay, we're all set," she calls out in the seconds before the timer on the old fashioned Brownie camera goes off. I look up when I hear a noise at the doorway and see my dad enter the room. He gives me a little wave before he quickly jockeys himself into position and reaches to take Charlotte from Emmett's arms.

"Show me the love!" Alice cries. I look around the room and see all the wonderful faces beaming and bursting with happiness and pride. From the human to the vampire and to the children who are the best of both, I look at my father, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Charlotte and Teddy. My heart, though no longer beating, fills with love. Then I look up into my husband's impossibly beautiful face and sigh. I am happy and complete. This is my family.

Later we will gather our children and return to the cottage. Alice and Rose will hang out for a bit while we hunt and I make good on my promise to have my way with Edward. I will have a reunion with my dad and we'll discuss how or if we should tell Renee the full truth about the Cullens. Edward and I will have long talks while our children sleep, about the future and our plans. Esme and Carlisle will babysit, and Edward and I will go for another walk and return to the magic place we know as our meadow. And in our meadow, where it all really began, we will make love to each other again and again.

But right now?

We're busy mugging in front of the camera and creating memories for scrapbooks and Christmas cards.

Emmett is prancing around in the room with his mouse ears and calling Edward a Dumbass as if it's his first name. Edward growls at him as he lunges and pins him to the floor where they lay tangled and laughing. Brothers…

Rosalie is telling Emmett not to _be_ a dumbass and tells him to take that stupid hat off so she can scare the trash man with it again. She scoops it off his head and runs out of the room laughing hysterically when she hears Emmett curse and then chases after her.

Jasper is sitting at the desk writing on some kind of parchment paper with a quill and ink. I will later find out that he is writing letters to Charlotte and Teddy chronicling our first day as a family together.

Charlie is cradling both babies in his grandmother's chair. He rocks back and forth, and I hear him chuckle when Charlotte reaches out and tugs on his mustache.

Esme is standing in back of Charlie singing a lovely lullaby in Italian. Her sweet voice fills the room with its melodic beauty.

Carlisle stands by the window quietly with his face turned to the sun. I see his eyes close and his lips move as if in prayer. As I watch him, I am filled with the awareness that he is thanking God for his family and is asking for his blessing.

Alice is busy snapping pictures with her old Brownie camera then switches it up and replaces it with a digital one that hasn't even been put on the market yet. Later she will make a home movie that we'll watch on our twins first birthday.

I look around the room and at the sea of faces that make up my family and grin. Because, yeah, we're showing each other "the love" today and everyday as we take the first step into our own little piece of forever.

I now know that a fork in the road doesn't always mean a parting of ways because at the end of our journey all the different roads we take in this life really do lead to the same place.

Home.

_**The end**_

**A/N:** And so we come full circle. It has been an amazing journey and I am so happy for all the readers who have come along with me for the ride!

I would like to thank my lovely beta coleen561 for all her hard work and dedication. There were times when I really wanted to hang up the towel on this story and just say, "No more!" However Coleen always offered me excellent ideas when my well ran dry in addition to fixing my misplaced commas and dangling participles. Because I can be a bit of a control freak I didn't think I would enjoy working with a beta. I was wrong. She has been the best!

When I first began this story I had no idea how to end it really, because in my mind it was only to be a few chapters about Bella seducing Edward in order to make him stay. However Edward and Bella had a story to tell that wasn't pure fluff and smutty lemons, (though there were plenty of those and they were fun to write!) Back in July of 2010 (when I wrote my first four chapters) I had no idea that Edward would have a sister who died as a child or that Charlie and Tanya had a brief but powerful encounter when he was a teenage boy. But as often happens, characters begin to take on a life of their own and this is what happened to my little four chapter exercise to get my muse cracking!

Thank you all so much for your reviews, PM's, and your continuing support. If you haven't left a review before won't you consider doing so now?

Remember to keep me on author and story alert in the event there are some future takes!

Jayne

XO!


	30. Chapter 31: Twice as nice

Twice as Nice

"Hi baby, what are you up to?"

I glance over at Edward as he enters the room in our tiny study and offer him a quick smile the turn my attention back to my laptop where I have been working steadily for the past hour getting everything ready for our twins christening in two weeks. Yesterday Edward and I drove into town and met with Angela's father, Reverend Weber, who had officiated at our wedding last summer. The twins are over two months old now and are growing like weeds. We would have had the christening sooner but Edward wanted me to have a little more time to adjust to my vampiric state. So far I seem to be doing well, last week I went to Wal-mart with Alice and bought Edward some new underwear. I don't think the woman had ever been in a Wal-mart before judging by the look on her face and the comments she made. "Bella, are you sure you don't want me to order Edward's boxers from Niemen Marcus? These are just so...white. And plain. And...cheap." I laughed when I heard her snobbish remarks because Edward would be horrified to have his sister involved in the purchase of his drawers. Besides they never stay on long enough to matter anyway; I either rip them off or... okay…well...I guess I _always_ rip them off come to think of it. Huh.

Grinning, I pop in the thumb drive to save my announcement and print off a copy for him to read. I hand it to him with a flourish.

_Mr. and Mrs. Edward A. Cullen of Forks, Washington are proud to announce the birth of their daughter, Charlotte Rose Cullen, born on January 13, 2012. Charlotte was born at 10:17 am and weighed in at 7lbs 14 oz and measured 21 inches long. They also welcomed the surprise birth of their son, Edward Hale Cullen. "Teddy" was born at 10:22 am and weighed in at 7 lbs 15 oz and measured 23 inches long. Both mother (the former Isabella Swan) and children are doing well._

_Maternal grandparents are Mr. Charles A. Swan of Forks, Washington and Mrs. Renee Dwyer of Kissimmee, Florida. Fraternal grandparents are Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle P. Cullen of Forks Washington. Also celebrating in the births are proud Uncles Emmett M. Cullen and Jasper W. Cullen and Aunts Alice B. Cullen and Rosalie H. Cullen also of Forks, Washington. _

_Double the trouble, double the fun,__  
__our life with twins, has just begun!_

_Godparents for the twins will be Jasper and Alice Cullen and Emmett and Rosalie Cullen, Uncles and Aunts of the twins._

_Friends and family are welcome to join the proud family on their estate for the twin's christenings on April 2nd at 11:00 am. The Reverend Thomas G. Weber will preside. Lunch will immediately follow the ceremony._

"This looks good, Bella. Where did you get that little rhyme?" he says running his nose along the back of my neck and nibbling on my ear.

"Meh- I stole it off of the back of an ad on Parents magazine," I groan as he licks the shell of my ear hotly.

"Mmmm... how very resourceful of you. Do you want to drive to town so we can drop it off at the newspaper office?" he says squeezing my bottom with those wicked hands of his. I squeal when he gives one cheek a little pinch.

"Hey! Watch those hands, you're gonna make me lose my work. I'm just going to email it to them. But Alice did offer to watch the kids if you want to take a drive and do something else, baby." I give him a little wink and squeeze his bottom playfully to give him an indication of the direction that my mind is going in.

"Yeah? Well, _your _hands are going to make me lose my mind if you don't get that sweet little ass of yours in the Volvo...like right the hell now!" he says as he grabs my purse, the keys, and me. I'm in the car so fast that my head is practically spinning into outer orbit.

"Hey, Edward?" I ask casually as he pops the Volvo into gear.

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Like what?"

"Er, _the babies?_ Alice isn't even at the cottage yet, Dumbass!"

"Fuck!"

Ten minutes later Alice arrives, instructions are given, the kids are kissed goodbye, and my ass is back in the car.

Vrooom-vrooooom-vrooooooooom!

And we're off!

Hope to see you all at the Christening!

Love, Bella


	31. Chapter 32: Out foxing the fox

Edward: Jayne, what the heck have you done to this story?

Me: Um, what do you mean, Edward? I gave you a decent ending to a very long story. Not that I minded giving up the last two years of my life or anything, but…you really shouldn't complain about the epilogue. I mean…I did the best I cou-

Edward: No, no! That isn't what I mean at all. God lord, you're worse than Bella is when it comes to assuming.

Me: Well, pardon me for living Edward but-

Edward: Yes, love I know…the graveyards full. Now please….here me out, okay?

Me: Okay…but honestly I did-

Edward: Ahem!

Me: (Shutting up)

Edward: Alright then. Now, from what I can gather you juggled around a few chapters recently when you created the outtakes story. Is that correct?

Me: Er, yes?

Edward: Yes. And by doing that you realize you have now made it impossible for your loyal readers to leave a review, do you not?

Me: Er…

Edward: (Sighing) That's what I was afraid of, Jayne. You put the cart before the horse in this case I'm afraid.

Me: Aw crap…is that why my review count was down last time?

Edward: Well, er, yes. I hoped you would realize it yourself so I didn't have to interfere but you've GIVEN ME NO CHOICE!

Me: Why are you being so hostile?

Edward: I'm sorry Jaynie…it's just you keep that damn breaking dawn movie on 24/7 and the main character is rubbing off on me!

Me: Er, Edward? I hate to burst your bubble vamp-man but the reason he is rubbing off on you is because he is YOU! (Mutter dumbass to self)

Edward: Don't be so harsh on yourself, you're not a dumbass.

Me: I was referring to you, Edward.

Edward: Well, I never…

Me: Yes, yes you did…thanks to me. A Lot! Now get your skinny Lilly white ass back to Bella so I can fix my fuck up and readers can tell me how hot you are and that they wish they were Bella. I know of several readers who want to tear the buttons off of that blue button down you're so fond of with their teeth and then lay you down on that gray pea coat and slowly lower themselves onto your sparkling coc-

Edward: Uh, yeah, I've got to be dashing now I'm afraid. Good luck old girl! (Muttering) I knew I should have packed that ridiculous pea coat and sent it off to good will with Emmett's mouse ears…lily white ass my Aunt Fanny.

Me: (to myself) So…I wonder how many of these cheap fillers I'm gonna have to write tonight before I fix my fuck-up?

Chapter 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,

Lord A Mercy! Please if I ever did anything right in this life-let this work and if it does then please god…have them leave me a review!

Sorry for the mess up-but fanfiction doesn't understand that when I jiggle I jaggle and the chapters settled in the wrong place. Fingers crossed that this will work!


	32. Chapter 32: Frazzled

_**Readers: **STOP here if you haven't read Epilogues one and two. Then read this and the A/N at the end of this…er, conversation. Thanks!_

Frazzled

Not an outtake…not even close.

**Edward:** Hello, love! How are you today? Did you get that mess you made of my story on fanfiction straightened out yet? You look positively frazzled, my dear.

**Me:** Okay. Can I begin by saying that when you tell a woman she looks "frazzled" that is simply an Edwardian way of saying that she looks like shit? Because it is.

Secondly, it is not YOUR story, it's mine. You are simply a figment that originally manifested in Stephenie Meyer's brain and then hopped from writer to writer and spread like some kind of weird-ass virus… which I apparently contracted back in 2010 . You're like Typhoid Mary or something! And honestly…you're hard to cure because you manifest differently in everyone's head and are the master of disguise. You're like the Influenza pandemic flu of 1917. Maybe we should call you the _Fandemic flu of 2005 that influenzed millions of women._

Finally, yes, I fixed most of the issues on MY story early this morning. _Extremely early_, as in 1:30 am, which is why, as you so eloquently put it, I "look positively frazzled."

**Edward:** Oh love…I'm so sorry. I beg your pardon Jayne; I never meant to insult you. Trust me when I say that was never my intent. You look lovely, as always. Are those dungarees new? They certainly enhance your figure!

**Me:** Oh for Pete's sakes… stop trying to dazzle me and save that shit for Bella. And _dungaree's_…really, Edward? You're dating yourself here.

**Edward:** Dating myself? Is that possible? Besides you know that I am already married… to Bella (you married us yourself by channeling Rev. Weber, last summer.) In any event…all teasing and mocking aside…what are, if any, your plans for Bella and me? Do you have any thoughts about future moments or possibly a sequel?

**Me:** Umm, today is probably NOT a good idea to ask me that question because I am as you put it, _frazzled_, and I am also exhausted. But since my readers are also sending me PM's with this same question, I will simply ask that they put me on alert as I do have a few ideas in mind.

**Edward:** Why don't you grab your bathing costume, a cold beverage, and your Kindle and head down to the pool for a few hours? I think you deserve a bit of rest and relaxation. Besides I fear I am about to "manifest" again and soon. I understand Rochelle and Savage are updating today and Camilla has a new plot bunny (must brush up on my Italian) hopping about in her head. And don't even get me started on Kiya and Windymes…they both take forever to update and when they do it's within days of each other and by God-Australia is a damn big continent. I would like to spend a little time with Bella and the children, you know!

**Me**: (Grabbing bathing "costume", beverage (Mich Ultra) Kindle, and car keys.)

Okie dokie Eddie boy! I'll catch ya in between plot bunnies and updates then. I love ya, kiddo!

**Edward:** I love you too…most ardently.

**Me**: Puhleaze tell me you aren't doing a P&P crossover now?

**Edward:** (Sighing) Er, I'm not exactly certain…I believe I'm off to Regency England…in some kind of a… space craft? I'm not sure where this one is heading. How well do you know a Lissa Bryan? Oh God…I've got to dash…Sydney Alice is getting out her laptop! Goodbye, Love!

**A/N: **Okay readers…I think that this is the last of the cheap fillers that were cleverly designed by yours truly as a method to assist you in leaving a review for the epilogue. In case you missed it…BPOV, _Baby I'm back_, posted last night. Many of my readers were unable to leave a review because I fiddled around with the chapters when I created the outtake story and FF assigned the new chapters the old chapter's numbers. (Which is why some people were told they already reviewed this chapter when they had not…) Does this make ANY sense? Lol! Probably not! Anyway…if you want to leave a review and are unable to do so you can just drop it off here!

Hope you all enjoyed this little story. I thank you all for taking the time to read and for your continuing support!

Jane with a y

XO!


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